Saw what you did and knows who you are.
- Apr 9, 2011
It is not “mild embarrassment”. It is not a case of her being occasionally loud or sometimes cursing. Every kid does that, and that is manageable.I think you are being a bit too self-conscious about Child B's behavior. I heard plenty of loud yells and cursing on our Disney cruises. It's not first class on the Titanic. What you are suggesting to do to this girl by inviting another equally close friend but not her, and doing so either because she is poor (which is not an "out" because telling her that is the reason would likely be even more hurtful than making it about her cursing) or because she is a bit loud and (like a huge segment of america) curses sometimes seems far far more hurtful than any mild embarrassment that you might feel.
I also note, that I have some concern with the suggestion that A's parents should pay for their daughter's cruise fare. That seems odd; why would the parents pay for their child to go on a vacation without them? You would be basically asking them to pay hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars so that your daughter can have company. And if the parents say no they are put in the awkward spot of being the "mean" parents who won't let their daughter go. I think if you are inviting someone else's child to join your family somewhere: whether to dinner, a theme park, or a cruise vacation, you should expect to pay.
Kid B is more than that. Kid B has gotten us asked to leave restaurants in the past if she didn’t curb her language. Kid B regularly wanders off in group outings for no particular reason, forcing impromptu search parties to find her and ruining things for others, to where she’s not allowed on school field trips anymore.
Again, she means no real harm, but keeping her in check is a job in and of itself. All the more so on a ship out in the middle of international waters or in a foreign port, where my wife and I have assumed responsibility for her well-being.
I think I already acknowledged that using her family’s inability to pay as a pretext, while feasible, would probably just make the girl feel worse. I agree that that’s not the way to go.
Finally, I would not ask Kid A’s parents to pay. We know them well, and they would insist on paying. We would insist on paying. And in the end, we’d probably wind up splitting it, as we’ve often done, with roles flip-flopping, in similar situations over many years.