First of all.... I LOVE your girl's names. I read them to my husband and he said we could always change our girl's names!
I say invite who you want!
First of all.... I LOVE your girl's names. I read them to my husband and he said we could always change our girl's names!
I say invite who you want!
I love your names, too! After NEVER, EVER meeting another Reagan while growing up, it has been neat to see people start to name their little girls Reagan. Yesterday I even saw personalized frames with Reagan on them....could not believe it!!!!
Although we often mix family and friends I can understand too where your IL's are coming from. For the past three years it has just been them and your family, sort of a tradition has been established and now its been rocked a bit.
This is what I was thinking, as well. Honestly, if I were them I'd probably be a little unhappy at first. They are used to this being a family tradition, and a day they spend just with family, and now it won't be. You are close enough to consider the neighbors family, but they aren't. I'm not a hugely social person and for me a day spent with just family is fun and relaxing, but a day spent with people I don't know well is somewhat stressful. I would be disappointed if our family Christmas turned into Christmas with my family and their friends who I'm not close to. I'd probably feel like a third wheel.
OP, it's your house and you absolutely should be able to invite anyone you want to, but a family Christmas isn't a typical hosted event, and the whole family tends to feel more "ownership" (for lack of a better word) of it than they would of some other event. Yes, your inlaws are your guests but I'm sure they feel like it's their Christmas, too, and this probably isn't their first choice of how they would want to spend it. They could be disappointed that this has changed from the day they were looking forward to into something different. I'm not saying you're wrong, because you aren't. But I think it's understandable that they aren't thrilled with the change.
I;m a highly social person and we entertain a lot. that said, when we have gatherings for family or certain groups of friends...that's it. that's all the people we want to see. dynamics change when you add different people.
hubby has 2 best buds and our 3 families always try to make a day during christmas to celebrate christmas together. we enjoy being with other folks and both come to my nye bash where everyone is invited including ppl i don't know. but our special day is just for us, no one else is welcome.
we do this more or less for family too. sometimes an extra person or so join us...but I would feel it very rude to invite a whole other family to my family christmas meal. your ILs don;t know them. and even if they did, i still think it changes the vibe enough to be inappropriate.
we invite dh's best buds to family functions. they grew up together and call all their moms, "Mom". i still wouldn't invite them to family christmas.
this year we are spending christmas day with one of the buds...but that's because neither of us are spending that particular day with our own extended families so we said we'd get together.
i don't blame the ILs for feeling a bit miffed. situation is done and over with - I'm sure they can be gracious. just try to keep them as included as possible. in future, check with them before extending the invite list. when it's something like this, I consider it changing the "theme" of the party and always check with previously invited guests first.
This is exactly how I feel. I wouldn't like spending Christmas Day with my DD's friends, particularly a family of six. Eight kids would probably drive me to drinking!I wouldn't feel comfortable and it would spoil Christmas for me. I want to spend Christmas with my family, not my family and their friends.
We have hosted Christmas brunch for 3 years (this being our 4th). It's our family of six and my MIL and FIL. This year I was talking to a friend who said they are staying home so I invited them over for brunch, they are also a family of 6. I am not asking my inlaws to bring anything over between myself and my friend we have the entire brunch covered. I understand my inlaws want to spend the day with us, but it's my house shouldn't I be able to invite who I want over and enjoy the day my way. Plus I know my girls will be happy to play with their friends as well.
Thoughts? Does anyone else have friends AND family over?
They live very close as a matter of fact we saw them last weekend. Of course if we didn't see them that often I wouldn't invite anyone else over. I just wanted to see what others thoughts. The friends of ours are neighbors and are like family. We spend weekends together and our children are the same ages so it makes it so nice.