Inspired by the giving presents to teachers thread- giving presents to nurses

[roseprincess]

I worked as an RN for a few yrs before I became a SAHM. When I worked as a staff nurse at nursing homes(graveyard shifts, days, and PM shifts), I hardly knew family of the residents that appreciated the nurses. I didn't rotate shifts. Just at one nursing home I worked, I worked graveyard shift for 3yrs before I left for another position and another shift. Then I worked days for 2 yrs, then PM shift for a yr, then quit(when I found out I was pregnant with twins and had to be on bedrest). When I worked graveyard shifts at this one nursing home, there were boxes of candy around that families must have brought in during holiday time. That was nice. But when I worked days and PM shifts at other nursing homes, I never saw much appreciation from family members of hte patient/residents to the nurses or any one specific nurse, unless I suppose it was for the charge nurse of that unit? I remember more of families being nasty to me, making me look for missing items, clothes that they were complaining were missing, etc. I had one family curse me and using lots of swearing at me b/c I was assigned to that unit and the family didn't know me that well? I took care of their 101 yr old mom that day and that's what I got was alot of swearing. It was on a holiday(4th of July) and most administration of the nurs. home were not htere, they were off. Maybe the family thought they can get away with swearing at me? Also, I didn't find much appreciation from other nursing staff, even during Nursing Appreciation Day/ Week
Other staff nurses I worked with back- stabbed me alot. Don't know why, maybe b/c I did all my work and always did my best, always on my feet. The other nurses that back-stabbed me were sitting around and gabbing away, true story. Even the D.O.N.(Director of Nursing) were not always respectful of hte nursing staff at the nursing homes I worked at. Not much nurse appreciation going around during hte nurse appreciation week .
Nursing is a very caring profession, whether nurses work at hospitals, nursing homes, clinics, doctors offices, school nurse,etc. This is why I had gone into nursing, to help other people. Nurses (at least in nursing homes) are on their feet alot(if you are doing all your work), have to help lift the bedridden patients,pass meds, do wound treatments, answer phones,do all their charting,etc. It can be a rewarding profession, helping the people in need. I guess I don't understand why nurses, at least in nursing homes, don't get individual gifts from family or any kind of gift in general from most family members. I understand different nurses work on the same resident every shift, everyday. I just don't understand why nurses are not as respected as teachers are? Please no flaming here, just observation of the time I worked as a nurse.
I know that waitresses, bartenders, beauty salon people get tips. Don't understand why nurses don't get monetary tips as a symbol of appreciation from family members of the people they are helping? Nurses don't get paid that much, esp. in nursing homes.
I have been out of working in the nursing profession for a few yrs, been a SAHM for quite awhile, which I enjoy very much! Maybe things have changed, as of respect/ gifts for the nurses since then?

Would love to hear any nice stories of any nurse appreciation gifts families had brought or bought for any specific nurse or nurses esp in nursing homes.
Any nice stories of gifts given to nurses during the holidays and/ or nursing appreciation week from the nursing home families and/ or nursing home staff.

 

[disykat]

This is one of the reasons I don't like teacher gifts (and I'm a teacher). To me, anything beyond a simple token feels kind of like a tip. Contrary to your opinion, I don't think professionals should get tips.

Most people tip because it is required in certain circumstances, not as a true sign of appreciation. When I tip a waiter, I don't do it with any expectation that they are going to feel all warm & fuzzy about how appreciated they are. When I thanked the nurses after a recent hospital stay, I assumed they would know I meant my heartfelt thanks despite the fact that no money changed hands.

 

[roseprincess]

This is one of the reasons I don't like teacher gifts (and I'm a teacher). To me, anything beyond a simple token feels kind of like a tip. Contrary to your opinion, I don't think professionals should get tips.

Most people tip because it is required in certain circumstances, not as a true sign of appreciation. When I tip a waiter, I don't do it with any expectation that they are going to feel all warm & fuzzy about how appreciated they are. When I thanked the nurses after a recent hospital stay, I assumed they would know I meant my heartfelt thanks despite the fact that no money changed hands.

For me ,I always felt tipping waitresses, etc. was a sign of appreciation to the waitress, etc. I know there are rules to tip 18% (used to be 15%). You don't HAVE to tip a waitress, hair salon person,etc. Some people do not tip at all, tho I do.
I'm just talking about respect in general to nurses ie. getting small X-mas gifts, like teachers get
This is really not a tipping debate, just wondering why nurses are not as respected as teachers are?
I do thank you for thanking the nurses, tho

 

[disykat]

just wondering why nurses are not as respected as teachers are?

I still just don't "get" how you seem to think that less gifts = less respect. There are many people I respect greatly that I never give gifts to.

 

[roseprincess]

If you read my original post, I'm not just talking about gifts(or no gifts) to nurses, the verbal respect that nurses don't get. Like I said, I've been back-stabbed many,many times from coworkers, screamed and sworn at from a patient's family. I'm sure other nurses have gone through this abuse as well. I can't be the only one

Would like to hear from other nurses, please. thanks.

 

[sugarpie]

I'm a nurse & I've worked in both a hospital & nursing home. There are definitely families that give you a hard time, but you always need to put yourself in their position. They're really not angry with you, they're frustrated with the situation and they're venting. It's not personal.

The wonderful families stick in my head more than the difficult ones. I had an elderly lady try to stick cash in my hand for taking such good care of her husband. Of course I didn't accept it. I'm payed to care for people & I would never accept a personal gift.

Just a few months ago I stayed after my shift to sit with a woman dying of COPD & her family. They were scared & had a lot of questions. They just wanted her as comfortable as possible & they needed to know somebody cared. After her death the family contacted administration to see if they could write me a check. They, of course, said no. Her family chose to donate $1,000 to a chartity of my choice.

It is gratifying to know that you've done a good job. I'm sorry you never felt appreciated, but personal gifts are just not appropriate for a nurse.

 

[taximomfor4]

I would think there's a conflict of interest in "gifting" nurses. We learned in the very first semester of nursing school that we cannot accept ANY GIFT that can be taken home. Only gifts that can go to the nurses' station to be shared amongst the staff.

I really think this is a good thing, because it guarantees that nurses won't prefer patients of certain circumstances (socio-economic, etc) over other patients.

 

[All American]

When I was pregnant, I got REALLY sick and had to be admitted into the hospital. Ended up there for a week. That's the short story.

I had never been a patient in a hospital and was pretty nervous and scared. Add pregnancy, pain, and pre-term labor, and you wind up with quite the patient. Because I was there for so long (it seemed to me), I met half of the staff in the Labor/Delivery section of the hospital.

I knew alot of girls who had gone into nursing and realize how demanding it is to be on your feet all day dealing with so much sickness, pain, and sometimes death, day in and day out. I couldn't do it. The way I expressed my appreciation was to simply say "please" and "thankyou." I know it is not a lot, but I figured a little gratitude can go a long way. As for my husband, he bought a card and some chocolates for the nurses in the department because it was just as tough on him and they took care of him as well getting pillows and blankets, etc.

What was nice was when I went to have the baby a few months later, the nurses remembered me as that girl who was so polite.

The end.

 

[sugarpie]

I wanted to add that I completely understand the frustration you feel about working in a nursing home. More & more people are choosing assisted living facilities, which is good, but it means the people in the nursing homes are sicker & need more care. Add on all the changes in Medicare reimbursement which doubles the charting. And then supervising the CNA's who don't get paid well enough to stick around for long. It's tough.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It wouldn't occur to me to give a nurse a gift of any kind.

Thinking of writing a memo to the hospital for my nurse and physician's asistant who took care of me in the ER a couple of nights ago...but would have no clue how to give them a gift nor know if it is inappropriate.

I do my best to be as nice and easy a patient as possible depending on the circumstance. My nurse was nice enough to bring me a constant supply of cheerios as I forgot to bring my snack as I am nauseus as long as I am awake. He made a joke about not wanting to clean up my vomit and I just joked back. He had excellent rapport.

My first thought would not be to "tip" him though.

 

[sugarpie]

When I was pregnant, I got REALLY sick and had to be admitted into the hospital. Ended up there for a week. That's the short story.

I had never been a patient in a hospital and was pretty nervous and scared. Add pregnancy, pain, and pre-term labor, and you wind up with quite the patient. Because I was there for so long (it seemed to me), I met half of the staff in the Labor/Delivery section of the hospital.

I knew alot of girls who had gone into nursing and realize how demanding it is to be on your feet all day dealing with so much sickness, pain, and sometimes death, day in and day out. I couldn't do it. The way I expressed my appreciation was to simply say "please" and "thankyou." I know it is not a lot, but I figured a little gratitude can go a long way. As for my husband, he bought a card and some chocolates for the nurses in the department because it was just as tough on him and they took care of him as well getting pillows and blankets, etc.

What was nice was when I went to have the baby a few months later, the nurses remembered me as that girl who was so polite.

The end.

That's really nice. Sometimes it's a little surprising when you get a please or thank you. They don't happen that often. It really makes my day when somebody thanks me & they really mean it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This is really not a tipping debate, just wondering why nurses are not as respected as teachers are?
I do thank you for thanking the nurses, tho

Not trying to debate either--but I can show my appreciation in other ways aside from a gift.

 

[Pigeon]

I also think professionals don't get tips. Teachers generally only get gifts when the kids are in elementary school, and I think that's more of a function of kids liking to give presents than anything else. Actually in our school district, we are asked not to give gifts to the teachers, but rather to make donations to a children's charity if so inclined.

That said, I adore nurses. I had chemotherapy last summer and still have to go in for infusions every three weeks and the chemo nurses at my doctor's office are amazing women. I'm trying to decide what to bring in to show my appreciation on my last day (next month).

 

[noodleknitter]

My mom worked for years in a nursing home, and received 1 or 2 gifts. It would never have occured to her to expect them.

I think the whole teacher/gift thing comes from kids that want to do something special for someone special to them. It is a sweet gesture from young children.

Pigeon, congratulations on the end of chemo! We made a donation to the hat fund after my mom's chemo (several times, actually.) We would have taken food, but they've asked people not to feed the nurses...

 

[taximomfor4]

I must add that I did bring home ONE gift from a patient during clinicals. She was an amazing woman, and in our talking, I mentioned my daughter's name is "Rosie." Well, she had a card from someone or other that had a bear holding a bouquet of cards. She cut off the written part in the card, and gave me the picture (the front of the card). BEGGED me, all day, not to forget the Rosies for Rosie. Since it holds no "value" (technically it is garbage), I was allowed to bring it home. Got the "disapproval" vibes, but was allowed.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

State licensure law (at least in my state) does not allow nurses to accept gifts, except gifts of food or flowers that are presented to the entire unit. No individual gifts whatsoever.

Re: appreciation, I have definitely had different degrees of appreciation depending on what kind of job I had. Pediatrics= very little appreciation; parents are upset that their children are ill and that hospitals are so unpleasant for their children.

Geriatrics (hospital setting, not nursing home)= much more appreciation. I had more appreciation in 2 years working in geriatric mental health than in 15 years of pediatrics. Elders are so grateful to be taken to the bathroom, talked to, just the simple things.

My hospital has a program where "customers" can write thank-you notes to people who did something special for them. At my last job, I had numerous heartfelt and sincere thank-yous from patients and their families, including promises to let their surgeon know what a great nurse I was, how kind I was, etc., etc. But nobody ever thought to write an offical thank you. That, in my opinion, is the best gift I could possibly receive--for a patient or family to formally let my supervisor know (via a note) that they felt they received special care from me.

Re: appreciation/colleagiality from other nurses: our profession is sorely lacking in solidarity. It's really a shame. We have very difficult jobs and we tear each other up instead of sticking together. "Nurses eat their young."

 

[NMAmy]

Before he died, my father had several extended stays in our local hospital before he had to go into a nursing home. My mother was there with him every day and I was always there to help him with breakfast before I went to work. The nurses and the physical therapists were wonderful, caring people. My mother knew them all by name and would bring them homemade goodies all the time. It made her feel good to let them know how very much we appreciated the care my dad received.

 

[roseprincess]

Thank you all for your replies!!

Thank you PrincessKitty 1, reminding me of the state liscensure laws. Tho I haven't worked in nursing in almost 10yrs, I did somewhat remember that individual gifts cannot be accepted, for whatever reasons.

Re: appreciation/colleagiality from other nurses: our profession is sorely lacking in solidarity. It's really a shame. We have very difficult jobs and we tear each other up instead of sticking together. "Nurses eat their young."

This was so true when I worked as an RN!!!You hit the nail on the head!!!!!
I know I was very encouraging to other co-workers, but they obviously were not with me . Some of my coworkers were very, very nasty with me and back-stabbed me quite a bit. Guess it was a "power" thing with them. It is a big shame that a mostly women profession, women can't get along and be kind to each other. IMO I think this is why there is and always had been a nursing shortage, besides all the hard work involved. Who would want to work with nasty and back-stabbing coworkers?

Thanks again to all that replied.

 

[MagicalMom]

I have never expected a gift from a pt. Now, if someone drops off some donuts in the morning you better believe I'll grab a chocolate one! but I don't expect anything.

Now what I would like is kindness. From pts, their family & co-workers. I'd like people to realize there are things out of my control. I can't order the kitchen to make you a double bacon cheeseburger. I can't give you 7 pillows because there are not enough to go around. I can't give you another pain pill for an hour, but as long as you can go outside to smoke & stop off at the snack machine, I think you'll make it.

Then you've got the grouchy co-workers. They're jealous because you discharged a pt & have 6 when they still have 7. Not to mention they are positive their pts are more difficult then yours. 12 hours with a bunch of grouchy, catty ladies can be too much for anyone to take.

I'll skip over the doctor yelling at you parts. I just don't even feel like thinking about that right now.

Nurses really do eat their young. I always swear some people become nursing instructors just so they can have power & make others miserable.

Shew, now I've got all that off my chest . I feel much better. Thank you. BTW, even if it doesn't sound like it, I love nursing!!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't expect gifts. I get paid as a professional to do my job. It is nice if someone says please and thank you, but if they don't, I still care for them.

Do I think that, as time goes on, nurses are respected less and less? Yes I do. But every day I try to find the one reason why I went to work that day, and so far, I can usually find it.