Inspired by the fundraiser/adoption thread

[mommaU4]

I have some questions about adoption that maybe someone can answer for me. I didn't read all of the other thread so if they were answered in that thread I apoplogize.

The other poster said she needed $30,000 to adopt her child. Why is it so expensive? Where does all the money go? If there are all these kids that need homes and the only thing stopping most people is the cost, why is there such a high cost? Wouldn't it be better to lower the cost and let the kids be adopted and out of the care of the state or whoever is currently footing the bill?

These questions may seem naive but I don't know anything about the whole process.
I have another question too.

I know a couple who used to do foster care. They got paid monthly to care for these 2 children. Then they adopted them and I assumed the money stopped because they were now their kids. But I was wrong. They continue to get over $1500 a month for these kids. Why? Why should they get anything once they've made the decision to adopt them?

 

[kdibattista]

Check out this thread: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1023598

I will pull out my paperwork tomorrow to give you a detail of where the $30,000 figure comes from but what I can remember it's:

$16,000 - total agency fee (I will breakdown more specifically tomorrow)
$9,000 - country fee (Kazakhstan)
$1,500 - homestudy
$1,000 - INS paperwork
$????? - orphanage donation
$????? - orphanage gifts
$????? - payment to drivers/translators
$7,000 - travel ($2,000 airfare per person and we will be staying in country for approximately 5 weeks)

It actually comes closer to $35,000 but we've already put out a little over $5,000.

 

[C.Ann]

The high costs are because these are international adoptions - not adoptions right here in the states.. All kinds of fees, travel expenses to and from the country where the adoption is taking place (and sometimes needing to make multiple trips), and things of that nature..

As for the people you know who fostered kids - then adopted them and still continued to receive money for them, you've got me on that one.. My cousin has fostered for years (I posted about it on the other thread) and eventually adopted one of the children.. At that point the money for that child stopped.. What state do these people live in that you are referring to?

 

[mommaU4]

The high costs are because these are international adoptions - not adoptions right here in the states.. All kinds of fees, travel expenses to and from the country where the adoption is taking place (and sometimes needing to make multiple trips), and things of that nature..

As for the people you know who fostered kids - then adopted them and still continued to receive money for them, you've got me on that one.. My cousin has fostered for years (I posted about it on the other thread) and eventually adopted one of the children.. At that point the money for that child stopped.. What state do these people live in that you are referring to?

Tennessee.

And about the international adoptions, this may sound very Pollyanna-ish but wouldn't they be even less expensive because some of the countries don't have much money to support all these orphaned kids? Wouldn't they just be happy that someone wants to take these kids off their hands so to speak and put them in good homes? Why make it so difficult?

 

[kdibattista]

And about the international adoptions, this may sound very Pollyanna-ish but wouldn't they be even less expensive because some of the countries don't have much money to support all these orphaned kids? Wouldn't they just be happy that someone wants to take these kids off their hands so to speak and put them in good homes? Why make it so difficult?

You would think

 

[C.Ann]

Tennessee.

And about the international adoptions, this may sound very Pollyanna-ish but wouldn't they be even less expensive because some of the countries don't have much money to support all these orphaned kids? Wouldn't they just be happy that someone wants to take these kids off their hands so to speak and put them in good homes? Why make it so difficult?

---------------------

Tennessee - huh? That's interesting..

As for the international adoptions, look at the figures that were quoted above and how high just the agency fee alone was.. And contrary to what some people may believe not "every" country is thrilled with the idea of Americans adopting their children.. I remember reading an article about it one time and there were at least two countries named but of course I was having one of my "senior moments" and I can't remember which ones they were..

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Check out this thread: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1023598

I will pull out my paperwork tomorrow to give you a detail of where the $30,000 figure comes from but what I can remember it's:

$16,000 - total agency fee (I will breakdown more specifically tomorrow)
$9,000 - country fee (Kazakhstan)
$1,500 - homestudy
$1,000 - INS paperwork
$????? - orphanage donation
$????? - orphanage gifts
$????? - payment to drivers/translators
$7,000 - travel ($2,000 airfare per person and we will be staying in country for approximately 5 weeks)

It actually comes closer to $35,000 but we've already put out a little over $5,000.

I saw a really awesome Baby story that covered a mom's adoption of a child from China. While they didn't go into details--they were as detailed as could be on camera of all that went into getting the baby.

First and only baby story that made me tear up.



mommaU4--I think often times it is for the protection of the kids. We have neighbors who adopted a little girl at birth from Costa Rica. Then spent the next 2 years traveling back and forth (1 parent alwasy stayed) b/c of the government red tape. The babies are not wanted by their parents, but in this particular country, they are not that unwanted that the government lets them go without every little detail looked over about 500 times to ensure that the child is going to a safe environment and won't end up on the black market or in worse conditions from where they came.

From the baby story episode I saw--it seems the orphanage donations must be a pretty customary/mandatory practice as that was china and kdibattista is adopting from Kazakhstan. I think that is a good thing--like a Pay it Forward concept.

 

[TiggerTails57]

As an adoptive mom myself.......you really can't put a price on the joy of having a family.
However a lot of these countries have children with special needs who may never be adopted, since most people want the perfect child. These children may need a lifetime care in their birth country......That is where alot of the $$$$ goes.
Some of the people who questioned us when we were adopting our 'special needs' daughter would not bat an eye about sinking $30.000 on a new car!

 

[Sandy22]

Among other fees, I have to pay for:

-immigration fees (visa, passport)
-travel fees for child
-escort fees
-translation fees
-notary fees
-my lawyer fees
-orphanage lawyer fees
-homestudy fees
-agency fees (a non-profit agency)
-the largest amout is orphanage fees
(to feed, clothe and medically care for your child - while it's a large amount it comes out to cheaper than what a daycare would cost)

 

[mommaU4]

Hmmm.... I guess it just goes to show how little I know about the whole process. I just assumed that it would actually be easier to adopt from a foreign country because with the conditions being what they are in some places, they'd want the kids out of there and into good homes as fast as possible.

I didn't even think about having to make sure that the people adopting them were not going to be bringing them into even worse conditions than what they were in. Too bad. In all this red tape it seems like the kids are the ones who suffer.

Oh and C.Ann about the kids in Tennessee I thought it was so bizarre that this was the case. And I know it's true because it's family members who adopted these kids. I just don't get why once they are yours you should continue to recieve payments for them? It would feel weird to me, but that was the deal they worked out. I can't say too much because it is family.

 

[kdibattista]

---------------------

Tennessee - huh? That's interesting..

As for the international adoptions, look at the figures that were quoted above and how high just the agency fee alone was.. And contrary to what some people may believe not "every" country is thrilled with the idea of Americans adopting their children.. I remember reading an article about it one time and there were at least two countries named but of course I was having one of my "senior moments" and I can't remember which ones they were..

In Kazakhstan the law is that the baby must have no contact with the birth family for 6 months before being able to be adopted internationally. If any member of the birth family visits the child, the 6 month period starts again. There are many families who will intentionally visit the child every 5 months so the child will not be adopted. They would rather the child be in an orphanage with bare minimun then given up to a family who would love them.

 

[pearlieq]

Domestic adoptions for a healthy caucasian infant are just as high or higher. I believe most goes to agency fees, and legal and medical expenses.

 

[scubamouse]

I have some questions about adoption that maybe someone can answer for me. I didn't read all of the other thread so if they were answered in that thread I apoplogize.

The other poster said she needed $30,000 to adopt her child. Why is it so expensive? Where does all the money go? If there are all these kids that need homes and the only thing stopping most people is the cost, why is there such a high cost? Wouldn't it be better to lower the cost and let the kids be adopted and out of the care of the state or whoever is currently footing the bill?

These questions may seem naive but I don't know anything about the whole process.
I have another question too.

I know a couple who used to do foster care. They got paid monthly to care for these 2 children. Then they adopted them and I assumed the money stopped because they were now their kids. But I was wrong. They continue to get over $1500 a month for these kids. Why? Why should they get anything once they've made the decision to adopt them?

A lot of the cost of int'l adoption comes from travel and donations to the orphanage. We were able to save a ton on travel by using miles and getting hotel discounts and i tell everyone about this so hopefully they can lower their costs too.

After TTC for over 2 years we wanted to be parents NOW and we wanted to parent an infant. I know how horribly selfish of us to want to experience ALL of a child's life! Imagine the nerve to hope to have as much of the experience that bio parents have! in case it's not obvious that is dripping w/sarcasm but hopefully you get my point

The most reliable way for us to do that was to go int'l. yes it's cheaper to do it in the US (sometimes) but it might take a month or it might take 5 years to be picked as adoptive parents. and as someone who was often last picked for team sports I hated the notion of picked by someone and having to market myself as a prospective parent. I also knew I wouldn't be able to handle the loss of a failed adoption. So ironically, int'l adoption was more reliable. We were fortunate enough not to have to worry about how we'd afford it.

I think my comment on the other thread was misconstrued. When I say adoption cures childlessness not IF, I mean just that. For some people having a biological connection with a child is paramount and adoption won't cure that. If you want to be a parent first and focus on biology not at all, adoption is a great option. I've done both and wouldn't trade either of my kids for anything!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

In Kazakhstan the law is that the baby must have no contact with the birth family for 6 months before being able to be adopted internationally. If any member of the birth family visits the child, the 6 month period starts again. There are many families who will intentionally visit the child every 5 months so the child will not be adopted. They would rather the child be in an orphanage with bare minimun then given up to a family who would love them.

so wrong

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I've done both and wouldn't trade either of my kids for anything!

And beautiful sweetie pies they are!

 

[Cindyluwho]

Domestic adoptions for a healthy caucasian infant are just as high or higher. I believe most goes to agency fees, and legal and medical expenses.

Thank you for pointing that out. The only real difference is the airfare. As far as parents still receiving $$ after a US adoption; I know that in Utah if you adopt a special needs child the state pays you a monthly stipend to cover counseling, special education, medical, etc. They actually still have orphanages in Utah, my cousin & her DH have adopted 2 special needs children from a "home". There is very little abortion in the state and more children than can be adopted out. Last time my cousin checked there were several hundred infants available and about 600 older kids. The do not adopt to out of state families, though, unless they are Mormon. Unless the #s get real high, then they'll allow out of staters (non-mormon) to adopt.

 

[mommaU4]

I just wanted to say good luck to kdibattista and to any one else who is trying to adopt. I didn't post on the other thread nor did I read all the posts because it seemed to take a kind of nasty turn. But I think it's great that you are all putting forth the money and the energy to do this. I never realized how much was involved. What a roller coaster. Good luck to you all and hopefully it will all be worth it when you finally have that child you've always wanted.

And no matter how many times it's explained to me I doubt I'll ever understand how they can say there are so many children who need a home and then turn around and make it so difficult/costly/trying for caring people to provide them with one.

 

[kdibattista]

so wrong

I wish it were

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I wish it were

I was saying the situation described was wrong.

(just clarifying I wasn't saying you were wrong)

 

[kdibattista]

I was saying the situation described was wrong.

(just clarifying I wasn't saying you were wrong)

I got it... come on, a girl can only misunderstand so much in one night