Inspired by Spanking Thread

[sunni]

There is no way I would allow a school official to decide if my child were to be paddled or not, or to administer one. That is not their job.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I graduated from high school in 1996. Paddling was still going strong then. I think they still should in some circumstances. I know it curved a lot of bad behavior when I was in elementary school and such.

Anyhoo, I don't have kids so my opinion really doesn't matter.

 

[shortbun]

To the OP-I'd be moving my child, where in the world are you? Poorly lit unsupervised rooms for young children or the paddle? Sounds like a Dickens novel. Get out of there.

 

[shortbun]

Alas, here in Texas, the Dark Ages flourish!

In our school district, you have to send a note saying they are not allowed to paddle. I don't know if anyone in the school actually has been paddled though.

I was also treated to a classic "boys will be boys" lecture when I complained that a boy in my daughters class had followed her home from school, throwing rocks at her. The principal very kindly explained to me that this boy (who was 9, and a well known discipline problem) just "thought she was cute" and needed to be directed to more appropriate ways of showing his interest.

Awful! Get your daughter out of there! For a principal to voice that, well it's just inexcusable and so unprofessional it scares me for your daughter's education.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

God help the first person to ever lay their hand on my child. I would not be mentally responsible for what I would do.

I hear ya! If somebody struck my daughter, I think I would lose every bit of self-control in me. I don't get it. It's illegal to hit another adult, but you can hit a child with a paddle?

 

[bajanswife]

Corporal punishment in schools is legal in Barbados, but the private school I send my kids to doesn't believe in it and therefore doesn't use it. The school gets concerned if parents use it at home a lot, because they advocate consistency at school and home (wherever possible) so that kids know what to expect. Our school is a community, and parents and teachers work together a lot.

 

[live4christp1]

When my DS first moved to the elementary building from the kindergarden building (1st grade) he , being the strong willed child that he is, started the year with testing the limits of his new teacher. After several days of notes home and phone calls I finally told her that DS could be made to walk the fence every day for the rest of the year, his tokens taken away (which he thought was pointless for cheap little quarter machine toys) for bad behavior, etc. and he wouldn't change his behavior until a real punishment was administered. Told her next time to send him to the principal and have him paddled or since I am only 5 minutes away to call me and I'd come paddle him myself. Needless to say, a few days later I get a phone call, tell boss I'll be right back, drive over to the school, borrow teachers paddle, took him to the office, paddled him 3 swats on the behind, took him back to class. The teacher (who by the way is a veteran teacher and has teenagers herself) was probably as upset as DS was that he got a spanking. She took him aside and told him how much she loved him and what a sweet and kind spirit he had but that he had to behave in class and not be disruptive. That she knew that I loved him and wanted him to have the best education possible, etc.

Never ever have had any more problems with DS at school. Being a strong willed child, testing the limits, in his mind it just had to be reinforced that if you do this, it equals this and this is not fun. He didn't mind the walking around the fence in recess (standard punishment) and would have had to the entire year had I not gone and paddled him.

If he did something that merited a paddling, I wouldn't have a problem with his teacher or principal paddling him on the bottom and he knows that if that is ever the case he will most likely get another when he gets home.

Wanted to add, understanding a child's personality goes a long way in what type discipline they will respond too. In DS case, talking to his friends when he should be working outweighed the punishment of walking the fence or having his token taken away.........they didn't cause him enough physical discomfort as the fun he was having chatting with his buddy, etc. When it was reinforced that you will be spanked for the continued behavior the physical discomfort aspect changed and so did his behavior.

 

[bajanswife]

There is no way I would allow a school official to decide if my child were to be paddled or not, or to administer one. That is not their job.

Not that I think any kid should be paddled, but I do think discipline IS the teacher's job as well - they've got the kid all day, they need to teach good behaviour as well as ABCs! They need to maintain order somehow so that the other kids can learn, even the troublemaker doesn't want to. BTW: I personally don't think the paddle is anyone's job, teacher or parent.

Does anyone else see the problem where many kids are still routinely corporally punished at home, but not at school? If spanking is the only "big gun" in someone's home, how does a teacher deal with that child at school when he/she can't use that "big gun" on the child? I see this as a huge problem. Not sure how to solve it, though.

What about this thought: if a parent thinks that paddling a child is an appropriate punishment for major wrongdoing, then why can't the school administer it too? Isn't that hypocritical to expect them not to? A paddling is a paddling, is it not? Yes, there is a chance the school won't do it "right" (and will maybe hit too hard, or for too minor an offence). But if a child is used to being spanked, and now that threat is no longer there at school, it can be tough to keep order in the classroom. The parents really have to get involved and communicate with the school, and be sure to administer punishment at home for school offences.

Just throwing some stuff out there. I don't think this is an easy issue at all.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I was joking about spanking my neice, the four year old, and she said that "spanking is against the law". It turns out that it really is in Virginia!!! Good girl, she is so smart!

 

[hokiefan33]

I say let the schools spank them if they feel it's warranted. I would have no problem with them doing it to my kids if they were out of line enough to deserve it. If that were the case, what they got at school would be light compared to what they got from me when I got home and found out about it.

We're easy on our kids when it comes to discipline (we don't want to hurt little Johnny's or Suzy's feelings, after all), but then we wonder why they grow up and become terrors in their teens, or in their early adult years. Hmmm.....

 

[christinadei]

I got a paddling one time in high school, but it was my choice, Ididn't want ISS. I can't remember what I did. I think that they ahve since stopped it. (about 8 years ago or so). I know before in order to do it, they had to ahav ea parents permission.

 

[sunni]

What about this thought: if a parent thinks that paddling a child is an appropriate punishment for major wrongdoing, then why can't the school administer it too? Isn't that hypocritical to expect them not to? A paddling is a paddling, is it not? Yes, there is a chance the school won't do it "right" (and will maybe hit too hard, or for too minor an offence). But if a child is used to being spanked, and now that threat is no longer there at school, it can be tough to keep order in the classroom. The parents really have to get involved and communicate with the school, and be sure to administer punishment at home for school offences.

Just throwing some stuff out there. I don't think this is an easy issue at all.

A spanking should be administered by the parent not a school official for several reasons:
A child should be able to trust the person administering the spanking and know that they are loved and safe, not in danger.
Teachers and school staff have their favorites, I've seen it. Some kids get away with things others would not.
There are kids that are more manipulative and set others up to take the fall.
There are kids whose parents are VIPs in comparison to the other parents and they are handled with kid gloves.
While the overall rules stay the same, each teacher has different expectations of behavior the kids have to adjust to on a yearly basis (sometimes daily if they switch classes). One year for fourth grade, my DDs class went through 4 different teachers... a very disrupted class.

 

[CajunDixie]

I say let the schools spank them if they feel it's warranted. I would have no problem with them doing it to my kids if they were out of line enough to deserve it.

But what behavior would warrant it? He made a rude comment about a girl to a classmate. He didn't hit anyone and he didn't swear.

 

[alabamaalan]

My daughters attend a private school where we submitted a note that we approved of corporal punishment if deemed necessary by the administration.

Although, technically they are allowed to spank, usually being sent to the principal's office is all that is necessary.

I may feel differently at a larger public school, but we are very involved with their school and know all of the faculty.

When I was in elementary and middle school, we were paddled for offfenses. There always had to be two teachers present, of course. I don't know if it was allowed in high school at that time or not. I believe most students were just sent to detention.

 

[bajanswife]

A spanking should be administered by the parent not a school official for several reasons:
A child should be able to trust the person administering the spanking and know that they are loved and safe, not in danger.
Teachers and school staff have their favorites, I've seen it. Some kids get away with things others would not.
There are kids that are more manipulative and set others up to take the fall.
There are kids whose parents are VIPs in comparison to the other parents and they are handled with kid gloves.
While the overall rules stay the same, each teacher has different expectations of behavior the kids have to adjust to on a yearly basis (sometimes daily if they switch classes). One year for fourth grade, my DDs class went through 4 different teachers... a very disrupted class.

Those are good points, but discipline is still a teacher's issue as well. I am very happy for them not to use corporal punishment on my kids, but it's not a problem for them because my kids aren't used to being under threat of physical punishment at home, and they respond to other means of discipline. I just wonder how teachers deal with kids who are routinely spanked. It can't be easy.

 

[sunni]

Those are good points, but discipline is still a teacher's issue as well. I am very happy for them not to use corporal punishment on my kids, but it's not a problem for them because my kids aren't used to being under threat of physical punishment at home, and they respond to other means of discipline. I just wonder how teachers deal with kids who are routinely spanked. It can't be easy.

Most (not all) children I know are better behaved for teachers, grandparents, and other parents than they are for their own parents. If a school cannot gain control of a child with or without the parents help (a good parent will deal with school issues at home), then the child should be kicked out of school. Let the parents take responsibility of finding another school, hiring a tutor, or homeschooling.

In some cases, like pre-k thru 1st grade, it might be a matter of the child not being ready for school with all the social skills they need. Being held back might be necessary.

 

[KimR]

Does anyone else see the problem where many kids are still routinely corporally punished at home, but not at school? If spanking is the only "big gun" in someone's home, how does a teacher deal with that child at school when he/she can't use that "big gun" on the child? I see this as a huge problem. Not sure how to solve it, though. at all.

I don't understand the point you are trying to make. Whether or not a child is spanked at home, the type of discipline the school uses is pretty much guaranteed to be different from what a parent would use anyway. While the teachers at our school can't paddle, they obviously can't take away the my child's allowance, TV privileges, or ground her either. But I can certainly do any or all of those things if a note is sent home. Besides, I don't know of many parents who still spank once their kids reach school age anyway.

 

[alliecats]

Slightly OT, but I went to Catholic school in California in the 80s. While we were getting ready for our 1st Communion, one of the girls in my class (this was 2nd grade) spit out the Host, and the nun saw it.
After Mass, the nun pulled up her skirt, pulled down her underwear, and spanked her BARE BOTTOM in front of all of us in the hall.