Inspired by many - How young is too young?

[HayGan]

Now personally, I think this IS what family time is about - spending my night's watching dd play sports, etc IF we weren't doing something like this what would we being doing @ home as a family??? Probably sitting watching t.v. which I'm afraid may be what the majority of folks would do if they weren't involved...we eat dinner together as a fam before we had out to pracitce/games & cheer her on & then her g'parents come & are involved as well...


The flip side to this is that YES you really need to start kids young 'cause that's when they learn the game /the rules/how to get along with others & its fun (no score kept in the first year or so)...BUT by the time these kids are 7 or 8 they are really good @ the sport (often) & if you wait that long to put your child in they will be behind, not knowing the rules of the game, & just not having the experience & that's no fun.....

As far as travel ball/select teams/competetions that's a whole nuther issue - I'm talking about just plain ole rec (city) league sports where there's not tons of pressure to always win (at least not @ the early ages)...

Our family time is actually spent playing these sports, watching these sports and learning about these sports. That is certainly how DH and I learned. Neither one of us played a sport before the age of 6 and we both did extremely well at sports. DH went to college for free by playing football and I had several scholarship offers for softball.

I somewhat disagree with the statement that there is no pressure with sports at a younger age. I umpired many games of 5 year olds and the parents there seemed to put a tremendous amoutn of pressure on the players and coaches. I'm not saying this happens all the time but it does exist (there have been enough videos of parents/coaches fighting at little kid events to prove my point.)

 

[pixiemomma]

Now personally, I think this IS what family time is about - spending my night's watching dd play sports, etc IF we weren't doing something like this what would we being doing @ home as a family??? Probably sitting watching t.v. which I'm afraid may be what the majority of folks would do if they weren't involved...we eat dinner together as a fam before we had out to pracitce/games & cheer her on & then her g'parents come & are involved as well...

I completely agree with this. My 5 year old doesn't even play the gameboy when he is watching his brother on the ice. This is family time for us also.

 

[luvmyfam444]

Our family time is actually spent playing these sports, watching these sports and learning about these sports. That is certainly how DH and I learned. Neither one of us played a sport before the age of 6 and we both did extremely well at sports. DH went to college for free by playing football and I had several scholarship offers for softball.

I somewhat disagree with the statement that there is no pressure with sports at a younger age. I umpired many games of 5 year olds and the parents there seemed to put a tremendous amoutn of pressure on the players and coaches. I'm not saying this happens all the time but it does exist (there have been enough videos of parents/coaches fighting at little kid events to prove my point.)

Oh I agree with the age of 5 there being pressure ---I was meaning @ the age of 3!!!!

We tend to find out about the coaches beforehand as well to know if they are the hardnosed kind that ONLY want to win...

 

[mickeyboat]

Our family time is actually spent playing these sports, watching these sports and learning about these sports. That is certainly how DH and I learned. Neither one of us played a sport before the age of 6 and we both did extremely well at sports. DH went to college for free by playing football and I had several scholarship offers for softball.

I somewhat disagree with the statement that there is no pressure with sports at a younger age. I umpired many games of 5 year olds and the parents there seemed to put a tremendous amoutn of pressure on the players and coaches. I'm not saying this happens all the time but it does exist (there have been enough videos of parents/coaches fighting at little kid events to prove my point.)

Part of me agrees with you, but part of me doesn't. Sports aren't like they were when we were kids. They are starting competitively much earlier.

Denae

 

[buddy&wooz]

We've been all over the place with this. I have a rule- one sport per season (after suffering a spring of baseball and roller hockey) but with three kids even that gets crazy. I've put each of my kids in something, usually soccer first, at age 5 but we take it season by season after that. Currently my youngest (in 2nd grade) isn't in any sports, he wasn't having fun so neither were we, so I've "banned" him from any team sports till next year (he kept saying he wanted to join, then whined all season .)

I definitely don't think organized sports are necessary for every kid, but it is kinda fun to watch the really young ones.

 

[HayGan]

Part of me agrees with you, but part of me doesn't. Sports aren't like they were when we were kids. They are starting competitively much earlier.

Denae

Exactly my point! Why as a society are we pressuring our kids at such a young age? I think that alot of it has to do with the lucrative careers that professional athletes have as well as the drive that many parents have for their kids to be the best. I'm not saying it is all parents who have this attitude but I do think that there is a snowball effect happening and many parents get wrapped up in it.

 

[buddy&wooz]

I'm not saying it is all parents who have this attitude but I do think that there is a snowball effect happening and many parents get wrapped up in it.

I agree! The more aggressive parents push and the rest have to keep up or get left behind.

I feel for my middle son- he decided last spring that he wants to play baseball, after not playing since he was 8 (he's 13, 7th grade now -been playing soccer all these years.) He's going to try out for the middle school team, and he's been practicing, even went to a local baseball camp last summer (not one of those professional camps, just a local rec camp) to brush up on his skills. When I was a kid, you often heard of kids who hadn't played a sport before making the MS or HS team, they just weren't interested earlier. It just doesn't happen now...

But my son knows what he's up against- there are some really good players in his grade, and it's likely he won't make the team. He's going for it, though!

 

[mrsltg]

I completely agree with this. My 5 year old doesn't even play the gameboy when he is watching his brother on the ice. This is family time for us also.

I know you don't mean it like this, but your 5 year old has a Game Boy? And they are given the option of playing it while you're out? The idea is foreign to me - honestly. Not judgemental - I just don't see a 5 year old needing to have a portable game system. How about a book? Again, not you, pixiemomma, specifically, just in general. And as far as being at home watching tv if you weren't running somewhere- how about a game at home. How about tag in the backyard with the kids? How about reading together or talking? I honestly don't understand the reliance on media to entertain kids. Maybe it's just me????

Erin

 

[va32h]

My 5 year old doesn't even play the gameboy when he is watching his brother on the ice. This is family time for us also.

Okay, but just to play Devil's Advocate, what if there was no Game Boy at all, and the whole family was on the ice, playing a pick up game of hockey or just skating around together? Wouldn't that be just as much family time or just as enjoyable?

And I have to admit, the position that "well, they enjoy it" doesn't much factor into my decision making process. My kids would also enjoy M&M's for breakfast, staying up til midnight, and going to Disney World every month!

Time and money are also relevant things to consider. Activities cost money, and I would really have to weigh the benefits of an activity to one child vs the benefits to the family as a whole if those funds where spent elsewhwere.

As for time, Dh and I like to have dinner at home, together as a family, as often as possible. This is one of the reasons why dd10 only skates twice a week, so we only have to have a pick up supper twice a week. The weeks when she is in preparation for a competition, and practices several times a week, are stressful for all of us.

As for not being good enough for a team, if you wait to long to join, ds is 6, and his dad has taught him all the fundamentals of baseball; the rules, hitting, pitching, fielding, etc. Granted I am biased, but I think he's pretty good, and would have no problem fitting into a team a year or two from now.

 

[mrsltg]

Exactly my point! Why as a society are we pressuring our kids at such a young age? I think that alot of it has to do with the lucrative careers that professional athletes have as well as the drive that many parents have for their kids to be the best. I'm not saying it is all parents who have this attitude but I do think that there is a snowball effect happening and many parents get wrapped up in it.

I honestly believe it's the idea of living viacriosly through your kids. Maybe it's the idea of a comfy retirement? I don't know. I just know it's very disturbing.

Erin

 

[carone0318]

Hi, I'm one of those mom's whose kids have played sports from a young age. Dd is (9) and is a competitive gymnasts. She has been doing gymnastics now for almost 6 years. Gymnastics is one of those sports that if a child does it competitively, you start at a young age. She now goes 4 days a week and she also plays competitive soccer. Her dad coaches her in soccer, so he works the soccer schedule around the gym schedule. This works for us and our dd loves it. I am not a pushy "stage mom", but I support her and she is now at a point that she realizes that she has talent and her self-esteem is through the roof. Although competition can be seen in a bad light it is also a good thing. She has learned that she will not win everything and that if she feels that she had a good meet than that is good enough for her. It has brought a certain level of maturity (as mature as you can be for 9) to her. She can accept if she doesn't get a part in the play at school, because you don't always win. This happened this past Christmas, the school (parocial) sent a letter home saying if your child can not handle not getting a part in the play, please do not let them try out. Well dd tried, didn't get a part. But there was another little girl who also didn't get a part and cried until they finally gave her one. She has also learned to balance school work and sports and although she has to work very hard (school doesn't come too easy for her unfortunately) she is an excellent student. One of main reasons for involvement also is for when she gets older (teenage years). I want her to have a good circle of friends, a great self-esteem so that she thinks so highly of herself that won't want to put drugs in her body or get involved with "shady" doings. Now onto my ds, he just turned 5. He is just completing his 1st yr of soccer. He is awesome at it. He is that kids that stands out when you watch him play. He is a natural lefty and he was scoring so many goals in games that we eventually had to tell him once he scored a certain amt of goals per game that he could only score with his right foot. Soccer is something that we live and breathe in our house. We Tivo and watch every Premier League game on tv. He knows all the teams, players and mimics games in our family room every night. He also has been practicing with his sister's U-10 for the past 2 years. I think the 2nd child tends to start sports or whatever at an earlier age than the first because they've watched the older one and have waited is some cases years to get their chance.

I am not saying that every child should play sports, but that is the case in our family. I do believe that you should expose your children to many types of activities so that they can find "their" thing. Something that as they get older can stand proud and say "I'm good at blank." Build their self-esteems so that when they become teenagers and mom and dad aren't as important and they are faced with choices, like drugs, sex, the bad things that come from boredom and numerous other things that I never want to think about, they will think too highly of themselves to get involved. I know sports won't save my kids, but I can also see how it and will benefit my child.

 

[mickeyboat]

Exactly my point! Why as a society are we pressuring our kids at such a young age? I think that alot of it has to do with the lucrative careers that professional athletes have as well as the drive that many parents have for their kids to be the best. I'm not saying it is all parents who have this attitude but I do think that there is a snowball effect happening and many parents get wrapped up in it.

My SIL has pushed her kids in soccer (they do enjoy it, though) because she really expects that both of her kids will get college scholarships for soccer.

It's a vicious cycle, and in order for your kids to even have the opportunity to play at the higher levels, they need to keep up with the kid whose parents are pushing them. The days are gone where anyone who wants to make the team, makes the team.

Denae

 

[pixiemomma]

I know you don't mean it like this, but your 5 year old has a Game Boy? And they are given the option of playing it while you're out? The idea is foreign to me - honestly. Not judgemental - I just don't see a 5 year old needing to have a portable game system. How about a book? Again, not you, pixiemomma, specifically, just in general. And as far as being at home watching tv if you weren't running somewhere- how about a game at home. How about tag in the backyard with the kids? How about reading together or talking? I honestly don't understand the reliance on media to entertain kids. Maybe it's just me????

Erin

Yeah, he has a gameboy so their must not be any books in the house. Thanks for the GOOD laugh!!!! Child services someone take them away from me, I give my son the option of playing his gameboy for an hour a week.

 

[MAKmom]

Better sooner than later. If you wait too long, the other kids in the sport will have been doing it for a couple of years and will have an edge. You might not think this matters, but it does.

I agree.

The important thing is to have balance in your life. Alot of kids have too many activities. I think the parents are hoping to give them a edge in life & it think its well intended.

DD9 would join everything if she could DD11 does not want to join anything. So I have them meet in the middle.

I think down time is important.

 

[pixiemomma]

Okay, but just to play Devil's Advocate, what if there was no Game Boy at all, and the whole family was on the ice, playing a pick up game of hockey or just skating around together? Wouldn't that be just as much family time or just as enjoyable?

Sorry but I'm not sure what you are getting at. We all do get out on the ice together once a week but not during a game or practice. Parents aren't allowed on the ice for those unless they have certification.

 

[LisaNJ25]

My son started at 5. First with T-Ball and than played soccer for a few years.

My daughter also started at age 5. She did Fall and Spring Soccer and also started Girl scouts. This year she joined dance and is trying t-ball out for the spring instead of soccer.

I also don't push activities on them. When they decide it is not fun anymore than they can stop. All I ask for them is to give it a try.

My son stopped soccer after 6th grade. It just got to competitive and he did not like it anymore.

 

[va32h]

Sorry but I'm not sure what you are getting at. We all do get out on the ice together once a week but not during a game or practice. Parents aren't allowed on the ice for those unless they have certification.

What I meant was that a child doesn't need to be enrolled in a specific, organized team in order to get the benefits of exercise, game play and family time. Our rink has public skating and drop in hockey, where anyone can just show up and sign in. Families can go to any park and play soccer or softball, or just plain tag. Kids can dance in the living room or the patio, or anywhere there's a flat surface and a boom box.

My SIL has pushed her kids in soccer (they do enjoy it, though) because she really expects that both of her kids will get college scholarships for soccer.

My brother and his wife spent $10K to $15K per year on their daughters' dance lessons and competitions, in the expectation that they could get dance scholarships. Neither did, and they are taking out student loans to pay for college. That $10K spent on dance could have been saved and invested, and then they wouldn't need a scholarship!

It's crazy.

 

[allison443]

When I was a kid, you often heard of kids who hadn't played a sport before making the MS or HS team, they just weren't interested earlier. It just doesn't happen now...

I agree with this...things have changed a lot! I also find that my girls have more opportunities for different activities than we had when we were young.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And I have to admit, the position that "well, they enjoy it" doesn't much factor into my decision making process. My kids would also enjoy M&M's for breakfast, staying up til midnight, and going to Disney World every month!

Time and money are also relevant things to consider. Activities cost money, and I would really have to weigh the benefits of an activity to one child vs the benefits to the family as a whole if those funds where spent elsewhwere.

As for time, Dh and I like to have dinner at home, together as a family, as often as possible. This is one of the reasons why dd10 only skates twice a week, so we only have to have a pick up supper twice a week. The weeks when she is in preparation for a competition, and practices several times a week, are stressful for all of us.

Dance is in the afternoons--it costs me $31 per month per child during the dance year. Not too shabby---and the family time, vacations, and dinners do not suffer for it.

IF they enjoy it it is good enough reason for me--they aren't loaded class time in hopes that they will be a Rockette or anything. (they'd be too short anyway).


And whoever equated it to M&M's and WDW vacations?? Comparing a physical activity to overconsumption of junk food? Makes no sense to me.

 

[pixiemomma]

What I meant was that a child doesn't need to be enrolled in a specific, organized team in order to get the benefits of exercise, game play and family time. Our rink has public skating and drop in hockey, where anyone can just show up and sign in. Families can go to any park and play soccer or softball, or just plain tag. Kids can dance in the living room or the patio, or anywhere there's a flat surface and a boom box.

It is called stick and puck.

I don't understand what your point is because no one is implying that organized sports are the only way for a child to be active or participate in any such activity. I feel a few people have taken this thread off topic and are being quite argumentative.