Inlaws found new way to hurt me...

[RUDisney]

I had a headache from Friday afternoon until Easter Sunday at 3:30 p.m. That was when we got home from the 2 horrible hours we spent at my MIL's house. It was an Easter Miracle!

We try to plan to be the last ones to arrive at MIL's house every holiday. We're usually the first to leave, too. Yesterday, we arrived first. UGH!

I got the cold shoulder in the kitchen, so I went into the living room with the kids. We watched Disney and opened their baskets. Everyone else remained in the kitchen, including my DH.

This was the good part of the day. We got called into the kitchen. There was no diet soda, as was promised to my DH after Christmas. We are not allowed to bring wine into MIL's house, so I drank water.

Everything that was served was high carb. There was lasagna, spaghetti, baked yams and au gratin potatoes. The salad was dressed with a high sugar dressing.

I asked if there was ham. It was still in the oven, as it wasn't heated through yet. I took some pieces of ham only to find out that it was from Heavenly Ham. They call it heavenly, and make it so by injecting it with tons of sugar. So, I had two small pieces of ham with my water. I went to sit by my DH at the table, but no one brought up the extra folding chairs. DH didn't notice that everyone but me had a seat. I ate at the counter, then went back to the living room with the kids.

Finally, my DH came in and I asked if we could leave since I was starving. My DS asked if he could take a chocolate truck out of a basket that MIL got from her brother's business. She told him no, and that if he wanted it, he'd have to come back tomorrow. As if...

So, other than DS's communion party... that will be at our house in May... that they probably won't come to anyway... I don't have to see these unhappy, evil mongers until Thanksgiving!

So, anyone else have any Easter IL stories?

 

[Stepharoonie!]

I'm so sorry you didn't have a good Easter...why do they act that way?

 

[RUDisney]

Actually, Easter was great... from 3:30 on.

They act horribly around me because I make their son/brother happy and our kids are happy. They can't stand anything that isn't slathered in gloom and doom.

None of them acknowledged our 10th anniversary, that was on Friday. Nor did they tell my DD, or my DS how nice they looked.

They wish we'd divorce so they could have my DH all to themselves. Too bad for them. We're very happy as a family.

 

[debster812]

I'm so sorry. I am always so as to why people act this way.

I am so very blessed to have ILs whom I like, and who like me back (I think??).

to you and those gorgeous kiddos!

 

[Stepharoonie!]

I am so sorry that they have to act that way

Happy 10th Anniversary though!! And be proud of those two kids of yours...they look like sweeties!!

 

[minniecarousel]

ACH! Families! Sometimes.....

sorry you have to put up with that!

One brother and his family consistently don't show up for holiday dinners at my house. It sux, 'cause my DM lives with us and she can't understand why her first-born son doesn't come around to see her - I don't know why either! Other than him, my family does OK (I sure wish my sis-in-law would keep a better "eye" on her 6-year-old triplets tho!)

 

[Robinrs]

Wow, this is ugly...

Have you ever talked to them about this animosity? I'll never understand when people are outwardly nasty without conversation.

This kind of anger is rarely based on just envy. There's a whole lot more involved.

I hope it gets better, and maybe you can be the reason for that.

My ex-inlaws I speak to and LOVE, in fact my ex SIL is my boss! It's HIM I can live without!

 

[joshsmom]

I know that it's difficult to realize that you are SO blessed to have a happy marriage and VERY cute kids when your ILs act so ugly, but it sounds like they need ALOT of prayers. They must truly have horrible lives. Thank God yours is not and thank God you only have to see them a few times a year!!! God bless on your 10th Anniversary (belated, but still blessings for another wonderful 80 years together!!!!!)

 

[faithinkarma]

I'm sorry also. It is so difficult to deal with people who go out of their way to make you miserable. I had the same problem with my first set of inlaws. And for 30 years I never gave up trying to get them to accept me. Man, was I dumb !!!!!

Life is so short. And the loss is definitely theirs.

If it's any consolation, I can promise that what you are living through will make you a great mother-in-law yourself. Which means your won lovely kids will stay close to you forever.

 

[keerymom]

I'm in the exact same boat as you are, and it's getting harder and harder not to just blow my stack. Does your DH ever say or do anything about it? Sometimes I sympathize with my DH, because I understand he's in a difficult postion. But, sometimes I get very upset that while I am basically expected to be the bigger person and just except their incredibly rude and disrespectful behavior, their behavior is ignored because "they'll never change anyway".

 

[buzzlady]

Originally posted by RUDisney
There was no diet soda, as was promised to my DH after Christmas. We are not allowed to bring wine into MIL's house, so I drank water.

Everything that was served was high carb. There was lasagna, spaghetti, baked yams and au gratin potatoes. The salad was dressed with a high sugar dressing.

I asked if there was ham. It was still in the oven, as it wasn't heated through yet. I took some pieces of ham only to find out that it was from Heavenly Ham. They call it heavenly, and make it so by injecting it with tons of sugar. So, I had two small pieces of ham with my water. I went to sit by my DH at the table, but no one brought up the extra folding chairs. DH didn't notice that everyone but me had a seat. I ate at the counter, then went back to the living room with the kids.

So, other than DS's communion party... that will be at our house in May... that they probably won't come to anyway... I don't have to see these unhappy, evil mongers until Thanksgiving!

So, anyone else have any Easter IL stories?

IF you HAVE to go back at Thanksgiving, if I were you, I would make myself up a platter from home of the foods that you can have and bring myself a few cans of diet soda.

Luckily I don't have any problems with IL.

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by keerymom
I'm in the exact same boat as you are, and it's getting harder and harder not to just blow my stack. Does your DH ever say or do anything about it? Sometimes I sympathize with my DH, because I understand he's in a difficult postion. But, sometimes I get very upset that while I am basically expected to be the bigger person and just except their incredibly rude and disrespectful behavior, their behavior is ignored because "they'll never change anyway".

OMG! This is EXACTLY the way that it is. He stood up to his mother once after an email that was sent by his sister. Everything that his sister said, his mother justified. It was wonderful watching him defend me. Did anything change? Nope. I guess that after growing up in a dysfunctional family, you believe that it is normal, even though the life you lead as an adult is a complete 180 from where you came.

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by buzzlady
IF you HAVE to go back at Thanksgiving, if I were you, I would make myself up a platter from home of the foods that you can have and bring myself a few cans of diet soda.

Luckily I don't have any problems with IL.

I'll be making the same suggestion that I always make. "Why don't we have our own dinner in our house and then have my parents and your mother over for dessert?" One of these years it's going to fly.

 

[Kallison]

Look at it this way -- you can take notes on how not to behave when you become a MIL.

 

[Beauty]

I agree with Karen, to heck with them bring your own things from home. Thats so selfish, I know how hard dieting can be!!

We don't get along with my DH's mother and step dad and by WE I mean myself and DH. He cut ties with them completly about 5 years ago. Its not sad though, its all for the BEST and we couldn't be happier that way. His ""parents"" if you can even call them that are just not the type people anyone should have to be around.

Thankfully my DH loves my mother, as do I....she lives with us and is a super person and mother to both of us.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this! Does your DH get it?

 

[mom2boys]

After YEARS of manipulation & rude behavior on the part of DH's one sister, his brother & brother's wife we have all but cut them out of our lives. It was hard on our kids at first but we are so much happier. These people are poison - DH knew it all along. I was the one that pushed attending the family gatherings. Fortuately he does have one sister who is a wonderful human being.

 

[RUDisney]

Nope, Beauty. He doesn't get it.

The thing that was surprising about Easter is that no one fought. Usually, one of his brother's storms in, his wife's eyes all red, and he stays in one of the bedrooms until he builds up enough steam to explode. Luckily, we've had the kids home before this has happened. One of his sisters usually causes some sort of trouble, too. If she doesn't get to sit where she wants at the table, she'll storm out. If everyone doesn't dote on her, she storms out.

Fun family. Don't you think?

I just hate that the kids have to be part of the dysfunction. I want them to have the childhood that I had. It was very happy. Brady Bunch happy. Huxtable happy. When my siblings all get together, everyone genuinely enjoys each other's company. THAT is what holidays are supposed to be about. They are NOT supposed to be about making other's uncomfortable and unhappy.

The kids and I usually have a discussion about why the adults act the way that they do and why they should strive to be different when they grow up.

 

[Robinrs]

Originally posted by Beauty
my DH's mother and step dad and by WE I mean myself and DH. He cut ties with them completly about 5 years ago. Its not sad though, its all for the BEST and we couldn't be happier that way. His ""parents"" if you can even call them that are just not the type people anyone should have to be around.

Yikes, Beth!! How sad.

I cannot imagine how bad a mother can be to provoke your husband to feel that way.

I pray for anyone who doesn't get along with their family. We are dealt the ones we have and marry into the others, it saddens me when people don't even TRY to get along.

I lost so many precious people in my family this past year I can't imagine spending living days with nastiness and animosity. It's just so sad.

 

[MelessaG]

I had the best MIL ever, until she passed away suddenly just a month after DD#1 was born. Somehow, FIL managed to 'replace' her with the most tactless, witless, meanest woman he could find. She told me at Christmas I should have "nipped in the bud," my fourth pregnancy, then went on to say "but since you decided to keep it, when can we expect THIS ONE." (the phrase "this one" sounded a lot like "abomination") She delights in comparing my children unfavorably to her grandchildren, and goes overboard to make sure DH and I feel unwelcome and uncomfortable in her house at all times. She's good at it too. We spent Easter, as usual, at my grandparents and had a wonderful time.
Sometimes I feel like I'm being 'punished' for something to have had such a wonderful MIL and to have lost her and (pretty much) FIL as well. She wants all his time devoted to her kids and grandkids, so we rarely see him. He did come over Sat., and seemed to enjoy seeing the little ones. In fact, he called our youngest DD by her name for the first time in my hearing. (she is named after MIL) Of course, he was quickly summoned home, she must have suspected he was bonding with our kids.
Sorry, I didn't mean to make this "all about me," I just wanted you to know I could relate. I've been feeling sad about MIL and what she would think if she knew how things were a lot lately, and I guess your post touched a nerve.

 

[MsDisney23]

Are you dieting or are you a Diabetic? I am not sure, but either way, you have the right to choose what foods that are suitable for you. I am a diabetic and MIL goes out of her way to provide diet soda, she even make's cake's, cookie's with Splenda. I feel so special that my MIL does these things just for me. The whole family is wonderful. However if I where in your situation, I would take my MIL out to lunch and have me a good old fashion sit down. Explain to her how you feel, that you are her DIL and not her enemy. That the two of share a common ground her son, and how much you love him. Nicely explain to her your special food needs, and be direct. Ask her if she has a problem with it? Offer to supply these items at family get together's. If she has a problem with it, well then I would be nice but direct and tell her that is her problem not yours, however that at any and all family gatherings you will see to it that sugar free foods are provided! But it back on her. Sounds like maybe MIL is battling over control, no way in hell would anyone keep me from any special food needs that I have. Oh hell no, not happening!!!!! In her house or mine. Nope Nope Nope. Hold your ground, and start now, do not let this continue.

Try to kill her with kindness! She will be floored. Oh heck if I ate what she served I would be in a diabetic coma! I just love my insulin pump and all my In-Laws. The best of luck to you hun.

Hug's, Kitty