Inlaws canceled.....now what?

[taylor5]

Since you wanted MIL to spend some time with your kids, why not take her instead of DN. That would be more fair to your SIL's other kids.

 

[PaDisney02]

Since you wanted MIL to spend some time with your kids, why not take her instead of DN. That would be more fair to your SIL's other kids.

I dont think my MIL will want to go. The only reason she was going is cuz my SIL needs help with the kids, she helps out with the kids everyday so she kind of has to go with to disney plus her and her daughter do everything together.

I have absolutly no problem with taking my neice, I have my niece very often, she is always sleeping over at my house and I take her practically everywhere with us (church, picnics, zoo, etc). I would feel bad leaving the other child out (the 4 yr old) but he goes to his dads house every other weekend, so we hardly ever see him anyway.

I feel silly/ashamed that I am thinking of not taking my niece with us just because of dining. But on the other hand I have to admit that basically my whole trip is based around dining because of free dining and the limited availablitly at the restraunts. I now have to break it to my SIL that i cant take her daughter to Disney with us because I cant fit her into my dining reservations. To the average person, who doesnt know much about disney (SIL), thats sounds dumb, but to someone who knows the importance of planning and having ADRs its understandable.

I just have to whats best for MY family and MY kids, even though I do feel bad for her and her kids. I agree, as does my hubby (her brother), that lending her the money is not a good idea. Thanks to all for helping me realize that!

 

[boltfans]

Do not worry about your ADRs at all. Just show up at the restaurants and when you check in and they say "Party of 4?" say "Sorry, no, it's 5." And that will be that. They will seat you and you won't lose any ADRs. I know this because we have done it before. A couple of years ago my husband, daughter and I went to WDW and at the last minute my BIL decided to join us. We didn't even think about the ADRs at the time, didn't even cross our minds for whatever reason, till the first meal with him when we checked in at the restaurant. We told them we had 1 extra person join at the last minute and they said "Not a problem."

And as far as downsizing goes, we were just in WDW last week and for some reason every one of our ADRs was booked for 6 people, but we're actually 4. We stayed in a concierge room in the Poly and had them book all of our ADRs and they knew we were only 4 people as they knew who was in our room, we had no family/friends with us, so it was just us. Everytime we checked in they asked if we were 6 and we said "No, 4" and that was that. Never was a problem, we were always seated without issue.

And finally, last year we went to WDW with a group of friends. Most of our ADRs were as a group, but a few meals we split up. Well one of those times, part of the group changed their park plans for the day and ended up needing a lunch ADR since they weren't where they planned to be. They went to the restaurant where we had an ADR, explained they were joining us (they got there before we did) and they were seated with us. We had to wait a bit, but it was crowded at that time anyway, so I am not sure it had anything to do with that. And in that case, we were initially a party of 6 and added 4 more so there were 10 of us. If they could accomodate 10 people, your 5th will not be an issue.

 

[Pumbaa_]

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! you didn't do this, yur SIL did. She made plans and didn't save up enough. SHe is disappointing her kids, not you

I would suggest sticking to your nuclear family for the trip. Your kids deserve 1 on 1 mom and dad time. Sometimes you have to take care of your family without worrying how someone else will feel. Wouldn't it be nice to have a week with just your kids and your husband? Don't they deserve it too?

Hope you have a wonderful time and leave the guilt at home, no room in hte suitcase

 

[JUJU814]

Do not worry about your ADRs at all. Just show up at the restaurants and when you check in and they say "Party of 4?" say "Sorry, no, it's 5." And that will be that. They will seat you and you won't lose any ADRs. I know this because we have done it before. A couple of years ago my husband, daughter and I went to WDW and at the last minute my BIL decided to join us. We didn't even think about the ADRs at the time, didn't even cross our minds for whatever reason, till the first meal with him when we checked in at the restaurant. We told them we had 1 extra person join at the last minute and they said "Not a problem."

And as far as downsizing goes, we were just in WDW last week and for some reason every one of our ADRs was booked for 6 people, but we're actually 4. We stayed in a concierge room in the Poly and had them book all of our ADRs and they knew we were only 4 people as they knew who was in our room, we had no family/friends with us, so it was just us. Everytime we checked in they asked if we were 6 and we said "No, 4" and that was that. Never was a problem, we were always seated without issue.

And finally, last year we went to WDW with a group of friends. Most of our ADRs were as a group, but a few meals we split up. Well one of those times, part of the group changed their park plans for the day and ended up needing a lunch ADR since they weren't where they planned to be. They went to the restaurant where we had an ADR, explained they were joining us (they got there before we did) and they were seated with us. We had to wait a bit, but it was crowded at that time anyway, so I am not sure it had anything to do with that. And in that case, we were initially a party of 6 and added 4 more so there were 10 of us. If they could accomodate 10 people, your 5th will not be an issue.

that's great that your experiences worked out so well! People need to be advised however, that just because one person gets accomodated in xyz situation, doesn't mean another will. I know this for a fact because I've had some exactly opposite experiences as yours! ESPECIALLY when it's during free dining week..they are not so flexible at all..it depends on when you go, who you get for a greeter, their MOOD (ask me how I know!) whether or not they will alter your party size. I've had ADRS for 9 and showed up with 7 and they would NOT seat us..we had to wait an extra 45 min. It was a last minute thing..2 in our party didn't feel well and decided last minute not to come. I didn't do it on purpose. I've also showed up with an extra person and been turned away. 50's Prime Time is the worst IMHO with these situations.

You really can't assume anything.

My experience has been frequently that if you go a few minutes before they open, often the restaurant will be able to seat you. They figure in for some walk ups...just show up EARLY.

 

[2forMe]

Do not worry about your ADRs at all. Just show up at the restaurants and when you check in and they say "Party of 4?" say "Sorry, no, it's 5." And that will be that. They will seat you and you won't lose any ADRs. I know this because we have done it before. A couple of years ago my husband, daughter and I went to WDW and at the last minute my BIL decided to join us. We didn't even think about the ADRs at the time, didn't even cross our minds for whatever reason, till the first meal with him when we checked in at the restaurant. We told them we had 1 extra person join at the last minute and they said "Not a problem."

And as far as downsizing goes, we were just in WDW last week and for some reason every one of our ADRs was booked for 6 people, but we're actually 4. We stayed in a concierge room in the Poly and had them book all of our ADRs and they knew we were only 4 people as they knew who was in our room, we had no family/friends with us, so it was just us. Everytime we checked in they asked if we were 6 and we said "No, 4" and that was that. Never was a problem, we were always seated without issue.

And finally, last year we went to WDW with a group of friends. Most of our ADRs were as a group, but a few meals we split up. Well one of those times, part of the group changed their park plans for the day and ended up needing a lunch ADR since they weren't where they planned to be. They went to the restaurant where we had an ADR, explained they were joining us (they got there before we did) and they were seated with us. We had to wait a bit, but it was crowded at that time anyway, so I am not sure it had anything to do with that. And in that case, we were initially a party of 6 and added 4 more so there were 10 of us. If they could accomodate 10 people, your 5th will not be an issue.

Yes, but in your situation you went from 3 to 4 people.. very easy to do as when you are seated for 3 it is at a 4 person table. Not the case when you are 5 people, you will be seated at a table for 6.. so it is very likely that there would not be space....

 

[Minnie]

do not feel guilty! You didn't do this, yur sil did. She made plans and didn't save up enough. She is disappointing her kids, not you

i would suggest sticking to your nuclear family for the trip. Your kids deserve 1 on 1 mom and dad time. Sometimes you have to take care of your family without worrying how someone else will feel. Wouldn't it be nice to have a week with just your kids and your husband? Don't they deserve it too?

Hope you have a wonderful time and leave the guilt at home, no room in hte suitcase

ita!

 

[boltfans]

Yes, but in your situation you went from 3 to 4 people.. very easy to do as when you are seated for 3 it is at a 4 person table. Not the case when you are 5 people, you will be seated at a table for 6.. so it is very likely that there would not be space....

I also went from 6 to 10, which meant adding another table entirely. Actually, we were at Sci-Fi so it was a whole additional car. They gave us 2 three-row cars right next to each other. That was in June when I swear there were a million people in WDW.

The other instance with 3 to 4 was over spring break a few years back. Yes, much easier, but again, it was packed so it's not like they had tons of tables. And our daughter was a year old so she was in a highchair so in some places that meant we were at a table for 2 with a highchair on the side (BIL wasn't there the whole trip, so before he came that was often the case).

And where we downsized, that was last week, the only week that they didn't offer the 4 for 3 deal, presumably since it was already pretty packed. Nothing like last June, but big lines at all the restaurants and downsizing was not an issue.

In the case where JuJu was downsizing from 9 to 7 and made to wait as a result, I would have just said "Forget it, the other 2 showed up, give us our table for 9". No way would I have waited that long without a complaint if the only reason was 2 members of my party got sick.

We have even been seated when we technically didn't have an ADR. In December, right before Christmas when it is also packed, we had the BC concierge book our meals and all were great except LTT for dinner right before MVMCP. We got there and they had no record of our ADR. We had the concierge printout with us with the ADR # on it and they typed that in and came up with something totally random for another family, at another restaurant, in another month! We were seated in less than 10 minutes. And as we all know, that is THE place to eat during those parties so we thought we were out of luck. The staff actually apologized to us for not finding it and making us wait.

Same trip they also had my mom's room booked at YC, not BC with us, and even though the resort was "booked" they somehow got her a room next to us. In most cases, rather than see a family upset, WDW tries to right the situation whenever possible.

Sometimes the CMs who make ADRs do make mistakes, so it's pretty easy to say "Hmm, must be a typo cause there sure are 5 of us!" and I really jsut don't see anyone getting turned away for that. Yes, I see some people have had issues, but I am willing to bet those are the rare exceptions. Disney CMs generally are pretty willing to please and when they see what appears to be a family of 5 (as in 3 kids, not like she's bringing an extra adult), they would likely assume human error and seat them. I would be willing to bet over the course of the trip there would be at most 1 instance where they had trouble, but I bet they would ultimately be seated at all the meals.

We'll also be there free dining week, 8/23-8/29, and we just re-booked with a 40% off code we got. We had our choice of literally every resort, every view. We already booked in December with a bounceback for CBR pirate room, std view and were able to get the same exact room/view for less just this week. They had ASMo, Pop, POR, CR, Poly, BC, AKL, WL available in various views, and those were the only ones we asked about, so I am sure they had others. That leads me to believe it is not going to be super crowded. We also booked our ADRs at the 90 day mark and got every place we wanted (party of 8 in most places), with the exception of Le Cellier being a weird time. Still the day and meal we wanted though.


Anyway, my point is that in years of dining changes in WDW, if my only hesitation for not bringing my niece was meal issues, I would forget those issues and take her on the trip. The odds of something going wrong are really pretty slim and I wouldn't sweat about it.

 

[5boyz]

I dont understand why they will not add your dn...I know you said why, but that is a crock. You would be at a table for 4 just put the high chair.

 

[WDW1st-timers]

Just thought that I would pop out to see how things worked out when you told her the news.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

How'd it go with your SIL?

 

[EthansMom]

Here's what I would do:

(1) I would try to rebook any reservations that were made for a party of 9 to a party of 5.

(2) I would tell SIL that you can take your niece but only if SIL pays for her park tix (by the cancellation date). If she doesn't pay for niece's ticket, then she doesn't really want your niece to go.

I would NOT loan them the money. They can't afford to go... putting them in a situation where they need to worry about repaying money doesn't help their financial situation.

I also would not take my niece if SIL can't find the money to pay for her ticket. Personally, it sounds like SIL is trying to get a free trip for her kid out of the deal and that would rub me the wrong way. In your shoes, I'd treat the niece the same as my own kids by giving her some spending money and buying treats, etc.. But I'd expect SIL to contribute to *some* of the expense. IMO, paying for the park tix is a reasonable expectation. If SIL tries to give you guilt, then she's exactly the kind of user that I peg her for.

 

[PaDisney02]

I told SIL that I can not take her daughter because of the dining situation. I'm not willing to take the chance of being turned down at a resturant cuz I have an extra person then my ADR is for.

My SIL was disapointed, she said its ok and she would talk to her daughter about. I told her I feel bad and I wanted to take her daughter but I can not risk being unable to use my TS credit because of being turned down with the extra person. And I'm not canceling my ADRs that I worked so hard to get because now there are no good ADRs left for me to switch to.

I have been seriously talking to my hubby about this....I feel that I can simply fix this whole situation very easily by lending her the money and telling her she must repay me by the date of our trip. That way we dont have to cancel anything and every1 is happy. My hubby (her bro) says she wont pay it back and it will end up putting a divide in our relationship and I'm dumb if i do it. She has major money issues and I knew she could not affrod disney when we book the trip but she said she could and she made her deposit.

I'm not ruining my trip with my family because of some1 elses mistake. I will go with my husband and our 2 kids and have a blast! Its just a shame this had to happen. Thanks for everyones advice!

 

[Kim1964]

I think you made the right decision. In the overall scheme of things, lending her money for a vacation isn't really helping her. It's showing her that she can mismanage money and still do great vacations AND it puts her in the position of having yet another debt to repay.

I hope you have a great trip!

 

[smwslp]

Just a thought...I don't know how much money your family typically spends on MIL, SIL and her family for birthdays/holidays etc. But could you explain to all of them that you will pay for them as their collective "present"...for a year or 2 or whatever it is that the amount of the trip comes. It is basically like a loan that you don't seem to think she will be able to pay back...but htem you don't have to buy them gifts for a while. When holidays come around, given them a picture of the trip or write a note about a favorite part of the trip you all enjoyed!

 

[HappyPeach]

I think you did the right thing. This was never your problem; it is your SIL's. She disappointed her kids, not you. You should not loan the money to her unless you're okay with never getting repaid. Enjoy your family time. Do not feel guilty... it's a wasted emotion.

 

[Avonlady1001]

I told SIL that I can not take her daughter because of the dining situation. I'm not willing to take the chance of being turned down at a resturant cuz I have an extra person then my ADR is for.

My SIL was disapointed, she said its ok and she would talk to her daughter about. I told her I feel bad and I wanted to take her daughter but I can not risk being unable to use my TS credit because of being turned down with the extra person. And I'm not canceling my ADRs that I worked so hard to get because now there are no good ADRs left for me to switch to.

I have been seriously talking to my hubby about this....I feel that I can simply fix this whole situation very easily by lending her the money and telling her she must repay me by the date of our trip. That way we dont have to cancel anything and every1 is happy. My hubby (her bro) says she wont pay it back and it will end up putting a divide in our relationship and I'm dumb if i do it. She has major money issues and I knew she could not affrod disney when we book the trip but she said she could and she made her deposit.

I'm not ruining my trip with my family because of some1 elses mistake. I will go with my husband and our 2 kids and have a blast! Its just a shame this had to happen. Thanks for everyones advice!

You said SIL would talk to her daughter about it? Did she already tell her you would take her? God, I hope not...she's already going to be crushed she wasn't going, but then to be told she was again w/ you, then to be told not?

I think you made the right decision too. It must've been a hard one to make...I know how much I hate disappointing my kids & my niece. But it's all on SIL...not on you. Enjoy your trip!!! You'll all have a fantastic magical trip!

 

[Skylarr29]

I wouldn't lend her the money. WDW is not a necessity by any means and I wouldn't want my family to suffer financially because she couldn't plan properly. It may sound harsh but I wouldn't bring the niece either. Not only will you have to change all of your plans I think it is unfair to the other children, the 4 year old will most certainly know that she got to go. When it comes to situations like this I would be looking out for my family first.

ETA: I see you already made a decision, good for you for sticking up for your family. I know it wasn't easy.

 

[5boyz]

So have you told your SIL yet and what was her response?

 

[PaDisney02]

You said SIL would talk to her daughter about it? Did she already tell her you would take her? God, I hope not...she's already going to be crushed she wasn't going, but then to be told she was again w/ you, then to be told not?

I think you made the right decision too. It must've been a hard one to make...I know how much I hate disappointing my kids & my niece. But it's all on SIL...not on you. Enjoy your trip!!! You'll all have a fantastic magical trip!

After my SIL told us she couldnt go she did talk to her daughter to see if she would be ok with just going with me and my family. Which she never should have done until it was a definite thing that i could add my neice to our reservation. You are all right....this is all on my SIL. She should feel bad for asking me to make all the arrangements for our trip and getting her kids excited about it and then taking it all away. I know people have money issues, we all do, but she should have never even brought up disney and agreed to go(and got her kids excited!) if not having the money was a possibility. I feel bad for her kids plus if I lend her the money for this she will probably start asking me to borrow money for other things just like she does to every1 else in the family, so I'm not going to. Thanks again!