In your wedding vows, did you include the phrase "obey"?

[TheGoofster]

POLL:
OK, first off I am NOT looking for a debate or a fight about this question. It is a simple yes or no question. I am not endorsing it either way, I am just curious. We went to a wedding on Saturday, and it got me thinking about several wedding type questions (which you might see in the next day or two).
So the question is:
In your wedding vows did you include the phrase "I promise to obey" (This is probably addressed more to the ladies, but it could go either way).
My wife and I had a very traditional wedding almost 17 years ago, and yes that phrase was a part of my wife's vows.
So what about you?

 

[DaisyD]

Nope. We got married 20 years and but used the word cherish in its place.

 

[mickeyboat]

To be perfectly honest, I don't remember. But I don't think so.

Denae

 

[Pam]

My DH and I were married 24.5 years ago and the word Obey was NOT in my vows.

It caused quite an uproar in our little Country Church! I was the first bride ever to not say that. (My great-grandfather built the Church in the 1930s.)

I just had (and still have) a problem that I was supposed to obey, but he wasn't. DH had no problem with me not saying that word because, as he explained it to our Pastor, "She'd just be lying if she said that she would!""

Everything else about our wedding was traditional.

 

[dhcoffey]

Yep, like Lynn, we got married 17 years ago and used the word cherish instead.

Heather

 

[KristinBelle]

No way. My parents have been married 39 years and they didn't use it either.

 

[r3ngels]

No... neither.

Obey makes it sound like I should walk 10 feet behind DH. I am not the obeying type, a little out spoken

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Nope. We were married by a female reverend and she told us up front that the word "obey" would never be used in the vows in her church.

 

[olena]

It wasn't part of the service and I didn't ask to have it put in.

 

[MosMom]

Nope!

I did go to a wedding though when I was about 19 where a friend of mine who was getting married (she was 17 or 18 at the time) said "Obey". It wasn't just obey though, she went on about obeying his authority etc. He didn't say it at all.

I was pretty shocked. I haven't heard from her since...wonder why?

 

[Mickey&Donald]

Oh NO we did not!

 

[piglet50]

and neither of us said it. no big deal to either one of us.

 

[rhanditresmom]

Nope, we used "cherish" instead.

 

[BuckNaked]

Nope. I told the priest flat out that I would not say it, and he laughed and said "No problem!"

He even joked about it during the ceremony, saying that I had been adamant about not saying obey, then went on to talk about Paul's letter, and the context and time in which it had been written.

 

[Chattyaholic]

No, neither of us said we would "obey" the other.

We are husband and wife, a partnership, neither of us has to obey the other.

 

[FSUGrad97]

No obey in our vows.

I have never liked it in vows because I think marriage is a partnership - not a subordinate relationship where one has more say than the other. That, and "obey" sounds like a command you give a dog.

 

[Princess89]

No, we didn't use it. It wasn't even an option either within our church!

 

[JVL1018]

Bahahahahahaha! No way!

I was married 15 years ago, traditional church, traditional ceremony and it wasn't even discussed-it is love honor and cherish if you get married in my church.

 

[Blondie]

We were married back in 1980. If they were saying it in the catholic church back then, my answer is yes. We didn't personalize our vows.

But I really have no recollection as I was so nervous! The only thing I remember is putting my DH's wedding band on the wrong finger!

 

[fan_of_small_world]

then [the priest] went on to talk about Paul's letter, and the context and time in which it had been written.

First, I'll say that neither DH nor I said obey. But, as BucNaked said, when reading the Biblical text, you need to keep in mind the context in which it was written. This would be true for all of the Bible, actually. One of my college majors was religion, and most of my classes focused on exegesis.

from Mirrian-Webster Online:

EXEGESIS: exposition, explanation; especially : an explanation or critical interpretation of a text

In religious studies, it basically means looking at the text in the context of the time and culture in which it was written and trying to determine what it meant at the time. How we interpret that text today is a whole different subject, LOL!

For the "obey" language, I'd have to go back to my old notes and textbooks to recall all of the points, but a lot of it had to do with the nature of socety at the time and the very different relationship between men and women than we have today.