In your wedding vows, did you include the phrase "obey"?

[helenabear]

Nope, but it wasn't part of the traditional ceremony written out either by the church we married in or the church we did our marriage prep in. I suspect the Church made a decision to get rid of it years ago (we were married in 2000). I'm sure if you wanted it in there they would add it though. We didn't personalize anything on ours so we just went with the standard text.

 

[Allison]

Yep, like Lynn, we got married 17 years ago and used the word cherish instead.

Heather

17 years for me too and NO obey.

 

[mickeyfan2]

We are getting ready to celebrate our 24th anniversary and we both promised to love and honor the other all the days of our lives. I would not say obey and DH knew I never would obey.

 

[liamsaunt]

No, we did not. We also had the priest remove all of the traditional references to having children.

 

[BuckNaked]

No, we did not. We also had the priest remove all of the traditional references to having children.

You were able to do that in a Catholic wedding? That part of the vows was non-negotiable when we got married.

 

[mickeyfan2]

You were able to do that in a Catholic wedding? That part of the vows was non-negotiable when we got married.

We were married in a Catholic Church (full Mass) in 1983 and we told the Priest no reference to any children, as we did not think we would be having any. We did promise to raise any kids that might come along Catholic, but that was the truth. I am a non-traditional person who does her own thing. No obey or children in our ceremony.

 

[VEGA]

POLL:
OK, first off I am NOT looking for a debate or a fight about this question. It is a simple yes or no question. I am not endorsing it either way, I am just curious. We went to a wedding on Saturday, and it got me thinking about several wedding type questions (which you might see in the next day or two).
So the question is:
In your wedding vows did you include the phrase "I promise to obey" (This is probably addressed more to the ladies, but it could go either way).
My wife and I had a very traditional wedding almost 17 years ago, and yes that phrase was a part of my wife's vows.
So what about you?

No I made sure the minister REMOVED that phrase from me and dh's wedding vows.

 

[UP Disney]

I told my fiance (now my DH of 25 years in June) that I would NOT say that in my vows before we met with the pastor. I don't even think they were in the ceremony that the pastor showed us.

My father also told my mother that he would not "give me away". He walked me down the aisle but the wording was changed to remove the giving away part.

 

[Kitty 34]

Nope, we used "cherish" instead.

That's what we used.

 

[walker409]

My husband and I married 9 years ago, and sadly, I was soooo nervous, I can't remember what we said!! I'm still surprised I didn't pass out!

 

[liamsaunt]

You were able to do that in a Catholic wedding? That part of the vows was non-negotiable when we got married.

I would guess the option of making changes varies by the priest. Our priest was willing to make the omission. It was a Catholic ceremony.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I took my vows seriously. Wouldn't have made vows I didn't think I could keep.

Obeying wasn't part of our vows. I'm not too good at obeying, so couldn't have promised that.

Course, I have days where I'm not cherishing very well, either.

I was married by a priest, too.

 

[Beach Club Bound]

We were married 16 years ago and we did not say the word obey. It was love,honor,and cherish for both of us.

 

[VictoriaT]

We were married in a Catholic Church (full Mass) in 1983 and we told the Priest no reference to any children, as we did not think we would be having any. We did promise to raise any kids that might come along Catholic, but that was the truth. I am a non-traditional person who does her own thing. No obey or children in our ceremony.

We were married 11 1/2 years ago, full Catholic Mass, NO OBEY, YES on the kid thing. We have three and that is enough for me, Thank you! I told DH I would only say OBEY if he did too! I have never obeyed anyone in my life, and I wasn't about to start then!

My SIL, married 8 1/2 years ago, did say OBEY. DH and I standing up in the ceremony just looked at each other with astonishment on our faces. Her DH said nothing about obey, AND he plays the male dominant role at their house very well. It is pretty scary that in this day and age, someone would use that and expect it! I felt bad for SIL in the beginning, but I figure now- She made her bed, let her lie in it! Thank GOD he is not my husband!!!

 

[PixiePop]

No...we used the word cherish.

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

DH and I ended up using vows we wrote rather than the traditional vows. We hadn't intended it that way; in our pre-marital counseling we'd written out a series of "promises" to each other - the things we wanted to be true of our relationship and our marriage - and we wanted to read those to each other during the ceremony and then do the traditional vows (but with no "obey", I'll add). The pastor who married us thought that was too much promising & vowing, so he would only let us do one of the two! Oh well. Just another reason to add to the list of why I wish we'd chosen a different pastor to do the ceremony...

But here's what we did say to each other (and I still like it!):

I promise:
to love you in thought, word, and deed
to cherish you as my beloved
to comfort you when you are sick or hurting
to support you in reaching your dreams
to celebrate the person God has made you
to encourage and exhort you to persue God's best
to share with you in hospitality and service
to persue a lifetime of learning together
I commit my body and heart to you for the rest of my life.

 

[Tazicket]

Yes, the word "obey" was included in my vows to my husband when we were married 3 1/2 years ago.

_______________
ETA: (Slightly off topic) Just wanted to add, we also included a promise to honor each other in conversations both public and private. I heard it in a friend's wedding and thought it was awesome.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Aww I thought I would be the first to say yes oddly enough I did say it. I wasn't expecting it to be honest and didn't even think about it being in the old fashion vows. At the time when I'm saying I will love, honor, cherish and then I stopped and looked around and I looked the preacher and I'm looking at Matt who is laughing hysterically and then the whole congregation is laughing. I just stood there and finally I said obey but under certain conditions; the preacher said that was good enough. The video of it is hilarious. I think it was a good 3 mins from the time I'm trying to say my vows till we moved on to the next part because of everyone laughing and my facial expression when i finally caught on what I was saying.

 

[DaisyD]

I would guess the option of making changes varies by the priest. Our priest was willing to make the omission. It was a Catholic ceremony.

My catholic church also allowed to sub Cherish for Obey.

 

[It's A Happy Day]

I did not say obey.....I did however make DH say it

Honestly, I cannot remember the exact wording of our ceremony but there were no obeys in it - it was done by a JP and the wording was about sharing and being a team/partnership.