Thanks to all of you for your kind words, support and encouragement. They mean the world to me. I was having a really bad day on Friday and it just all came pouring out.
I have spent the last three days getting lots of extra rest and trying to feel better with this cold I have. It is better - not totally gone, but a little better. I am still really tired and needing extra rest time, but hopefully by the end of the week I will be over the worst of it. During my long weekend, I thought long and hard about what I want to do with this lifestyle change. I am not going to quit, because I know the exercise is good for me and the dietary changes are helping. However, I think I bit off more than I could chew going into this. I started off too hard and too fast, and now I'm paying for it with these pesky illnesses. I have to remember that the damage from the celiac disease is still not completely repaired - I am still at least another year away from being totally recovered from it. So I am going to give myself a break, make some changes to my regimen based on how I feel and see what happens. First, I am going to scale back the exercise from six days a week to four - three days of training (with a rest day in between each one) and a longer distance walk on Sunday. Getting up at 5:00 a.m. five days a week and not getting back to bed until 10:00 or 11:00 each night is just not enough rest for me, so I am going to stay in bed until 6:00 on the days that I don't work out and sleep until about 7:30 on Saturday and Sunday unless I am ill (which is the latest I can "sleep in" and still meet my weekend obligations). I have also decided that the jogging is just too much pounding on my joints right now. When I come home from doing a C25K workout, my legs and hips are throbbing. And they continue to hurt through the day and into the night, which interferes with my sleep. So, in addition to scaling back the number of work outs I do each week, I am going to stop jogging and start my own version of power walking. I can't do the "official" power walking because I can't get the stride right, so I am just going to warm up and then walk as quickly as I can for the 30 minute interval I have available to me on the three "work out" days. Then on Sunday afternoons, while my DH is sleeping (he works nights), I am going out to the mall to do the longer "distance" walk. The goal there is to eventually be able to do three laps around the mall (approximately 3 miles) in 45 minutes. I confess I am still concerned about being able to do the 5K in May in the allotted time frame, but I have decided that it will do no one, least of all me, any good to train too hard and end up injured or chronically exhausted and sick. So I am just going to give it my best shot. I don't want to get swept, but if I do, it won't be the end of the world. At least I will have given it my best effort, and I will be with my family and friends during the attempt, so it will be okay no matter what happens. When I told my DH what I had decided about my exercise routine, he said that was really what he was saying when he said this was too much for me - not that I should quit altogether, but just that I should scale back to a pace and frequency that is right for me. So it's nice to know I didn't lose his support, and he is happy with my decision!
I have also recently realized that I have a bad habit of comparing myself negatively to other people who appear to be dealing with circumstances similar to mine, and then I feel bad when I can't do what they are doing. This is true in lots of areas of my life, not just exercise and weight loss, and I have decided that it is time to change my mindset and stop comparing myself to others. I don't need to waste my time and energy trying to measure up to what my perception of other people is. I just have to set my goals and measure up to them as best I can. The people who I have always envied - the ones who always have a clean house, are always organized and on top of everything, are always getting everything that needs to be done taken care of - are no longer my concern. For starters, no one is perfect - so even if it appears that way to me, it really isn't that way for them. Secondly, no two people are alike. I have pretty much been behind the eight ball with my health from the very beginning, and now that I know that, I have begun to understand that I haven't done so badly. It's a good bet that some of those people I have always aspired to be like would not have done as well if they had been battling chronic illness for years - but even that really isn't the point. The point is that I have to accept my limitations without allowing them to weigh me down. I have to do the best I can with the hand I have been dealt. And I have to learn to be happy with my own progress, without qualifying it by comparing it to what others are doing. I don't intend to use my health problems as an excuse to do nothing - I intend to find a reasonable way to move more and eat right, slowly adding in longer and/or more frequent work outs when I feel able, and then assessing how my body feels each time I add in more exercise. It will be a slow, but hopefully steady, progression for me and I will learn to be okay with moving forward slowly and not attempting to measure my success by comparing myself to others.
As for my dietary changes, I have decided to add in some low GI fruit to my meals and assess how that impacts my blood sugar. Hopefully it won't have a huge effect and I can get some variety into my meals that way. Also, I am going to have one meal a week (probably on Friday or Saturday night) where I eat a small portion of carbohydrate as part of the meal - some rice, a small potato, some gluten-free pasta, a few tortilla chips if we eat out at a Mexican restaurant - that sort of thing, since I don't think one meal a week will affect the overall blood sugar picture and it will help me get through the "baked chicken with broccoli and green beans" meals a little better, knowing that I will have something different on the weekend. I am going to continue monitoring my blood sugar to see what the numbers look like and if I see spikes, then I may have to bite the bullet and consult a nutritionist. But I am going to try it on my own first to see how it works out.
The last tweak I am going to make involves the scale. I find that my weight fluctuates based on what is happening with me that particular day. Some days I can weigh, after having a great week, and find I have gained weight. Other days (like today), I can weigh after having a not-so-great week and find I have lost. It is discouraging to feel that your efforts are not paying off when you have a gain, so I have decided that once this Biggest Loser challenge is done, I am going to stop weighing once a week and begin checking my weight once a month. I think this will help me focus on other areas (like my blood sugar levels, increasing my stamina and endurance when I exercise, a better energy level and feeling well overall) to measure success instead of just the numbers on the scale. My doctor told me at my last visit that she suspects I have thyroid issues, as many celiac patients do. She did some blood work and we will discuss that when I go back for a follow up. If she is correct, I will have to take medication for that - and that will have an impact on my weight, also. So I am still hoping for loads of weight to come off, but I don't think I can continue to quantify my success in terms of what the scale says - it is too easy for me to get discouraged if it doesn't say what I want it to!
Sorry for the length of my post, but this is a time of change (and hopefully growth) for me, and I wanted to write it all out while it is fresh in my mind. Thanks again to all of you for listening and taking the time to help me see the big picture.
Have a great day!
Susan
Now that's a nasty punishment! 
And I thought I was harsh grounding my DS on vacation week...
Got me motivated to get to the gym on this rainy day and I ran for 40 minutes and 3.5 miles! (At a turtle pace, mind you, but I am running! 
)
Anyone want to *lease* a child? He's typically not much trouble, good student, hard worker....just pay for his education, and he's all yours! 
Which colleges? If you want any advice, just let me know. (Professor by trade and having been in New England for the past 16 years, I am knowledgeable about most colleges around. I also went to three schools...different degrees...around New England.)Definitely get them out of your house or they will constantly be calling your name!
It is a beautiful and sunny day and all I want to do is play outside. 
I was practically jumping out of my chair! 
You really have made my day. 
I finished my heart tests today. All looks really good. I had an ultrasound last week at it was so interesting looking at the valves. I was light headed and had pains driving home, but I was thinking about the letter from the superintendent. 
Have a great week.
