In Search of My Body - Not the One I Ate, VOL 8...It's Never Too Late To Start Again!

[cathie1327]

Cathie--continue to hang in there! And while I am glad to hear that Carlos wants to think about things more and not just immediately call it quits, please start taking the steps to protect yourself (emotionally). Make sure that you have a support system in place. And you keep saying that you can't imagine a life or future without him. But ideally you should have your OWN goals and hopes and dreams for the future that are just about YOU. And I would say this to anyone in any position--whether single or long-time married or anywhere in between. You have to live your own life no matter what. So for example, what are your career goals? Because those should be the same regardless of being in a relationship, right? And there are just tons and tons of life goals that are dependent only on YOU and not the person you may be involved with. Focus on all of those issues and make sure that you have a plan for working toward your goals--those shouldn't change if you and Carlos go separate ways, right?

You're right. I do have things besides him. I guess the reason it seems elsewise sometimes is because my main goal in life has always been to be a wife and mom. I had no lofty dreams, I just wanted to be a wife and mom, and it didn't take long to figure out I wanted those things with Carlos. But, this is one thing we talked about last night (which I'll detail below) is that we need to be our own people, while still keeping our relationship a priority. I was actually pretty proud of myself Monday and yesterday, I forced myself to go to class and still focus on school, even though I wanted to just drive straight to the apartment so we could continue to talk things out. I do have goals, and I'm still striving for them, it's just so much more rewarding to have him beside me when I reach them, kwim? He's been one of the BIGGEST support systems when it comes to my weight loss and school, the only reason I lost anything last summer was because he pushed me to get out there and try new things and to push myself...I hiked up a mountain, which I'd never done before, because he pushed me. And it was amazing.

So I guess I'm saying, yeah, I have a life outside of him...and yeah it would carry on, it's just so much better with him being a part of those things

A quick drive by as my hair dries.

Way to go Seth!

Welcome Jessica.

I hate April Fool's Day because I'm gullible.

Dude. I'm totally gullible too. Every year I hide from all my coworkers on this day lol.

Okay, so we talked some more last night (this time I actually was able to REALLY talk and not just lose my mind as I did on Monday), and I feel a lot better about things, and so does he. We agreed that the spark is just gone. And both of us were realizing it, and neither of us did anything about it. It's hard to want to stay active in the relationship and do things for the other person when you feel like they are disinterested, and I realized through talking with him last night, that I have been pretty disconnected lately. My life is pretty busy, and I just quit making the time for him/us, and making the effort to show I still cared. I don't know why, but somewhere along the way, I just quit. And he did too, in turn, because it felt like I didn't care. Which made me more distant and it was just a cycle that kept going on up until this point.

We realized that we never do anythign anymore together, we never do anything stimulating, emotionally, intelectually, nothing that gets our minds going....just sit and watch tv. BLAH.

So he said that he does still want me and does love me, and thinks he's still in love with me, there's just not much making him excited about his love, which I totally understand cuz I've been there before.

And after all was said and done, things finally felt okay, and I wasn't so scared anymore. Which is big. I'm still pretty hurt, and he apologized for not handling it better, but I think that'll get better with time.

We cuddled...and yall.....I swear we made out like a couple of teenagers lol. We haven't been like that in a LONG LONG LONG time!

It feels like I have my Carlos back. And it feels so much better. I can breathe again

AND today I'm back on the no-more-fat-me train. Brought a good lunch, and going out for karaoke and dancing tonight with some friends. Only taking 10 bucks so I drink very little, and dancing all night!!!

Whew. That was long. Sorry guys!!!! Thanks so much for the support through this week, it's really helped to have somewhere to go and vent.

I hope everyone is having a FANTASTIC day!

 

[cathie1327]

Hello all,

This is my first posting here on the WISH boards. My name is Jessica , and I feel like I have been living in a fat suit for the past 8 years. I never was svelt as a teenager, but I wasn't the female version of the Michelin Man that I am now. I was a size 14-16 during my high school years and I was perfectly happy with that. I walked a LOT back then , and I ate a lot better then I did ending a month ago before I started the long back track.

I need to loose 100 pounds , or to be a size 16-18 again..Whichever come first is fine with me. I know this process is not going to happen overnight, or over 365 nights, but I am prepared to make the long journey back to me.

I have taken a registered dietitians approach..not some fad diet approach. This basically is cut your calories down. Eat more fiber, vegis, fruits, eat less bad fat, and sugar.
I have also followed the" Eat this not That" book for a basic guide for my grocery shopping.

As far as exercising goes, I have been really been trying to make some effort. I usually do 30-45 minutes on my Wii Fitness game 5 time a week, and since it has been so nice out my dh and I have been walking briskly in the park almost 2 miles each day.

I weighed myself about a week and a half ago, and since the beginning of March when I started the new healthy life style (I refuse to call it a diet, a diet is something you go on for 3 weeks to loose 10 pounds so you can go to a reunion, then once it is over you go back to eating Doritos on the couch). I have lost almost 14 pounds! I will weigh myself again at the end of next week.

I do feel better, and my pants are a lot looser around the hips, not the waist for some reason..Is that normal?

Anywho, thanks for letting me confide this personal journey with you all.

Welcome Jessica!!!!

I also have around 100 lbs to lose, adn I have to tell you, this is truly one of the best places for support I've found. THey'll support you in anything you do, even things not weight-loss related. Can't find a better group than these ladies

 

[jekajekalynn]

Just came back from walking, and it is such a beautiful day today. We're getting out and walking whilst we can, because its gonna be chilly and raining starting the middle of next week.
I can fully understand why Michigan is one of the most heaviest states, we hardly have ANY good weather during the year. We only have like 2-4 months out of the year that isn't gray and cold. My dh and I are seriously going to move to Florida once my college stuff is done. We both fell in love with the state visiting my dm there (not to mention its proximity to WDW lol).

I am thinking of getting some sort of cardio stepper thing for when it's too awful outside to walk to supplement my Wii exercising . Anyone have any recommendations of some good (and somewhat cheap) cardio equipment? (steppers, or anything under 100 dollars) tia!

 

[AKASnowWhite]

So, no taxes today (bumped to tomorrow) but more time in my parents' basement.

Oy. A different kind of torment.

Nancy, I am sorry if you have said this before, but is your son in the service.

He is currently a freshman cadet in college, at a military school and yes, contracted with the Army. When his schooling is complete in 4 years, he will be obligated to give the Army their time. From there, he'll have to decide whether or not to make it a career.

My life is pretty busy, and I just quit making the time for him/us, and making the effort to show I still cared. I don't know why, but somewhere along the way, I just quit. And he did too, in turn, because it felt like I didn't care. Which made me more distant and it was just a cycle that kept going on up until this point.

You guys are still really young. And started dating even younger! It's natural and normal that you both are going to grow and change in a multitude of ways. Some people grow along the same track, and others will have their tracks diverge. If you have things in common that the two of you share together that may help you to keep grounded and connected, and to remember just why you fell in love in the first place. I hope that you guys can find in your hearts truly what you want from life - because you each totally deserve happiness.

We're getting out and walking whilst we can, because its gonna be chilly and raining starting the middle of next week.


she said WHILST! Sorry to laugh Jessica - but that's one of our favorite words here!


I can fully understand why Michigan is one of the most heaviest states, we hardly have ANY good weather during the year.

<cringing with anticipation> My husband was a Spartan.

 

[cathie1327]

You guys are still really young. And started dating even younger! It's natural and normal that you both are going to grow and change in a multitude of ways. Some people grow along the same track, and others will have their tracks diverge. If you have things in common that the two of you share together that may help you to keep grounded and connected, and to remember just why you fell in love in the first place. I hope that you guys can find in your hearts truly what you want from life - because you each totally deserve happiness.

I have to totally agree with you. And I think that's why this is coming up now. He's been in the apartment for a little over a month now, and is growing up in a multitude of ways. Even though he's almost 27, he's experiencing the "growing pains" I did at 19. And I'll be moving into the apartment in May. I think this stepping stone for us has brought about a new change in our relationship (as it should have) and neither of us were ready or aware of the adjustments and changes we'd have to make to grow with our relationship. We have a lot of learning to grow individually as it relates to us, and I think he has a lot more than I do, simply because he is doing so much growing at once. It was all just a little overwhelming for him, I think. Something was going to take a back burner for a little while, and I'm just sad it had to be this.

Last night though, I could feel, was a turning point. He told me the way he's been feeling about some of this, and that's a big deal for him because he's not the most vocal man when it comes to his feelings (honestly, are any of them? lol). We agreed that we have to be able to grow together, and not apart. Because if we grow apart, we'll drift apart, and then we'll be in this situation, both unhappy but knowing that we don't want to be without each other.

And about remembering why we fell in love in the first place, that's EXACTLY what we said last night. We know there's something there and always has been, it just got lost in the mix of the logistics of everything. We're spending the next two weeks focusing solely on just that, WHY we love each other, WHY we enjoy each other, and making sure we keep doing things in the future to help us to remember that.

I know that we want the same things in life, I'm just a lot closer to them than he is, and I have to be patient and remember that over the last 5 years while I was spending times learning all this about myself, he was not. I have to give him that time to grow and help him grow. I've never been more aware of the importance of not "pushing" things than I am now! lol


Thanks for the advice guys. It is really helping to hear perspectives from all sides of the spectrum, and seeing other people's insights who have been through more than we have is really strengthening our belief that this is something we can overcome.

 

[cathie1327]

Just came back from walking, and it is such a beautiful day today. We're getting out and walking whilst we can, because its gonna be chilly and raining starting the middle of next week.
I can fully understand why Michigan is one of the most heaviest states, we hardly have ANY good weather during the year. We only have like 2-4 months out of the year that isn't gray and cold. My dh and I are seriously going to move to Florida once my college stuff is done. We both fell in love with the state visiting my dm there (not to mention its proximity to WDW lol).

I am thinking of getting some sort of cardio stepper thing for when it's too awful outside to walk to supplement my Wii exercising . Anyone have any recommendations of some good (and somewhat cheap) cardio equipment? (steppers, or anything under 100 dollars) tia!

I'm so with you wanting to move to Florida....Wish DBF's company had an office out there! lol. He LOVES his company and I'd never want to ask him to leave it.

 

[DisneyGalUK]

Hi Everyone!

Last day of work today until next Thursday! Let the busy madness begin!

Jessica - Welcome! This really is a great group! Post often!

Cathie - I wish I had some great advice, but honestly, the goddesses have given you much better advice than I ever could so

Nancy - Thats great news for Seth! I counted too, I chew much more than 5 times unless its chocolate, that I just inhale!

Paula - Hope you are feeling a little better today

Lisa - I need to make time to get back to your TR! Oh, and I saw your post about interesting! Good for you for leaving it up!

Erika - Sorry about your finger, hope its ok! Good luck for your taxes tomorrow!

Ronda - Great job on the running!

Kat, EE, Amy, Jo, Megan, Sunny, Liz - Hi! I hope I haven't missed anyone! A million apologies if I have!

Im still doing well with tracking and eating well - its easier now DH is following a healthier diet too, its easier to plan meals for both of us rather than one for me and one for him!

Exercise is going ok, Im not getting as much done as I would like due to work, but I am doing at least 30 minutes a day, plus all the walking I do to and from the train station and at work so I figure its better than nothing!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

 

[adsrtw]

Feeling like breaking out into song. Lisa, can you help me strike up the band?

Lend me your ear and I'll sing you a song, I will try not to sing out of key.

Feel better now.


Cathie - I have a lot to say about your situation. Just not easy to do from my phone.

Work drama continues. Luckily not my department.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Lend me your ear and I'll sing you a song, I will try not to sing out of key.

I'll sing you a song and I'm SURE I'll sing out of key

 

[HockeyKat]

I'll sing you a song and I'm SURE I'll sing out of key

I can BET on that.



Hi everyone!! Reading but not much to say.

 

[adsrtw]

Aerosmith will never sound the same to me, lol. Loved it.

 

[3DisneyKids]

I KNOW. I will forever think of Nancy every time I hear Love in an Elevator!

And seriously, I have "With a Little Help from My Friends" on my running play list in about 4 different spots...that way I am sure to hear it every time I run, no matter the distance.

Miss you guys! I feel like I haven't been around for ages. I know I have been posting regularly (and really, when DON'T I post regularly ) but I haven't really been here, if that makes sense. Next week, though, things should be good. Not that they are necessarily bad now, just a lot going on pulling me in different directions and I really haven't been able to focus on the things I want to focus on--and you all being part of that list!

Tomorrow is tax day for me. For realsies this time. Please, please think calming thoughts for me. My anxiety is through the roof.

 

[adsrtw]

Sending happy and calming thoughts your way E.

Remember when Nancy sang on Space?

 

[poppinspal]

Hey ladies, I realized today that I hadn't peaked in around here in a few days. I won't lie this week has been horrible, horrible. Work has just been brutal, the kids were stuck inside because of all the rain and every day they just got crazier. I feel drained and a little sad because I'm so aggravated with little kids. It's a hard feeling to deal with when you realize you're annoyed with a two year old. Then I had an off workout yesterday and an absolutely terrible night of hockey tonight. Plus I feel just exhausted and off physically.

The one bright spot of the week is that I've started to make arrangements to pick up some new activities after hockey stops next week. (As if training for my half isn't enough.) Next week I'll be trying out turbo kickboxing, zumba and cardio cabaret. The turbo kickboxing was what caught my attention and the instructor said I'd probably find the other two to be a good workout. You can try the classes for free so we'll see how I like them, it'll be fun to try something new.

Ok I will definitely check in tomorrow when my brain is more together and I can catch up on everything going on here.

Happy Friday everyone!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Morning! Looks like everyone is getting a slow start this morning.

It is - finally - GORGEOUS here. Of course, my tax appointment is at noon, smack in the middle of that day. But I am ready. I went through all of my paperwork last night, everything is in order, and I am hoping it won't be a bloodbath.

Meg--sorry you had such a craptastic week. Same here. And I can't even remember the last time I had a really good run. I am hoping for one today, after taxes. Right now I am taking the kids to play tennis. Do others have the day off? Our schools are off for Good Friday.

 

[SunnyB1066]

Good Morning! WW was good last night. I'm down 2.4. The meeting was about weight loss buddies and I thought of y'all!

Cathie - Glad everything is getting back on track.

Amiee - Work drama sucks!

Rhonda WOW on the sub 11 mile. I can't seem to make it thru week 1 of C@=25K.

Nancy - Congrats to Seth!

Jessica - Welcome! I have about 75 more pounds to lose and I've lost 22 since I started WW last Jan. ( I took a break about 6 weeks and gained 10 of it back.)

Lisa - I'm reading your trippie, just haven't finished it yet.

Kelly - Glad the new job is going well.

Hi to everybody I missed!

 

[SunnyB1066]

Morning! Looks like everyone is getting a slow start this morning.

It is - finally - GORGEOUS here. Of course, my tax appointment is at noon, smack in the middle of that day. But I am ready. I went through all of my paperwork last night, everything is in order, and I am hoping it won't be a bloodbath.

Meg--sorry you had such a craptastic week. Same here. And I can't even remember the last time I had a really good run. I am hoping for one today, after taxes. Right now I am taking the kids to play tennis. Do others have the day off? Our schools are off for Good Friday.

Hi E! Got my fingers crossed for the tax appt.

Meg - Hope you get the run in!

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!!!


Meg, sounds like you need a drink and a day off. I hope you have your spring break soon.

Cathie, I am glad you feel better, but keep in the back of your mind what E and Nancy said. You have to be strong and happy by yourself first.

Nancy, Wow, That is wonderful for you son, You must be so proud of him!

E, sending you much hugs and good vibes today,

Hello everyone! I hope you have a great Easter weekend.

As for me, YAY!! I finally had a good run/walk. I went on a new trail, lots of small hills, gravel trail, I did 2.5 miles in 40 mins.
No run today my 5K is tomorrow!! So sad, I get to run in the rain. Its 80* today and 65 and Rain tomorrow. Don't the weather people know this is my first 5K, no rain allowed. My goal is to run the whole thing, but I am not so sure.

So I have a few questions.

1. What do I eat before I go?
I have to drop my girls off early (7AM). Race check in is 8, race starts at 9.

2. How do I warm up? Now when I do my runs, I walk the first .25 mile then I run, then I walk and so on.

 

[adsrtw]

Hey all! I'm at work eyes fixed on a chocolate bunny that somebunny left on my desk.

 

[HockeyKat]

Meg, sorry your week has been so craptastic. I hope that the weekend is better.

It sounds like you need to just relax and recharge some batteries. I wish I were closer, would totally take you out for a beer tonight!!

Jo, GOOD LUCK on your race!!! I am so excited for you. I don't have any advice as to warm up and such, I will leave that to the experts.

Jessica, if you are still around, hi!!

Sunny, great progress on WW, and congrats on the weigh-in!

E, good luck on taxes!! Let us know how it goes. I am pretty much open today (see below) so feel free to call or text if you need to vent.


We are technically closed today, but I am in the office making up some PTO from the trip. It's pretty dead here. 86 and sunny outside, though, which is making being here all that much harder!

I weighed in this morning at 187.8. Not an official weighin of course, but that means down 30 lbs since Jan 3rd. It is helping to motivate me to keep going and kick *** in April.


I also have to share a small victory yesterday. It may seem small, anyhow, but to me and my issues with moderation, it is rather a big deal to me.

We had a company meeting and free pizza lunch. My normal MO is to either say screw it and eat a few slices and then let that carry me into a bad eating evening. Instead, I ate one slice (yummy, supreme, flat NY style LARGE pizza slice), and tracked and enjoyed the hell out of it, and then moved on with my normal healthy eating day.

Hope everyone has a great day!!