Ok, the funny story from the gym.
So I get there and it is PACKED. My gym is never packed. So this is clearly the newbs who are getting a head start on their New Year’s resolution. I know that due to the crowd I can’t stay on any one piece of cardio equipment for more than 20-30 minutes, so I decide to do a cardio circuit party. (Thanks, Nancy!)
After warming up with a 2 mile run, I hop on the only elliptical open, which happens to be in between two other regulars who I know pretty well (both men.). The way the gym is set up, all of the cardio equipment forms a square around the weight equipment in the middle. So the three of us are there watching new people try to figure out what to do on the machines, sit on them backwards, and put on WAY too much weight. All in all, having fun at the expense of others.
At this point, Jon says he has to go fight it out in the weight pit (which is on the same level as the cardio…just in the middle) and try to wrestle weights away from the new kids. “Don’t leave me!” I say, quite panicked. He just laughs and moves on. Men.
A woman I have never seen before takes his place. Obviously she is new as she just stands on the elliptical punching random buttons “trying to get it to start.” Eventually she figures out that it has to be powered by HER and she starts moving her legs. After about a minute, I notice that she is looking at her screen, then looking at mine, back to hers and back to mine and so on. Finally I asked her if she needed help. She responds, “I am just trying to figure out which one is broken, mine or yours.”
“I don’t think either one is broken. They both seem to be working fine…”
“But look at your dots and look at my dots.”
“What dots?”
“The red dots! Yours are all the way up in a solid block all the way to the top. Every dot is lit up on yours and I have just one dot all the way across the bottom.”
“That’s because we selected different programs and are working at different levels.”
<Blank stare>
“I have my machine pegged. I am working at level 9, so the ‘dots’ go all the way to the top. You are working at level one, so you only get one dot.” At which point I reach over, bump her up to a Level 4 so that she can see her “dots” go up in that column.
“But that’s so HARD.”
“That’s ok.” I bump her back down. "Start where you are comfortable and eventually you will work your way up." At this point I am being super helpful and encouraging. A few minutes pass by and she pipes up again.
“Is there any benefit to showering before you work out? I just planned to shower afterward on the days I have time.”
<Blank stare> only this time I am the one who is confused. I assume that she is talking about the showers in the locker room at the gym, so I respond with, “Well, I never shower here, so I can’t really comment on that. I just go home after my workout and shower there.”
“So you didn’t shower before you got here?”
“Um, no.”
“Then why are you all wet?”
“That’s sweat, honey. Remember I am working on Level 9. The hardest level on this machine.” And I have to admit, with the crowd that was in there, the gym was really warm and I was dripping.
“But I thought that when people work out inside, they work out in climate control so that they won’t sweat.”
“Huh?”
“I was planning on going right to work after I come to the gym and I won’t have time to shower, so I figured that by working out in climate control I would be all set.”
At this point, it was either give her a basic lecture in human thermodynamics or assume that she is a lost cause and not continue to waste my time. I take the latter and thus respond, “Then just stick to Level one and you won’t have to worry about sweating…” Meanwhile Jon is in the weight pit laughing hysterically.
Yup, it's gonna be a looooong month.