In search of my body...not the one I ate! Part Deux... We sit at the popular table!

[AKASnowWhite]

So as sort of another way to talk with each other...know each other better...I would like to tell you what I was doing when it all started that morning...and would love to hear your stories if you want...I think it is a way to show that we do remember that fatefull morning...that we do still talk about the ones lost...because they do matter...and without talk and memeories...how do we keep alive the fact we do not want that to ever happen again...

This is a tough one for me. Seven years. Amazing. Feels like yesterday - while many families suffered way more than ours, we were not untouched by this act of pure evil.

I was at the gym. Stood there with a really good friend of ours - he just held my hand.....and we watched...

DH was in Sterling, Va. working. It was his 2nd home at the time...he was in his office as the plane that hit the Pentagon circled over the building several times. A co-worker was in contact with a friend who was an air traffic controller at BWI - they knew that this plane was circling over their office...and they knew what had already happened. No cell phones. No land-lines. No internet. It was HOURS before I spoke with him. And 2 days before he could get a car and drive home.

My brother (a Navy Commander) was in D.C. - heading into his office. Heard the news on the radio, looked in his rear view mirror to see the plume of smoke rising from the Pentagon. He was re-routed to a different office and in lock-down for nearly 12 hours before he could contact his wife and family in Boston.

My brother's wife - was left not knowing where her husband was. And worse, knowing that HER brother was dead. You see, he was the co-pilot of American Airlines flight 11 that left Logan headed for L.A. It was his regular route. A former Navy fighter pilot. You know he didn't go down easy. And, while you never want to know the "how", you know that he didn't die when the plane crashed. He never would have let them do that...

And me...I was home with 3 young kids. Kids who didn't understand, yet, knew more than they ever should have had to know. I live 10 miles from an international airport. The silence following was deafening. I was horrified. Scared. Sick. Confused. Angry. Very, very angry. The thought that these *people* had made me afraid to be in my own home, in my own little corner of the world where I had never hurt a sole...I was so angry.

And now - 7 years later I still cry. I avoided the news today. No tv, no newspaper, no internet news. No need to relive it. It's like picking a scab to let the wound bleed again...and when we went to visit Ground Zero in Jan of '07...

Yep. and my son is looking into Military schools. Now you know why I'm so sad about all of his "last times"....


k- well, now I'm a blubbering idiot again...so...I'm back into my hole for the day...

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Oh, Nancy. I get the lack of media. I get it. I just want to hear their names again, so I listen.

And I get the rest of it, so much.

I think, all the time, that I got lucky, my family and I. We didn't have to bury our friend or brother, just help those who did.

I am so sorry this day is so hard for you.

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hi all...

Reading these posts has been hard today. I was on my way into my office from the parking lot when I heard the news. I got into the office and everone was huddled around computers watching the news on the internet. I was in shock for about a week. That week was a difficult one for us. While I did not lose anyone personally that day, the stories coming in from those around me made it feel as if I did. It seemed as if everyone had a I lost my ____ connection which only reinforced how small this world really is when you think about it.

I was glued to the news for the next week until I just couldn't take the grief anymore. I went to church on the day of morning during my lunch hour and just couldn't bring myself to get up and go back to work. To make matters more interesting, my 30th birthday was that year on 9/12. My family planned a party which was held, but it wasn't as festive as past birthdays have been. It was just odd. People still comment about how I was "lucky" that my birthday wasn't on the 11th. I don't like those comments. My birthday is when it is and there is nothing I can do to control what happens on it in later years. It is what it is and all I can do is make the best of it. I try to take some time each Sept. 11th to thank God for all that he has given me and to pray that the world learns to be tolerant of each other's views. It is in that tolerance that we can find peace.

I am now in Princeton, NJ and it seems wierd to be away from my family today. I am jonesing for a hug from my mom right now... I got a call from my sister telling me that my grandmother just got diagnosed with a blood clot in her leg. She is 94 and has a DNR so my mom and her two brothers don't really want to do anything heroic. I had a good cry and came to terms with their decision. The whole thing reminded me that there really isn't a good time to say that last goodbye to someone. Whether by accident or by old age, are we ever really ready to say goodbye. So hug your loved ones every chance you can. It really is important.

All right, I need to get going. I have to do some ironing, get my exercise in and get some sleep.

Hugs to you all....
Paula

 

[SeptemberGirl]

If you would like to donate to my measly part of a triathalon team, here is the link:

http://web.mac.com/lizwalter/iWeb/More%20of%20the%20World/Donation%20Information.html

We are raising money for breast cancer research, in honor of my mom who is a 12 year survivor.

Thanks!

 

[3DisneyKids]

There is NOTHING measly about what you are doing!

 

[HockeyKat]

Okay, I think I am finally caught up. Geebus, y'all are talkative!!

Sorry for the delay, we didn't have i-net access for our last 2 WDW days, and then Monday was new job + new hockey season at night, Tues I was exhausted, and last night was spent getting new laptop setup on the wireless network, and set up in general, and some AIM.

Plus, I didn't have a computer until yesterday when work laptop came in. D appropriated my laptop years ago since I generally get one from work, and it wasn't worth trying to get everything set up just for a few days.

New job is AWESOME so far. It is going to be a ton of work, but I think that I will learn a lot and it is so much more informal than Big Brother Bank. My team is already joking around a lot and it feels a lot less *serious*, somehow.

I have gained a TON of weight... I admitted the number to Liz under duress but I am not sure I am ready to do so here. It is less than 20 lbs at least but I have a ways to go to get back to where I was when I started my backslide at the end of June. I could KICK myself.


Here goes on the questions:
#1 Name and Family you care to share plus a little about your weight struggles/programs you are on:
Kathryn (32), family is hubby (37), cat Trinity and kitten Maya. I do calorie counting via Sparkpeople and exercise, mostly weight training, elliptical/arc, and ice hockey. I have struggled with weight most of my adult life, put on 70 lbs since starting to date hubby, took off 60 of it but have put some back on.

#2 What are some of your trigger foods?
Chips, salsa con queso, french onion dip, beer, pizza, french fries

#3 What form of exercise (activity) would you love to do but have limited yourself from due to weight/confidence?
I don't care much what people think... if you don't want to watch my fat a$$, look away!

#4 Occupation (if legal)Computer programmer, now for a software company that does real-time hospital inventory and asset tracking

#5 What do you want to achieve from a healthier body / lifestyle?
Feel better about myself, more attractive, etc.

#6 If you could celebrate with anything when you reach/ed goal, what would it be...or what would it have been?
Not sure

Now that I feel changes in my body from the exercise, and am making it a daily priority (praying for continued success) I need to emulate Liz. She lost her weight by changing her eating habits. Pretty soon, I'll be Kat and have the dang thing down. Food. Check. Exercise. Check.

Speaking of Kat, girl, you really need to make an appearance.

I am here!! And don't emulate me, at least not for a week or so until I get my routine back.

So, I have been back on the wagon since yesterday. Have managed to string together two solid days of calorie counting, and even only had one slice of pizza + salad when they brought pizza in for lunch. And counted it.

I am hoping to find a way to fit the gym in again. Lunchtime is likely out as the closest one is a bit too far, I think.

Anyhow, I need to get to bed. Hope everyone has a great night, and I am glad to be back.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Nancy/Paula - Thank you for sharing that story...

Treyner came home all fired up...he had a confrontation in his architecture class as they studied some of the Trade Center blue prints...

The day at our HS started with 2 buglers playing taps on a walk bridge that connects the 2 parts of the high school...all doors were open and it was very moving as the tones reverberated off the classroom walls...

Then...some 9th grade schmucks started snickering..not showing what proper respect they should have even if they were not interested in the blue-prints and the discussion...laughed at pics of those forced to jump...were goofing off loudly after the teacher asked them to settle...and then Treyner asked them to be quiet...

They pretty much told him to F off...and from what his teacher said and what he said..Treyner in so many words...told them if they did not stop it...he was going to beat the he!! out of them...with a whole lot of expletives and jumping to his feet thrown in...(E - he can swear like a sailor)

The teach asked Treyner to stay after class...Treyner said that the boys did not breathe the rest of class...and when he met the teacher...the teacher asked him to repeat what he said...Treyner said no since he could not remember half and if the teacher did not know...he would not incriminate himself...

The teach siad..."Ballpark it for me" Treyner did...and the teacher smiled...said "I thought that was close to what I heard"...but next time you want to play vigilante...please keep it at a Barney vocabulary...

Turns out he knew someone who died in Tower 1 very well...

The other - much lighter topic I had to share was that one of their teachers/football coaches at the HS is going to be on Deal or No Deal in a few weeks...already done - can't say how he did ....but I guess the proccess to be chosen was a 2 hour phone interview...they flew him out 3 times before deciding...they interviewed 30 friends/family to pick the 4 out that get to be on stage with him..and it was almost a month time frame for all this to get done...Kids are excited to watch that one...I'll let ya know...

Night my beautiful friends....

 

[BrcsDisneyPrncs]

I have to get off to work so i only have a second but, i just wanted to update. After 3 different recovery software programs and 15 hours, i have 95% of my honeymoon pictures back Thank god, because when i emailed disney photopass i received a response that no way no how was i able to get my photo pass pictures past the 30 day mark

DIdn't post last night, my company had our 2008 wine tour of the fingerlakes (they do it every year). Which kind of sucks, b/c i can't drink wine, but it was still fun.

I'll be back tonight, i hope everyone is having a great morning!

 

[AKASnowWhite]

DIdn't post last night, my company had our 2008 wine tour of the fingerlakes (they do it every year). Which kind of sucks, b/c i can't drink wine, but it was still fun.

Aw man! I wish you had called me. I'd have been your DD for the night! (Designated Drinker! )

Have a great day everyone...

OH and HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULA!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Paula!!!

 

[3DisneyKids]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULA!!!


and

WELCOME BACK, KAT!

As for me, I am in the sh*t today. Just a huge, massive, time-consuming problem that I have to deal with (not worth going on in detail about here), but I am frustrated and annoyed to no end. Fortunately, it is my rest day from working-out, so I have some extra time to dedicate to this nonsense.

I will pop back in later this afternoon.

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Happy Birthday Paula! hope you have a great Day!

I am off to get some work done on my car and then come home and pack a little and then head to work. I guess I should sharpen my teeth before I go in.... That's a joke.......... I am drawing blood tonight!
In the house news .... UUUHHHHHGGGGG the current owners called stephen last night and asked if they could have till the end of the month. UMMM NO we have rent to pay if we stay past the end of the month... they told us that it wouldn't take long for them to move! I have a SH!t load to pack and I think I can make it! Still haven't heard a closing date yet.
Hope every one has a great day!
I may not be on tonight after work due to I will be checking zac's sugar all dam night. Not sure if his LONG ACTING insulin is lasting all night of if he is going low at some point. We are trying something NEW this weekend. It's going to be a LONG weekend! Plus I have to work Sunday... My schedule is CRAZy I tell ya for some one that works Part time I am working 5 days a week now!

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Erika - hang in there, chica. Call me. We'll chat about our sh$tty weeks.

Steph - I hope things work out and they leave the house!!!! Darn owners!

Kat - Welcome back!!! I am not back on exercise yet, we can get in gear together!


PAULA - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I know you will have a great time at the comedy club - and you are at that nice hotel. It's like a getaway for your birthday! (Minus the work, of course)


This week has been tough for me. Life, food, home, all of it. I am starting to feel a bit better. But not totally. Yelled at my kid for no good reason this morning- what a way to send her off to school huh? I need more sleep and more patience. With myself and her. I think I just need to keep saying, you are a good mom, you are a good mom, you are doing fine.

After I dropped her off - on time! - I went to the grocery store and stocked up on good low point food to satisfy me. It was a treat to be alone at the grocery store and someone even bagged the stuff and put it in my cart. Amazing.

Ok, going to go put my life back together. Wish me luck.

 

[MunkyMe13]

Gosh, you guys must be sick of seeing these by now...These are my before and "in progress" pics. I still have 10 pounds to go from here.

The pics look great!!!

Okay, I think I am finally caught up. Geebus, y'all are talkative!!

Sorry for the delay, we didn't have i-net access for our last 2 WDW days, and then Monday was new job + new hockey season at night, Tues I was exhausted, and last night was spent getting new laptop setup on the wireless network, and set up in general, and some AIM.

Plus, I didn't have a computer until yesterday when work laptop came in. D appropriated my laptop years ago since I generally get one from work, and it wasn't worth trying to get everything set up just for a few days.

New job is AWESOME so far. It is going to be a ton of work, but I think that I will learn a lot and it is so much more informal than Big Brother Bank. My team is already joking around a lot and it feels a lot less *serious*, somehow.

I have gained a TON of weight... I admitted the number to Liz under duress but I am not sure I am ready to do so here. It is less than 20 lbs at least but I have a ways to go to get back to where I was when I started my backslide at the end of June. I could KICK myself.


Here goes on the questions:
#1 Name and Family you care to share plus a little about your weight struggles/programs you are on:
Kathryn (32), family is hubby (37), cat Trinity and kitten Maya. I do calorie counting via Sparkpeople and exercise, mostly weight training, elliptical/arc, and ice hockey. I have struggled with weight most of my adult life, put on 70 lbs since starting to date hubby, took off 60 of it but have put some back on.

#2 What are some of your trigger foods?
Chips, salsa con queso, french onion dip, beer, pizza, french fries

#3 What form of exercise (activity) would you love to do but have limited yourself from due to weight/confidence?
I don't care much what people think... if you don't want to watch my fat a$$, look away!

#4 Occupation (if legal)Computer programmer, now for a software company that does real-time hospital inventory and asset tracking

#5 What do you want to achieve from a healthier body / lifestyle?
Feel better about myself, more attractive, etc.

#6 If you could celebrate with anything when you reach/ed goal, what would it be...or what would it have been?
Not sure



I am here!! And don't emulate me, at least not for a week or so until I get my routine back.

So, I have been back on the wagon since yesterday. Have managed to string together two solid days of calorie counting, and even only had one slice of pizza + salad when they brought pizza in for lunch. And counted it.

I am hoping to find a way to fit the gym in again. Lunchtime is likely out as the closest one is a bit too far, I think.

Anyhow, I need to get to bed. Hope everyone has a great night, and I am glad to be back.

Welcome back!!!! Welcome back to the Wagon!!!

Nancy/Paula - Thank you for sharing that story...

Treyner came home all fired up...he had a confrontation in his architecture class as they studied some of the Trade Center blue prints...

The day at our HS started with 2 buglers playing taps on a walk bridge that connects the 2 parts of the high school...all doors were open and it was very moving as the tones reverberated off the classroom walls...

Then...some 9th grade schmucks started snickering..not showing what proper respect they should have even if they were not interested in the blue-prints and the discussion...laughed at pics of those forced to jump...were goofing off loudly after the teacher asked them to settle...and then Treyner asked them to be quiet...

They pretty much told him to F off...and from what his teacher said and what he said..Treyner in so many words...told them if they did not stop it...he was going to beat the he!! out of them...with a whole lot of expletives and jumping to his feet thrown in...(E - he can swear like a sailor)

The teach asked Treyner to stay after class...Treyner said that the boys did not breathe the rest of class...and when he met the teacher...the teacher asked him to repeat what he said...Treyner said no since he could not remember half and if the teacher did not know...he would not incriminate himself...

The teach siad..."Ballpark it for me" Treyner did...and the teacher smiled...said "I thought that was close to what I heard"...but next time you want to play vigilante...please keep it at a Barney vocabulary...

Turns out he knew someone who died in Tower 1 very well...

The other - much lighter topic I had to share was that one of their teachers/football coaches at the HS is going to be on Deal or No Deal in a few weeks...already done - can't say how he did ....but I guess the proccess to be chosen was a 2 hour phone interview...they flew him out 3 times before deciding...they interviewed 30 friends/family to pick the 4 out that get to be on stage with him..and it was almost a month time frame for all this to get done...Kids are excited to watch that one...I'll let ya know...

Night my beautiful friends....

Sounds like you have a very smart and wonderful son!!! My dad always taught me to be outspoken like that in class especially about current events, history and politics... When he was in the Vietnam War he was walking through an airport in the US and he saw a hippie wearing pants with an upside down American flag on the back and told the kid to take them off or he'd do it for him... Well needless to say the kid refused and called my dad a baby killer so my dad ripped the kids pants right off him... I may not like every thing our country does or the leadership but I am always going to be an American and never turn my back on America or its people... Thats just how I was brought up. Way to go Treyner for staying true to his values!!

Well on my end things were baddd food wise last night... Still lost weight but still gave in to Chipotle... Tonight we are going to Red Robin with a co-worker so I budgeted my calories and will have only 1550 total for the day which is so not bad Work has been really tough this week... I have also been off my sleep schedule of 2 naps because Will was on days this week... Honestly I think I feel less tired when I am on that schedule... I've been getting 7-8 hours a night all week and have been just exhausted... I am feeling a little better today tho... But maybe thats cuz its FRIDAY!!!! I hope everyone is having a happy Friday and I will post as more people post

 

[3DisneyKids]

Hi all--I am much more calm now, thanks to LYZ and LIZ who both talked me through my rant. I am less in the weeds, though still have some hoops to jump through in order to straighten out this mess that I call my life!

On a good note...tonight I am going out with a bunch of friends. Like 7 of us are going out for no reason other than just going out. And I am saving my calories for it, I tell ya! So that is something to look forward to.

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Christmas Eve 2007

September 9, 2008 32 pounds lighter!

 

[HockeyKat]

Erika - hang in there, chica. Call me. We'll chat about our sh$tty weeks.

Steph - I hope things work out and they leave the house!!!! Darn owners!

Kat - Welcome back!!! I am not back on exercise yet, we can get in gear together!


PAULA - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I know you will have a great time at the comedy club - and you are at that nice hotel. It's like a getaway for your birthday! (Minus the work, of course)


This week has been tough for me. Life, food, home, all of it. I am starting to feel a bit better. But not totally. Yelled at my kid for no good reason this morning- what a way to send her off to school huh? I need more sleep and more patience. With myself and her. I think I just need to keep saying, you are a good mom, you are a good mom, you are doing fine.

After I dropped her off - on time! - I went to the grocery store and stocked up on good low point food to satisfy me. It was a treat to be alone at the grocery store and someone even bagged the stuff and put it in my cart. Amazing.

Ok, going to go put my life back together. Wish me luck.

I hear ya, in every way.

And I am definitely in for getting back on track together. I am on day 3 of good eating, so that is a start.

Okay, quick driveby during lunch... catch ya all later.

 

[lisaviolet]

Wow! Your pictures are all fantastic. So inspiring. I've tried to find some. But so many I'm hiding behind someone. I'll figure it out.

Have some great news. I signed up for the BL. Not even for weight loss. I don't need it because I have here. I did it to force myself to face a personal issue that's not doing me any good. I'm a perfectionist. And for me it translates from running away from what I see as failure instead of sticking it out. I hate the scale. I'm a big girl and big boned so it's not a nice tool for me. However, I am looking forward to being okay with posting small gains - which are always there on a weight loss journey. I want to face this head on.

I so look forward to living my life and being okay with making mistakes. Because it's a hard life otherwise. Headache inducing. And I don't want it anymore.

You guys. I had to get on the scale and I really am back down. I was only just over two pounds up from where I was. That's fantastic. And it's because of all of you. Your good nature, your welcoming me. I squashed a looming gain. And I thank you all so much.

You are all so such an inspiration. Thanks.

I'll post the pictures soon. When I figure it all out.

Lisa

Most important -

Happy Birthday Ms. Paula.

Hope you have a fantastic day!!!!

 

[MunkyMe13]

I totally forgot to put in my last post!!

Have a great Birthday Paula!!!

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Wow! Your pictures are all fantastic. So inspiring. I've tried to find some. But so many I'm hiding behind someone. I'll figure it out.

Have some great news. I signed up for the BL. Not even for weight loss. I don't need it because I have here. I did it to force myself to face a personal issue that's not doing me any good. I'm a perfectionist. And for me it translates from running away from what I see as failure instead of sticking it out. I hate the scale. I'm a big girl and big boned so it's not a nice tool for me. However, I am looking forward to being okay with posting small gains - which are always there on a weight loss journey. I want to face this head on.

I so look forward to living my life and being okay with making mistakes. Because it's a hard life otherwise. Headache inducing. And I don't want it anymore.

You guys. I had to get on the scale and I really am back down. I was only just over two pounds up from where I was. That's fantastic. And it's because of all of you. Your good nature, your welcoming me. I squashed a looming gain. And I thank you all so much.

You are all so such an inspiration. Thanks.

I'll post the pictures soon. When I figure it all out.

Lisa

Most important -

Happy Birthday Ms. Paula.

Hope you have a fantastic day!!!!

Lisa i just wanted to say I FINALLY got my poutine today which I ate about 4 bites and was full, so I am bring the rest for dinner