In Search of my Body...Not The One I Ate.. #4 "Inspiring Others... 1 Tiara at a Time"

Lisa - one more thing - piercing your belly button is a great incentive...do not say it is self absorbed...because it is not...it is something you want...just for you...and if I ever had the body for it...after stomach surgery..I would do it to...if I wasn't suck a chicken...2 tatoos...no piercings but my ears...
 
Lisa - one more thing - piercing your belly button is a great incentive...do not say it is self absorbed...because it is not...it is something you want...just for you...and if I ever had the body for it...after stomach surgery..I would do it to...if I wasn't suck a chicken...2 tatoos...no piercings but my ears...
I always thought that the belly button pierce would be something I would do to celebrate a skinny me....unfortunately I haven't found the skinny me in the last 10 yrs....maybe this year is the year....LOL
 
OMG, I leave you all alone for a day and look what happens!!! :rotfl2: Love it when I come back to lots of posts to read.

Can't respond to everyone now, but I will be online tonight.

LISA--thanks for the list! Awesome!

NANCY--yeah, I didn't have to worry about you signing up for the challenge. :rotfl2:

LYZ---oooh, the dual challenge, I like it!

Zurg--welcome! Yes, of course you can join in!
 
Liz - I have my fingers and toes crossed for your friend. I think watching someone want a baby so badly but not having one is really painful, so come here when you need to vent because we do understand.... Also, I am so happy that your BIL is starting to come around. I mean how could he not with such a supportive family like yours around. He just needed some time to deal with it all...

Zurg... welcome to the bunch... jump in, introduce yourself and feel free to share... we all thrive off of each other around here...

Nancy and Lyz - I have moved my Christmas cards (unopened, still in the store bag) three times now... perhaps I'll do a Christmas in July card... won't that be funny...

OK I am not igoring the rest of you... I am in between meetings and have to run...

Talk to you all after my JC appointment tonight...
Paula
 

I have to go back. I missed the belly button thing. Not self absorbed. Something you want. I want lots that would be considered self absorbed. Gotta have something to work toward.
 
Oh and Lisa - if you are dreaming about my biking adventure, can I at least be a size 6 in your dream??? :rotfl2:

I met with a personal trainer for an assessment and he has me all excited.

On the first - done. :lmao: But you're a cutie right now.

On the second - so much to say but I have my mind in such sneaky places. :rotfl: :lmao: :rotfl: :scared1: So funny.

Oh yes I have been a Fins fan since before I met Stephen and Thank god He is a Fins fan too! MY friend who's house we were at tonight is also one so IT was great to see them get to the playoffs since they were 1-15 last year! I so thought that she was crashed and she is now texting me!

Sorry Paula for the Jets. But with Pennington it's kind of a nice feeling? No, I guess not, eh? :lmao: ;) Sorry.

Yeah for you though Steph.


So in addition to the 30 day shred, bruce also got me Jillian Michaels 2009 fitness ultimatum for Wii. And i have Wii fit on backorder, for those nasty snowy days when i can't/won't leave the house, it's better than being a couch potato!

Let me know how it goes Stacey.

:rotfl: me too! At the minute I think peer pressure would do me the world of good!

:rotfl: :surfweb: So true Kelly.

and (2) stop being such a hot mess all the time! :rotfl2:
!

:rotfl: Just loved that line. You do have quite the busy life. Nice.

Long story short, I was going to do the Goofy challenge on the 10th of this month but all of the sudden my world kind of fell apart on me. Briefly, my DH told me I was too old to run that far. My MIL who is 67 and still a runner let me down and did not back me up this time. Needless to say, I felt a little abandoned. I stopped running. It makes me teary eyed just to say it. I have not run except for maybe a handful of times since November first. I am up 7 pounds from where I wanted to lose 5 and I sunk into a state of depression over the holidays where I did not even enjoy that. So, sign me up. I need some help. The team challenge is over on the events side and I am foundering at sea.

:

:hug: Sighing Lisa. That paragraph really hit me hard. I don't know you well - but from your posts I do know how much running means to your life. I'm so sorry.

But the paragraph also made me smile. Because I love when others, and me too - if I can be so self absorbed:laughing: , face the sh!t head on. It's so strong Lisa to feel the disappointment and the low times and come right here - so soon after. So I sighed and then I smiled. Good for you.


I *was* going to have to say "MARCO"....but I see she has reappeared :laughing:

Oh Nancy. :lmao: :rotfl: :lmao:

I'm here... no time to read or post! My parent's network doesn't like me much. Just adding this so it shows up on my phone list and I can read it later. :)

Hi Kat! :lovestruc

Spirits higher, seems like maybe he got some thinking in and it did him some good.

So, I mentioned friend but not friends...well, my friend who found out she was pregnant, Jodi, had major bleeding and cramping yesterday. She spent the day on the couch, and later, for dinner, she sent her husband over with food. He and I talked a lot, which was good. He was so concerned about her. I kept telling him to just wait, go to the doctor today, and then deal as need be. So here's the deal. Ready?

She's still pregnant. There is a viable baby with a heartbeat. And an empty sac above the baby. So, there were twins and she miscarried one. It's still very risky because the sac is above, not below the viable baby. But, a miracle. Seriously. The JOY in her voice almost made me sob today, as she told me, on the way to get some blood tests.

So, please please, keep your fingers crossed for her. This means so much to her. It does to all of us, right, but the timing and her age and how long she's waited - I just want this to work out for her.

Glad to hear your BIL had a better day Liz.

And big :hug: for you and your friend. I can imagine it's hard to think about all the ins and outs of a tough pregnancy. Good thoughts.

Hopefullly this thread is ok for others to join.....I will post shortly when my crazy family holiday wedding weekend ends soon....

Hi zurgswife!

Lisa

OMG, I leave you all alone for a day and look what happens!!! :rotfl2: Love it when I come back to lots of posts to read.

I know, eh? Unreal. Nice.


Okay,

Challenge. I'm undecided about getting back on the scale. I said months and it will be only three weeks soon. :lmao: I don't know. My exercise is fine. But my eating has hardly been conscious. And to be honest it feels gross to eat too much. So I'm torn. Will make a decision soon.

As for my goals for this month -

1) To get back to conscious eating.

2) To lose 5 pounds - if on the scale

3) To continue my six day/two off schedule unless I'm on heavy intervals.

4) To be less and less of a perfectionist and easier on myself.

Boy, I'm am so going to miss my gym here. In my condo. I shoiuld find a way to take pics for you. It's on the roof. All glass. 17th floor. City and lake view. Really peaceful to workout in. Sad. :sad2: Sad too because there are no time rules which makes on/off intervals a breeze with machines/free weights etc. Oh well. Life. It goes on.
 
Okay,

Challenge. I'm undecided about getting back on the scale. I said months and it will be only three weeks soon. :lmao: I don't know. My exercise is fine. But my eating has hardly been conscious. And to be honest it feels gross to eat too much. So I'm torn. Will make a decision soon.

As for my goals for this month -

1) To get back to conscious eating.

Well,

To be truthful I have more to say about all this. My eating feels very emotional - suddenly. After I said I felt I had that taken care of. It's come again. And it's been quite a long time since it has. It's not the emotional eating of the past - out of control - so that is gone. But it's still not wanted. It's just plain unconscious all of a sudden.

And I hesitated to say anything about it in these last couple of weeks because it's past stuff again. But @#@@ that. It just is what it is. Like the sky is blue. And Lyz is cute. :lmao:

Three weeks ago, after the end of the last BL, I saw a big body change in the mirror. And part of me takes it in and says "nice". But a bigger part of me doesn't want it at all. It feels scary to me. Ridiculous in general terms. But it takes me to men. To sexual attraction. To things that I'm not facing.

Plus, I was triggered by some things in the last few weeks that I thought I wasn't. Don't ever trust feeling nothing/void Lisa! Don't touch the puzzle folks. Just me blabbering. Is this a certain kind of crazy Erika? :lmao:

I know how absurd that sounds about sexual attraction. I'm sure I was somewhat attractive bigger. It's simply a mind thing that I do and I'm so frustrated that losing weight turns from great to scary in an instant. That I can't enjoy it. I'm frustrated that I haven't figured out this whole men fear sh!t. I'm frustrated that I'm putting roadblocks in my way. And I'm fu#@ing frustrated that I hesitate to say any of these "just the way it is" words because I don't want to be perceived as drama, or here we go again, or someone is uncomfortable with this talk. It's just the flippin facts that sometimes have validity. Talking to myself. This is my sh!t to work out. My sh!t.

Are you getting that I'm frustrated!?!??!?!??!:rotfl: :lmao: :rotfl:

Lisa, and I'm not talking to myself:lmao: - this time anyway, you inspired me with your story. You really did. Thanks. You faced things head on coming back here. And I've been hiding with this these last few weeks because I thought I was past this sh!t. I was tired. There was a weight that was an emotional pull for me - that I felt very naked - and I perceived it was done because I passed that. And hey my mind has created a new one. Fancy Fu#4in' that. Oh Lyz close your ears. Sometimes only swear words do it for me.

And I refuse to look in the mirror and feel sad or scared or ashamed of flippin' success!!! It's ridiculous. It's so ridiculous.

So if you can't make a word out from my blabbering. I'm eating because my looking good/better made me feel vunerable. Beyond vunerable -scared sh!tless. And I won't fu#kin' have that happen.

I just shoved down a lovely homemade buttertart. My mom can still make them - thank God. Now you know I eat everything in my weight loss and that includes buttertarts. But I shoved it. Shoved it in three seconds flat. I can't believe I'm here again.:sad2:

And yes I know I'm not alone. I know as I write. Different stories - same
sh!t. We obviously all have reasons we put roadblocks in front of ourselves.

Done. :lmao: :lovestruc

And cutie - I'll try not to edit. :lmao:
 
/
Lisa, I totally get what you wrote. I am still in the midst of self-sabotage and not appreciating what I see and emotional eating.

TOTALLY get it all!
 
Lisa, I totally get what you wrote. I am still in the midst of self-sabotage and not appreciating what I see and emotional eating.

TOTALLY get it all!

Yeah! Yeah and a double yeah. I was actually thinking about you as I wrote Liz. It's ridiculous isn't it? I am compassionate to you and me and others. But it's really ridiculous. Obviously, still venting.

Whoops on the yeahs!!! I'm not celebrating that you're struggling with seeing your success. :laughing: I'm sure you know that. We have to get this - we have to. It's insanity, she says with a :lovestruc .
 
I am so with you on the self-sabotage. My LIFE right now.

Hoping to get back to it by the end of the week and stay on target for a while.

I still haven't caught up. And I likely won't until tomorrow. But, I just wanted to add that in. :)
 
I'm going to relate this to a book. Stay with me.

Ok, those of you who have read Twilight...and without giving it away...we need to stop being Bella.

Bella doesn't believe she is worthy of the incredible love Edward has for her. She says over and over that she's nothing special, that nothing about her could hold him. But that's not true.

This year, and I mean 2009, we need to accept that we are worth this.

Oh, and could you just staple my mouth shut? Because that would be easier than dealing with emotional eating and boredom eating and comfort eating. Thanks!
 
I did a bit of thinking today and you can put my January goals as a 5 pound loss and exercise 5 days a week. I would like to be more specific as far as miles per week but I haven't quite decided on what my maintenance plan willl be post Donald.I am running a half in february and March.

Did some awesome hiking today,a trail I never could have done before since it was pretty much all uphill.i felt no muscle burn and was just a little winded mostly from my cough. It felt so good and the views were spectacular. It was only a few miles total but some great cardio!

Lisa glad to see you over here!!

Welcome zurg!!!!
 
Lisa and Liz - I so get what you both are saying...

Even know looking at the pictures from Florida, I still can't believe that the image I am looking at is me. The trainer I met with last night asked me what my weight / size goals were and I couldn't answer him because I couldn't really visualize myself smaller than I am now. I so need to get past that if I want to move on, but I just don't know how to do that...

We need to find a way to let ourselves accept happiness in our new forms. Let's make that a goal for 2009 - more self acceptance...

Paula
 
Bella doesn't believe she is worthy of the incredible love Edward has for her. She says over and over that she's nothing special, that nothing about her could hold him. But that's not true.

This year, and I mean 2009, we need to accept that we are worth this.

We need to find a way to let ourselves accept happiness in our new forms. Let's make that a goal for 2009 - more self acceptance...

Lisa :hug: One of the things that I love most about you is your ability to just lay it all out there.

We are in the same boat....just on a different lake! :laughing:

So often I keep all the *bad* stuff crammed far away, safe way in the depths of my brain....like some old junk in a closet that you don't feel like dealing with. Out of sight, out of mind, kwim? Until...someone opens that closet door, and all the crap comes tumbling out. Just like that crap in the closet, I need to "purge" the crap in my head. Allow myself to feel those things that are unpleasant....then...toss them in the trash. Be done with them. Give myself the gift of unconditional love and forgiveness...it's what I'd do for anyone else in the world....so why not myself? Really. I'm the one I have to LIVE with 24/7....why not spend my time with someone I like? :confused3
 
Nancy and Lyz - I have moved my Christmas cards (unopened, still in the store bag) three times now... perhaps I'll do a Christmas in July card... won't that be funny...
I didn't send out Christmas Cards either! I bought nice special Disney ones last year while in Disney and I can't find them. I like the idea of sending them out in July though!


Lisa, I totally get what you wrote. I am still in the midst of self-sabotage and not appreciating what I see and emotional eating.

TOTALLY get it all!
Me to having to work the holiday this year put me in a funk and I ate and ate and ate! I also noticed that not only am I eating when I shouldn't be but I am back eating the one thing that I said I need to STOP eating and that was BUTTER! We used to go through a stick a day before WW and I stopped eating it and using it! And I was buying a pound a month, now back to buying a pound every two weeks. I Thought I was going to start back today and I didn't not proud of myself in fact, I even skipped WW, because I knew I would be disappointed in myself more so than I already am. I haven't really tracked in months and it shows!

I'm going to relate this to a book. Stay with me.

Ok, those of you who have read Twilight...and without giving it away...we need to stop being Bella.
Ok so I watched the movie FINALLY and guess what I didn't like it! I mean I liked it but I didn't LOVE it! I like the mental movie in my head better from the book!
Bella doesn't believe she is worthy of the incredible love Edward has for her. She says over and over that she's nothing special, that nothing about her could hold him. But that's not true.

This year, and I mean 2009, we need to accept that we are worth this.

Oh, and could you just staple my mouth shut? Because that would be easier than dealing with emotional eating and boredom eating and comfort eating. Thanks!
Yes stapling Mouth shut sounds good to me! I have really really bad! Cookies my mother baked them and then brought them to MY HOUSE, UMM HELLO I too am on WW! Other than the butter I have been eating CHIPS of all things! I never ate chips! I been grabbing bags at work and not even a multi grain chip but good ole salty ruffles!:scared1:


Ok my Mini Month of January goal will be 5 pounds to lose! Back to tracking actual tracking on WW site and not in my head!
I would like to incorporate some type of exercise. I now own an iPOD so maybe back to walking or maybe the couch 2 5k. OR maybe I will ACTUALLY OPEN THE BELLY DANCING dvd I bought MANY months ago! I am not committing to the exercise but I will give it a shot! But the 5 pound is a MUST! I own a pool now and need to look good by summer!
Zurg WELCOME!!!!
 
Holy crap we are doing some soul-searching today! I say good!

As for me...Hello? Stress-eater in the extreme here. And you all know I have had nothing but stress this week. And usually I don't have crap in the house...so at least I over-eat with healthy food. But since it is Christmas week, OMG, the stuff I have been eating. Fudge. Need I say more?

This is why I started the challenge. Though I would love to say that I am altruistic and want to selflessly help all of you, the reality is that I need it. I need a MAJOR kick in the a$$. Thank God for the running. Otherwise I would have gained a lot more than 5 in the last month.

LisaV/LisaPR/Liz--all good stuff. You all put it out there and I love it. But I don't want to be Bella. As much as I loved the book, I didn't see much of myself in her. And that's ok. I just need another heroine.

Liz--about the fast. I love to do this like once a year. Just a toxic purge type of thing.

[NOTE to Others: Please note that Liz and I are NOT talking about doing this for weight loss reasons. We both lost weight the very healthy ways. He with Weight Watchers, me with lots of exercise. This is more of a purification thing.]

I want to know what kind of fast. Water only? Clear liquids only? I have been toying with the idea. It has been a long time, and I think it would be good for me right now for a variety of reasons. But not till Janary 5th since that is when I get my life back.
 
Oh my gosh! Look at all the posts today!

ZurgsWife ~ Welcome! Welcome! I think it is safe to say that you have found a very supportive thread in every aspect that you wish to share. No judgement here, what-so-ever. Just a great group that has each other's backs ~ not just where losing weight and motivation is concerned either. I look forward to learning more about you.

Nancy ~ no prob with the spelling. I answer to just about any spelling, lol. In fact, most of the peeps at work and a few clients know me by my nickname because there are some many Amys.:lmao: Isn't it kinda commical how sometimes the good for you way of cooking really is so empowering. It's all about control!

Lisa ~ go for it. They have some really cute piercing thingys. Some tummy bling could be a great reward. If I wasn't terrified of those needles, it would rank up there with the satisfaction of buying new cute undies in a smaller size.

Dawn ~ couldn't have said it better myself. Completely agree ~ not self-absorbed. I too am a piercing chicken, but I think they look very alluring.

Erika ~ I hope you enjoyed your day. I'm sending a few prayers your way.

Stephanie ~ Is your son doing better?? I can possible through a few cyber-kicks toward your in-laws for you.

Everybody else, I hope you have a great week. I know I forgot a few here and there.

I have an appointment with my favorite chiropractor on Wednesday (he's out of town until then) and let me tell you, he is pleasant to look at! I really have to sit down and think about some goals. Never really had any true goals before where fitness is concerned. Might as well make a new start.

Take care,
Amiee
 
And Steph--I know what you mean about the movie. I liked it...but it can never compare to the mental one as you read the book. I mean, she made the Cullens too beautiful to be personified, you know?
 
oops...

forgot to report on my JC appointment...

lost .7 pounds... nothing much else to report...

very excited about the new year and the new challenge though...

talk to you all in the morning,
paula
 





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