In Search of my Body...Not The One I ate...#3 "Crowning Goddesses As We Go"

[HockeyKat]

Wow, y'all have been chatty!! I didn't get online last night, because I didn't get home from hockey (well, from having a beer after) until after 12:30.

I understand Erika. You know your body. And everyone is different. I remember Bette Midler saying the same kind of thing. And she's tiny. She told Oprah she was overweight at one point and had gained seven or eight pounds. Oprah went into hysterics but Bette explained a few pounds is a huge deal on her frame and size. We are opposite so I really understand. I can gain those eight that you want to lose and no one would probably notice and I would be in the same size - only tight.

And this is the not nice part -

When I lost 25 pounds on the BL - not one member of my family noticed. Not one. I'm not sure they noticed the previous 40 plus over the years earlier - don't know the exact number because I didn't get on a scale all those years of losing.

I weigh about 224. And honestly if I stopped right now - I look fine. No one would guess that weight. I have no idea what my goal might be - I'll know when I get there but I think it's between 180-195. I'm sighing - university when I thought I was so huge just because of my bones. That I just didn't look like "that girl" so to speak. Now I know at 41 that I will never be "that girl" - God didn't make my bones like that. And I am "this girl" and that's a-okay!!!

So when those numbers are a goal well the scale isn't really so exciting.

Boy, I'm a ramblin'. Your pictures just brought out so much.


Regardless you really look fantastic. I am so incredibly impressed. I'm praying that some money comes my way so I can see you in person.

Lisa

Lisa, I am with you. Not small at all. I am 5'8" and at 170 (after 50 lbs lost) am a size 12. I don't think that a size 4 is even possible for me. It took probably 30 lbs lost before anyone really noticed. I will say, though, as I get closer to goal people notice smaller increments, but that could be as a result of the exercise and lost inches, too.

ramble away.

Ok, ladies. I am going to bed. Morning comes early.

Kat, hows the jobber going? Has your town had a gas shortage?

Job is going great so far. We had a gas shortage, I guess, but I mainly ignored it. Thankfully I am only having to fill up every other week now.

Um, no! This I did not know. BowChickbowbow

You guys are really too kind to me. xxoo

Deb, great job on couch 2 5K day one done! It's hot in Ohio this week too and I'm going to write a letter. It's supposed to be 74 and beautiful.

This morning ladies, I am in a much better mindset. Sunday night I went to bed with a headache and woke up in a fog.

Today I am clear and ready to tackle my demons.

See, I actually did buy new jeans on Sunday. &()E#&* Jeans. I hate them. I have such issues in my head. I went to the store and all these other women were shopping. And I immediately shut down. I spend so much time obsessing about what other women are thinking when they look at my slothly self. And I know they are not. I mean who am I? And I'm not judging them by their choices. But I guess I feel like such a fake. The "me" I want to be, wants to buy beautiful stylish things that don't fit the "me" I am, who doesn't deserve them anyway.

So I pull one pair of jeans out. Boot cut. check. Hustle to the dressing room. Pull on. Whatever. They don't look good, but what is going to look good. I get into the line. Buy. Done. I hate them. I walk to my pretty car, that I don't match. Get in, and proceed to sit for like 20 minutes. Lots of things rolling. How far I have to go to be who I want to be. Like, so totally far that 10 cream donuts will make me feel better. (I didn't go there, thankfully, but was tempted.)

At this point I am rambling. But I know you all have been there and can commiserate. I was even thinking about SBF. Which I don't think I have, just cause I have bigger offending fat. But the term came to mind. lol.

Yesterday I was in a funk. And wearing the offending jeans. Today, I feel a little better, and will probably wear old faithful. Hole and all.

Now that I have depressed you...


adding - I do realize there are worse things happening in the world than my life.

Jeans shopping is the worst.


Erika, your children, and you, are beautiful. And I do think they look like you.

Okay, I am too tired to write more. Need more coffee. Dragging a$$ today. Maybe I will have more wisdom to impart later.

 

[Astro Orbiter]

Um, no! This I did not know. BowChickbowbow

You guys are really too kind to me. xxoo

Deb, great job on couch 2 5K day one done! It's hot in Ohio this week too and I'm going to write a letter. It's supposed to be 74 and beautiful.

This morning ladies, I am in a much better mindset. Sunday night I went to bed with a headache and woke up in a fog.

Today I am clear and ready to tackle my demons.

See, I actually did buy new jeans on Sunday. &()E#&* Jeans. I hate them. I have such issues in my head. I went to the store and all these other women were shopping. And I immediately shut down. I spend so much time obsessing about what other women are thinking when they look at my slothly self. And I know they are not. I mean who am I? And I'm not judging them by their choices. But I guess I feel like such a fake. The "me" I want to be, wants to buy beautiful stylish things that don't fit the "me" I am, who doesn't deserve them anyway.

So I pull one pair of jeans out. Boot cut. check. Hustle to the dressing room. Pull on. Whatever. They don't look good, but what is going to look good. I get into the line. Buy. Done. I hate them. I walk to my pretty car, that I don't match. Get in, and proceed to sit for like 20 minutes. Lots of things rolling. How far I have to go to be who I want to be. Like, so totally far that 10 cream donuts will make me feel better. (I didn't go there, thankfully, but was tempted.)

At this point I am rambling. But I know you all have been there and can commiserate. I was even thinking about SBF. Which I don't think I have, just cause I have bigger offending fat. But the term came to mind. lol.

Yesterday I was in a funk. And wearing the offending jeans. Today, I feel a little better, and will probably wear old faithful. Hole and all.

Now that I have depressed you...


adding - I do realize there are worse things happening in the world than my life.

Buying jeans sucks. I need to get in the market but I'm a-skeered of it. I have one pair that's too big (constantly hiking up) and one pair that doesn't quite fit again yet (for wearing to work, anyways).

Lyz--but you see, you HAVE come so far. You have tackled the dreadmill and the bike and have been putting time in there.

But far more importantly, you are tackling the mental crap. And if you ask me, that is the biggest part of the battle. Once your mind is in it, it is full steam ahead, you know?

And let's not forget that you resisted the donuts!

I am starting my tracking today, too. Race--check. Not I gotta deal with the fat. And I DO have SBF. It has to go. HAS to. Wanna track with me? You know I hate it. HATE it. But I will do it.

SBF? I'm missing something.

WOO HOO Deb! So what did you think? Did you like it? hate it? Was it too easy? Too hard? Do you feel like you can stick with this and it will work for you?

Running - OK. 1.3 miles, 23 minutes. Different muscles than biking. I can feel my inner thighs twinging, but have no other current issues. I do need to invest in some more heavy-duty sports bras as I hate the girls moving around. Ask me again tomorrow night.

Love The Pictures E~ You look Great!!! Kids are beautiful


Hello I had tears TOO!


Flirting is great I do it all the time! I flirt at work with patients and with DR and other men folk ... It makes me feel like I am on a high sometimes!


OK so now you have something to work for making yourself look good in these jeans! I plan on going and buying myself a pair this week ... umm just because I don't have any anymore they are all to big and I gave them away!

So I took a ME day yesterday and went for lunch and a movie with a friend and the Movie was ok It was the "WOMEN" ok not great but did see some previews that I must go back to see! I did good at lunch we headed to applebees and I had a HUGE glass of water and a very tiny caesar salad and a crock of Onion soup. Then at the movies I got a FREE small pop corna nd Beth and I shared it and we only managed to eat half of it. Threw the rest out. I went to weight watchers and was dreading it on two levels one because I have gain back weight this week and two because my mother was going to be there and I had to deal with her! I have not seen or spoken to my mother in 22 days. Remember she doesn't like my house and talked to my best friends about it! and PISSED ME OFF! She acted like nothing happened and talked to me I kept it on a social level and only answered when I had to! Then MY HUSBAND! Noticed I didn't put DH because he isn't DEAR! He drove me to WW and went and feed kids and got gas, I text him saying I am all done and he tells sam to text me back and say that they are at his mothers and I should have MY MOTHER DRIVE ME UP THERE! WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I had to fold because I was freezing shorts and a t-shirt in 53 degree weather isn't great! I managed small talk and told her that within the next two weeks I will be needing my grandparents dining room set. She mentioned that she noticed that the people are moved out and that was it! Good bye thanks for the ride in the house I went. I gave the look of death to stephen and told him he was an A$$. He laughed and thought it was funny!
Ok I have to go get dressed I need to bring Zac over to Burlington, VT for a check up with the endocrinologist.
Oh IN weight I gained 2.9 pounds! DAM TOM! or is it GUSTAV?

I should be on later today!!!

Bad husband! I'd give DH the look of death, too. And what someone else said about your mom - deal or let it go. I didn't deal, and some days I regret it.


Deb

 

[3DisneyKids]

SBF? I'm missing something.

Running - OK. 1.3 miles, 23 minutes. Different muscles than biking. I can feel my inner thighs twinging, but have no other current issues. I do need to invest in some more heavy-duty sports bras as I hate the girls moving around. Ask me again tomorrow night.

Ah yes, SBF....this is a hold-over term from the first thread. Side-back-fat. Pleasant, huh? Back fat is the worst. Yuck. Mine is almost gone...but still there enough to piss me off.

 

[Astro Orbiter]

Um, no! This I did not know. BowChickbowbow

You guys are really too kind to me. xxoo

Deb, great job on couch 2 5K day one done! It's hot in Ohio this week too and I'm going to write a letter. It's supposed to be 74 and beautiful.

This morning ladies, I am in a much better mindset. Sunday night I went to bed with a headache and woke up in a fog.

Today I am clear and ready to tackle my demons.

See, I actually did buy new jeans on Sunday. &()E#&* Jeans. I hate them. I have such issues in my head. I went to the store and all these other women were shopping. And I immediately shut down. I spend so much time obsessing about what other women are thinking when they look at my slothly self. And I know they are not. I mean who am I? And I'm not judging them by their choices. But I guess I feel like such a fake. The "me" I want to be, wants to buy beautiful stylish things that don't fit the "me" I am, who doesn't deserve them anyway.

So I pull one pair of jeans out. Boot cut. check. Hustle to the dressing room. Pull on. Whatever. They don't look good, but what is going to look good. I get into the line. Buy. Done. I hate them. I walk to my pretty car, that I don't match. Get in, and proceed to sit for like 20 minutes. Lots of things rolling. How far I have to go to be who I want to be. Like, so totally far that 10 cream donuts will make me feel better. (I didn't go there, thankfully, but was tempted.)

At this point I am rambling. But I know you all have been there and can commiserate. I was even thinking about SBF. Which I don't think I have, just cause I have bigger offending fat. But the term came to mind. lol.

Yesterday I was in a funk. And wearing the offending jeans. Today, I feel a little better, and will probably wear old faithful. Hole and all.

Now that I have depressed you...


adding - I do realize there are worse things happening in the world than my life.

Buying jeans sucks. I need to get in the market but I'm a-skeered of it. I have one pair that's too big (constantly hiking up) and one pair that doesn't quite fit again yet (for wearing to work, anyways).

Lyz--but you see, you HAVE come so far. You have tackled the dreadmill and the bike and have been putting time in there.

But far more importantly, you are tackling the mental crap. And if you ask me, that is the biggest part of the battle. Once your mind is in it, it is full steam ahead, you know?

And let's not forget that you resisted the donuts!

I am starting my tracking today, too. Race--check. Not I gotta deal with the fat. And I DO have SBF. It has to go. HAS to. Wanna track with me? You know I hate it. HATE it. But I will do it.

SBF? I'm missing something.

WOO HOO Deb! So what did you think? Did you like it? hate it? Was it too easy? Too hard? Do you feel like you can stick with this and it will work for you?

Running - OK. 1.3 miles, 23 minutes. Different muscles than biking. I can feel my inner thighs twinging, but have no other current issues. I do need to invest in some more heavy-duty sports bras as I hate the girls moving around. Ask me again tomorrow night.

Love The Pictures E~ You look Great!!! Kids are beautiful


Hello I had tears TOO!


Flirting is great I do it all the time! I flirt at work with patients and with DR and other men folk ... It makes me feel like I am on a high sometimes!


OK so now you have something to work for making yourself look good in these jeans! I plan on going and buying myself a pair this week ... umm just because I don't have any anymore they are all to big and I gave them away!

So I took a ME day yesterday and went for lunch and a movie with a friend and the Movie was ok It was the "WOMEN" ok not great but did see some previews that I must go back to see! I did good at lunch we headed to applebees and I had a HUGE glass of water and a very tiny caesar salad and a crock of Onion soup. Then at the movies I got a FREE small pop corna nd Beth and I shared it and we only managed to eat half of it. Threw the rest out. I went to weight watchers and was dreading it on two levels one because I have gain back weight this week and two because my mother was going to be there and I had to deal with her! I have not seen or spoken to my mother in 22 days. Remember she doesn't like my house and talked to my best friends about it! and PISSED ME OFF! She acted like nothing happened and talked to me I kept it on a social level and only answered when I had to! Then MY HUSBAND! Noticed I didn't put DH because he isn't DEAR! He drove me to WW and went and feed kids and got gas, I text him saying I am all done and he tells sam to text me back and say that they are at his mothers and I should have MY MOTHER DRIVE ME UP THERE! WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I had to fold because I was freezing shorts and a t-shirt in 53 degree weather isn't great! I managed small talk and told her that within the next two weeks I will be needing my grandparents dining room set. She mentioned that she noticed that the people are moved out and that was it! Good bye thanks for the ride in the house I went. I gave the look of death to stephen and told him he was an A$$. He laughed and thought it was funny!
Ok I have to go get dressed I need to bring Zac over to Burlington, VT for a check up with the endocrinologist.
Oh IN weight I gained 2.9 pounds! DAM TOM! or is it GUSTAV?

I should be on later today!!!

Bad husband! I'd give DH the look of death, too. And what someone else said about your mom - deal or let it go. I didn't deal, and some days I regret it.


Deb

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I knew you guys would make me feel better. Stupied Jeans.

Steph - I guess I didn't realize you were still holding out with your mom. Awkard.

E - I remember it as "stupied back fat."

"Bad Clothes Image Week" - definately.

You ladies are the best.

Oh and Deb, you are using Erica's beloved purple. And she doesn't play well with others. I'm just sayin'.

 

[3DisneyKids]

And the reality is that I don't even like purple much. Totally not one of my fav colors. But somehow I adopted it here. And now, that is just how it is. Right?

 

[Astro Orbiter]

I knew you guys would make me feel better. Stupied Jeans.

Steph - I guess I didn't realize you were still holding out with your mom. Awkard.

E - I remember it as "stupied back fat."

"Bad Clothes Image Week" - definately.

You ladies are the best.

Oh and Deb, you are using Erica's beloved purple. And she doesn't play well with others. I'm just sayin'.

I'm not sorry about the purple. Today, anyways. What's she gonna do? Run down here (way more than 13.1 miles, but I'm sure she can do it!) and stop me? Today's my birthday. And it's a big one... I can do anything I want. (So then why did I just sit though 4 hours on Work Breakdown Structures?)

No one told me about SBF, and no one told me purple was reserved.

Eriks, if you don't like purple, don't hold on to it. Let it be free, for other people to choose. There are 39 other little boxes you can click on - more, by the time you consider Bold, Italic, and Underline as well...

And, again, Stupid Jeans. It sucks. I'm holding out, but as we're probably heading north for Thanksgiving jeans will be required.

Deb

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I'm not sorry about the purple. Today, anyways. What's she gonna do? Run down here (way more than 13.1 miles, but I'm sure she can do it!) and stop me?
Deb

Deb, ornery, you are!

That's right, today IS your birthday. I totally forgot. I was so into myself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEB!!!! what kinda cake you havin'?

Speaking of birthdays, Liz, I never heard what you got? Hmmm, anything more exciting than the inlaws token gift?

 

[lisaviolet]

Um, no! This I did not know. BowChickbowbow

You guys are really too kind to me. xxoo

Deb, great job on couch 2 5K day one done! It's hot in Ohio this week too and I'm going to write a letter. It's supposed to be 74 and beautiful.

This morning ladies, I am in a much better mindset. Sunday night I went to bed with a headache and woke up in a fog.

Today I am clear and ready to tackle my demons.

See, I actually did buy new jeans on Sunday. &()E#&* Jeans. I hate them. I have such issues in my head. I went to the store and all these other women were shopping. And I immediately shut down. I spend so much time obsessing about what other women are thinking when they look at my slothly self. And I know they are not. I mean who am I? And I'm not judging them by their choices. But I guess I feel like such a fake. The "me" I want to be, wants to buy beautiful stylish things that don't fit the "me" I am, who doesn't deserve them anyway.

So I pull one pair of jeans out. Boot cut. check. Hustle to the dressing room. Pull on. Whatever. They don't look good, but what is going to look good. I get into the line. Buy. Done. I hate them. I walk to my pretty car, that I don't match. Get in, and proceed to sit for like 20 minutes. Lots of things rolling. How far I have to go to be who I want to be. Like, so totally far that 10 cream donuts will make me feel better. (I didn't go there, thankfully, but was tempted.)

At this point I am rambling. But I know you all have been there and can commiserate. I was even thinking about SBF. Which I don't think I have, just cause I have bigger offending fat. But the term came to mind. lol.

Yesterday I was in a funk. And wearing the offending jeans. Today, I feel a little better, and will probably wear old faithful. Hole and all.

Now that I have depressed you...


adding - I do realize there are worse things happening in the world than my life.

You know I'll keep reading this. And I will keep being compassionate. And I know it all. Have been there. But I will keep saying over and over and over that in this short time that I've been here I think you are such a spectacular woman. Lyz, you made me not feel scared to be here. That's huge. So funny, so kind, so sensitive to people's needs, so loving, so flippin' cute. And I'll annoy you and annoy you and annoy you because I simply won't shut up.

Lyz--but you see, you HAVE come so far. You have tackled the dreadmill and the bike and have been putting time in there.

But far more importantly, you are tackling the mental crap. And if you ask me, that is the biggest part of the battle. Once your mind is in it, it is full steam ahead, you know?

Agreed. So true. That's my story. People ask me about my weight loss and honestly I say it has more to do with tackling demons than any kind of program. Well I don't say denons just say I have a few things to work out and suddenly - voila the weight has come off. And no I don't openly talk about demons at all. It's just that dreaded AIM.

Flirting is great I do it all the time! I flirt at work with patients and with DR and other men folk ... It makes me feel like I am on a high sometimes!

Love you Steph!!! And I'm not even flirting.

I have a theory. I know that some people think flirting leads to sex. But I think differently. I think flirting leads to feeling alive and happy. Coming from me - Miss can't say sex that's a biggie. I think we are missing out. I just think in the right context it's lovely. My parents' generation was full of flirts. Full. My parents were, and still are, the most social people I know. And they are, geez, nearing mid seventies. So young they seem.

Good morning everyone!!

Erika, I hope you are feeling better today. Thanks for the pic on the Super Goofs thread, it was great!!! And, yes the WDW half is fun, fun and meant to be fun. The only hills are Contemporary Hill which is short and sweet (although steep) and then the overpass into EPCOT at the end (which caused spewing of cuss words from me). Otherwise, it is flat, flat and did I mention fun????

Deb, welcome to the wonderful world of running!! How did it feel? I would ask the questions Erika asked all over again. So tell us so I don't have to put the hyper smilie in here!!!!

Lyz, nothing is more important in the world when you feel the way you do about the jeans and shopping. First up, let me reassure you that all the smaller people in the store are comparing themselves to everyone else just like you were. We all do it, no matter our size. Secondly, fit is an issue for everyone too. I may be smaller but I cannot find jeans that fit. My legs are very muscular from years of lifting and my current running career. I am not one of those lean beanpoles, I am more of a beefy girl myself (and yes I am proud of that). If I find jeans that fit my waist, they are not made for my legs; if they fit my legs, they are not made for my waist. I figure you have to be built kind of like an ethiopian Barbie doll to look perfect in jeans today.

Love the person that you are and do the best to dress the person that you are right now. Remember that dressing poorly only makes you look worse (I have this conversation with my sweatpants every day mother). You are a beautiful person inside and out and you have to be the one to see that, not just us. I struggle with my own self-esteem issues daily so I truly feel your pain very deeply.

And hey, you got new clothes and you resisted doughnuts. Win-win right!!!! Hang in there!

Everyone else, I hope you are all having a terrific day. It is nice crisp and cool here just waiting for me to get done work and hit a quick 7 mile tempo run today. Two more weeks to my half marathon!!!!!!

Aaah. Loved the post Lisa. It's actually how I feel. Loved reading it.

I was 237 when I started, and when I lost a little bit, like 25lbs, no one noticed. But they also didn't think I needed to lose 87lbs. I carry it well. Of course they see the before and now pics and DIE with the difference. I"m going to have to post the birthday 07 and birthday 08's for you.

Well, I didn't explain myself properly. The problem is it isn't 25 pounds. The last 25 came very quickly, by my rates , in four months. That's not the total. My family has hardly noticed the total not just the 25!!! But then again I shut people down and they had to notice over a long period of time - years and years.

I've lost about, can't say because I never did the scale before BL, 60 probably. Maybe more or maybe less. The before pics I posted are about 35 or 40 pounds ago. I don't have real before pics. I lost weight so slowly - over about eight or ten years - that digital wasn't around!!!! Well, I'm sure it was around but not in my world. One day I'll take a picture of an old picture.

Also, others have noticed for sure. My family is just funny.

I wish I had a now pic for you all besides my face shot but my battery is dead and I have other money priorities. Expensive battery I mean. I do have dollar store money.

But Liz. Please post the pics. I adore seeing all your success. Adore it.

I cannot wear the ON jeans for the SAME reason, too tight on the calves. Everytime I sit down, they don't stand back up with me. Try American Eagle boyfriend cut jeans, really. They are not just for teenagers!!!

Oh gosh, when I have moulah I'm going to try these. Thanks Lisa.

Yup... I guess I have some social skills that need developing....



you got that part right.... it took me weeks to get everyone's names and background info straight... In a pinch, I do answer to hey you...


Paula

Thanks Paula. Social skills - nah. He just hasn't found you yet!!!! Or vice versa.

Wow, y'all have been chatty!! I didn't get online last night, because I didn't get home from hockey (well, from having a beer after) until after 12:30.



Lisa, I am with you. Not small at all. I am 5'8" and at 170 (after 50 lbs lost) am a size 12. I don't think that a size 4 is even possible for me. It took probably 30 lbs lost before anyone really noticed. I will say, though, as I get closer to goal people notice smaller increments, but that could be as a result of the exercise and lost inches, too.

.

Hi Kat!!!!

Congratulations on your weight loss. Yeah, exercise - even when the scale doesn't move - is a biggie. Some can change their shape and not even lose a pound.

Honestly, I don't want to be small. I know that's tough for many to understand. But I don't. Twelve regular is good for me. I'm a 14 plus right now and 16 regular. I'm not meant to be small. And I know that now 100%. I accept me. And I'm not in denial folks.

This is how righted I am in my head. I love "righted". West Indians use it all the time. He's not righted. Okay back to regular programming. I saw pictures recently of when I lost a lot of weight at 13. I looked sick. And I wasn't even skinny. Because I can't look like that I mean. The weight just didn't fit my bones. It just didn't. You know when the bones are bigger than the body. Hard to explain. And I shed a tear for her. Me. Because I'm sure I thought yeah I look fabulous. I'm so happy. I look like every other girl. I've done it. And everyone around me was congratulating me on the loss. And that's sick in some ways. Because it didn't look good or most importantly healthy. And it took to 41 to realize that. Someone I loved used to tell me that all the time. He didn't see me at my heaviest. But saw me up 20 or 30 pounds from even now. Not the before pics I put up sort of in between. He said, "Lisa you're not fat. You're just meant to be that way. It's just that way you are". It's funny that guys sometimes get what women don't.

You know someone told me how fabulous I looked on the weekend. She was going on excited about the weight loss and I wasn't overly excited. I know part of that is abuse and that it made me not want to be noticed. But I also protect all parts of me. In that - I'm fine now. I was fine 60 pounds ago. I'll be fine smaller. It's still me. I was polite and said thank you. But - hmmm. I'm rambling. Okay, better stop.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous day!!!!!!

Lisa

 

[lisaviolet]

Happy Birthday Deb!!!


Here's to a fabulous day.

Lisa

 

[lisaviolet]

Oh and Deb, you are using Erica's beloved purple. And she doesn't play well with others. I'm just sayin'.

And loved Deb's response!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

You know I'll keep reading this. And I will keep being compassionate. And I know it all. Have been there. But I will keep saying over and over and over that in this short time that I've been here I think you are such a spectacular woman. Lyz, you made me not feel scared to be here. That's huge. So funny, so kind, so sensitive to people's needs, so loving, so flippin' cute. And I'll annoy you and annoy you and annoy you because I simply won't shut up.

You talkin' bout me Willis? Foreign. But thank you. I'm glad you feel safe here and I had something to do with it. Kindred women. Here. One of these days I'll feel as cute as you think.

Agreed. So true. That's my story. People ask me about my weight loss and honestly I say it has more to do with tackling demons than any kind of program. Well I don't say denons just say I have a few things to work out and suddenly - voila the weight has come off. And no I don't openly talk about demons at all. It's just that dreaded AIM.

Yes, my demons are fierce. My head is a battle ground.

I have a theory. I know that some people think flirting leads to sex. But I think differently. I think flirting leads to feeling alive and happy. Coming from me - Miss can't say sex that's a biggie. I think we are missing out. I just think in the right context it's lovely. My parents' generation was full of flirts. Full. My parents were, and still are, the most social people I know. And they are, geez, nearing mid seventies. So young they seem.

Yes, I see what you mean.

Honestly, I don't want to be small. I know that's tough for many to understand. But I don't. Twelve regular is good for me. I'm a 14 plus right now and 16 regular. I'm not meant to be small. And I know that now 100%. I accept me. And I'm not in denial folks.

I don't want to be small either. I want to be comfortable, and not hot, and able to shop. I don't like the super skinny look. At all.

This is how righted I am in my head.

 

[goofyfan-12]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEB!!!!!!!!!

Here's to the big one....

Enjoy your special day!!!!!

Paula

 

[MunkyMe13]

Hey ladies,
Sorry so little from me lately... Work is being crappy... Not making enough sales yet I can stop to take pictures of stones and do someone elses job. Or even better when I ask to look at a stone get sent back to my desk for being disrespectful! All because I didn't say good morning... Good grief I have never worked anywhere so unprofessional EVER! Needless to say I've not been a happy camper... I need to get more motivated to work out... Thing I am going to make an angry music mix and just work it all out... a punching bag would be nice about now... Thats about all here.... Bad weekend food wise... only gained 2 lbs tho which isn't terrible... but I will be working to lose it all week... Oh well... Kinda not feeling the motivation... Work is sucking the life out of me...

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Gosh Munk! Sounds like a horrible day! For sure.

 

[MunkyMe13]

Gosh Munk! Sounds like a horrible day! For sure.

Thanks I need all the hugs I can get today... lol... DH even offered to watch a Disney movie with me when we gets home tonight... Hes so sweet when he wants to be...

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hey ladies,
Sorry so little from me lately... Work is being crappy... Not making enough sales yet I can stop to take pictures of stones and do someone elses job. Or even better when I ask to look at a stone get sent back to my desk for being disrespectful! All because I didn't say good morning... Good grief I have never worked anywhere so unprofessional EVER! Needless to say I've not been a happy camper... I need to get more motivated to work out... Thing I am going to make an angry music mix and just work it all out... a punching bag would be nice about now... Thats about all here.... Bad weekend food wise... only gained 2 lbs tho which isn't terrible... but I will be working to lose it all week... Oh well... Kinda not feeling the motivation... Work is sucking the life out of me...

Sarah - I am sorry to hear that work is not going so well for you right now... I have no idea what you do other than you are on the phone a lot trying to sell a high end item in a really crappy economy.... The fact that the people you work with are crabby isn't helping at all.... So - any other career opportunities out there for you.... Life is too short to have a crappy job and it does suck all of the life out of you.... (been there, done that...). Ask yourself why you are staying there... it may be time for a change...

just a thought... feel free to tell me that I am full of it if you think that I am and I will shut up....

In the meantime - enjoy your Disney movie tonight and I hope things get better for you soon....

Paula

 

[Astro Orbiter]

Hey ladies,
Sorry so little from me lately... Work is being crappy... Not making enough sales yet I can stop to take pictures of stones and do someone elses job. Or even better when I ask to look at a stone get sent back to my desk for being disrespectful! All because I didn't say good morning... Good grief I have never worked anywhere so unprofessional EVER! Needless to say I've not been a happy camper... I need to get more motivated to work out... Thing I am going to make an angry music mix and just work it all out... a punching bag would be nice about now... Thats about all here.... Bad weekend food wise... only gained 2 lbs tho which isn't terrible... but I will be working to lose it all week... Oh well... Kinda not feeling the motivation... Work is sucking the life out of me...

And, a word of advice. Don't punch the wall instead of a punching bag! I know not 1, but 2 people that have broken bones (1 foot, 1 arm) punching the wall and hit the wall studs!

Deb

 

[MunkyMe13]

Sarah - I am sorry to hear that work is not going so well for you right now... I have no idea what you do other than you are on the phone a lot trying to sell a high end item in a really crappy economy.... The fact that the people you work with are crabby isn't helping at all.... So - any other career opportunities out there for you.... Life is too short to have a crappy job and it does suck all of the life out of you.... (been there, done that...). Ask yourself why you are staying there... it may be time for a change...

just a thought... feel free to tell me that I am full of it if you think that I am and I will shut up....

In the meantime - enjoy your Disney movie tonight and I hope things get better for you soon....

Paula

With the economy as such I'm trying not to burn my bridges here because I get paid fairly well... I'm the bread winner right now due to some financial issues on DH's end from poor choices we made early in our marriage... So as much as I want to there isn't much I can do.. He wants to try to get me into his company as soon as they go through their changes. So we'll see... Its just so rough... I don't think you are full of it at all I think DH chose Robin Hood so I'm gonna take my nap, work out, eat my southwest caesar salad and watch that.

 

[HockeyKat]

You know I'll keep reading this. And I will keep being compassionate. And I know it all. Have been there. But I will keep saying over and over and over that in this short time that I've been here I think you are such a spectacular woman. Lyz, you made me not feel scared to be here. That's huge. So funny, so kind, so sensitive to people's needs, so loving, so flippin' cute. And I'll annoy you and annoy you and annoy you because I simply won't shut up.



Agreed. So true. That's my story. People ask me about my weight loss and honestly I say it has more to do with tackling demons than any kind of program. Well I don't say denons just say I have a few things to work out and suddenly - voila the weight has come off. And no I don't openly talk about demons at all. It's just that dreaded AIM.

...

Hi Kat!!!!

Congratulations on your weight loss. Yeah, exercise - even when the scale doesn't move - is a biggie. Some can change their shape and not even lose a pound.

Honestly, I don't want to be small. I know that's tough for many to understand. But I don't. Twelve regular is good for me. I'm a 14 plus right now and 16 regular. I'm not meant to be small. And I know that now 100%. I accept me. And I'm not in denial folks.

This is how righted I am in my head. I love "righted". West Indians use it all the time. He's not righted. Okay back to regular programming. I saw pictures recently of when I lost a lot of weight at 13. I looked sick. And I wasn't even skinny. Because I can't look like that I mean. The weight just didn't fit my bones. It just didn't. You know when the bones are bigger than the body. Hard to explain. And I shed a tear for her. Me. Because I'm sure I thought yeah I look fabulous. I'm so happy. I look like every other girl. I've done it. And everyone around me was congratulating me on the loss. And that's sick in some ways. Because it didn't look good or most importantly healthy. And it took to 41 to realize that. Someone I loved used to tell me that all the time. He didn't see me at my heaviest. But saw me up 20 or 30 pounds from even now. Not the before pics I put up sort of in between. He said, "Lisa you're not fat. You're just meant to be that way. It's just that way you are". It's funny that guys sometimes get what women don't.

You know someone told me how fabulous I looked on the weekend. She was going on excited about the weight loss and I wasn't overly excited. I know part of that is abuse and that it made me not want to be noticed. But I also protect all parts of me. In that - I'm fine now. I was fine 60 pounds ago. I'll be fine smaller. It's still me. I was polite and said thank you. But - hmmm. I'm rambling. Okay, better stop.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous day!!!!!!

Lisa

Okay, I already love you for loving on my friend Lyz, who needs it so much. Thanks.

I know what you mean about the super skinny thing. I am just not built petite. Nor do I really want to be, anymore. I would like to get back to a 10 or so (so I don't have to buy new clothes), and then maintain there and stay healthy/fit.

Thanks for the congrats!

And so with ya on the head thing. Weight gain is rarely about the food we put in our mouths, it is about the reason WHY we are putting that food in our mouths.