In light of the "mean to my 4 year old thread"... what would you think about this?

[MM27]

I don't go to restaurants to entertain other people's children. I wouldn't have even engaged in conversation with the child. I would say hello, but that's all they would get from me.

I'm not rude, but if I'm out with someone, I want to spend my time talking to that person/people. Parents need to understand that as cute as they believe their kids are, others don't feel that way.

 

[Tina]

Also, consider that some couple dining there may have hired their own babysitter so that they could enjoy an adult evening out. Why on earth should they have to deal with this rude couple's child? While I would not have been mean to the child, I would not have been all that friendly. I would either addressed the parents or spoken to the manager. I know some managers choose to do nothing, but what would they rather have? One angry family? or a restaurant full?

 

[Papa Deuce]

Since when is Outback opened for lunch? Its one of those night time only chains.

Might have been Longhorn,.

 

[happygirl]

Might have been Longhorn,.

Outback are open here for lunch during the Christmas season

 

[shortbun]

I wouldn't have been annoyed with the child speaking to me during my meal, but I do think letting them roam freely around a restaurant is putting her in danger and possibly others.

I don't. It's a public place and we all need to watch out for each other. Perhaps we need to slow our pace down a bit if a casual restaurant is a 'dangerous' place for a child to be walking around. I'm not a fan of fast paced people to begin with-those who weave in and out of traffic to get ahead, those who park illegally because they're in a hurry, those who place stress on others to satisfy their own expectations....all of 'em are on my 'special people' list. Slow down folks, let's enjoy the little ones and calmly, slowly eat our meals. If I want a quick meal, I pop a microwave dinner in the box. If you're in a hurry, make a peanut butter sandwich. Sit back, look around and enjoy humanity - or- stay home. At least, that's my opinion.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I challenge the notion that a 4 year old is going to get "swooped up" and kidnapped in a crowded space in a moment's notice. Can anyone point to an incidence where that has actually happened?

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, it happens about 50,000 times per year. (See Timeline.)

It's why Sam's Club and WalMart instituted what's called a Code Adam, which has been similarly adopted by thousands of retail outlets and was also mandated by Congress for Federal office buildings.

Frankly, I'm surprised to see someone unaware of this. Have you ever heard of John Walsh?

 

[clovergirl5]

I agree, kids should be sitting with their parents at their table and not roaming around talking to everyone. I do not want to be bothered when Im trying to eat. Now if the mom was trying to get the child to stay at the table than I could give her some credit, but it sounds like she didn't care.

Im gonna turn the tables....we went out to Red Robin a few months ago, all 7 of us...my kids are very good and quiet when we are out to eat (all the great compliments come at those outings ). The waitress stood at our table for at least 10 minutes engaging my kids in conversation. And when you get my kids talking, they want to go on and on about everything in their lives LOL. She actually squatted down to the table, put her arms up on it and made herself at home. It was annoying. Say Hi, and then go away until we are ready to order. She started talking about other customers in the restaurant I DON'T CARE, IM HUNGRY!

 

[MIGrandma]

I don't. It's a public place and we all need to watch out for each other. Perhaps we need to slow our pace down a bit if a casual restaurant is a 'dangerous' place for a child to be walking around. I'm not a fan of fast paced people to begin with-those who weave in and out of traffic to get ahead, those who park illegally because they're in a hurry, those who place stress on others to satisfy their own expectations....all of 'em are on my 'special people' list. Slow down folks, let's enjoy the little ones and calmly, slowly eat our meals. If I want a quick meal, I pop a microwave dinner in the box. If you're in a hurry, make a peanut butter sandwich. Sit back, look around and enjoy humanity - or- stay home. At least, that's my opinion.

You're definitely entitled to your own opinion, about how YOU feel towards children. But don't try to tell the rest of us to "watch out for each other", or "slow down and enjoy the little ones." Good grief!! Not all of us enjoy other people's kids. That isn't wrong. It may be different from your view, but it's still not wrong.

And yes, a restaurant is a dangerous place for children to be running around unsupervised. Have you ever worked as a waitress? Even if the waitstaff is walking slowly, they still might not see a child get in their way until it's too late and they've tripped over the kid, dropped their entire tray of food on his or her head and then you have a hurt child. Wouldn't happen if the kid was sitting in his seat.

And when a restaurant is busy, and you've got food to bring to table #6, drinks to refill at table #2, orders to take at table #12, a side order of extra gravy to bring to the lady at table #4, etc. etc. you're not going to be walking slowly and non-challantly to get it all done. You're going to be hurrying, in order to take care of everyone's needs. Having kids in your way just slows the process down, and could cause them injury. It's a fact.

 

[MIGrandma]

I agree, kids should be sitting with their parents at their table and not roaming around talking to everyone. I do not want to be bothered when Im trying to eat. Now if the mom was trying to get the child to stay at the table than I could give her some credit, but it sounds like she didn't care.

Im gonna turn the tables....we went out to Red Robin a few months ago, all 7 of us...my kids are very good and quiet when we are out to eat (all the great compliments come at those outings ). The waitress stood at our table for at least 10 minutes engaging my kids in conversation. And when you get my kids talking, they want to go on and on about everything in their lives LOL. She actually squatted down to the table, put her arms up on it and made herself at home. It was annoying. Say Hi, and then go away until we are ready to order. She started talking about other customers in the restaurant I DON'T CARE, IM HUNGRY!

It is pretty well known to those in the serving business that when a server engages the children in conversation, the parents usually love it, thus upping that server's tip a little. And "getting down to their level" when speaking to children usually puts the children at ease a little more. Maybe your server didn't notice you were annoyed by it, or she didn't have very many tables so had the time to chat.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Obviously the parent didn't mind the child bothering other patrons, that way she wasn't bothering them!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, it happens about 50,000 times per year. (See Timeline.)

It's why Sam's Club and WalMart instituted what's called a Code Adam, which has been similarly adopted by thousands of retail outlets and was also mandated by Congress for Federal office buildings.

Frankly, I'm surprised to see someone unaware of this. Have you ever heard of John Walshhttp://www.amw.com/about_amw/john_walsh.cfm?

I remember this vividly like it was yesterday.

He would have turned 35 a few days ago, can you believe that?

 

[happygirl]

I agree, kids should be sitting with their parents at their table and not roaming around talking to everyone. I do not want to be bothered when Im trying to eat. Now if the mom was trying to get the child to stay at the table than I could give her some credit, but it sounds like she didn't care.

Im gonna turn the tables....we went out to Red Robin a few months ago, all 7 of us...my kids are very good and quiet when we are out to eat (all the great compliments come at those outings ). The waitress stood at our table for at least 10 minutes engaging my kids in conversation. And when you get my kids talking, they want to go on and on about everything in their lives LOL. She actually squatted down to the table, put her arms up on it and made herself at home. It was annoying. Say Hi, and then go away until we are ready to order. She started talking about other customers in the restaurant I DON'T CARE, IM HUNGRY!

I like it when the server interacts with my kids, when I served I try to talk and interact with the kids as much as I could.

 

[clovergirl5]

It is pretty well known to those in the serving business that when a server engages the children in conversation, the parents usually love it, thus upping that server's tip a little. And "getting down to their level" when speaking to children usually puts the children at ease a little more. Maybe your server didn't notice you were annoyed by it, or she didn't have very many tables so had the time to chat.

Actually, it was lunchtime and quite busy. She was telling us about the soccer teams coming in to celebrate. There were soccer players everywhere in that place. It is nice to have waitresses acknowledge the kids and be nice to them, but she sure stood there a long time, talking about my dd2 beautiful smile, eyes and curly hair(her words). Other dd lost a tooth that day, so a conversation about that went on and other dd birthday. It was just a little on the long side.

eta....I would much rather have this kind of waitress than one that is snooty though. Just stood there a little to long imo.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I remember this vividly like it was yesterday.

He would have turned 35 a few days ago, can you believe that?

Wow. I caught the movie Adam on TV not too long ago and it was one of the saddest movies I've ever seen. I didn't realize that, back then (which really wasn't so long ago), there were virtually no systems in place to quickly track missing children. We have John Walsh, almost singlehandedly, to thank for starting the movement that propelled all the amazing systems we have in place (and probably take for granted) now. He, in my eyes, is an unsung hero. Probably the type of person none of us really appreciates until we ourselves have a child go missing.

 

[MIGrandma]

Actually, it was lunchtime and quite busy. She was telling us about the soccer teams coming in to celebrate. There were soccer players everywhere in that place. It is nice to have waitresses acknowledge the kids and be nice to them, but she sure stood there a long time, talking about my dd2 beautiful smile, eyes and curly hair(her words). Other dd lost a tooth that day, so a conversation about that went on and other dd birthday. It was just a little on the long side.

eta....I would much rather have this kind of waitress than one that is snooty though. Just stood there a little to long imo.

Even though it was lunchtime and the restaurant was busy, she might have been the last waitress to come in for work and didn't have many tables yet. Where I worked we all came in at different hours, so the last one to come in wasn't as busy as the others who'd been there longer and had more tables.

But still that's no real excuse to be standing at your table for 10 minutes. When I was the last one in and wasn't busy yet myself, I would help the other servers. Get drinks for them, answer the phone, help clear tables, etc.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

With that said, I think that a 4yo being allowed to wander aimlessly in a busy restaurant poses a far greater risk that she'll be harmed or cause harm to someone else than her being abducted. (Hopefully that came out right.) And for that I'd be really annoyed at the parents/family for allowing it. Waving hello over a bench is a lot different than this scenario, which, as PD pointed out, is dangerous on many fronts.

 

[JerseyJanice]

It's hard to imagine someone scooping up a kid in the middle of a restaurant and running away with her. Yes, I know what happened to Adam Walsh, but it's not something I would even have thought of if I were there. It might have worried me to see waitstaff rushing past the child carrying hot food.

All my life I have seen people who don't appear to supervise their children. It's irritating, but I never feel like it's any of my business to say anything to the parents. Except for maybe seeing a kid about to dart into traffic, I mind my own beeswax.

If a little kid walked up to my table in a restaurant to chat, I would ask her where her parents and then tell her that's where she needs to be. If the child were running around acting unruly, I might complain to my server. But I wouldn't entertain the child nor would I talk to her parents like the OP's wife did. Someone's 4 year-old is their own business, not mine.

 

[EMom]

I think it's pretty horrible that this kid was allowed to interrupt other people's dinners, but I challenge the notion that a 4 year old is going to get "swooped up" and kidnapped in a crowded space in a moment's notice. Can anyone point to an incidence where that has actually happened?

It happened to my 6 y.o. relative of mine a few years ago, thank you very much. She was kidnapped by a woman who wanted a child. It happened in a public setting, in full view of dozens of people and no one batted an eye. Thank God she was returned safely.

 

[klacey1]

I don't. It's a public place and we all need to watch out for each other. Perhaps we need to slow our pace down a bit if a casual restaurant is a 'dangerous' place for a child to be walking around. I'm not a fan of fast paced people to begin with-those who weave in and out of traffic to get ahead, those who park illegally because they're in a hurry, those who place stress on others to satisfy their own expectations....all of 'em are on my 'special people' list. Slow down folks, let's enjoy the little ones and calmly, slowly eat our meals. If I want a quick meal, I pop a microwave dinner in the box. If you're in a hurry, make a peanut butter sandwich. Sit back, look around and enjoy humanity - or- stay home. At least, that's my opinion.

"Enjoying humanity" is not entertaining someone else's rude child for free when I am trying to enjoy a nice meal. I love children, truly. However, I think it's incredible that you say people who don't want to be bothered by their meal are "special people." Expecting to hang out with a random child is not "placing stress on others to satisfy their own expectations.
Today, I was in Panera, waiting on line and a woman pushed her stroller next to me. Her son, who loooked to be 3-4 year old leaned over his stroller and yanked HARD on the zipper pull of my Coach purse. I smiled tersely and moved over again. His mom just said "Oh, saying hi? You're saying hi?" and started talking to her husband again. No-- "Don't touch other people's things." Then, he leans over to do it again, but I moved my purse out of the way, thankfully. Do you think I was not "enjoying humanity" but trying NOT to let a child possibly break my expensive bag? When he really should have known better, or, at least, should have been properly reprimanded by his mother. She just didn't care. And that's why children grow up to be snotty adults-- because their parents didn't care enough to tell them how to behave.

It happened to my 6 y.o. relative of mine a few years ago, thank you very much. She was kidnapped by a woman who wanted a child. It happened in a public setting, in full view of dozens of people and no one batted an eye. Thank God she was returned safely.

Thank goodness she was recovered!!

And I'm not too sure who said it, but I don't think allowing their kid to freely roam around a restaurant is parents teaching "independence." Independence is forcing your kid to suffer the consequences when they forget their homework, instead of rushing it to them. Letting them go on sleepovers. Bothering other people in restaurants, as well as possibly endangering themselves and waitresses is not independence.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

This makes sense in my head, so I hope it makes sense typed out

I would never be annoyed at a child being a child... happy, friendly, etc. I get that some people don't like being bothered by children and I think that there are pleasant and appropriate ways of handling that (ie... I thought the lady in the other thread was rude). I also think that kids (and animals) can brighten your world if you'd just give them a chance. But that's just me.

BUT... I expect parents to act like parents. In the "poker" thread, I thought the OP acted appropriately. In the scenario in this thread, she (they?) did not.