In a bit of a job dilemma

[Netty]

Hi
I work in a high school for pupils with ASD (autistic spectrum disorders), I have been working there as an LSA/support worker for nearly 5 years.
The pupils there vary from having aspergers, moderate learning disorders and also severe learning disorders.
I work with a class of moderates. They are all boys aged between 14-16 yrs.
Now what has happened is that 1 of them can be very violent, he has been contained and has behaved for a few years -until recently- he has viciously attacked and hurt numerous staff.
The result of this violent build up has been happening since last september/october, the attacks started just before Easter.
The result of all this is that his 1 to 1 has had to leave the class as he was starting to target her and also myself as his 2 to 1. we have both not been in class since easter.
I am off work with the stress of it all.
I am supposed to go back to work in September, and i really don't know what to do. The lad probably won't be there by then as they are looking for a secure unit for him.

I love my job, but i dont know whether i can face all the stress and violence that comes with it. I can understand why some are violent when its there only way of communicating-mainly the severe ones. i have been punched , kicked hit etc etc!
I want to leave my job and then some days i don't.
what i really want is for someone to tell me what to do...
sorry to post this, i have just got back from the docs with another sick note.
Thanks for listening to me.

 

[florida sun]

Aww hugs to you Jeanette Im so sorry that this is making you feel unwell.

I dont really know what to advise you to do, as you obviously love your job at certain times, but I can also understand why on days you dont want to go back, esp if its causing you so much stress. Have you thought about maybe taking a career change? Is there anything else that you would like to try your hand at??

 

[Netty]

Sue, I have been looking for another job as well, but there doesnt seem to be any available..i would like to stay with special needs.
I have even though of just going to work in Asda, but i have done shop work before and probably end up being bored, i don't know.

 

[jen_uk]

Well to start with this is for you

Its a hard decision to make, could you maybe go back in Sept and give yourself a deadline to decide by, perhaps say to yourself you will go back for half a term and if you are still feeling stressed etc then that's it you will leave. Have you thought about being an LSA in a different school/college without such severe disabilities? I have LSAs work in my class with my students that don't have disabilities as such but are academically weak. You would still get the job satisfaction but would not have to put up with the violence.

 

[jtlover]

I am sorry to hear that it is making you unwell.

You need to write it all down. You need 2 columns 1 positive and 1 negative and write details in each one. When you have written it down you need to look at it to work out which out ways your decision.

Good luck and I am sure you will make the right decision for you

 

[Netty]

Well to start with this is for you

Its a hard decision to make, could you maybe go back in Sept and give yourself a deadline to decide by, perhaps say to yourself you will go back for half a term and if you are still feeling stressed etc then that's it you will leave. Have you thought about being an LSA in a different school/college without such severe disabilities? I have LSAs work in my class with my students that don't have disabilities as such but are academically weak. You would still get the job satisfaction but would not have to put up with the violence.

good idea to go back to see if i still feel the same, i might do that, i think i need to go and see the head.

I am sorry to hear that it is making you unwell.

You need to write it all down. You need 2 columns 1 positive and 1 negative and write details in each one. When you have written it down you need to look at it to work out which out ways your decision.

Good luck and I am sure you will make the right decision for you

thanks for that i'll do the list over the weekend

 

[natalielongstaff]

im sorry to hear the situation is no better Hun, i agree with jen ....set a deasdline and then if its still not working out then move on

 

[Minniespal]

Jeanette ~ Horrible situation for you to be in

I'm sure you will make the decision that is right for you

 

[wils]

Just a . I'm not surprised you are ill with the stress of it. jen_uk offers good advice wrt setting a decision date but my gut feel is that if the stress is making you ill it might be time to find a new job. I can imagine it must be hard having a job that at times can be very rewarding but at others horrible.

Have a good weekend

 

[mandymouse]

Aww Jeanette, I wish I could write something helpful, but at the end of the day if it's making you poorly, then you shouldn't stay

I know that what you are doing is worthwhile and challenging, but I can only say what I would do, and that would probably be, to still work with special needs children in a main stream school, but with perhaps not so severe problems

I hope you manage to sort something out for yourself

Take care

Mandy

 

[kizzy212]

hi, i can totally understand where your coming from, i also work in the same environment. i am a senior support worker for 3 adults with learning disabilites and challenging behaviour in a private home. one client of mine has apsbergers and get very aggessive towards staff on daily basis. The most hardest i find is the clients emotions before and after incident. one minute they are your best friends and the next second you are having a cup across your head.

as i look at it. we are doing a brilliant job and there isnt many people that could do or handle what we go through daily. i give myself and yourself credit and to others of same job role.

now it will come a time when i myself will say that i cant do it anymore or the stress of the clients is getting to me. the minute i take it home and it starts to effect me on a daily basis then you are telling yourself something. please dont continue to go on like this. it will change your whole outlook on learning disabilities. change job title. you have given so much in 5 years to these service users lifes. dont give up just change jobrole. give to someone else now.

i hope you feel better soon. just pm if you want chat

 

[hildasmuriel]

So sorry that you are struggling with this problem. Is there any chance you could transfer to primary school? Most classes have TAs and they work with children across the whole range of abilities and there is much less chance of getting physically hurt.

 

[tennisfan]

I would try chatting with the head to see what the situation would be. You shouldn't do a job if it makes you ill. You shouldn't have to work in a violent environment.

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

Jeanette - I'm so sorry to read of your dilemma. Having a son on the spectrum (well I think he is anyway, we are in the final stage of diagnosis) he attends a specialised speech and language unit and the skill and dedication of those involved have made such a difference to him. I just wanted to give you a big thankyou from parents like us for the difference you can make to a childs life, it takes a special kind of person to do the job you are doing and thank goodness there are people who want to do it. I hope you soon come to a decision that is right for you.

 

[mumloveseeyore]

just to echo what lizzy lemon says ,my son has aspergers and we will always be grateful to all the staff at his schools have done to make his and our lives easier but this certainly should not be at the expense of your own health, hope you feel better soon and can decide what is best for you. Gill

 

[Netty]

Jeanette - I'm so sorry to read of your dilemma. Having a son on the spectrum (well I think he is anyway, we are in the final stage of diagnosis) he attends a specialised speech and language unit and the skill and dedication of those involved have made such a difference to him. I just wanted to give you a big thankyou from parents like us for the difference you can make to a childs life, it takes a special kind of person to do the job you are doing and thank goodness there are people who want to do it. I hope you soon come to a decision that is right for you.

just to echo what lizzy lemon says ,my son has aspergers and we will always be grateful to all the staff at his schools have done to make his and our lives easier but this certainly should not be at the expense of your own health, hope you feel better soon and can decide what is best for you. Gill

Thankyou, i'm in tears reading this

 

[Netty]

Thankyou everyone for your support and most of all your understanding, you don't know how much it means to me
i am under occupational health and have been having councelling. I have been looking for another job, but there just isnt any at the moment. If I decide to leave this job, then I will have to hand my notice in ,In July.

 

[carolfoy]

I just wanted to give you a big the job you do is admirable to say the least, I really wouldn't blame you for thinking about moving on especially if your own health is suffering. I think Jen has given you some very sound advice, please be assured we're all here if you need a little rant or moan

 

[CustardTart]

Thankyou everyone for your support and most of all your understanding, you don't know how much it means to me
i am under occupational health and have been having councelling. I have been looking for another job, but there just isnt any at the moment. If I decide to leave this job, then I will have to hand my notice in ,In July.

I really feel for you Jeanette! I used to be a psychiatric nurse and have been on the receiving end of a quite a few batterings. Some situations were extremely scary but I have to be honest and say they didn't make me want to leave or cause me the stress you're under, tho' some of my colleagues did get 'burnt out' and their symptoms were similar to yours. Maybe you have to accept that you've done as much as you can do in that environment.

I totally agree with Mandy's post - if this is damaging your health, you shouldn't stay as it could end up affecting all areas of your life...

I wish you all the best with your decision...

 

[TotallyAngelic]

dear Jeanette,
Firstly let me give you a big . It must be so difficult for you having this sort of a weight on your shoulders. This job is clearly affecting your health and your life, and really your job should enhance your life wherever possible.
You have been a truly amazing and special person to have devoted your working life to these children with special needs, but when the role starts to have a detrimental affect on your life then it is not fair on yourself to keep putting yourself through these stresses on a daily basis.

I would speak to the headmaster of the school and just explain how you feel. Is there anyway you could be transferred to a less stressful area within the same school, or to another special needs school which deals with primary age children? Or perhaps you could do 1:1 care with a special needs child in a mainstream primary school. You obviously have the skills and experience and would be an extremely valuable asset to any school, so I would express my concerns to the head or the LEA and see what they can do. You shouldn't be expected to deal with violence in any case, just the same as nursing staff shouldn't.