Hi! OP here...thank you for all of the great responses, positive and negative. It's really got me thinking. I am definitely jealous...I mean, I don't think that's too unnatural. I see the constant stream of things walking though their door and we watch every dollar. It's no even so much the things themsleves, it's the lack of worry they have in their life. Would I enjoy a lifestyle like they have? Yes, I would. Do I sit around and lament about it all day? No, I most certainly do not. And I did choose this life I lead. And I love my life and my family.
It's was hard to explain everything in that original post, so let me clarify. One is that her son is not a terribly nice kid. Now we don't go around telling our kids who they can be friends with...maybe as they get older, but not right now. We are big fans of letting them make smaller mistakes now instead of big ones later. So this will be a learning experience for my kid. We have done some discouraging of the friendship, but we haven't forbidden it. This is a kid who has never been told, "no." He has made fun of and hit my daughter (who has cerebral palsy) and destroyed the kids' toys. He has broken off two parts off a car and smashed a chair in the garage. We have told his parents to no avail. We have let him know in no uncertain terms that if he does any of these behaviors again that he would no longer be welcome in our home. That seems to have worked, but he still lets a mean remark out once in a while. The biggest problem is he is constantly one-upping" my son.
By the way, whoever mentioned about not telling my kids to suck it up...that was sort of a figure of speech. I'm a really good listener to my kids (hubs, not so much haha) and take pride on working it all through with them. But the end result is trying to accept things the way they are and move forward. I know, it would be good if I took my own advice right about now.
Also, I didn't mean to imply my kids were doing without ALL activities for a year. They are still in their usual sports and clubs and all that. We just don't go out to eat or to the jumpy places on a whim anymore.
Anyway, back to the one-upping. It does make my son feel bad and it's pretty obnoxious if you think about it. But we always stress family time and that families are different, but we all know that it's hard watching someone else get all the goodies and "privileges." This kid also invites my son places and then cancels the invitation at the last second. TWICE he uninvited him to Six Flags after inviting him, and the parents say nothing. It made my son feel terrible both times. My friend says she doesn't discipline the boys because she "doesn't like confrontation." But my son is learning not to trust him.
The dad is a braggart, too. Which isn't to much of a problem because the kids don't hear too much of it, but it's annoying. He also really hurt my feelings one time because his boys said he said our Christmas presents to their family were "cheap."
On to my friend: Hmmm. I guess the posters who questioned our friendship have a point and I have a lot to think about. She had definitely hurt my feeling on a few occasions. Mostly, it has to do with her pretending there is nothing wrong with what her son is doing when he cancels invitations on my son at the last minute. She also participates with the family in making my son feel bad. I don't think she does it on purpose, but she sure isn't being very sensitive. We have her son over maybe 10 times for every time my son goes over there. She just doens't like to have kids over...nothing personal against my son. So when he gets invited over there, it's a pretty big deal. So this last weekend he was over visiting they made a big deal about having to drop him off at home early because they decided to take their sons to see "The Hunger Games." I don't care what movie they want to see but do they have to cut their time together short to do something they KNOW we won't let him do? And then make a big production over the fact that we won't let him go? It's almost like the parents think we treat him like a baby, too. So, he walks in the door crying. And I just question why they had to make a production of it at all when they knew he couldn't go. Or why invite him over if you're doing something my kid can't. Their son even said to him, "I guess you'll never get to see it." If this just happened once in a while, it wouldn't matter much. But it happens all the time. I try to be sensitive to other families' rules and restrictions and if a child is here who can't drink Coke, no one drinks Coke. It's just being polite and respectful. It just seems as if they go out of there way to make him feel bad when it's not necessary.
Yes, this would be just another trip for them. They are going on a cruise one month before. They have been to Disney and said they didn't like it because of the lines. But I'm sure because my kids have been talking about it, they are feeling pressured to take the kids. Remember, they don't say "no."
My son has another friend his age and I'm friends with his mom. They are well-to-do and have much nicer EVERYTHING than us. Probably better off than the family we've been talking about. But their son is so respectful and nice. My son even feels comfortable taking his stuffed animal with him when he goes over there to spend the night. That's saying a lot for a 9 year-old boy. And as I sit here thinking about it, I would be THRILLED to give her all my info. about Disney! No problem at all! I'd make a copy of my binder for her. I guess it comes down to the whole one-upping thing. This friend doesn't do it but my other friend does.
Now that is being petty.
