I'm so bad with birthdays!

[iwrbnd]

I just have to get this off my chest! I'm so bad at birthdays! I'm bad at planning them and I just want them to be over. I feel like such a bad mom to not enjoy big birthday parties. I've done some big ones but mostly they are small family ones. Every year I say I'm going to do something great and then I don't!So, here I am on my ds's 17th birthday scrambling together something fun for his bday. I've ordered pizza and some of his friends are going to surprise him after school and come over. It's so lame and since I did it last minute only a handful of the kids can come. I just hate planning birthdays. Do any other moms out there feel this way or do you all love them?

 

[SC Minnie]

We haven't gone 'all out' for DD's birthday for quite some time. This summer DD will turn 16. We will have out of town family with us on her actual birthday. I may take her and a friend or 2 out to a nice restaurant to celebrate the week before or after. No big 'sweet 16' party.

Your DS will probably be thrilled with what you have done.

 

[dislaney]

I just have to get this off my chest! I'm so bad at birthdays! I'm bad at planning them and I just want them to be over. I feel like such a bad mom to not enjoy big birthday parties. I've done some big ones but mostly they are small family ones. Every year I say I'm going to do something great and then I don't!So, here I am on my ds's 17th birthday scrambling together something fun for his bday. I've ordered pizza and some of his friends are going to surprise him after school and come over. It's so lame and since I did it last minute only a handful of the kids can come. I just hate planning birthdays. Do any other moms out there feel this way or do you all love them?

I'm a birthday party failure. I admit it. I'm not very good at it at all. It sounds like your trying though so that has to count for something.

 

[iwrbnd]

At least I'm not completely alone in this! That makes me feel better!

 

[Motherofboys]

I just have to get this off my chest! I'm so bad at birthdays! I'm bad at planning them and I just want them to be over. I feel like such a bad mom to not enjoy big birthday parties. I've done some big ones but mostly they are small family ones. Every year I say I'm going to do something great and then I don't!So, here I am on my ds's 17th birthday scrambling together something fun for his bday. I've ordered pizza and some of his friends are going to surprise him after school and come over. It's so lame and since I did it last minute only a handful of the kids can come. I just hate planning birthdays. Do any other moms out there feel this way or do you all love them?

Did you at least get him presents and a cake?

I love birthday parties, lots of works but lots of good memories too. Not all of my siblings are that way with their kids though and their kids seem to be okay with it.

 

[iwrbnd]

Yes, they always get presents and cake and they've had some wonderful birthdays, too. Many times I've pulled off some amazing parties that came together by the grace of God! But, many of them are just not that good and usually I'm doing it at the last minute. Birthdays weren't a big deal in my family growing up and I guess I don't think about it until it's too late.

 

[Motherofboys]

Yes, they always get presents and cake and they've had some wonderful birthdays, too. Many times I've pulled off some amazing parties that came together by the grace of God! But, many of them are just not that good and usually I'm doing it at the last minute. Birthdays weren't a big deal in my family growing up and I guess I don't think about it until it's too late.

You are probably being too hard on yourself

Presents, cake, a nice dinner, friends over -- that sounds like a perfectly nice birthday!

Even with tons of work, planning, money -- parties usually don't ever turn out to be the amazing experience you hope they will be. Usually I do tons of work, cooking, decorating - and all my kids care about are the presents!

I come from a family where my mom always made sure birthdays were special, my dad did little to nothing. But he came from a family where birthdays were not a big deal. DH came from a family where you got a store bought cake and taken to a store to pick out a gift.

He is definitely not the type to plan anything at all, and he always waits til the last minute to do anything. I can't really fault him too much though since that was the way he was raised....his mother on the other hand, I can fault her all I want!

 

[kirstenb1]

I think I know what you mean. DD just received a really pretty handmade Twilight-themed black and white invitation. This mom does amazing parties, each year, always themed, house is decorated fabulously, etc.

Now that our older dd is 12,I throw together a movie/mall/dinner type get together for a few of her closest friends. Pre-bought invitations. When she was younger, I did Chuck E Cheese or ice-skating.

I'm not creative at all, although I admire the moms who really are.

 

[Glynis]

I get tired of trying to keep up with what the other moms are doing. Seriously, birthday parties have become full on productions! We have simplified a ton here. On years that the kids turn an odd number, they have a friend party. They are given a budget, and they help plan it so they can see where the money goes. Usually, we have kids over to the house for a small party, as the kids would rather spend money on pizza and ice cream and cake than other stuff. On even numbered years, we have a family dinner at a restaurant. It works for us, and our kids have learned that they don't have to have an extravaganza every year!

 

[RadioNate]

I actually don't do birthday parties any more. Sounds horrible, I know. It is too much work, too much drama and too much money. For the last 2 years we've taken my oldest to WDW for his birthday. We have APs but with the hotel and food I actually don't think we've spent any more than we have on his party and gifts. We always have a cake delivered to the hotel.

My DD is only 2 and she had a 1-year old party but since no family lives here and she doesn't really have friends it was mostly our friends and cake. This year my mom hosted a party for her when we were in town visiting at Thanksgiving but that was mostly my mom's friends and cake.

Next year I don't think we will do anything more than cake with close friends.

 

[iwrbnd]

Maybe I am too hard on myself, thanks for the encouragement! I guess I always thought I would be the mom that had big bday parties, home-made Halloween costumes and home-made treats for school parties. In reality I'm scrambling at every bday party, buy costumes from Walmart and sign up for plates/napkins at school parties! I've been parenting for 17 years and haven't changed so I need to embrace the parent I am rather than the parent I wanted to be!

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Don't feel bad, OP. I'm the Mary Richards of this generation. Throwing lame parties is my specialty, and I don't even have kids yet.

 

[SunshineOR]

We did one big party and hated it. It was expensive, we were cranky, and our daughter was overwhelmed. We swore never again. My kids get to pick their own cake or dessert at the store and love that (they'd be disgusted if I said I was going to bake a cake because they love picking their cake off the shelf), and we have a family party. Sometimes there are grandparents or a couple relatives who may be in town for a holiday since we have a couple Dec/Jan birthdays and have been known to tack a birthday party on during holiday festivities where the family is already gathered.

I make their favorite dinner, they open a few small presents and that's it. I keep waiting for my kids to complain and beg for big parties and lots of presents like some of the ones they attend, but not one of five kids has ever complained! I think it helps that we have five kids. They automatically feed each other's excitement and make it feel like an "event" without us having to spend a lot of money or put a lot of effort into it.

 

[FireDancer]

Don't sweat it OP. Growing up we didn't have very much money. Birthdays consisted of mom baking a cake and any party we had was at the house. Not once growing up did we have a "destination" birthday or anything like that. I can't tell you most of the birthday gifts I received but I can tell you I know my mom baked me a cake for every birthday.

In the end the things you do define you better then the things you buy or parties you throw.

 

[mhsjax]

Don't sweat it OP. Growing up we didn't have very much money. Birthdays consisted of mom baking a cake and any party we had was at the house. Not once growing up did we have a "destination" birthday or anything like that. I can't tell you most of the birthday gifts I received but I can tell you I know my mom baked me a cake for every birthday.

In the end the things you do define you better then the things you buy or parties you throw.

Well said. When I was growing up, people just had simple parties at their house, nothing big or elaborate. I was fortunate enough to have a pool, so my birthday parties consisted of swimming, cookout, (hotdogs) and sleep over. And yes my mom's fantastic home made choc cake. Not a lot of money involved and I could only include about 4-5 girls.


We have 3 kids now, both boys b-day are in Jan. the girl in April. I ususally don't do parties at all, I just give them the money I would spend on a party. That is their choice. This year the boys are wanting one, so I told them to wait until the weather warmed up and they could have a pool party and pizza or cookout. Nothing fancy.

 

[njcarita]

I'm the exact opposite,,,love the planning,,throwing and partaking in my kids parties.... last year my oldest child... decided that at 14 he was too "OLD" for a birthday party.....no matter how my husband and I tried to convince him he wasn't.. he wouldn't budge and no party for him......

 

[iwrbnd]

Thanks everyone! I feel better now. My kids haven't ever complained and we always do something for their day, even if it's little. I guess I feel bad about how I feel. I just dread them. They aren't fun for me. I'm just not a planner...unless of course it's a Disney trip!

 

[mom of 3G's]

I cannot stand birthday parties. At the last party in Oct. my in-laws threw a fit and ruined the party and I was in the bedroom for 2 hours crying, so I pretty much declared that I'm done hosting any parties. I will still get the cake and presents, but no one will be invited. It's too much stress to host a gathering. As far as a "friends" party, we let them pick one or two friends and do an event together.