I'm sitting here in tears :( -- NEW UPDATE (page 5)

[jjarman]

I have had a couple of bosses like you described. The first one screamed at me one day about something. I had to go get a file for him, brought it back and slammed it on his desk. I said I don't appreciate the way you just talked to me. I turned to storm out and he called me back. I shut the door and we had a talk. It really did help for a while. Apparently no one had ever stood up to him before. Of course he went back to his old ways and I eventually found another job.

The second one was even worse. I only stayed the year I was there because I had a vacation planned. It has been 2 and a half years since I left and he averages a new assistant about every 4-5 months. It would not have helped in my case to talk to him because he was so insecure (short, Napoleon complex) and thought he was always right. The man was an idiot. He didn't even know how to turn on his computer. I am now working for the best boss in the world and love my job.

If it was me I would start looking now for another job. Then if you find one give the notice and get out of there.

 

[MusiqChic99]

Talk to someone who is above your boss or a HR person.

Maybe they can help you resolve the issue before you have to move to another job.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Regarding the full inbox (which I have often):

Set up files on his hard drive and move them there. Once they are moved then you can delete them from the inbox. Oh, make sure you delete them from the trash as well. I have two windows open - one is my inbox the other is the folder I want to move the mail to. I just drag and drop.

Are you kidding me? I have suggested everything under the sun to this man. But he won't accept it. Its not good enough. Nothing is good enough except getting him more space. And he doesn't want to delete not 1 email. That's the other thing, when his requests get shot down, I offer him so many alternatives and he gets mad that I would even open my mouth to suggest something else.

As for the documentation I am going to do just that. Secondly, I'm going to go into the lion's den and talk to him directly. I need to tell him this so that I can rest assured that I did all that I can do. Going over his head will accomplish nothing. If he wants to get rid of me for doing this, then so be it.

 

[Feralpeg]

Like others have said, document everything. Be prepared to go above his head. Stand up to him. You can only be bullied if you let yourself be bullied. When he gives you attitude, don't be rude but tell him the truth. Tell him you need the information to do your job. Tell him you can't work miracles and he needs to learn to deal.

If at all possible, talk to him. Tell him that the way he treats you is unacceptable. Maybe, no one has every called him on his behavior. He may respect you more and back off.

If that doesn't work, go over his head.

 

[wvjules]

Are you kidding me? I have suggested everything under the sun to this man. But he won't accept it. Its not good enough. Nothing is good enough except getting him more space. And he doesn't want to delete not 1 email. That's the other thing, when his requests get shot down, I offer him so many alternatives and he gets mad that I would even open my mouth to suggest something else.

As for the documentation I am going to do just that. Secondly, I'm going to go into the lion's den and talk to him directly. I need to tell him this so that I can rest assured that I did all that I can do. Going over his head will accomplish nothing. If he wants to get rid of me for doing this, then so be it.

They are not technically deleted if they are in a new locaiton. They are just moved. I am sorry for giving you a solution to the immediate problem.

 

[NY Disney fan]

They are not technically deleted if they are in a new locaiton. They are just moved. I am sorry for giving you a solution to the immediate problem.

No please don't take it that way. I am extremely frustrated. Its just that if I don't do what he says he won't accept any other explanations and any rational solution (like yours above) make no sense to him.

 

[Maleficient]

Good luck NY Disney Fan - no one should be treated that way! I have been there

 

[tomthebarncat]

over this like I did. I worked for Red Cross as social worker. I had 7 bosses in 7 years, each one progressivly worse than the one before. The newest idiot did exactly what your boss is doing. After three non stop days of her verbal harassement, we had it out in front of a client. She yelled at me "what is your problem?" I yelled back " I have an IDIOT for a SUPERVISOR!". I then went into my office and typed up my resignation, citing verbal abuse and a hostile work environment. I emailed it to the highest ranking staff member in Europe. I then called the computor folks to come down and wipe my hard drive clean as I had just quit my job. 30 minutes later, she comes into my office and says "this is serious". I told her I already emailed big boss and I quit. I did stay for two weeks were I did absolutely nothing as I had no computor rights. She did ask if there was anything important on it, and I told her to have fun re-inventing the wheel!! and computor guy, who was my buddy wiped hard drive clean! Big boss came down the following week and asked me in front of her, what would it take for me to stay? I looked her right in the eye and said " I will stay if she goes". Not an option! 62 days later they fired her! what a loser, the thing is up until she came I really loved that job and it was like a divorce leaving it after 7 years. BTW: I did email HR and they forwarded the email to her which is what started the whole three day mess.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

I can completely sympothize. Having an abusive/toxic boss can be seriously depressing and can affect your personal life as well as your professional life.

In my case, I didn't have the energy or will to try to fight my boss and ended up resigning my position after a little over a year of working for him. One example of what a wonderful person he was...when I told him that I was expecting my third child, he asked me if I had considered an abortion. My last day of working for him he tried unsuccessfully to have me fired the day I had to go out on bedrest for pre-eclampsia when I was 34 weeks pregnant. (I had actually gone into the office to tie things up when I was supposed to be in bed). Both the HR director and his boss knew what a jerk he was I think they were afraid of him.

If you think you can easily find a job in your field (and you have a financial cushion to fall back on if you don't) then it may be worth it to walk. But, given today's job market, I would think that it is a good idea to document what is happening and take your concerns to your HR Department and go that route. At this point, what would you have to lose?

My most important bit of advice here is....don't stay in that environment. Do whatever it takes to get away from this man because life is too short to remain in a miserable work place!!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Are you kidding me? I have suggested everything under the sun to this man. But he won't accept it. Its not good enough. Nothing is good enough except getting him more space. And he doesn't want to delete not 1 email. That's the other thing, when his requests get shot down, I offer him so many alternatives and he gets mad that I would even open my mouth to suggest something else.

Let him fix his own darn emails.

(Sorry, it just felt good. )

 

[NY Disney fan]

BTW: I did email HR and they forwarded the email to her which is what started the whole three day mess.

Wow, isn't that illegal?

 

[NY Disney fan]

In my case, I didn't have the energy or will to try to fight my boss and ended up resigning my position after a little over a year of working for him. One example of what a wonderful person he was...when I told him that I was expecting my third child, he asked me if I had considered an abortion.

Goodness he didn't say that. What a monster.

 

[tomthebarncat]

Wow, isn't that illegal?

Probably, they often thought they were above the law. I had just had enough of Red Cross's crap. They do alot for people but as an employer, well, they left a lot to be desired!

 

[busyshrew]

Originally Posted by luvmy3jewels:
told him that I was expecting my third child, he asked me if I had considered an abortion.

I agree, that is BEYOND! And to the OP, I'm actually shocked that in today's day and age that any manager is asking a subordinate to clean up his email / inbox. Unless you are IT support, in which of course it makes sense.

I had a technically INCOMPETENT boss (a dear, dear man that I loved working for but barely knew one end of the computer from the other), and even he wouldn't ask me to manage his emails. Way too much confidential information or "need to know" information on them.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

Goodness he didn't say that. What a monster.

Yes, that is a good way to describe that man. The good news is that immediately after I resigned, my former employer caught word I was available and called me up offering me the moon if I would come back to work for them. They let me work part-time, paid me well, and (most importantly) treated me like I was a valued employee. It took a lot of time for me to regain confidence in myself, because that man had really beaten my ego up with his constant criticism and abuse.

I hope things work out for you, NY Disney fan!! I know what it's like to sit and cry at your desk everyday and sometimes it just isn't worth it!

 

[minniecarousel]

OP - I may be asking the obvious, but is there an IT Dept - some guy who sets up and fixes computers? If there is such a person, can that person show him how to move and still retain the "important" E-mails?

 

[KAMLEM]

And to the OP, I'm actually shocked that in today's day and age that any manager is asking a subordinate to clean up his email / inbox. Unless you are IT support, in which of course it makes sense.

The big wigs at my job have their executive admins do this all the time. Many of them are computer illiterate. They are happiest out in the field selling, not sitting behind a computer.

 

[airhead]

The worst part is, my boss (when he's not being a bully) is sooo nice to me. He seems like a nice person overall but when he gets nasty its abusive. There's this push/pull. And I defend him to people who think badly of him. He's got a lot of pressure on him at work. But I just find that there is no excuse to talk to me that way...me! (who is trying to help him do his job.). I'm on his side, not working against him.

WHY would you defend him??? He humiliates you and treats you badly. I totally don't understand...

 

[girlandboy]

I am sorry to hear that..

 

[mamamary]

If you are serious about your intention to quit at this point, then you have nothing to lose by trying to talk to your boss (although it doesn't sound like it will do any good). Do you have a HR department that you can go to? Or someone higher up? As I said, if you're going to quit anyway, you have nothing to lose by trying to get some help from somewhere.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Sorry you work for such a jerk