I'm sitting here in tears :( -- NEW UPDATE (page 5)

[teskak]

I agree you have to get your ducks in a row about when it is a good time to leave. If they are the boss, and especially if they have been there for a while HR will know about them - AND NOT CARE

Look up "Office Sociopath" and you will get examples of how they are nice to thier superiors and dreadful to thier subordinates EXCEPT when it is in public where they are just soo charming to everybody. I worked 18 months for one of those who used to say things like "Because you cannot do your job I am stressed and therefore my IVF did not work this cycle - (she was 44 at the time so I think biology had a bit to do with it as well)"

The office needed her for her skills and while they said nice things as I left - she did the same thing to my replacement.

It is unpleasant, but go to your doctor and get on anti-depressants because:
1) If you are not depressed already, being beaten by the boss every day all day will make you so
2) The anti depressants will reduce the pain of each time the boss beats you / embarrases you etc Just because there are no visible bruises it is still a beating
3) If you are looking for a new job, potential employers will pick up on how stressed you are and it will count against you.

good luck

 

[XTinabell]

If she said that then she would be giving him incorrect information.

Care to elaborate? Perhaps if you know how the OP can help her bosses email situation without having to delete emails so he can receive new ones, you should inform her?

I don't know why threads like this start causing such ridiculous behaviour in posters, the OP is asking for help if you don't want to help her stay out of the thread.

OP: Good luck with your situation, I think you've been given some valuable help. I hope things improve for you immediately.

 

[Angelhalo]

Document EVERYTHING and then go to HR.

 

[NY Disney fan]

New Update : On Friday night my boss and I had some serious words. Again, he humiliated me in front of the team (over a question he had about a phone number). I was already at the end of my rope and I slammed my pen down and walked away from him. I ended up going to the bathroom to get myself together. After re-grouping, I shot off a very business-like email to our HR person to plead my case. I tried to leave emotion out of it but included a little. I requested to either a.) be moved to a new team or b.) have them note my opinion for the record while I look for another job. They just may get rid of me altogether. I had no desire to look for a job as I have been on that team for 5 years (and my boss joined 3 months ago). I thought I'd give things time to adjust but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I have been crying every single day for 5 days. I have been praying about it for months.

At this point in the game, I have no desire to work it out with my boss. He is not going to change his personality over me. I get it. I'm screwed big time. If you could keep me in your thoughts I'd greatly appreciate it.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

New Update : On Friday night my boss and I had some serious words. Again, he humiliated me in front of the team (over a question he had about a phone number). I was already at the end of my rope and I slammed my pen down and walked away from him. I ended up going to the bathroom to get myself together. After re-grouping, I shot off a very business-like email to our HR person to plead my case. I tried to leave emotion out of it but included a little. I requested to either a.) be moved to a new team or b.) have them note my opinion for the record while I look for another job. They just may get rid of me altogether. I had no desire to look for a job as I have been on that team for 5 years (and my boss joined 3 months ago). I thought I'd give things time to adjust but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I have been crying every single day for 5 days. I have been praying about it for months.

At this point in the game, I have no desire to work it out with my boss. He is not going to change his personality over me. I get it. I'm screwed big time. If you could keep me in your thoughts I'd greatly appreciate it.

Had you ever expressed your feelings about him like you did on Friday by slamming down your pen and walking away? If not, is there any chance that will wake him up a little and see what a jerk he is? It's a long shot but maybe he'll lighten up after that? You definitely did the right thing by writing to HR.

I used to work in Employee Relations handling these exact types of situations. We never ignored a complaint about another employee. We would immediately call in the person who complained and do a complete interview, asking for examples and timeframes about what was happening. We would then call in the offender and discuss the situation with them. Many times, the offender's boss would be brought in to monitor the situation. If the complaining employee was doing a good job and there was no way they could stay in their present position, we would try very hard to find another placement for them. I hope things work out for you!

 

[nikkistevej]

Good luck with the situation- these things are never easy to deal with.

 

[Magic Mom]

I'll keep my fingers crossed that he decides he really wants to be pig farmer in Alaska and leaves you to keep working in peace in the team you love.

Barring that, I'll pray it all works out for the best for you.

 

[mrsmom]

 

[2_Eagle_Mom]

I hope tomorrow brings you some sort of action from your HR Dept and a change of behavior from your boss. Keep us updated.

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

New Update : On Friday night my boss and I had some serious words. Again, he humiliated me in front of the team (over a question he had about a phone number). I was already at the end of my rope and I slammed my pen down and walked away from him. I ended up going to the bathroom to get myself together. After re-grouping, I shot off a very business-like email to our HR person to plead my case. I tried to leave emotion out of it but included a little. I requested to either a.) be moved to a new team or b.) have them note my opinion for the record while I look for another job. They just may get rid of me altogether. I had no desire to look for a job as I have been on that team for 5 years (and my boss joined 3 months ago). I thought I'd give things time to adjust but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I have been crying every single day for 5 days. I have been praying about it for months.

At this point in the game, I have no desire to work it out with my boss. He is not going to change his personality over me. I get it. I'm screwed big time. If you could keep me in your thoughts I'd greatly appreciate it.

How are you doing today? I hope you get something resolved soon. You are in my thoughts.

 

[dislaney]

What a horrible situation to be in. I hope things are looking up today!

 

[Arielle22]

Wow, isn't that illegal?

It isn't illegal to inform an employee that there were accusations against them. Even if there is a way for HR to investigate the claims without telling the employee what the claim is; as soon as the situation is described the accused can figure out who made the accusation.

 

[NY Disney fan]

How are you doing today? I hope you get something resolved soon. You are in my thoughts.

Thanks for asking. Well, I probably spoke 6 words to my manager today. He has been behind closed doors most of the day. I haven't heard from HR yet but have applied to 3 new jobs today. Let's see what happens. This will take some time to resolve. One thing for sure is: I don't want to resolve this issue with my manager, I just want out. I can't change someone's personality. He will be like this long term. I'm on a one-way street at this point. There's no going back.

 

[DizBelle]

I wish you the best of luck!

 

[DisTeach1]

1) I hope things are going better for you today.

2)Sometimes, in a situation like this, you just need to QUIT. I know you said there are no better options, but you will be surprised about what will open up. I quit a job once, and within a day, had two other offers. Sometimes, shutting a door, opens a window. I know it's a cliche, but still.

2)Why did/do some posters suggest anti-depressants or meds? You don't sound depressed!! You sound frustrated and fed up!! What is wrong with feeling your pain! Feel it and take action, don't take drugs. Sorry, it just gets to me. The solution for everything is not to numb yourself.

3) I really believe one way or the other, things will work out. Sometimes life has a way of forcing onto our paths, and then we look back and realize that we are exactly where we are supposed to be.

 

[Jennasis]

Thanks for asking. Well, I probably spoke 6 words to my manager today. He has been behind closed doors most of the day. I haven't heard from HR yet but have applied to 3 new jobs today. Let's see what happens. This will take some time to resolve. One thing for sure is: I don't want to resolve this issue with my manager, I just want out. I can't change someone's personality. He will be like this long term. I'm on a one-way street at this point. There's no going back.

Probably because he's terrified of you since you finally stood up for yourself, ADN probably because he's terrified of HR coming down on him (which they may have done already).

Be strong.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Thanks for asking. Well, I probably spoke 6 words to my manager today. He has been behind closed doors most of the day. I haven't heard from HR yet but have applied to 3 new jobs today. Let's see what happens. This will take some time to resolve. One thing for sure is: I don't want to resolve this issue with my manager, I just want out. I can't change someone's personality. He will be like this long term. I'm on a one-way street at this point. There's no going back.

I was in a miserable boss situation for a bit over a year. It's horrid. I decided to leave the job I loved because of her. Just when I found another opportunity, she announced she was moving out-of-state! Haha! I outlasted the witch. lol Good luck to you. I know how it feels to dread going to work because of a bad boss. You have to do what is right for you. It's not good to be stressed out all the time.

 

[Robinrs]

I agree you have to get your ducks in a row about when it is a good time to leave. If they are the boss, and especially if they have been there for a while HR will know about them - AND NOT CARE

Look up "Office Sociopath" and you will get examples of how they are nice to thier superiors and dreadful to thier subordinates EXCEPT when it is in public where they are just soo charming to everybody. I worked 18 months for one of those who used to say things like "Because you cannot do your job I am stressed and therefore my IVF did not work this cycle - (she was 44 at the time so I think biology had a bit to do with it as well)"

The office needed her for her skills and while they said nice things as I left - she did the same thing to my replacement.

It is unpleasant, but go to your doctor and get on anti-depressants because:
1) If you are not depressed already, being beaten by the boss every day all day will make you so
2) The anti depressants will reduce the pain of each time the boss beats you / embarrases you etc Just because there are no visible bruises it is still a beating
3) If you are looking for a new job, potential employers will pick up on how stressed you are and it will count against you.

good luck

Yikes, take medication because someone is an creep? What the...


NY DF, I hope everything works out. There is nothing like having a PiTA for a boss for the biggest part of your day. I see it everyday here and I, for one, would not be able to tolerate it.

 

[bumbershoot]

Yikes, take medication because someone is an creep? What the...

I agree with "what the"!



Good luck with the job search! You'll probably just be so giddy when going into those interviews that you'll blow them away with your positivity! (OK that can't be a word, but firefox isn't saying anything about it, LOL)

 

[Darsa]

Probably because he's terrified of you since you finally stood up for yourself, ADN probably because he's terrified of HR coming down on him (which they may have done already).

I hope so, on both counts. Let us know how it goes!!