I'm failing as a step-father

[DaffyGoof]

They both need to get Christian counselling individually and then together.

CHRISTIAN counseling? May I ask why you specify CHRISTIAN?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Tressa,

Just suffice it say, from this thread, and the many prior threads, this little 'parenting' tiff is the least of this couples problems.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

CHRISTIAN counseling? May I ask why you specify CHRISTIAN?

i said the same thing on page 8

 

[MoniqueU]

Am I the only one that thinks this guy plays the victim?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Am I the only one that thinks this guy plays the victim?

No, you aren't the only one.

 

[Missy1961]

Am I the only one that thinks this guy plays the victim?

Nope.

 

[boomhauer]

I'm sorry - What does "playing the victim" mean?

 

[boomhauer]

It sounds like 2 five-year-olds raising a 5-year-old to me. Grow the he11 up. ::shaking my head::

Do you have any kids? Any step-kids? Come from divorced parents?

I'm not perfect. I've got my issues. My wife's got her issues. Parenting isn't as easy as changing a dirty diaper. Marriage isn't always as easy as sitting down at dinner and talking about your day. And not all of us have lived perfectly happy lives. We just do the best we can.

My own fault obviously for starting this thread. And for those with the kind hearts that have tried to help and been so nice (you know who you are), this isn't directed AT ALL to you. But if I were browsing a thread like this, and all I had was something nasty to say, I'd keep my mouth shut.

And I'm glad that's the type of person I am.

 

[boomhauer]

For those of you who have been kind enough and aren't just looking at someone to make yourself feel better, here's what happened:

I went home last night with a dozen roses for my wife. I apologized for my immature behavior. She did the same. We talked about the issues we have and what we can do to solve them. It was tough, but good. Took some time, but realized, we love and care for each other more than anything else in the world. We both have much stress coming from work, her ex, my family. But in the end, we're no different (better off in fact) than many other people in our situation.

We agreed to both grow up and do our best. That's all we can do.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I went home last night with a dozen roses for my wife. I apologized for my immature behavior. She did the same. We talked about the issues we have and what we can do to solve them. It was tough, but good. Took some time, but realized, we love and care for each other more than anything else in the world. We both have much stress coming from work, her ex, my family. But in the end, we're no different (better off in fact) than many other people in our situation.

This is a good start. The roses were a great way to help to disolve the wall that was created the night before. But I also think you need to get into family counseling to get on the same page about raising your step-son, how to fight more effectively, how do deal with outside pressure (ie the ex and work) and how to communicate better. Any marriage that does not involve abuse is a able to become a great marriage, but may require an outsider to point the marriage in the right direction.

 

[smilie]

I'm glad you were able to talk Boomhauer. It's a really great start to what you both know you have to do. (good job on the flowers btw )

 

[Alicnwondrln]

good luck ( seriously )
i hope you have a good time on your trip and that things will get better for you and your family

 

[boomhauer]

I'm glad you were able to talk Boomhauer. It's a really great start to what you both know you have to do. (good job on the flowers btw )

I also overdid it a bit with a big red "I Love You" balloon.

That's OK. My step-son enjoyed that.

 

[goofy4tink]

I also overdid it a bit with a big red "I Love You" balloon.

That's OK. My step-son enjoyed that.

Ahh, but didn't you really mean to give it to him??!!!
Have a great trip, and look into counseling when you get home. It really does help to have an impartial viewpoint. I know it helped us...of course it made it easier when the counselor agreed with me most of the time!!!

 

[Ava83]

I'm so happy that things are better this morning!

Both parenting and marriage are hard and there is no one perfect answer any issue that may come up in either.

 

[chasbos]

Good to hear that things are settling down and cooler heads are now talking to each other!

Have a good time at WDW - which I am sure you will now that things are better at home.

 

[Jessd]

I am happy that you guys are talking again. Having good communication is not always easy, but it is one of the best things you can have.

Nobody is perfect, we all have flaws. We should all try to remember that before judging other people.

I hope you have a great time! Don't forget to bring her something special from your trip.

Jess

 

[cardaway]

Be sure you know the difference between making things last longer and actually solving the problem. There is a difference.

 

[TigerBear]

I'm glad y'all talked last night. I just bought a marriage book this week that seems really on target. You might want to take a look at it - it get's very good reviews on Amazon.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/06...104-7340074-4867108?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

Best of luck to you!

 

[helenabear]

I'm glad y'all talked last night. I just bought a marriage book this week that seems really on target. You might want to take a look at it - it get's very good reviews on Amazon.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0609805797/qid=1138377225/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-7340074-4867108?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

Best of luck to you!

That is a really good book in general. A bit "fluffy" for what I enjoy reading, but I really respect him as an author and a researcher. I read that book as extra credit during one of my studies and found a LOT of good in it!

Good luck to y'all! I really think y'all still need joint counceling. I think you two need to get on the same page with parenting for starters. I am glad you didn't throw in the towel though. Enjoy the trip too.