I'M Baaaack.. PrincessAurora & Catwoman Attack Wilderness Lodge-page 5, now w/ pics

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Love, love, loving your trip report! Keep up the hilarious work!!

 

[PrincessAurora]

We beat a hasty retreat out of the park and over to the Polynesian. We had dinner ressies at Narcooses (a first for me) based solely on the fact that Chef Gray moved from Citricos to here and after all, Chef Gray is God. We had time for drinks before dinner and I always wanted to sample the fruity drinks at the Poly. I tried in 2004 after dinner at Victoria & Alberts but was sidelined with a “bad burrito moment” brought on by too much of a good thing.

I had heard tales of the Lapu Lapu otherwise known as a “time bomb inside a pineapple”. We didn’t want to get too trashed so opted for some tamer selections. Catwoman had the pineapple mohito which she thought was very nice. I got the Pina Colava. It was a pina colada with raspberry vodka and raspberry puree. It was very good but didn’t look like the picture. Stupid bartender. In the picture it is white (like a pina colada) with swirls of raspberry through it so it looks like lava. Hence, Pina Colava. He mixed it together so it was all pink. Stupid.

However even with all the non-attention to detail, it did taste really yummy so I will let the stupid bartender live, for now.

This is really a nice bar. There is one problem. O’Hanas. During prime eating time (which is 5-9 I am thinking) it is LOUD. Tons of screaming children hyped up on sugar, endeavoring to kill my buzz and get me on my highest horse –

CHILDREN AT THE BAR.

OK, let’s get something straight. This is a bar. Anyone under 21 years of age is not allowed under any circumstances to sit at or on the bar. At all, period. This is the law. Sit in the lounge, sit elsewhere but do NOT put little Timmy or Suzie on the bar. You know what will happen? 8 out of 10 times, they will snake out their little hand and grab a glass of booze. They don’t have to drink it or try to drink it or intend to drink it, just touch it and that does what? Disney gets in trouble with ABC and could lose their license. Kids are kids. They aren’t expected to know all the ins and outs of society at an early age. Adults are suppose to be the responsible ones. So do that and set the example.

Don’t even try flaming me about this or I will poke you in the head with my high heel shoe. Ok, we got it. Whew – I feel better now. Hope we all learned something.

Now we head over to Narcooses and I am all excited. We have to wait just a few minutes for our table. No problem. I do get to hear this fine exchange between a mother and her boy. He is all hyper, she is tired.

Mom – Give Mommy your gum
Boy – (spits gum in her hand) - (grabs Moms purse and is going through it like a ferret)
Mom – Honey, don’t put your hand in Mommy’s private place.

HUH??!! (I do a double take. Dad has that look on his face that says “Mommys private place is for Daddy.”) I get all creeped out but before I can tell Catwoman we get seated.

They seat us not far from the door and I ask if Chef Gray is working tonight (he better be). They tell me he is no longer there. What? WHAT??!!!! I explain that they only reason I was eating here was because of Chef Gray and where is he and what did you do to him? Don't you understand that I flew over an entire continent just to see him (and The Mouse) but his food is a big part of my trip.

The hostess must have thought I was as crazy as the President of the “I want to Marry Sanjai.. Sanjaya.. (That Weird Kid from American Idol) Fan Club”.

Catwoman is giving me the “you promised no more Lucy Ricardo stunts of insanity and I am not stuffing chocolate in my hat” type of looks. I sit down. I pout. I get over it. I try to make the best of it.

Our waiter shows up and starts to explain the saga of Chef Gray.

NEXT: Chef Joe, the Secret place to drink w/ my bear, PICTURES!

 

[alabamagirl]

Yay! Still enjoying your report. Looking forward to more!!!!!

 

[melk]

More please, more!!

 

[wilma-bride]

Way to leave us hanging - I want to know what happened to Chef Gray (and I don't even know him )

Loving your reports still

 

[alexramz1515]

Great trip report so far! Dont leave us hanging! more more more

 

[PrincessAurora]

After I stopped crying, I met Chef Joe. I was drawn to him since he was from Alameda , just a spit from Oakland where I am living so there was a camaraderie there. He knew Gray and liked him a lot. It seemed that Chef Gray is now in Georgia or Alabama or squirrel butt, Arkansas (apologies to all the good people from the wonderful State of Arkansas – I am sure not all of your cities are named after a rodents hind quarters). He is teaching now and I’m sure opening a restaurant. When I win the lottery, he will live with me in my castle in the sky and be my personal chef.

Anyway, back on Earth, Chef Joe asked what we were ordering. I had decided to order the surf & turf because I never get good lobster and we are on the dining plan so I figured it would be cost effective. He was disappointed. While the surf & turf is a staple, he said it really isn’t anything special. So I decided to order what he recommended as well as Catwoman. Boy, am I so glad I did. Narcooses is now my favorite place for dinner. (Uncle Romulus, you can go back there now.)

The rest will have to wait until the food review but it does involve a near Lucy Ricardo stunt that Catwoman tackled me for.

Well after that lovely dinner, we headed back to the lodge. We decided on a plan. A plan of spectacular – nay – BIBLICAL proportions. First we dumped our stuff in the room and took pictures of the my Mickey Bear that Mousekeeping posed. Then we bought a bottle of Iron Horse Fairy Tale Curvee ($25) from the mercantile. I wanted to take one home but we are shipping our bags and this bottle of wine is more than 3 oz. for carry on. #$*^@*#^*^@# TERRORISTS!!!!! (And stupid administrators with their Grrrrr animal warning system and 3-1-1 bag system. I vote for rabid dogs……)

Deep breath – anyway……

We take our champagne, our leftovers, a bucket of ice, some glasses, some books and my bear and start our trek. We head up to the 4th floor (maybe 5th), headed towards the front of the lodge and settled into one of the “living rooms” they have with big comfy chairs and a fireplace.

Here is a picture of my Mickey bear guarding our bubbly:

Here is a picture of my Mickey bear getting drunk with Catwoman:

She is mysterious and you are never going to see her in all her glory. Her beauty would blind you (and she would have to kill you). The only DIS’ers who saw her and lived… well that is for tomorrow.

It was incredible. The best idea EVER! It was so relaxing. It was so cool. We must have been there for an hour or so. You could watch the goings on in the lobby, including (I kid you not), the kid on a stick horse that got away from the Whispering Canyon corral and started “galloping” around the lobby while the crowd shouted “JERRY JERRY” just like the Springer show. I was waiting for a large woman, missing a few teeth, or a blond hooker to chase after him or some guy with a chair running around trying to hit him.

The lobby started to empty as people sought the comfort of their beds. Today we walked 24,468 steps in the park. Go us!

NEXT: ZDAD & ZMOM, Epcot, turning Mickey on

 

[Philadisney]

I just stumbled upon your new report - I loved your past ones! I can't wait to start reading, yipee!

 

[PrincessAurora]

Sunday – April 22, 2007

Today is our first Epcot day. It is an all day Epcot extravaganza! Really. I head outside via our sliding glass door but no otters in sight. There are the usual ducks (who give us a wide berth since we don’t feed them) and the bunnies, who still behave like scared rabbits, and don’t seem to realize that I am their Queen.

I wear my black sexy hip hugger pants with the eyes on the butt, black shirt and my pink crocs. Yes, they are clown shoes – stop it already.

I decide to take the scenic route to Epcot. Forget the bus for today, there will be plenty of time for that when we are all tired, drunk and smashed in there like sardines.

We decide to take the boat over to the Contemporary, go upstairs, take the monorail to the TTC and transfer to the Epcot monorail. I figured it was a little longer than the bus but this way Catwoman could see the atrocity that is the “futuristic toaster” otherwise known as the Contemporary resort.

For the few of you that think the toaster is the best thing since sliced bread. Heh.. toaster, bread… deal. It’s ugly and sterile and full of funky colors and shriners with their funny hats but if that floats your boat, go with God.

So we head to the boat dock and are just standing there minding our own business when I see it…. A LIME GREEN RIBBON! Even better, it has DIS written on it with a name. I am so happy I am about to wet myself. Catwoman backs up since being a cat she has an aversion to moisture. This also means I am about to assault total strangers and she is trying to maintain her secret identity. I have no secret identity. I am wearing my lime green Mickey Head with DIS PrincessAurora on it. Wait, I guess my real name is my secret identity however it doesn’t take too much digging on the net to figure it out.

Anyway, I bounce over to introduce myself. And this is how I met ZMOM & ZDAD

They were on their way to the Magic Kingdom, this being their first day in the park. Their WDW vacation ritual is to do Magic Kingdom first to set the mood with the park magic. I always do Animal Kingdom first as it is an easy park and ramps things up. Everyone has their own ritual thing. They were a very nice couple. They invited us to the DIS meet later that week. I guess they technically invited me since Catwoman was hanging back and I neglected to introduce her since I didn’t want to alert people to her presence. They might call Commissioner Gordon, who knows? The fact remains that they are the only people in the DIS Universe to have seen Catwoman and lived. Good job ZMOM & ZDAD! I wish I could have done the DIS meet but we would be back in California by then.

Our boat for the Contempory comes so we have to bid adieu to ZMOM & ZDAD. Hope they are reading this. Here is the picture. You can copy it now. Glad to meet you! We head over to the Contempory and head on into the hotel. I wanted to show Catwoman the Star Trek type elevators so we get in but it not only won’t talk but it won’t move either. Actually it pretends to move, we think we are moving but we aren’t. I think Disney does that to screw with drunk Shriners.

We opt for the escalator and feeling dumb. There is a whole day of wonder awaiting us at Epcot! Honest!

Next: Turning Mickey On, the flowers, I can See My House

 

[PrincessAurora]

On the way over to Epcot on the monorail (after a round of bagging on the toaster hotel) Catwoman finds Mickey is not joking. He is just hanging there, limp, flaccid if you will. Why is he so quiet? OH, she forgot to turn him on! I told her she shouldn’t be turning Mickey on in front of God and everyone right here in the Monorail. She wants to know where she should do it? Ummmmmmm, your car…., Spaceship Earth, the back row of Pirates of the Caribbean. You know, the usual places. She turns him on anyway. Mickey is back to his chipper self.

We land in Epcot and make a beeline over to Spaceship Earth because that is my ritual, ride the giant golf ball first. I think it’s a lot of people’s ritual because there is a line. However it’s a fast moving attraction and we get on in no time at all.

It seems to me that they have added a few things to our Journey Through Communication since last year or it could be that I just sleep through various parts. I do think it is cool that we are fast approaching the day when I can use a TV sized monitor to get a clear picture of my study buddy across the Globe. I know MAC has built in cameras now, it is just a matter of time. The next technological advance will be “masks” or holograms to use in place of our real face if we are drunk or hung over or didn’t put on make-up on that day. Just like Jane Jetson.

After that great, relaxing ride we head over to get a fast pass for Soarin over California. Yeah, it’s the DCA name for it, deal. I want to get a fruit croissant first at the Fountain View and… IT’S CLOSED! I am really upset. These are the best croissants ever. There is a sign directing us to The Land and since we are heading there for a fast pass we figure it’s worth a try.

It wasn’t. While it appears that their lunch selections are pretty decent, their breakfast sucks. Pure and simple. I won’t drink soda unless I am desperate and then would prefer diet but ONLY with Splenda. Nutrasweet gives me a headache and high fructose corn syrup is the spawn of the devil designed to make you fat, unhealthy and addicted to it. No thank you. At least foreign sodas use sugar. I will take sugar of that corn syrup nastiness any day of the week.

If you are just wishing that I would shut my mouth about the sugar thing, you haven’t heard anything. From the depths of a coffee addict haze, Catwoman is crying. She is now being forced to drink Nescafe. Nescafe, the spam of coffee, the brown crayon dipped in luke warm water, Nescafe who lured us into coffee complacency with their “space age newness” and riding the coat tails of Folgers crystals and beans freeze dried by Juan Valdez and his burro Sancho.

After she stops wallowing in the murk of faux coffee malaise, she starts her rant and it is a beauty. I am titleing it “Why Americans Were Brainwashed Into Drinking Nasty Coffee”. Catwoman has been to Italy and knows her coffee. She said Americans would be amazed if they could taste real coffee and espresso. It is so rich and flavorful. It isn’t a bitter concoction that needs a ton of sugar to make it drinkable. She paints a world of coffee colored puppies and kitties, gamboling around piazzas sipping espresso under spun sugar skies. It makes you want to rebel, chuck all your freeze dried grains into the bin and give yourself over to the real magic of the bean.

She has a point. I started thinking. When did the Italians become the experts on coffee? Coffee doesn’t grow in Italy. When did this start as a cultural phenomenon? I figured I would hurt myself if I thought too much. We popped into the Ladies room for a brief stop before heading over the the former Space Station Cool now renamed Club Cool. After doing our ladies business of powdering our noses and reapplying lipstick, we found the most important piece of information ever to be handed down by Disney and mankind in general

It speaks for itself.

NEXT: Beverly, designer Mac & Cheese, Brunch, Maelstrom is an E ticket ride

 

[Ron from Michigan]

You are so right. That info reminding us how to wash our hands has to be the best info Disney has ever given. I'm sure I would of forgotten to wet and dry my hands without it. Waiting for the next chapter, it's been 6 days now................

 

[PrincessAurora]

I know Ron, I suck donkey. Being stuck in house hell (SOMEONE BUY MY HOUSE) is stressful and keeps me away from my computer since I am too busy drinking to forget that I am living in a model home with 95% of my stuff packed and in boxes in the basement.

I am working on the new installment right now and I will post it within the hour before I go to a friends house to dirty their kitchen. I am baking for a party tonight. I found this FABULOUS recipe for cupcakes inside ice cream cones.

Here ladies, have at:
http://www.chocolate.com/articles/strawberry-ice-cream-cone-cupcakes.html

 

[PrincessAurora]

Since nothing can really beat instructions on how to wash your hands, we head over to Space station Cool. I know its Club Cool now but I can’t get the old name out of my head. I want to introduce Catwoman to the wonders of sodas of the World including the infamous Beverly. I was waiting for the screwed up face, the look of disgust, the vomiting into the nearest trashcan. But it didn’t happen, Catwoman being way to cagey for such vulgar displays. Ever seen cats give a look of sniffy distain to food. That is the expression on her face.

We glance at our watches (Mickey Mouse of course) and realize that we will have to move our donkies if we want to make our Fast Pass for Soarin and get to Askerhaus for our brunch ressies on time. Quick like bunnies we run over to Soarin’ where I just love proclaiming “I can see my house from here!” as we break through the clouds over the Golden Gate Bridge. OK, maybe not my house but if you look over to Oakland, you can see the general area where my house is AND if you look over at Marina Green in San Francisco, you can see where I grew up so it’s pretty true.

I never get tired of that ride. We head over to World Showcase by way of Mexico after our fly over of all the pretty California parts (no hooker ridden, drug addict, spoiled actor Hollyweird for us). It is early but we will have time to look later. Now we are off to wade through screaming children in search of some of the best food in World Showcase.

I started contemplating some new recipes. Didn’t you know I could cook? Yes I can cook. Are you straight (important), single (REALLY important), manly (don’t cry and tell me your feelings 24/7) and make a decent living (over 70k) – sorry, that is considered middle class in CA. I am sure you can live well on less in other parts of the country but I am here and I’m not moving, - then I am the wife for you. Drop me a line and we can have real coffee. No Nescafe allowed in my house.

I was thinking of a new twist on Mac & Cheese. Perhaps with Brie or a goat cheese with caramelized scallions. Hmmmmmmm, that could work. Since I don’t have a kitchen to check this, I will just write this down and test it later in my model home kitchen. I HATE LIVING IN A MODEL HOME!!!!

OK, enough ranting. We arrive at Askerhaus and I am all excited for Catwoman to try this food. I see that she is a little apprehensive of the amount of children pooling about her feet. I told her just to think of them as the Penguins annoying henchmen and just ignore them. We are here for the food.

Now there have been a few changes since I was here a year ago. Some are normal like the Princess rotation. It’s a grab bag of who you get each time. This time Aurora was the “picture Princess” in the Lobby. Sorry but there is only one Princess Aurora and you are looking at her AND my dress is correct. Hers is wrong. It’s pink and ill fitting. Princess’ can be catty in case you haven’t figured that out.

I tried to explain to the hostess that we don’t want a picture; we just want to be seated. She stares at us like we have 3 heads. I am confused. Wasn’t I speaking English? I thought they understood English. I would speak in Norwegian but I don’t know any Norwegian. I am contemplating repeating myself with a Swedish Chef accent, but Catwoman ever vigilant of my impending Lucy Ricardo stunts gives me “the eye”. It’s amazing, she can see right into my brain. I just repeat myself in normal English with a more forceful tone. No thank you, no picture, no offense but we just want to eat. They seat us in the main room at a two top. This is fine but I know will not give us enough room for all our food, my camera and my HUGE personality. I decide to deal because we are here for the food.

The main changes are to the menu. They are moving to make it a little more of a white bread direction, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Stop it people, just stop it.

I order… wait, I will put this in the upcoming food report. Let’s just say that when you are seated in the main room and we had the first ressie time, we missed some of the Princesses. Why? Because they start on the left side and work their way to the right side. Last year we were seated on the left. This year we were in the middle AND we were grown-ups with no kids. Some of the Princesses ignored us, which is just wrong. We did get photos with Ariel and Alice who was very nice but I really wanted to chat with Snow but she was taking way too long. HEY! SNOW! I know you are not the brightest bulb in the Princess pantheon but we were seated WAY before most of these people are on the left side of the middle of the room. Get your apple-eating donkey over here and show us the love. No love from Snow.

However as we were leaving, since we needed to drink more, we saw it! I am not going to put the picture here because it is someone’s little girl even though I took it so you couldn’t see her face. It is an example of the “Princess Makeover” which I would name “The Hollywood Streetwalker Cheap Trash ***** Makeover”. I know, it’s harsh but its true. WHAT are these people thinking? I have a flashback to that kiddie pageant show I saw on the plane.

I will describe this unfortunate child to you. She was blond with long wavy hair. She was very pretty and about 7 years old. She was very cute. Some tart monger did a number on her. They gave her really heavy make-up that says “I’ve spent all night in the Viper Room, doing lines with my shallow friends” and they teased up her hair, put it into a ponytail and lacquered it with spray glitter. It was trash. She was so pretty and you can give little girls a make over to do the Princess experience but NOT the hooker experience. PLEASE! I am begging you parents. I am on my knees now. Your little girls are lovely. Do NOT let someone make them look like a glitter paint streetwalker. It’s just wrong. It sends the wrong message to your daughter and to others.

Alright, now I really need a drink but first we need an E ticket ride and there is only one – MALESTROM!

Next: pocket cheese, shilling for the bakery, trolls, what they did to Mexico.

 

[mcarthur205]

Still enjoying your report and looking forward to the food report Hope you sell your house soon! I've been to that particular hades too and I feel your pain!

 

[PrincessAurora]

First let me backtrack and say there is this thin, brown cheese at Askerhaus that is the bomb! I was afraid of it at first. It is a caramelized goat cheese and I was afraid it would taste like feet or something. It is amazing. It tastes like caramel. No lie. I took extra pieces of this cheese with me. It is “pocket cheese”. What is pocket cheese you may ask? It is just a little food that I have in my pocket for when I get hungry later. Catwoman isn’t sure if secreting pocket cheese on my person classifies itself as a Lucy stunt so she lets it go. I’m sure if I pulled it out in a crowd she would have something to say about it.

While Catwoman checked in with Racer X on the Bat phone or whatever she had secreted in her shoe, I decided to hang out in the Bakery. Kringla Bakery in Norway is the bomb. I spent the next 5 minutes amusing myself by telling people what to buy or at least to encourage them to buy lots of rice cream, leftse and the many other wonders to be had.

I would so move to Norway if it weren’t for the cold and the snow and the lack of Sig Hansen from Deadliest Catch. Can you say hottest Norwegian crab fisherman ever?! He is married to a beautiful blond Norwegian woman and they have a fleet of blond Norwegian children. Just my luck. First I can’t get George Lucas to marry me and now Sig is taken. I am getting depressed and you know what the cure for depression is?

That’s right – Maelstrom! It’s an E ticket ride! Why? Well you are in a Viking ship and how cool is that? You also see giant Trolls and they make you go backwards with their ancient Troll magic. That is an E ticket in my book. Catwoman is looking at me with the look that says “Is this ride just regular gay or flaming Judy Garland show tune gay?” She liked it. I knew she would. I didn’t even make her stay to watch the travelogue. Norway is a beautiful country but face it, once you’ve seen one fjord, you’ve seen them all.

So we needed to now back track to Mexico. I should mention that when we lived together it was in Los Angeles and we are only 4 hours from Tijuana or TJ as we call it. Thus Mexican art is nothing that we can’t get directly from Mexico if we want to. Most people don’t have that luxury. We make a cursory run though the little market place that is forever nestled under starry Disney skies and head for the next ride. The River of Time. Now this was the lamest ride in Epcot. It was old, dated and really pretty insulting to Mexicans. Really strange since the ride was designed by Mexicans from Mexico. Each country has the input on what goes into their pavilion and someone in Mexico looked at that ride and decided it was peachy keen fine. They need a good boot in the junk.

Well, now it has undergone a makeover and I was interested to see what was different. The theme now is the Three Caballeros. I guess I should write Tres Caballeros because mixing languages is just confusing. If you do, you could just as well write the Tres Cowboys. If you aren’t familiar with these Disney short characters, there are 2 parrots and Donald Duck. Yup, white bread Donald and his potty mouth are going South of the Border. I have a feeling about this and it is tres shades of bad.

Next: what they did to the ride, Germany and Italy.

 

[PrincessAurora]

OK, OK, there is Donald, a parrot and a rooster. I think he is a rooster. 2 other birds and Donald. There ya go. So we get into the boat and off we do, floating past the volcano (which still could use a severed head bouncing down the temple steps) and entered the NEW IMPROVED River of Time.

You know, just because something is new doesn’t make it better. Ummmm, this ride isn’t good. It doesn’t suck and isn’t quite as bad as the old one but … it’s still bad. At least the old one had the excuse of being outdated and you could laugh and its dumbness. This is new (pretty much) so its harder to find excuses.

To paraphrase the Mad Hatter “Begin at the beginning and when you get to the end….stop” so we enter the new river of time.

The Aztec Interpretive Dance scene is gone. In fact there is not an Aztec in sight. In its place are cartoon scenes, movies that creep along the walls that show the Rooster & Parrot in Mexican bliss and there is PO ’d Donald. Poor Donald. We don’t really understand what he is doing there except getting the stuffing beat out of him for no apparent reason except for his bad temper and speech impediment. Are they trying to say that if you are spitting and jumping around, we don’t want you in Mexico ? What caused Donald do go off like this? Who knows. I think Donald has a chemical imbalance. We should ask Owl from Winnie the Pooh. He is smart. He’ll know why the Mexicans don’t like Donald.

This is really starting to bother me. Why don’t they like him? Well, there are a few Small World type children whacking Donald like a piñata. Hey! There are some Aztecs….kind of….. a few contestants from the “Miss Aztec” pageant but without the virgin sacrifice. More scenes of Donald getting into wacky situations that we can’t really comprehend BUT the good thing is that the 1970’s grainy water skier is gone as is the insufferable chiclet peddlers. At least they got rid of that insulting stereotype (if sometimes true if you’ve ever been to a resort in Mexico , you know all about this. But they are mostly kids. I guess they figure little kids aren’t as annoying as adults chasing after you trying to get you to buy Chiclets or you will feel sorry for them). I am just glad they are gone.

We now enter the plaza with the carousel and the fiesta. The fireworks are still there which is pretty cool though I still don’t know what they are celebrating per say. Now you head to the last video wall where the Parrot and the Rooster are playing and happy smiling people are cheering “Viva Donald”??!!!! WHAT??!! This makes NO sense. I have learned this from the Mexican tourist board. They are drinking WAY too much tequila when they are planning these rides because they make no sense. Now I didn’t ride this drunk like usual so maybe it will make more sense after you’ve had a few cervesas or Margaritas.

The kids will like it if just for the cool, non-scary content and Donald. The best I can say about this incarnation is that is no longer terribly culturally embarrassing.

Well now that we’ve gotten that out of our system, we high tail it over to Germany . Why? We need a drink and I really don’t like those 5 layer margaritas. WAY too sweet for me and I am suspicious of any drink that comes out of a machine as far as cleanliness goes. Catwoman agrees.

Germany has clocks, chocolate and o my god… Germany has James. James is an Aryan dreamboat. Tall, blond, ice blue eyes, chiseled jaw, sculpted pecs, sitting there in his “I am Hansel all grown up” outfit, making little masks with the kids. I am in love. So what do I do? The same thing any red-blooded American psycho woman does. I stalk him.

I run to get Catwoman because I think this may curb my impulse to tackle him right in the middle of the Hummel shop. Catwoman gives me the look, then looks at James, looks back at me and shrugs. I take this as a “I see what you mean. I’m married. Go for it but don’t get us arrested”.

I look at insufferable Hummel figurines that I wouldn’t put in my house on a bet, I try to catch his eye, I start thinking that my chances would be better if I was blond and was named Hilda. Then he looks at me! Yes, he does. He looks right at me and I … smile and run. Like a French surrender monkey I hightail it out of the store as fast as my clown shoes can carry me. I realize that I am just too old for these shenanigans. Really. I also realize that I am still sober BUT Italy is right next door so we head there. So much for the international language of love between me and James.

Next: the nature of service in Italy , hot Italian men, why Japan is the best ever for Catwoman

 

[melk]

The kids will like it if just for the cool, non-scary content and Donald.

I suppose a severed head bouncing down the temple steps would qualify as a "scare factor," thus they leave it out. But I like it.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Well after a morning of Norwegian yummies, Mexican ducks and hot German guys, Catwoman wanted coffee and she wanted it badly. We all know the difficulty in getting good coffee in WDW. So when we think of coffee, cappuccino, espresso, we think of Italy. Fortunalty, Italy is right next door and there is a coffee stall out front. The down side is that they didn't have what she wanted, an espresso macchiato caldo or a hot marked strong coffee.

Catwoman is going to kill me for oversimplifying that but its the best I can do. You see, she has been to the real Italy (twice) and I haven't although I am genetically Italian (partly) and she is not (not even a little) - HA! She strikes up a conversation with the hot Italian guy that was working. Once he understands that (a) she just got back from his hometown of Roma, (b) knows some Italian and (c) knows her coffee, he makes her the coffee drink of her dreams. I just want alcohol. I get a glass of Rosa Regals (the rose petal champagne, that's what it tastes like!) and listen in on the Italian chatter of international good will going on while Catwoman gets her espresso.

We sit and drink in the piazza while Catwoman tells me about the culture of service in Italy. You see, here in America our waiters fall into certain categories. There is (A) Diner waitresses in truck stops and greasy spoons with huge hair and their name pinned on a lacy doily over their breast. Think "Alice" if you are old enough to remember that show. Next is (B) your average chain waiter who is usually a teen - late twenties something person who is either supporting their kid/waiting for their big break in acting and needs afternoons for the stray Burger King commercial or just can't get another job or (C) the snooty high end waiter, usually male, usually with an attitude as big as Paris Hiltons lack of brains. They just live to make you feel stupid and inferior.

However in Italy, service is a noble profession. They take great pride in serving you, are incredibly good at it and make sure you know how much they LOVE making you feel at home. It helps when you appreciate their work and the food. In Italy it is all about the experience, the ambiance, the love. Here it is about how fast we can throw something in front of you in the shortest amount of time so we can get another butt in your seat as quick as possible. We never just stop and smell the roses here. We are too busy running like crazy to the next pre-processed box of chicken tenders. By the way, chickens don't have tenders. They have legs, thighs, breasts but no tenders. Just thought you would like to know.

Well after that education in Italian table service and the fact that I know have some more alcohol in my blood stream, we head to Japan where I hope to see the candy lady!

 

[mcarthur205]

Waiting patiently for the next installment ......

 

[Philadisney]

well i finally had a chance to sit down and read your TR straight though. hilarrrrrious! too many funny parts to mention (i think my favorite was something like "why buy the mouse when you can get the squeak for free?" )
i hope you did get to see miyuki! she is so much fun.