I'm about to cry

[Disneymom2kiddos]

Just found out my FIL has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, and we leave for our first ever holiday trip on property in 49 days. We are also celebrating our daughter's birthday while we are there. We have MVMCP tickets already, and everything is booked and paid for. Luckily, I had them add trip insurance too at the time of payment. I am distraught. They have told him he has anywhere from 2-6 months to live, and we don't know if we should go ahead and cancel, or wait and see what happens (I know, morbid) I know the Christmas party tickets are non refundable, so that is a no brainer, and I have BBB and all of our FP's/ADR's that would have to be cancelled too. I would love to hear from anyone that may have gone through this or something similar. Thanks

 

[staceyrhood]

I am so very sorry. This is a very personal decision, all I can say is that Disney will always be here.

I was at Epcot this morning, We were standing on the steps to Mexico waiting for it to open, the girl in front of us (probably about 15) was on the phone and starting crying, she looked at her mom and said "Oh my God, Grandma is in the hospital...emergency surgery...its her heart!" The Mom's face dropped and she started crying and said "what are we going to do?", they went around the corner to talk on the phone.

I felt so bad for them, I could not imagine something happening like that and being far from home, I know that things happen that are not expected, but the look on their faces, it was so sad. I don't know if this helps, it just made me think of seeing this family today.

My thoughts are with you

 

[Laura66]

I'm so very sorry.

Me? I'd reschedule. I'd want to spend as much time as I could with him and be there for his family and my family. I'd be afraid he'd pass while we were gone - and if he was still holding on no way could I enjoy the trip.

Keeping your family in my thoughts.

 

[Soarin4us]

I've stood in your shoes. Since you asked... Cancel. You can take the trip another time.
Prayers for you all.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I've stood in your shoes. Since you asked... Cancel. You can take the trip another time.
Prayers for you all.

 

[Pumbaa_]

What is hte very latest you can cancel?

Take a deep breath and if you have a little time, wait and see. So much can happen to his course

Does he live near you? Are you involved in their life regularly? (crass questions I know, but things to consider)

It is a very difficult decision to make, esp with kids expectations involved as well as all hte planning!

You will know what decision is best for YOUR family. Sending good thoughts and pixie dust

 

[davedmaine]

Cancel it and best of luck to your FIL

 

[Mama2girlz]

I'd recommend talking with him about it. My guess is he would want you to go.

 

[kangamangus]

What is hte very latest you can cancel?

Take a deep breath and if you have a little time, wait and see. So much can happen to his course

Does he live near you? Are you involved in their life regularly? (crass questions I know, but things to consider)

It is a very difficult decision to make, esp with kids expectations involved as well as all hte planning!

You will know what decision is best for YOUR family. Sending good thoughts and pixie dust

I agree with this 100% it's hard to know what anyone would do, my husband hasn't talked to his father in 36 years. I have never met the man so my answer would be very different then someone who sees their father in law daily. I live next door to my parents and see them several times a day so in that case my answer would be to cancel the trip no question, or heck see if they could come along for one last memory, maybe move the trip up to a sooner date to spend that special time with them.

 

[Hope Counts]

As someone else says this depends on the relationship your FIL has with your family and how your husband feels about this.
In my situation we are very close to both my ILs so we would want that time with him more then the trip.
We would either try to reschedule for sooner so he could join us if he was up for it or cancel and spend time with him as much as possible but that works for our family.

 

[kmorlock]

So sorry for your family. I think everyone's sentiments above cover most of it. Proves the Disney fans have big hearts! Just a shot but, maybe contacting Guest Services, not regular reservations but specify GS when calling. They may be able to help you move your ressies and make the modifications up or back without losing any promos? They may be sensitive to your situation and provide some options regular reservations cannot. Best wishes to you and your family through this difficult time. When you do go, I hope it is an amazing trip!

 

[scrapquitler]

Just found out my FIL has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, and we leave for our first ever holiday trip on property in 49 days. We are also celebrating our daughter's birthday while we are there. We have MVMCP tickets already, and everything is booked and paid for. Luckily, I had them add trip insurance too at the time of payment. I am distraught. They have told him he has anywhere from 2-6 months to live, and we don't know if we should go ahead and cancel, or wait and see what happens (I know, morbid) I know the Christmas party tickets are non refundable, so that is a no brainer, and I have BBB and all of our FP's/ADR's that would have to be cancelled too. I would love to hear from anyone that may have gone through this or something similar. Thanks

First, it's great that you have trip insurance, so you can at least relax about losing all the money.

Now, if it were ME, I would wait as long as possible to make a decision.

He may hang on long beyond your trip, and if he is hanging on you might decide that having a break and getting away with your kids is a good thing for stress relief. On the other hand, he may not last anywhere near as long as the seven weeks until your trip, and the whole process of him passing away and having the funeral may be long over by then, and the trip might be a good way for you all to regroup and relax.

From personal experience: my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, and he was told he would have 1-6 months to live. That was the week before Memorial Day, and he passed away on June 19. We had already been sitting at the hospital for about six weeks, and then those last few weeks sitting at his house were really stressful. After all that, we were all exhausted and burned out, and would have liked to have a vacation to look forward to for a chance to relax and regroup after. Had I been looking at a trip planned for a couple months away, I would have not put my life on hold 'just in case', I would have waited until the last minute to cancel.

When my Mom died, my brother was driving to the west coast with my nephew, who was on his way to his new duty station in Seattle. They were in Montana with a broken down car the day that Mom suddenly passed away. They didn't have an option to do anything but wait for the car to be fixed and finish the drive to Washington, then have my brother fly back as scheduled, four days later. We held the funeral several extra days for my brother to be able to get back and for my nephew to get his stuff in order with the military to be granted emergency leave and fly back. If you do decide to take the trip, you might want to discuss with your family prior to going what will happen if he passes away while you are away - will you fly back early? Will they hold the funeral after you return? will you ask them to not tell you until you return? These are things that you should clarify before hand if you do decide to go.

I'm not telling you what to do by any means, I'm just telling you how I would have felt and what I would have thought about.

I'm so sorry you have to go thru this. It sucks to watch your parent suffer like this.

 

[ktlm]

I am so very very sorry. I went through this with my Father. I don't think you should make a quick decision when you are still in shock from the diagnosis. WDW is good about rescheduling due to family emergencies. Flights can be changed. Give it a little time to sink in and see where things are headed before you make the decision.

Also, I think the decision is one for your husband and FIL to make. Do you live near your FIL? Your DH may not want to leave your FILs side, or he may need the trip to recharge. The kids may need to get away and have some happiness. Your FIL may want you to go on the trip. Your whole family, including your FIL, my want your daughter to have a good birthday and may want her to get that trip because of everything that is going on. If FIL is local, you may be needed to help out if things aren't going well. If your FIL lives farther away from you, then unless you plan on using your trip time to be by his side instead, there may not be any reason to cancel your trip- as long as your FIL and DH are okay with you doing that.

It is so hard to know where he will be in 49 days. It may be just a regular week where he isn't doing horribly. It may progress more quickly. There is just no way to tell yet. That is one of the things about lung cancer. If they go the treatment route and he really responds well, it could buy him some time beyond what they told you. But- the treatment can be rough, and that can take a toll and it may not buy the extra time. It is going to be a rough road. The main thing is just to support your DH, and to follow his lead a bit in what to do. Support him in whatever his position is on the trip. My heart goes out to all of you.

 

[RDawn]

Dear Disneymom Donna,
Is it possible that your FIL will want you to take your vacation? Ask for his input before you cancel anything. It may be that he will find joy in sharing your fun through texts, calls & Skype. My brother passed from lung cancer a few years ago & his loss of energy prevented him from participating in many activities, but he loved to receive pics & texts to stay updated on my kid's activities. He was diagnosed with stage 4 and was given 6 months. He lived 4 more years...
Take several deep breaths before you decide anything. I am glad for you that you have such a good relationship with him that you want to cherish your time together. I will pray for you & your family

 

[Empress Becky B]

My aunt was also diagnosed with Stage four Lung cancer just this summer, the week after I moved from NY to FL. She lives in PA. It has been very difficult being far away while the rest of my family rallies around her. She was given a 50% chance to survive longer than 8 mos. We are three months into treatment and 3rd round of chemo. She has lost her hair but going strong. Don't count your FIL out yet, delay making decisions and when it gets closer to the situation sit with your hubby and decide what the two of you can live with. For your kids let them know that you still want to take them but you are going to be flexible with your plans. Best of Luck and lots of prayers for your entire family. For an additional note, I've been involved in Relay for Life with American Cancer Society for many year and I would strongly encourage you to call their 800 number and get all the support and advice you can. Not just financial but emotional and medical as well.

 

[Disneymom2kiddos]

I am sitting here literally crying from all of the kind words you all have said. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is worse than we thought it was going to be, as the combination of first getting the X-rays (he had pneumonia) CT scans, and then finally the PET scan results today, showed that the cancer is in his lungs, brain and liver. We are not worried about the trip. We have the trip insurance, so we're ok. All we can think of is how much time he might have left. My DH and I got the full story tonight, and it sounds like his Dad must have had cancer for years per his oncologist, as large as the tumor was in his lungs ( 11 x 7 cm) evidently it is non small cell lung cancer (squamous cell) and it is slow growing. He is a heavy smoker, and this type is mostly associated with smokers. My FIL would only go (rarely) to immediate care centers when he was sick, most of the time he would just tough it out, and that is why it was never caught. Plus, he told us he was afraid to go to his family physician and get a physical, because he didn't want to find out he had cancer. So now we will take a deep breath, and wait and see what his oncologist says at his appt next week. I have rarely posted much on here, (I guess I'm a lurker) but loved reading everyone's trip reports, and all of the good advice that has helped my family on our past trips to WDW. You guys have such big hearts. Thank you again for being so kind. ~ Donna

 

[FlightlessDuck]

If your trip is insured, you should cancel. My MIL passed away from lung cancer in April. There is no way we would have enjoyed ourselves on a trip to begin with, and if she happened to pass away while we were away, we'd never forgive ourselves.

If it were me, I'd cancel.

 

[Empress Becky B]

Donna, I'm subscribing to this thread and keeping your entire family in my thoughts. Take your time processing everything and please pm me if you have any questions about American Cancer Society.

 

[Disneymom2kiddos]

Thank you Becky, I will. Right now we are just in a holding pattern. We will find out more details next week, when we talk to the doctor first hand. I am sick to my stomach thinking about it, so we will be praying hard until then.

 

[Empress Becky B]

Thank you Becky, I will. Right now we are just in a holding pattern. We will find out more details next week, when we talk to the doctor first hand. I am sick to my stomach thinking about it, so we will be praying hard until then.

I completely understand that feeling. My mother in law is a breast cancer survivor and my Father In Law lives and fights multiple myeloma (bone marrow cancer) every day. My aunt was very important to me growing up and the first few weeks they thought it had moved to her brain and gave us a very grim outlook. Luckily they were mistaken but we know if she lasts a year we were given a gift. Just remember none of you are alone in this fight and caregivers need care too. {{{HUGS}}}