If you told a friend things in confidence

[CathrynRose]

Just curious on some opinions here.

If you vented to a co-worker/friend in confidence about something someone said that just really rubbed you the wrong way, what would you do if that friend told the person you were talking about? Would you still consider them a friend? Would you just "write it off" or would you say something?

BTW, it doesn't bother me that this other person knows they said something that didn't sit well with me.

Would consider them only what they are: A Co-Worker.

I have made some close friendships within my companies, but theyre never quite 'friends'. I wouldnt confide in a co-worker, to begin with...there are too many politics to deal with in that situation. Ive seen too many of them be jabber-jaws about everything & anything -

On that note - Im sorry she/he did that to you...

 

[CathrynRose]

Here's a twist on this, my bosss will vent to me about something another emplyee is doing that she does not approve of. She does this with everyone. It's almost like she is afraid to confront that person. Sometimes I will alert that person that the boss said "such and such" about her.

??? YOur boss is open enough to let you go in and vent, and might mention something about whom youre venting about, then you go out and tell that person she said that????

Thats not cool at all.

 

[cynsaun]

I agree with this. I learned long time ago there are very few people you can trust, and the ones you can trust are worth their weight in gold!

Amen, sistah!

 

[Stitchfans]

I wouldn't trust them any more, and yes I would say something to them.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I've had this happen, so what I did was not cut the person out of my life, I just treated her very casually. I didn't tell her anything of importance, and I didn't let her confide in me.

Her loss. Really.

I agree!

 

[Aidensmom]

Thank you for all of your opinions. I am still thinking through what I want to do tomorrow.

 

[nwdisgal]

That person sounds so Junior High. You tell her something in confidence and then she runs and tells the person you were talking about.

You are better off without that friend.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Here's a twist on this, my bosss will vent to me about something another emplyee is doing that she does not approve of. She does this with everyone. It's almost like she is afraid to confront that person. Sometimes I will alert that person that the boss said "such and such" about her.

Sorry but that's just wrong, IMO. I say MYOB.

I made the mistake of becoming "friends" with coworkers at my old job. I got completely screwed over by them and I did what another poster said: remember they are coworkers. I ditched the friend thing and just kept it professional, as it should have been. I have all the friends I needed outside of work.

 

[debbiedoo]

Nope. Telling someone something in confidnence does not mean 'go tell it on the mountain.'

I would not trust that person anymore.

Ditto

They are co-workers ---

when you go to work you drop off your life and when you go home from the office you leave it at the office----

too many people get hurt by that goes on in the office place -- do these people not have a life?? some people just do not know when to stop

 

[mickeyfan2]

Did you ask them not to say anything? I don't have enough information to make a decision one way or the other. Maybe the friend thought that is what would wanted her to talk to the other person.

 

[Mamu]

Sadly we learn things the hard way. If you don't want anyone to know something, keep it to yourself, because things said in private have a way of coming back to haunt us.


I guess the best way to avoid all of this is not tell anyone how you feel, and if you need to tell someone, why not that person. Maybe they will hate you for it or maybe they will respect you for being honest with them, instead of talking about them behind their backs.