If you can only afford to go to a vacation destination once...

[rnorwo1]

... do you wait until all of your kids are old enough to remember it? Or do you just worry about whether or not they will enjoy it in the present?

We love to travel, but like most have limited budgets. Hopefully that will change one day, but the last few years we have been limiting ourselves to Disney, Gatlinburg, and the beach b/c those are the easiest for our 3 children, who are all 4 plus years apart in age. The oldest is 10 and the youngest just turned 2. I was able to go to Germany last year for work and my DH and oldest son came with me, and that was wonderful, but it killed me to be apart from the two younger ones for 10 days.

Many people have criticized us about taking our kids to WDW so young and my response is always that it's more about them enjoying it now rather than remembering it. But, I also know that we are going to keep returning to WDW. Now, as the kids are getting older I want to look at other places (Williamsburg, Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Southern CA, Hawaii, Alaska, etc.. and of course trips abroad), but most of these places I'm assuming we'll probably only go to once, due to cost and, now that we're closer to 40 than 30, we are just running out of time for going everywhere that we want to go... since we cannot afford to take 5 trips every year!

So, do we just go on and go to places that the youngest will enjoy now but will never remember, or do we wait another 4 years or so, when my oldest may not want to be caught dead in public with us?!

Just curious as to how all of you balanced these things out! Thanks for your thoughts!

 

[mrsklamc]

Go now if you can afford it. It doesn't have to be about the kids- when they're older they can go to the places they are interested in. If heaven forbid something happens to you or your DH or your financial position changes you will be glad you have the memories. I literally took one vacation my entire childhood and I lived- it will be ok if the littles don't remember and it will be great for your 10 year old.

 

[Colleen27]

We're holding off on once-in-a-lifetime trips until our youngest is about 5, but that's not entirely so that she'll remember. It is also so that we can enjoy more of those destinations without the demands and limitations of a toddler or preschooler. I know that we wouldn't really be able to enjoy places like Hawaii or Costa Rica or Europe or even the National Parks out west right now while our youngest is still in a stroller and too young/small for the "adventure" type activities, so we're sticking to tamer destinations like Disney, the Great Lakes region, and the East Coast for right now.

I wouldn't worry too much about your oldest not wanting to vacation with you as a teen. It is something he's grown up with and getting away from home is a nice break for teens who feel the need to maintain that "too cool" facade at home. Our oldest is 13 and looking forward to Disney, even if he does tell his friends that "My mom is dragging me to Disney World". Once we're there he relaxes and has a lot of fun acting like a little kid... for his baby (2yo) sister's sake of course. We left him out of one Disney trip, at his insistence that he didn't care about going back, and we weren't home a week before he was asking when we were going again because he was sad he missed all the character fun with the 2yo.

 

[DL55]

I would wait a little longer until the littlest can sit still longer. As for the future teen, too bad so sad they're coming with you anyway. I'm sure they'll have fun eventually.
I don't think you have to wait 4 years though. Just start with those closer and work your way to Hawaii (long flight).
Do what you feel is best.

 

[Cin]

I have fond memories of a trip to Disneyland in Anaheim when I was only 4. And that was a long time ago. Take the kids and have fun enjoying what you can afford now because you're still going to make precious memories. Live for today and enjoy today for you never know what tomorrow may bring.

 

[VAfamily1998]

I think with kids spaced like that...if you wait too long for your youngest to be "able to remember it", you run the risk of not being able to go because of your oldest--as kids get older things like extra curicular activities will take up lots of time and it will be harder to get away. I know that when I was younger, we started taking less vacations as I got older (I was the oldest child out of 3)--summers started getting more difficult because I would take summer school classes (enrichment, not remedial ), have summer jobs, I was in marching band and there were mandatory practices during the summer, etc.

We've taken a few "once in a lifetime" type trips throughout the years, even though our younger kids might have been a little too young to remember it. For example, we drove cross country and back one summer--we took a whole month to do it and stopped at several sites--our boys were 8, 6, 4, and 2 at the time.

 

[Happy Mom2]

Take the kids and have fun enjoying what you can afford now because you're still going to make precious memories. Live for today and enjoy today for you never know what tomorrow may bring.

I agree 100%! Go now... enjoy... make memories.

 

[rnorwo1]

Thanks for all the thoughts! I've shared each one of them at different times, ha ha. I keep going back and forth, depending on the day and how high maintenance the baby has been that day! Although I would LOVE to go to Hawaii next year (my sister found a great deal and wanted us to go with them), I will have mercy on the fellow airplane passengers and wait another few years before attempting that flight with DS2.

And it is a good point that we don't owe these vacations to the kids... although I definitely want to provide them with the most experiences that we can afford, I guess I need to not feel guilty if we cannot provide each of them with the same experiences. That may be easier said than done, but that's probably another thread

 

[mrsklamc]

I guess I need to not feel guilty if we cannot provide each of them with the same experiences.

Just remember that 'not the same' doesn't necessarily mean 'better/worse.' Besides, there are so many things in life that aren't going to turn out equally for each kid, that's not something I would stress about. My brother, sister, and I each went on different trips as preteens/teens with different school and church groups. We each valued our different experience- they weren't necessarily better or worse.

 

[RHMH]

I am a single custodial parent of a 11 year old daughter. We have been traveling together since the age of 3.

We have been to Japan twice to visit my parents, Paris, Australia and many hot spots in the US. We have gone to Disneyworld 10 times, Tokyo Disney and Paris Disney. My daughter remembers all of our trips. We are inseparable and not only Father and Daughter, we are best friends. My daughter has talked about riding in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon since 4 year old.

No matter what anyone says, travel with your kids if the budget allows it no matter how young they are. They will remember, grow tremendously and being exposed to other cultures is good for all of us. It's GOOD It's All GOOD.....

You are doing the right thing.

Single father for 11 years.

 

[PHXscuba]

Go, but go smart. Some "big trips" you can do earlier -- stroller-friendly, not a lot of walking, opportunity for naps, no long plane flights, etc. I would say of the ones you listed that Williamsburg and Southern California would be high on that list. Even if the youngest won't remember it as well, take lots of photos. They work up from there. You probably won't be able to do them all, but you can prioritize which ones are possible in the next eight years before your oldest goes to college, and what order works best.

I have four kids where the total age span is 9 years, so I have the same dilemmas. Our oldest is 15 today and I am running out of years with him! We have done several big family trips and have even postponed a couple.

For example, I did some early research on a cruise to Alaska for last year (gorgeous! educational!) I was prepared for the high price, but many of the excursions I really wanted to do, my then-DS5 or my petite DD8 wouldn't have been big enough for. So we decided to put it on the back burner for a couple years and did a family cruise to Mexico that was within driving distance (and half the price). I think we had just as much fun and my kids will love to cruise Alaska if we get there.

I have also come to terms with something: My kids can also discover the world as adults. If I have survived until now without my first-ever trip to Hawaii (alone with DH for 20-year anniversary next year), it won't kill my kids to wait until they are adults.

PHXscuba

 

[arthur06]

We have friends that will NOT travel. There kids are 8,4,2 and they want there youngest the be 7/8 when they go somewhere. That means that there oldest will be 13/14.

I never worry about if my kids will remember it. We go places we want to and will enjoy. We will NOT put our life on hold because our kids are small. There are too many uncertainties in life that if something happens to me tomorrow, my kids won't think "one day my dad was gonna take me there" but rather "we went there with my dad"

Any who said to go when/as often as you can, I totally agree with!

 

[rnorwo1]

We're holding off one once-in-a-lifetime trips until our youngest is about 5, but that's not entirely so that she'll remember. It is also so that we can enjoy more of those destinations without the demands and limitations of a toddler or preschooler.

I wouldn't worry too much about your oldest not wanting to vacation with you as a teen.

Before I posted this question, I was researching things in Hawaii that a toddler could do and was starting to sway myself... and then I remembered many of the moments at WDW last month when we were asking ourselves what were we thinking? He can sit still for nothing right now, even restaurants are just not worth it right now. And I do not want to carry him up a volcano, so you're right about the limitations. Hope you're right about the teenager too! I'm trying to shape him now so he'll always love to travel with us, ha ha!

Just remember that 'not the same' doesn't necessarily mean 'better/worse.'

You're absolutely right. I'm sure they'll find something to harass us about the inequities of their childhoods when they're older, regardless of what we do, so I guess I should just get over this!

I am a single custodial parent of a 11 year old daughter. We have been traveling together since the age of 3.

We have been to Japan twice to visit my parents, Paris, Australia and many hot spots in the US. We have gone to Disneyworld 10 times, Tokyo Disney and Paris Disney. My daughter remembers all of our trips. We are inseparable and not only Father and Daughter, we are best friends. My daughter has talked about riding in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon since 4 year old.

No matter what anyone says, travel with your kids if the budget allows it no matter how young they are. They will remember, grow tremendously and being exposed to other cultures is good for all of us. It's GOOD It's All GOOD.....

You are doing the right thing.

Single father for 11 years.

Wow! I would love to be able to travel that much. That's great that she's been such an easy travel partner! I firmly believe that travel enriches our lives and the kids' education so much!

I have also come to terms with something: My kids can also discover the world as adults. If I have survived until now without my first-ever trip to Hawaii (alone with DH for 20-year anniversary next year), it won't kill my kids to wait until they are adults.

PHXscuba

I know... it's so easy to fall into that "we've got to do everything for our kids mentality". I guess that really is what I was feeling guilty about, but I really do believe you're right.

I never worry about if my kids will remember it. We go places we want to and will enjoy. We will NOT put our life on hold because our kids are small. There are too many uncertainties in life that if something happens to me tomorrow, my kids won't think "one day my dad was gonna take me there" but rather "we went there with my dad"

Any who said to go when/as often as you can, I totally agree with!

Good point!!
Thanks for the thoughts everyone, these viewpoints are much different from our friends and family who think we're crazy for what little we've traveled already. That has just never seemed right to me, so glad to hear others don't hesitate to travel with little ones either.

 

[neatokimmo]

DD is 4 and I choose our trips based on her. Not so much what she'll remember, but what she'll enjoy and if she will behave so *I* can enjoy the trip

We do Disney, Gatlinburg and the beach too. NYC and DC were also easy with her (both stroller friendly). Cruises are super easy with a kid as long as you like low key excursions.

We have three big trips that we are waiting on until she is at least 8, maybe even double digits. We want to do Europe, the standard England/Scotland/Ireland/France trip, an Italy trip (which might have a cruise attached to it) and we will go back to China for 2-3 weeks. The reason we are waiting is mostly a mobility issue. It would be nice if I wasn't her pack mule all throughout Europe.

I wouldn't worry so much about the older one remembering more of the nicer trips. If you can travel comfortably with all of them, I say go.

(funny we also have Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Southern CA, Hawaii & Alaska on our travel lists!)

... do you wait until all of your kids are old enough to remember it? Or do you just worry about whether or not they will enjoy it in the present?

We love to travel, but like most have limited budgets. Hopefully that will change one day, but the last few years we have been limiting ourselves to Disney, Gatlinburg, and the beach b/c those are the easiest for our 3 children, who are all 4 plus years apart in age. The oldest is 10 and the youngest just turned 2. I was able to go to Germany last year for work and my DH and oldest son came with me, and that was wonderful, but it killed me to be apart from the two younger ones for 10 days.

Many people have criticized us about taking our kids to WDW so young and my response is always that it's more about them enjoying it now rather than remembering it. But, I also know that we are going to keep returning to WDW. Now, as the kids are getting older I want to look at other places (Williamsburg, Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Southern CA, Hawaii, Alaska, etc.. and of course trips abroad), but most of these places I'm assuming we'll probably only go to once, due to cost and, now that we're closer to 40 than 30, we are just running out of time for going everywhere that we want to go... since we cannot afford to take 5 trips every year!

So, do we just go on and go to places that the youngest will enjoy now but will never remember, or do we wait another 4 years or so, when my oldest may not want to be caught dead in public with us?!

Just curious as to how all of you balanced these things out! Thanks for your thoughts!

 

[Kat&Dom]

Another vote for travel as you can afford it. My son is 5 and we live in Canada. He started his travel career at 2 months old - he got his first passport at 3 weeks old.

He has been to Dominican Republic (2 times), Mexico, Hawaii, Disneyland (2 times), Disneyworld (4 times) and has done numerous road trips in Canada and into Washington and Idaho. My first time flying was on my 22nd birthday so he is way ahead of me in the travel department but I love to travel so we do it. He is an excellent traveller whether it be by car or plane so I am very fortunate.

I hope to take him to Europe sometime between age 8 and 10 with a side trip to Disneyland Paris. I would really love to do a Disney cruise that hits Northern Europe - it has all the places that I would love to see but would probably never travel to unless it was on a cruise. A Disney cruise would also offer the entertainment for his age group while the ports would offer culture. I think that travel is very important and is a priority to me.

Now that he is 5, we can enjoy expanding our horizons. We did Hawaii when he was 4 and he loved snorkelling with the giant sea turtles. He also tried surfing (even at a young age, he is very much a "jock"). I am really looking forward to the new places that we can see since he is getting older and more aware of the world.

 

[robsmom]

I vote with the go and enjoy crowd. I worry less about whether my son will remember a trip than if the trip will work for us. I look at the logistics of flights, activities, etc to see if it would be reasonably age appropriate. In your case, I would suggest remembering that you will likely travel with your youngest after the oldest one is gone from the house. While the youngest might not remember a trip this year, he will remember one in 15 years. It all balances out in the end.

 

[JaymeC]

We had a bit of an odd situation, but we lived overseas in Okinawa for 3 years during the time my kids were 9 months and 2yo til they were 4 and 5 1/2.

Many people asked me if I was sad they wouldn't remember that time... and yes a part of me is but we still went to go see everything we could! They may not remember it, but *I* still remember it and it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for dh and I. The children may see pictures of themselves there at a later time and decide that it's worth returning to, who knows? Or they may make their own paths in life and go places that I've never been.

Our priority on vacations has always been to enjoy what we can and to make it work for everyone. So if we wanted to say go to the museum in Hiroshima we took the children to the children's museum all morning to let them run and wear themselves out and then put them in carriers to go into the adult museum where they usually fell asleep. Though there's an amazing amount of stuff you can do with an easy going toddler along as well

 

[MinnieForMe]

We travel now even though our kids are 5, 10 and 13. Seriously, the 13 year old has learned so much patience from having to travel with a younger sibling. I especially see it when we include his friends on trips with us. They are not use to moving slower to accommodate a younger child or having to wait to do what they want so that the younger child also gets the opportunity to enjoy something. Not to mention, my daughter also learned that the world doesn't revolve around her either and she has had to sit out experiences because she is too young or too short.

With that said, I'm hoping to make it to Hawaii in the next few years but it's not age holding us back but 10k in plane tickets! LOL.

 

[Coll0610]

Could the youngest stay with Grandma and Grandpa if you wanted to do one of the bigger trips now? The youngest will probably wind up going on trips without the older two when they start working or going to college and can't get away, so it will probably even out in the end. And the baby may enjoy having Grandma and Grandpa to himself for a change! Friends who have children spread out in age have done this and the younger kids didn't really mind. I know it's hard to be apart from the ones that didn't come, but it's nice to have time with older ones without having to worry about the baby having fun too.

I'm the oldest and have three sisters who are close to me in age and then one sister who is 13 years younger and one who is 17 years younger. Basically our last "family vacation" was before the two youngest were born. Some of that was money but it was also not wanting to travel with the babies. Looking back now, I wish we had been able to take at least one trip when I was a teenager.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't have a standard answer for why we choose the WHEN of our vacations.

Some things we do every year; for example, we always get a lake or mountain cabin at Thanksgiving. We have a couple other gotta-do-every-years: We go to the beach a couple times a year, we go to the mountains at least once a year. Those are things that aren't really age-specific. When the kids were little we chose small-kid activities like easy hikes or putt-putt. Now that they're older we might choose water parks or more challenging hikes. Those are grow-with-the-kids vacations.

A whole bunch of things we've done because of budget. For example, we went to New Orleans (a place we'd always wanted to visit) a couple years ago because we found SUPER-CHEAP airfare. That decision had nothing to do with the kids' ages, and it's not a place we care ever to visit again.

But other things we have chosen for specific kid-age reasons. When our kids were very young we started talking about taking them on a cross-country driving trip. We chose the dates about three years in advance because 1) we had to save for it, and 2) we wanted the kids to be teens so that they could endure long drives and so they'd remember it. Also, we took the girls on a big-deal cruise last summer -- it was great because they were old enough to have some independence during the daytime; whereas, when they were younger, we kept them with us all the time onboard, so we only did short trips.

So, in conclusion . . . we don't have a "rule" for how we choose. Different trips, different budgets, different time spans, different circumstances call for a wide variety of answers.