If this was your child, how would you react?

[Aidensmom]

I am still shaken by somthing that happened to me earlier today, which was a result of an action that is quite normal for me.....I really am looking for opinions on if what I think is normal is not.

We were at a theme park (not Disney), and we discovered my son had left his hat on the ride we had just gotten off of. We went back towards the exit gate, but couldn't get through it, but my husband noticed that the ride operators did have the hat sitting on the water cooler next to them. We walked over to the entrance of the ride, and as it is a very wide queue, we walked up the side so we could tell the operator's the hat was ours. It was a clear path up to where the turnstile was, but at that point very crowded, so we decided my husband would proceed and my son and I would meet him outside.

My son and I turned back, and on our way out a child that was maybe 6 years old was in the path. I put my hand gently on his shoulder to get his attention, said 'Excuse me, hon', he took a step forward, and we passed. Suddenly some man is yelling at me not to push a child. I replied that I did not push him, I was just getting his attention. Then I'm being yelled at that I have no right to "lay your hands on someone else's child". I think I was in shock over that, because I admit my reply was not that appropriate, I told him "My God, shut up." At that point his wife or girlfriend threatened to kick my *butt* for talking that way to her man. I just told my son to move on and we kept walking. My husband came around the corner at that time and asked what was wrong, and they became quiet, but I really still am shaken by the whole thing.

Would you get upset if someone in line tapped your kid on the shoulder to get their attention? I have had that happen, and my natural reaction is to tell my kid to move and let people through. But if people really think that what I did is assaulting their child or whatever, I really would rather know before someone really does try to beat me up.

 

[lucyanna girl]

It sounds to me as if you had the misfortune to run into some really rude and aggressive people.

If it had been my child in the way I would have apologized for their being in the way and told them to move.

I'm glad their aggression stopped with words. People get scarier all the time.



Penny

 

[Cass]

I'm sorry that happened to you.

Maybe from their angle it looked like you pushed the kid, even though you were just getting his attention to step aside. In any case they sound like nutballs.

 

[poohandwendy]

OMG, those people were waaaaay out of line, waaay rude, waaay aggressive, verytrashy.

I would have probably rolled my eyes and gave them a big 'whatthehellever'.

Sorry you ran into such jerks!

NO, I would not be upset if someone tapped my kid on the shoulder and asked them to move.

 

[Aidensmom]

Thank you for your replies, because I keep questioning myself. My husband keeps telling me to let it go, but I have to admit it is hard, I've never had someone confront me like that.

 

[lulugirl]

Mom & Dad are nutjobs, you did nothing wrong.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

What you did would not have bothered me at all. Those people sound crazy.

 

[TwinsinCA]

Did you put your hand on his shoulder or did you tap him? You mentioned both so I am unclear. I don't see tapping as a big deal. But I would not be wild about someone putting their hand on my kid's shoulder. Would I flip out? No. The guy was way out of line. But to be perfectly honest, I'd much prefer a loud enough "excuse me" rather than any physical contact. I wouldn't want a stranger putting their hand on MY shoulder either. But I have a big "personal bubble". I realize not everybody does.

 

[RLccweems]

OMG!!! You did nothing wrong...that couple were just out of line. Sorry you had to deal with sure rude people.

 

[Aidensmom]

Did you put your hand on his shoulder or did you tap him? You mentioned both so I am unclear. I don't see tapping as a big deal. But I would not be wild about someone putting their hand on my kid's shoulder. Would I flip out? No. The guy was way out of line. But to be perfectly honest, I'd much prefer a loud enough "excuse me" rather than any physical contact. I wouldn't want a stranger putting their hand on MY shoulder either. But I have a big "personal bubble". I realize not everybody does.

I put my fingertips on his shoulder. I would have done the same to an adult who didn't realize I was there. I don't know, I guess to me I see that as less intrusive then actually tapping, but I know not all may feel that way.

 

[DisMN]

I put my fingertips on his shoulder. I would have done the same to an adult who didn't realize I was there. I don't know, I guess to me I see that as less intrusive then actually tapping, but I know not all may feel that way.

What you did is a common mechanism to get someone to notice you.....instead of loudly calling him out and having him spin fast and maybe bump into others. It wasn't cause for anyone to get all huffy about, in fact I think it was polite not to want to "surprise" him with your close proximity.

I'm betting those are the same people who thought I was a weirdo for actually having the nerve to talk to their children to ask if they were having a fun vacation. If looks could kill....man oh man both kids and the parents didn't want ANY stranger contact whatsoever. Yeesh.

The world is chock full of fruitcakes.........too bad you had to run into some. LOL

 

[MAKmom]

You can not touch anyone's child. I coach & it is normal to want to tap a shoulder to get attention or want to show them where to move to by guiding them. But I have to stop myself.

DD11 this past Basketball season was surprised an assistant coach would take her by the arms to move her to where he wanted her. I knew it was innocent, he wasn't thinking but she never had it happen before.

 

[DisneyMomOK]

Could this person have been from a different region of the country, perhaps, where actions are perceived in a more threatening manner because of their environment? OP, you did nothing wrong, but the parents were definitely misreading your very innocuous touch.

 

[Briarmom]

OMG, those people were waaaaay out of line, waaay rude, waaay aggressive, verytrashy.

I would have probably rolled my eyes and gave them a big 'whatthehellever'.

Sorry you ran into such jerks!

NO, I would not be upset if someone tapped my kid on the shoulder and asked them to move.

Mom & Dad are nutjobs, you did nothing wrong.

Agreed. Poor kid has Mr and Mrs Nasty McTrashypants for parents.

 

[denisem]

You can not touch anyone's child. I coach & it is normal to want to tap a shoulder to get attention or want to show them where to move to by guiding them. But I have to stop myself.

DD11 this past Basketball season was surprised an assistant coach would take her by the arms to move her to where he wanted her. I knew it was innocent, he wasn't thinking but she never had it happen before.

Not directed toward you, MAKmom, but has PC'edness (?) progressed that far??

I'm glad the parents of a toddler I grabbed before he took a header off the steps at a restaurant last night didn't feel that way. (BTW, I'm not a parent, just reacted instinctively if ANYONE were to lose their balance. The mom was grateful & almost apologetic, but I grinned/shrugged it off with "Wow, those little ones can move fast, can't they?")

I'm older than dirt, but continually amazed at how a simple touch on the shoulder can be misconstrued nowadays...

 

[crazee4mickey]

I would not be upset if someone did what you did.

You just had the misfortune of running into some lunatics!

They sound like a really well adjusted, well rounded family....

 

[Cool-Beans]

I honestly don't like to be touched by strangers or have them touching my kids or any kids I'm with. But, I'm sure it happened and I just don't remember it because it wouldn't actually upset me. I realize that there are nice people who do that because they are touchy-feely kind of nice people and wouldn't be at all offended. We all have different areas of "personal space."

I think those people were just skanky people looking for a fight. I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that they were stupid people, too. I'd have walked away as soon as the dad started his crap. Just not worth the time or effort to bother myself with.

 

[kejoda]

Not directed toward you, MAKmom, but has PC'edness (?) progressed that far??

I'm glad the parents of a toddler I grabbed before he took a header off the steps at a restaurant last night didn't feel that way. (BTW, I'm not a parent, just reacted instinctively if ANYONE were to lose their balance. The mom was grateful & almost apologetic, but I grinned/shrugged it off with "Wow, those little ones can move fast, can't they?")

I'm older than dirt, but continually amazed at how a simple touch on the shoulder can be misconstrued nowadays...

I once got yelled at by some nutjob when I caught her kid when he fell off the slide that he was trying to walk down.

Aidensmom you did nothing wrong. Other than running into a couple of nuts that is.

 

[yasmina]

It is scary in this day and age that a simple act can be so misconstrued.

When I venture into the hallways between classes at our middle school, I always hold my hands up bent at the elbows. I don't want some kid going home and telling their parent that I gave them an inappropriate touch below waist level just because my hands were down and may have brushed that part of their body unintentionally in the horde of kids.

 

[MushyMushy]

It sounds like you were just being nice and gave the boy a gentle touch to get his attention. But now you know that people can be fiercely protective of their personal space! They sounded like they would look for any reason to cause a fight, though, so I wouldn't worry one second more about it.

It is scary in this day and age that a simple act can be so misconstrued.

When I venture into the hallways between classes at our middle school, I always hold my hands up bent at the elbows. I don't want some kid going home and telling their parent that I gave them an inappropriate touch below waist level just because my hands were down and may have brushed that part of their body unintentionally in the horde of kids.

Oh gawd yes. So many times the middle school kids want to be touchy feely with you, but it's hands off with them! I've made it into a joke in my classrooms, and it makes the kids laugh, but at the same time they get the point. I swing my arms out in front of me and to the sides and mock yell, "AHHHH! Personal space! Personal space!" Everybody laughs, but they back off and speak to me from a proper distance. Some of them want to be all up in your grill, don't they?