If money and health was no issue, what would be the maximum age you would be willing to have kids?

[Buzz Rules]

If money and your health was no issue, what would be the maximum age you would be willing to have kids?

 

[luvnwdwgal]

30. I was 20 when I had our son, 40 years ago, and at the time I really wasn’t ready but as I got older I appreciated having him so young. I was only 38 when he graduated and it felt good. I like being a young-ish grandma too.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

30. I was 20 when I had our son, 40 years ago, and at the time I really wasn’t ready but as I got older I appreciated having him so young. I was only 38 when he graduated and it felt good. I like being a young-ish grandma too.

I was going to say the same thing. I had DS at 24. He's spent many years collecting college degrees & is still single. If he ever has kids, I want to be young enough to enjoy them.

 

[DizneyFamof4]

30-35 We wanted to do some traveling before kids and then my DW needed to finish her Psychology Doctorate. So we didn't get to start until the late 30's and then we had a miscarriage that put us back. So our 1st DD I was 43 and my DW was 40. We had our 2nd DD 5 years later. As I look back, I am sure glad we did not have kids in our 20's, because I did not have the patience as I did later on.

 

[barkley]

from personal experience-it would be dependent on how old my hypothetical parents were when they had me.

if you are born to older parents (in my real life case-mom approaching 40, dad in his 50's), even if you have your children in your early 20's you may be dealing with parenting both your children and at least one of your parents at the same time. no amount of health or money on your own part can be of assistance with the struggles.

 

[luvsvacation]

30-35 We wanted to do some traveling before kids and then my DW needed to finish her Psychology Doctorate. So we didn't get to start until the late 30's and then we had a miscarriage that put us back. So our 1st DD I was 43 and my DW was 40. We had our 2nd DD 5 years later. As I look back, I am sure glad we did not have kids in our 20's, because I did not have the patience as I did later on.

DH and I are 48 & 45 now and our kids are 19 & almost 21 and both in college. We are loving our decision to have them in our 20s! I’m doing all my traveling now and it’s great because I can do it with my adult children. DD and I are planning a trip through Europe next year for her college graduation!

I would say latest for me would be 30. I loved being a young mom, I never worried about anything! I also had so much energy!! I’m a nanny so I’m still basically living the stay at home mom life (just in someone else’s home and getting paid, and I get to go home at the end of the day!) and I can tell you I have much less energy for running around kid stuff than I did 20 years ago!

 

[disykat]

Maximum for me is 40. DH had a vasectomy when I hit 40 so there would be no oopsies. However, my ideal age was younger. I had a friend whose mom was over 40 when she was born and she was ADAMANT about not having kids later so I think that influenced me. I've certainly known people who had kids over 40 that were great parents and enjoyed their kids.

Barkley also has a good point. My parents were in their early 30's when they had me, and I was in my early 30's when I had my kids. By the time my kids were out of college I was full on parenting my parents, managing their money, helping them make decisions, etc. Fortunately, I didn't have to quit my job to actual care give until the year my younger son graduated from college because we really needed that money to help him through. It would have been REALLY difficult if they'd had me later and I'd had kids later because I would have really been sandwiched! There's something to be said about having young grandparents! Now, knowing I had two parents with dementia possibly making me high risk and now my kids are also having kids in their 30's.... It's scary. I'd like to see my grandchildren get married, but that wasn't possible for my parents because they were no longer able to travel or already deceased.

In my perfect world, I would have preferred to have my kids between 27 and 32ish, but I didn't marry DH until I was 29. We settled for trying to get them in before age 35. (It took us a while so we only have two instead of the 3 or 4 I would have wanted as an "ideal.") That said, if we hadn't met until I was 35 I still would have wanted to have at least one child.

The movie stars who are having them later can do it without issues because they have the financial means to get help with anything they need help with. They have the money to travel without "waiting until the kids are through college." They have help with their aging family members. They won't feel a financial crunch because retirement comes so close to or even while helping kids through college. Those of us in a different demographic have more need to spread things out, money helps you have it all at once.

 

[tvguy]

My mom was 34 and my dad 47 when I was born. They tried for 7 years before I was born. Dad passed away 9 years after I was born. So wish I had more time with him.
My wife and I were 29 and and 33 when our kids which in hindsight seemed perfect for us. It gave us 5 years to travel before we settled down, and we were still young enough when our kids were out of the house to enjoy ourselves.
The trend I find interesting among some of my friends is for a man to marry a woman who is about 12 years younger. They don't start a family until the man is 50, and the man had a career that allowed him to retire then. The wife continues working and dad is a stay at home dad.

 

[Magical2017]

I would not change a thing, but I had kids when I was older. YDS at 40 and ODS at 37. 40 was my max. I did not want kids earlier in life. Two was the perfect number for us.

 

[Colleen27]

I decided early on that I was done with babies at 30, no matter what. And my youngest came along, after delays due to both money and health, when I was 29. I'm just as sure now as I was way back when I had my oldest that I wouldn't want to be dealing with babies at 30+. I enjoy the freedom I have now, without little kids and at a time in life where I have the money to do fun things and am still young enough to want to, and all-nighters or badly interrupted sleep are much harder for me to roll with now than 20-odd years ago.

And @barkley has a very good point about caregiving for our own parents. I don't know how I'd have managed the last two years of my mother's life, to say nothing of dealing with her death, if I was also dealing with young children. My oldest, in particular, was an absolute godsend, not to mention the only person who could get through to my mother when she was being stubborn about some aspect of her care. My mom was in her mid-30s when she had kids, and if I'd waited as long, I'd have been trying to juggle elementary schoolers while also acting as her caregiver, grocery delivery, medical transport, etc. And as that was my reality growing up - my grandparents were also in their 30s when they had my mom, and started having serious medical issues when I was 7 or 8 - it was one of the reasons I wanted to have my own kids younger. Not necessarily as young as I had my first, but not in my 30s either.

 

[TippyThomas]

I'm well past that age for sure.

 

[bluezy]

I was just shy of 41 when our youngest child was born...and 22 when I had our first child. I had a lot more energy when my 2 oldest children were infants and toddlers, but needed to work full time at that point in my life. I then had 3 more children when I was between 34-41. I no longer had to work outside the home, so I had far more time to focus on the kids and also more wisdom and patience. I have no regrets for how things worked out but I'm glad we decided not to have a 6th child because while I had the energy back then to deal with a newborn and toddler, dealing with a teenager in my mid to late 50's is not as easy. In a perfect world, I would have waited until a little later in my 20's to start having kids and had all 5 of them within about 10-12 years. My plan was to have my children when I was young so that I would still be young when they were grown and off on their own. But life got in the way...and now I can't imagine things any other way than how they turned out. I really like having the large range in ages of our kids.

 

[ronandannette]

I can’t answer this really; I’ve got one child who was born when I was 30 and that’s all I wanted. No circumstances stopped me from having more. And I have seen both younger and older, poorer and richer, parents both flounder and flourish. I’m not sure I believe those things are major factors - it’s more about whether you actively desire to parent children.

 

[JLTraveling]

I don't want to have kids, never did. I love them, I'm helping raise a couple of fantastic cousins, but I just don't want to be a parent. But if I did, I would have wanted to have them young. My dad was 23 and my mom was 21 when I was born (and Mom was the oldest first-time mother the nurse at the Navy hospital had ever seen!). I loved having young parents with tons of energy, and I would have wanted the same for my own kids.

 

[dez1978]

When I was younger I said absolutely no kids after 30. My mom was 35 and my dad was 40 when I was born in 78, and that was kind of old to have kids. They were the same age as my friends grandparents lol. I remember that embarassing me as a dumb kid. But they both died at 54, so I was 14 &19. I was not going to do that to my kids (yes I know that it doesn't mean I will die young).
But in my 20's DH and I just weren't ready. I ended up having them at 32 and 35. I had my tubes tied when my youngest was born because my pregnancies were not fun and I was old enough!

 

[loves to dive]

I've been done having kids for many years now. I had my son when I was 23, which coincidently was the same age my Mama was when she had me. I'm the last of 6. I decided early on 30 was my top age and I stuck to it. I wanted to have my tubes tied when I was around 25 and my Doc. refused. I already had my son and was a single parent and knew at that time I didn't want any more. When I hit 30, I said no excuse now tie them, even though I was still single. I grew up with young parents and I watched them enjoy life as we got older and they had time to do what they wanted to do and were still young. My son, just had his one and only when he was 41. Kind of makes me sad because I'm 65 now and I know my grand daughter will only have memories of an older grand mom, as opposed to my son who knew his grand mom when she was in her 40s and 50s and has some great memories of travelling around with her.

 

[nw6675]

We tried for 14 years before we finally had DD. I was 36, DH 45. No number can be placed on it.

 

[mrodgers]

I view my brother in horror as he's 47 and has a 6 year old and a 1 year old. I'm 50, I couldn't imagine having kids right now. My youngest is only 2nd semester in college.

I was 31 with the youngest. I would not have wanted to be any older than that.

Being a high school kid having a kid would be horrible at the time as well. However, I was mildly jealous of my coworker still in his 30's with his youngest boy graduating and mine was just starting kindergarten.

 

[PezRuth]

I had mine at 34 and 39. The 39 was not the original plan. I had a still born daughter between the two. I was able to travel and do a lot before I got married and had kids which was great. But man I am tired at 45 with a 6 year old. But is what it is. also having a baby at an older age is even harder on the body.

 

[mrs. magoo]

I loved having my kids in my mid to late 20's. I had my 4th when I was 30. The only thing I will say is that I would have had a 5th but my husband was not down for anymore kids. I am very happy with the size of my family. I am pretty sure my own children are going to be older if they have children at all.