If I was anyone else I'd slap me silly...

[Luv2Scrap]

Actually, he sounds like an awful dad. An awful husband. An awful person.



You seem like you are a smart and ambitious woman. Time to get your life back, honey



Oh, it seems like you are doing your child a favor

I was hoping I wasn't the only one thinking this!

This is no kind of role model for your son! The longer you wait to leave, the less chance you have of actually making it happen.

Your son is the same age my son was when I left. Of all the crap I put up with, the one thing that really told me it was time to leave was when I realized just how much my ex was already starting to influence my son's behavior. My ex is a "good dad" from a distance, but on a daily basis, he just wasn't a good influence during those critical years when my son's personality was being shaped for the future.

My son is 13 now, and while we've had some rough patches, he's adjusted wonderfully. He goes across the country a few times a year to visit his dad and he talks to him almost nightly, and he also has a stepdad here that he gets along with very well.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Omg, lots of good advice on here. I didn't read all the way through, but I think you should talk to some of the other nurses and ask them how they handle child care at night. You may be able to find out something there.

Good luck with everything.

Personally before you just up and move out, I would start changing things. For instance stop doing his school work and homework. Stop doing all the chores. If he can't help he can cook his own food, wash his dishes and clothes. He might start to change when he realizes you are serious about things. However, get the rest of your ducks in a row too.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Another thing I'd find out about is are you responsible for his student loans in anyway.

 

[MomRN]

What does this mean? Stuff your DH does to your son? Bad stuff your DH does? What? I'm confused.

He has made bad decisions in the past. So have I, so I can't really judge him on those or call him out. However, I know me and know the mistakes I've made in the past are just that... mistakes from the past. If given the chance to party it up like he- we- used to again... I don't think he'd give it a 2nd thought, even if that meant having any Tom, Dick, or Harry watch my child so he could go do it. While he doesn't do it now, I could very well see him leaving my son with a 10 yr old to babysit, or smoking pot in the next room while caring for him... those type of things. If he moved out it would most certainly be with someone else... one of his friends, who aren't up for world's greatest citizen either.

This is the major reason I feel stuck. He knows now I could be home anytime (sometimes I go home early on call). We know the same people and things go through the grapevine.

I know it sounds weird, but I just know this. But, at the same time I can't keep them apart. It's more than a control issue, it's a gut feeling.