I witnessed something very disturbing today (long)

[Luv'sTink]

I was not there and I can not comment on what happened because the OP could be under or over stating what happened, it all depends on her prospective. As she stated herself she did not see anything physical and if she had called the police they would have told her she did not witness anything without actually seeing it happen. He did not grab her by the neck but by the coat, she didn't even see what the police would call abuse there.

However, DS would always say no and start to cry when I was taking him off to the the restroom for a talk in a restaurant and no he was not being spanked in there just a stern talking to.

ETA; This thread will be locked quickly!

 

[MELSMICE]

I fully agree with you. When my children disobey repeatedly and we also spank them.

But what was to disobey here? She is 2 1/2. I'm also sure when dad dragged her across the floor by her coat it hurt her neck, which made her cry more.

He's telling her not to cry, yet he's using physical force.

I think it's wonderful that your children are so well behaved. Mine are also & I don't believe in spanking. They've had their moments, don't get me wrong, but I prefer not to hit. It's just what works better for us.

 

[KAMLEM]

I am shocked by some of the responses here. The poor kid was 2 1/2 and she was whimpering. That deserved a beating?? Unbelievable.

OP-you probably did the right thing. The father sounds like a jerk, who knows what he may have done to you.

 

[lustergirl]

I believe the child should of been disciplined, not necessarily dragging her across the floor- ouch!! I have spanked my 2 sons plenty of times when they were growing up. They got the belt though across their hineys!! Shame on the mother for not speaking up, but who knows? Maybe she is abused as well.

 

[DMickey28]

I think this situation is WRONG. On many levels and I worry what kind of life that little girl has infront of her.

I do not disagree or agree with spanking. I was spanked maybe ONCE in my life. I am not against it but I can't say I will use it. It would have to be a VERY VERY VERY good reason. I can't remember what I did but you bet I never did again!

I do not disagree with a small small tap on the hand when a child is doing something they shouldn't, but not a HIT.

There is something going on in recent history which is causing the abundance of self rightous children and adults. There is something to cause these kids to be acting out more than they did years ago. Either soft parenting, too many parents wanting to be friends not parents or too much "time out seats" that don't work with all kids or just too many parents with out enough time. Something ... no one is perfect but all our kids deserve to have our parenting best, which does not happen as much as it should.

 

[disykat]

Personally, I find the spanking the least upsetting part of the story. I find the unrealistic expectations, the jerking, the yanking, etc. much more problematic.

 

[RitaZ.]

He finally grabs her by the back of her coat at the neck, drags her across the floor & says, "I told you to stop your crying, knock if off right now".

You know, 3 swats on the behind wouldn't be so terrible. Why handle her in such a rough manner? His reaction was disproportionate to her behavior. The little girl is 2 yrs. old. Come on!

It's important for fathers to have a healthy and respectful relationship with their daughters. Dad is the first male role model in their lives and the one that will teach them how women should be treated. What a jerk!

What the heck was wrong with the mom? What did she do while all this was going on?

 

[Mermaid02]

Sounds like the guy has some issues.... but people... this was not a "beating". She got a "spanking", there's a big difference between the two.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I believe the child should of been disciplined, not necessarily dragging her across the floor- ouch!! I have spanked my 2 sons plenty of times when they were growing up. They got the belt though across their hineys!! Shame on the mother for not speaking up, but who knows? Maybe she is abused as well.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

I don't go aroud spanking my kids all of the time or anyting. Actually they rarely are ever spanked but if they are VERY bad we do. Sometimes weeks or months will go by. Usually a stern talking to works wonders.

 

[Luv'sTink]

WHAT?
So if a children are hit more often the world would be a better place?
Just because you "spare the rod" doesn't mean you "spoil the child"
THere are much better & more intelligent ways to discipline a two year old than hitting!
My kids do not need to be hit by a teacher or principal because they do not get hit at home & understand there are consequences to their actions that don't inlude adults becoming out of control!
All of the Old Scool mindset people out there, let me tell you I guarentee that if you took a survey at a prision & asked how many of the inmates were beaten as kids compared to the same survey at an Ivy League college, you would find the prisioners were beaten MUCH more!

I, as well as my 7, yes SEVEN siblings were spanked as children we are all fine upstanding citizens with jobs and homes and everything, can you imagine? Except one, and he started on the wrong road in his thirties not teens, go figure!

 

[connorlevismom]

I am shocked by some of the responses here. The poor kid was 2 1/2 and she was whimpering. That deserved a beating?? Unbelievable.
.

Exactly! A 2 1/2 year old is not a mini adult. They don't process things the way an adult does. I cannot believe that people think that what this guy did is OK. Poor little thing. There are better ways to teach a child to behave than hit and embarrass them.

Kristine

 

[Camicar]

His reaction was disproportionate to her behavior. The little girl is 2 yrs. old.

That it is what disturbs me as well. Correction is best when it is appropriate to the misbehavior, the situation, and the age. This reaction hardly seems appropriate by any criteria I would apply to this situation.

Frankly, a whimpering/pouting 2.5 year old should just be ignored.

And my guess is that the wife was raised by a father just like the man she married.

 

[Chattyaholic]

WHAT?
So if a children are hit more often the world would be a better place?
Just because you "spare the rod" doesn't mean you "spoil the child"
THere are much better & more intelligent ways to discipline a two year old than hitting!
My kids do not need to be hit by a teacher or principal because they do not get hit at home & understand there are consequences to their actions that don't inlude adults becoming out of control!
All of the Old Scool mindset people out there, let me tell you I guarentee that if you took a survey at a prision & asked how many of the inmates were beaten as kids compared to the same survey at an Ivy League college, you would find the prisioners were beaten MUCH more!

Maybe you don't believe it but I do believe that if you "spare the rod" you do "spoil the child", as I am a believer in God and the Bible and that's where those words come from.

Beating is not the same as spanking, not even close.

I think if you took a survey of the inmates in prison you would find most of them are uneducated and that might be one of the main reasons (not that they were spanked while growing up) why they turned to a life of crime. Ivy League college students probably aren't going to wind up in prison. Most of the time anyway.

 

[Daxx]

I would've mentioned something to the Dr.! He knows the patients and their backgrounds, etc. and he should've been informed. At that point, he can ask a nurse to watch the parent the next time he comes in and can see if this is repeated behavior and if it might constitute abuse.

It's not too late to contact the Dr.'s office and report what you saw to the Dr. who was there at the time.

 

[connorlevismom]

I, as well as my 7, yes SEVEN siblings were spanked as children we are all fine upstanding citizens with jobs and homes and everything, can you imagine? Except one, and he started on the wrong road in his thirties not teens, go figure!

I am one of seven as well. We ALL got spanked enough that I think we were abused. My mom used to make us take our pants down, lay over her leg, and spank us with a piece of wood. And god forbid we try and defend ourselves by putting our hands back there, that would just set her off even more. If we did that, she would hit even harder! She even broke a hairbrush over my sisters mouth once. All this taught me was to fear and hate my mother. Great lesson she taught us!

ETA: When confronted about this my mother still says she did not beat us, she merely spanked us for misbehaving. So for those who think that beating is not the same as spanking, it depends on how the parent see's their actions. Most parents who spank are not going to say they beat their kids. But that might not always be the case.

Kristine

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I am one of seven as well. We ALL got spanked enough that I think we were abused. My mom used to make us take our pants down, lay over her leg, and spank us with a piece of wood. And god forbid we try and defend ourselves by putting our hands back there, that would just set her off even more. If we did that, she would hit even harder! She even broke a hairbrush over my sisters mouth once. All this taught me was to fear and hate my mother. Great lesson she taught us!

ETA: When confronted about this my mother still says she did not beat us, she merely spanked us for misbehaving. So for those who think that beating is not the same as spanking, it depends on how the parent see's their actions. Most parents who spank are not going to say they beat their kids. But that might not always be the case.

Kristine

WOW. you mom sounds like someone in my life. The effect that she had on her child is tremendous. Issues are being dealt with long into adulthood.

 

[wendy46001]

WOW
i'm amazed at the people trying to justify someone dragging a child across a room (doesn’t matter by clothing or body part) and then beating (yes beating) them loud enough to hear through a closed door...

its a two year old...they should of had something for her to do while sitting in a waiting room...I dont know a single toddler that will sit the duration of a doctors appointment and not whine a little

 

[dimimi]

How about talking about the obvious. Why wasn't the 2 year old given something to do. Did the family really expect the 2 year old to just sit there? How about talking with the child, reading a book to her, coloring, etc.?

 

[connorlevismom]

WOW. you mom sounds like someone in my life. The effect that she had on her child is tremendous. Issues are being dealt with long into adulthood.

Yeah, tell me about it. ALL of us have issues because of her actions.

Kristine