I told them, it was VERY clear. Now what?

[nliedel]

My in-laws took my older two for haircuts over night last night. They have been doing that since they were babies and the boys looked forwrd to it.

Well my eight year old just came home with, heaven help me, a Mohawk. I mean he looks like my ancestors, shaved head on the sides, MOHAWK! Apart from the fact he looks like a dweeb that way they are NOT allowed at his school. NOT AT ALL! Spring break does not start till Friday. Now what?

I love my in-laws with all my heart, I would do ANYTHING for them but I told them, "No Mohawks." They 100% knew I was against it, because he has been bugging us for one for weeks. I would say the boy hoodwinked them but again, they knew what he was up to cause I warned them with my husband listening.

He, (husband) will not say a word to them but now I am stuck here. What am I suposed to do?

 

[Toby'sFriend]

go to Wal Mart, buy a pair of clippers - and shave. We usually use the #4 or #5 and I trim the bangs with a pair of scissors.

Hey, how are the little guy's ears doing?

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I'd blow it off. You can't undo it, so what is the point of raising a fuss now? His hair will grow back. There'll be great pictures. And long after his Grandparents are dead your son will remember how they let him a get a mohawk when mom wouldn't (which is probably why they did it).

 

[nliedel]

Toby's Friend:
Herne has an appointment this week with the doc. He is going into pre-school for hearing impaired (big wah there) this summer. Thank you for asking.

Mouseworshipin: I would be happy to let it go but he cannot attend school with a Mohawk. It's very clear in the dress code. Letting it go is not an option here.

I did not say "no" (I was not alone in this. My husband agreed) to be mean to my son, I did it because there are expectations at his school.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Maybe you could shave the mohawk part off?

I doubt fighting with the in-laws will help.

Sorry, wish I could be more help.

 

[BillSears]

I'd take a picture for future blackmail. Then I'd shave it off. If he had gotten the haircut and I hadn't already told him no then he would have been able to keep it for the weekend and I'd shave it the night before he went back to school.

 

[Cindy B]

Well.. if it was him who decided the haircut, let him deal with the consequences.

Take him to school and let him get in trouble with the dress code. Tell him after he gets talked to by the school, "Well you decided to get that haircut."

It was his choice, so let him go to school and take the punishment.

He did the crime, he can do the time!

 

[nliedel]

I didn't mean to make it sound like I want to fight with Mom and Dad. Am I upset at them? Well yes, I feel like I should be but I am not going to go yell at them either. Pick your battles, this is just hair.

Cindy B you are inspired! I will haul him to school on Monday, take him to his teacher and be there with him. It's not tossing him to the wolves because I will be there and it will teach him the consequences of his actions. I can then calmly ask him what he thinks he should do about it. He has a big birthday party coming up and if he's not in school this week to hand out invitations... hehe.

Oh and the blackmail pictures have been taken. He has no idea this has me worried at all. He is so proud of the ugly thing he is ready to bust. It's going to be a cold Monday.

 

[Cindy B]

I have a sneaky son too... so I've seen a lot. It sounds like your son knew it was not allowed or against dress code, so he "took a chance" and got his prefrerred haircut.

So by taking him to school (and not cutting/trimming/hiding the hair) he will see a consequence.

If you go into school with him and explain or email to the teacher beforehand, that way she/he has time to figure out an appropriate discipline.

 

[ADisneygirl]

I may be in the minority here, but I don't like the fact that you specifically told the in-laws not to get that type of haircut and they defied you. You had good reasons for not wanting that haircut since it is against school policy, but even if your only reason was because you didn't want it, that should have been enough.

I guess I just feel it is very disrespectful to you as a parent and authority figure to have your wishes ignored so blatently. I know it's only hair, and it will grow back, but still. If it were me, I'd buzz it off with the barber clipper and tell the in-laws next time thanks, but no thanks when they ask to take the kids for their haircuts again.

 

[Keli]

Whatever happens with the school and whatever punishment he receives for breaking the dress code should be told to the Grandparents. I've got a feeling they won't give in to your ds quite so quickly next time when they realize they were allowing him to do something that's going to actually get him in trouble at school. I have a feeling they thought you were just making up the story about the school dress code, otherwise why would they have let him get that haircut?

 

[diznygirl]

I agree with the other disney girl Gram and Gramp need to be told that what they did was a big no-no. I wonder how bad they will feel after what they did gets him into trouble at school.

I agree that they did a "cool" thing by giving in to his desire for a mohawk, but one more week and he could have had one over spring break. Or maybe wait until summer. Then it wouldn't be a prob.

 

[tmt martins]

A mohawk is only a real mohawk if it's over 4 inches high .Other then that it's just a bad hightop

 

[nliedel]

They knew, my husband verified it with them when he picked the kid up. This is not the first time they have done this (they took Steven for his first haircut when he was a baby after I asked them not to). I can be mad or I can get along with my in-laws who are mostly pretty decent. I tell them no guns, not even pretend, they get guns. Bows and Arrows, real ones? Yep got them too. Normally we just quietly get rid of the toys we don't want them to have but it's getting harder now that they are older.

I recently told them 100% no NC-17 movies and... you got it. Those were returned.

They really do love the boys and just don't think about consequenses for their actions. The funny part is they were so strict with their kids.

I can be mad without them or just do my best, with my husband, to mitigate damages. It's a tough tightrope to walk but my Mom is gone now. Better a Mohawk than no parents.

Snort, Laugh.. I am sitting here on the computer finishing this post and I hear, "DAD! You touched my hair, don't touch the do!" I am rolling on the floor here. The kid needs a pin to the balloon of his ego.

 

[Marseeya]

I may be in the minority here, but I don't like the fact that you specifically told the in-laws not to get that type of haircut and they defied you. You had good reasons for not wanting that haircut since it is against school policy, but even if your only reason was because you didn't want it, that should have been enough.

I guess I just feel it is very disrespectful to you as a parent and authority figure to have your wishes ignored so blatently. I know it's only hair, and it will grow back, but still. If it were me, I'd buzz it off with the barber clipper and tell the in-laws next time thanks, but no thanks when they ask to take the kids for their haircuts again.

I agree completely! That sounds totally passive aggressive to me.

Is the hair long enough that it can be combed to look normal?

 

[Beth76]

First of all, I can't believe you have to actually tell them "no mohawks"!!!!!!

Second, I would just shave the rest off and let it grow back. It probably will quickly.

Third, yes I would raise a major stink with the in-laws and they would never EVER be taking my boys to get their hair cut again.

 

[Beth76]

They knew, my husband verified it with them when he picked the kid up. This is not the first time they have done this (they took Steven for his first haircut when he was a baby after I asked them not to). I can be mad or I can get along with my in-laws who are mostly pretty decent. I tell them no guns, not even pretend, they get guns. Bows and Arrows, real ones? Yep got them too. Normally we just quietly get rid of the toys we don't want them to have but it's getting harder now that they are older.

I recently told them 100% no NC-17 movies and... you got it. Those were returned.

They really do love the boys and just don't think about consequenses for their actions. The funny part is they were so strict with their kids.

I can be mad without them or just do my best, with my husband, to mitigate damages. It's a tough tightrope to walk but my Mom is gone now. Better a Mohawk than no parents.

Snort, Laugh.. I am sitting here on the computer finishing this post and I hear, "DAD! You touched my hair, don't touch the do!" I am rolling on the floor here. The kid needs a pin to the balloon of his ego.

Well, sorry, you sort of brought it on yourself then. If you are going to allow your inlaws to break your rules then when do you ever expect them to stop?

 

[EthansMom]

I would call the in-laws and ask if they are taking your son back to the barber shop to have his head shaved because he isn't allowed back in school with this haircut. IF the in-laws come tomorrow to take DS to have his cut in an allowable style, then I'd let them take him in at the beginning of summer to have a mohawk (if his hair has grown in enough). If the in-laws don't fix it, I wouldn't allow them to take the boys to get their hair cut anymore.

Honestly, the adults in this situation should be held more responsible than the child.

Personally, I wouldn't take an 8 year-old to school with this hair style, knowing he'd get in trouble -- a teenager, yes, but not an 8 year-old.

 

[nliedel]

Oh Passive Aggresive R Us around the ranch here.

Nope, it's about, well I wish I could open Photoshop right now (it's acting up) and post a pic. It's about two inches high and a big ole skunk stripe right down the middle of his shave skull. He thinks he looks so amazing but, not so much.

I am laughing now. It's just too funny to be upset about anymore. He will pay, oh yes, he will pay. I am lookig forward to the look on poor Mr. Meyers face on Monday.

As for allowing them to break my rules.. These are my husbands parents and I love them very much. I don't have a mom and it's not black or white, nothing is. We have had blowouts over this kind of thing before and they get very hurt and then the cone of silence starts. That is not fair to the boys. At some point I have to say, "I told you how I felt, I am not happy" and then limit the contact. There will be no haircuts in the future from them. What else would you want me to do?

 

[chicksrock]

omg i am so srry wat are u going to tell the school and wat is the school think