I swear im never guna meet the right guy

[Natalie_89]

why does everyone i meet turn out to be jerks im startin to lose faith

 

[DCTooTall]

Don't loose hope. You are still young and have plenty of time to find that Mr. Right. It does help to remember a few rules.


1. Most younger guys are jerks.

2. It normally takes guys quite a bit longer than women to actually grow up.

3. Your friends will often see signs of the mega-jerk before you do.

4. If your guy has a love for Disney, your odds are greater that the guy is more mature/comfortable in himself than a non-Disney lover

5. Not all guys outgrow their Jerk stage.



i'd say just have fun right now without worrying too much about finding Mr. Right. Figure out what it is you are really looking for, what are show stoppers if they don't have, what are things that'd be nice to have but you could do without, and what you definately don't want.


Oh! and most importantly..... Don't forget you got a ton of friends here, so don't be a stranger!

 

[ShellyLynn3630]

Prayer changes things.

 

[KC78]

Don't loose hope. You are still young and have plenty of time to find that Mr. Right. It does help to remember a few rules.


1. Most younger guys are jerks.

2. It normally takes guys quite a bit longer than women to actually grow up.

3. Your friends will often see signs of the mega-jerk before you do.

4. If your guy has a love for Disney, your odds are greater that the guy is more mature/comfortable in himself than a non-Disney lover

5. Not all guys outgrow their Jerk stage.



i'd say just have fun right now without worrying too much about finding Mr. Right. Figure out what it is you are really looking for, what are show stoppers if they don't have, what are things that'd be nice to have but you could do without, and what you definately don't want.


Oh! and most importantly..... Don't forget you got a ton of friends here, so don't be a stranger!

Very wise words DC!!!

 

[OregonGirl]

Hi Natalie -

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but in general I've found that you're most likely to find a guy once you've stopped looking. More specifically, at a certain point you reach an age where you're focused on your own goals and dreams and career and life, and you're happy with or without a guy, and then suddenly you might meet someone special who can fit into the groove you've already created for yourself. In my opinion, this is the best situation anyway. You don't want a guy to complete you - you want a guy who can compliment who you already are.

If it helps, I recently turned 30 and throughout my 20s I was really thinking I wanted to meet someone and settle down, but that didn't happen and I think I am a better person now because of it. I was able to grow into my own without having to mold or bend to fit someone else.

Hang in there. Mr. Right will come along eventually!

- Carey

------------------------------------------------

OregonGirl (30) [[ Mom (58) Dad (59) ]]

Oregon Family of 3 - Nov 1-11, 2007 – Boardwalk Inn (Mouseplanet TR)

OregonGirl - Our August 2008 Disneyland visit - Marriot Residence Inn Maingate (Mouseplanet TR)

OregonGirl, family of 3 – January 24-31, 2009 – Boardwalk Inn concierge (Mouseplanet TR)

OregonGirl, family of 3, December 6-12th 2009, Boardwalk Inn concierge ºoº (Mouseplanet TR with pre-trip info)

NEXT DISNEY TRIP - DECEMBER 2nd - 11th 2010 - Boardwalk Inn concierge

 

[acm563]

I know this is very "cliche" but take it from an "old lady" that spent much of my younger years with jerks. I promise you the first rule to meeting guys that are not jerks is to LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF! Once you learn to HONESTLY love YOU, you will not even give those jerks a second glance. All of a sudden you will realize one day that you met this really cute guy (who was also a jerk) and you didn't even feel a tiny twinge of attraction for him because you saw those little signs right off the bat! (this applies to guys as well, who only seem to meet users in the female dept. Love YOU first)
It is NOT selfish to love yourself. All those wonderful qualities that make you such a great catch and make you wonder why you cant find the right guy, are those same qualities that should make you love you .
Life is a whole lot nicer as well as a lot more simple when you can learn to be happy being by yourself. It doesnt mean that you do not want a relationship, it just means you wont settle for less than the right person for you who makes your heart melt. It truly is OK to be single I would rather be single and have moments when I felt lonely or sad, than to be with someone and be miserable 99% of the time because he is a jerk.
Noone , male or female, needs another person in their life to be happy and content. You are young. Date, enjoy your youth, and don't try so hard to find your FOREVER. When a person is out actively looking for a relationship they give off an air of desperation and just like fear others can sense it. Have you ever noticed how when you are in a relationship you meet all kinds of guys that are attracted to you? yet when you are single they are few and far between? The reason for that is because when you are in a relationship you arent desperate
So enjoy being YOU, and being single and when the time is right, it will happen. Love is not something you can force, but it has to start from within you first!

 

[DCTooTall]

Very wise words DC!!!

I think that being a guy, I actually know a thing or two about them.

that.... plus i've had mostly females friends for YEARS, so I've seen what they've gone thru.




It is kinda amusing that i'm the only guy who's dared to reply to this thread though.

 

[ACIM]

why does everyone i meet turn out to be jerks im startin to lose faith

Start seeing life as one big parade, starring ... Natalie.
Try not to forget to about the parts also (life will provide the circumstances to practice )
Gradually, life will start changing .....
Just don't be too hard on the big star in the parade, it will bring her

 

[nurse.darcy]

Lets see if I can give this some perspective for you (other than Ang and DC's wise words).

I have had many relationships (a couple marriages thrown in there). Each time one ends I try to learn something from it. I take each relationship as it comes and try to look at the positive things and the negative things. It takes two to make a relationship and sometimes we have to look at ourselves for the failure as much as the "other person". That is not easy to do. Give yourself time, you will probably have MANY MORE "bad" relationships unless prince charming (who comes complete with a full set of reference manuals and operating instructions for a "blissfully happy" life) suddenly shows up on my door. So will you. . .just enjoy each one for what it is.

 

[JaOdNaM]

Hi Natalie -

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but in general I've found that you're most likely to find a guy once you've stopped looking. More specifically, at a certain point you reach an age where you're focused on your own goals and dreams and career and life, and you're happy with or without a guy, and then suddenly you might meet someone special who can fit into the groove you've already created for yourself. In my opinion, this is the best situation anyway. You don't want a guy to complete you - you want a guy who can compliment who you already are.

If it helps, I recently turned 30 and throughout my 20s I was really thinking I wanted to meet someone and settle down, but that didn't happen and I think I am a better person now because of it. I was able to grow into my own without having to mold or bend to fit someone else.

Hang in there. Mr. Right will come along eventually!

- Carey

------------------------------------------------

OregonGirl (30) [[ Mom (58) Dad (59) ]]

Oregon Family of 3 - Nov 1-11, 2007 – Boardwalk Inn (Mouseplanet TR)

OregonGirl - Our August 2008 Disneyland visit - Marriot Residence Inn Maingate (Mouseplanet TR)

OregonGirl, family of 3 – January 24-31, 2009 – Boardwalk Inn concierge (Mouseplanet TR)

OregonGirl, family of 3, December 6-12th 2009, Boardwalk Inn concierge ºoº (Mouseplanet TR with pre-trip info)

NEXT DISNEY TRIP - DECEMBER 2nd - 11th 2010 - Boardwalk Inn concierge

I think Carey just about summed it up. You spend too much time worrying about when you're trying to find that special someone. Stop looking and just live life. I tell people all the time if you try to make things happen you'll focus too much on it and lots of good things will pass you up. I'm still a young'n, almost 22yrs young and I've done a whole lot in my short years, more than most have in their lifetimes. I'm single because I'm living my life and not trying to control it. Enjoy what you have and you'll see that everything works out in the end.
Leave the jerks alone, they're only attracted to pretty ladies and are too immature to notice the great person that is underneath the beautiful exterior.
Here's a firefighter quote that might help, "First in, last out." If you're the first one in looking for the right guy, you'll be the last one out when you eventually find, because if you'd just taken the time to relax and enjoy life, he'd have found you a whole lot quicker!
Take care,
-Jon

 

[Businessgypsy]

...you're most likely to find a guy once you've stopped looking...

I stopped looking so much that I'm bumping into things!

Natalie, it might feel like the end of the world right now, but it's actually just basic training. The wrecks are a necessary part of becoming a stronger, more empowered human. Just like going to the gym makes you feel worse before you feel better, you'll look back at this one day and laugh that it seemed so hard at the time.

Why not cut out the middleman and start laughing now? Besides, if you had stayed with that guy, you would never be able to find the one who's looking for you - or that you're looking for - or who's not looking. What do I know? I'm not looking. Really hard.

 

[beansmom]

everything said above is sound advice.

I was 48 when I met the love of my life and he couldn't have interested me less. He just wasn't 'the one'.

We were married one month ago today! God or Karma or whatever you call it knew so much more about what I need than I do. This man is not perfect by he IS perfect for me.

DC's words are full of wisdom. Younger men ARE jerks...testosterone poisoning. Some have a terminal case.

Time, lovey...time. And Patience.

 

[SydneyFalco]

Don't ever count on your bath water to be the perfect temperature when you put your toe in, and don't ever count on boys to be men.

Rresponsbile guys are getting rarer and rarer. In direct proportion to gals who are able to recognize them, in sad fact. Learn to be the rare example of the latter and you'll probably find the rare example of the former. And also to occasionally burn your toe in the bath.

That's what the wife and I did. We're two appreciative folks with a lot of red toes.

 

[Businessgypsy]

...We're two appreciative folks with a lot of red toes.

Heh, funny. Thought of you last week while looking at the travel posters under the Main Street Station.

FWIW, Natalie, it's easy for us folks of, um...experienced years to dish out so much advice, having passed through the gauntlet of searing pain long ago. None of this is to make light of your feelings, just to let you know it will pass.

 

[nurse.darcy]

Heh, funny. Thought of you last week while looking at the travel posters under the Main Street Station.

FWIW, Natalie, it's easy for us folks of, um...experienced years to dish out so much advice, having passed through the gauntlet of searing pain long ago. None of this is to make light of your feelings, just to let you know it will pass.

Very nice to say and so true. . .

 

[ZephyrHawk]

If a guy is dorky, unattractive, or needs some work on his social skills, he's very likely to be the nicest guy you'll ever meet. If he's hot, dresses well and super-popular...well, he doesn't need you then, does he?

I'm not saying everyone should lower their expectations. I'm saying that I am an advocate for all the sweet, wonderful intelligent guys out there who can't seem to get a chance with girls.

 

[j9000]

Nat,
No matter what any of us say, its not going to take the sting of the current situation.
There are good guys out there, just try taking a step back from looking for a while, the best things always happen when you least expect it, in the most unusual places.

Just keep your head high,

 

[DCTooTall]

Oh... and another piece of wisdom that may or may not help.....

The Absence of a Good thing does not automatically equal a bad thing.

 

[mhf]

This will sound weird but...try dating the NICE guys...not the popular ones. Take a look at the SMART guys...not the cool ones. Check out the library or the math club! And (my bias will show here) don't bother with the jock superstars. So maybe change your approach? Take a risk and do something totally different like asking the computer geek out for coffee? Talk to a quiet guy who's hiding behind a book or a computer program?

I went through several jerks before figuring out that the nice, smart, neighbor guy was IT. And he has been IT for almost 25 years. And he takes me to Disney.

 

[nurse.darcy]

Oh... and another piece of wisdom that may or may not help.....

The Absence of a Good thing does not automatically equal a bad thing.

Oh, I like this.