I need your help with a problem

[daviedude]

Recently me and the person i love got into an argument over something i did in my past, it is something im not proud of and i wished i could take it back but cant , mind you its not an illegal thing or anything. just something i dont wish to do again , it envolves another woman and all so it is kind of a touchy subject, can anyone tell me in their years of wisdom how do i get out of this hole im in ???? I was keeping this from her cause i felt she did not need to know it so please help me , i dont want to lose her !!!!!!!

 

[Pugdog007]

So what did you do and how did she find out?

Sorry dude but I cannot help you without these important details.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Yeah, what Pugdog said.

 

[EthansMom]

Honestly, I'd tell her the stuff you said about it not being something you were proud of but it also isn't something you can undo. And tell her that you love her and don't want to lose her.

Actually, writing it all down in a letter might be better since you can get everything down clearly and no one else can interrupt your train of thought, as often happens verbally.

Oh, and an apology for not having mentioned it earlier would be good.

Flowers always go well with big apologies, IMO.

 

[daviedude]

Honestly, I'd tell her the stuff you said about it not being something you were proud of but it also isn't something you can undo. And tell her that you love her and don't want to lose her.

Actually, writing it all down in a letter might be better since you can get everything down clearly and no one else can interrupt your train of thought, as often happens verbally.

Oh, and an apology for not having mentioned it earlier would be good.

Flowers always go well with big apologies, IMO.

I think you might have something here an apology letter might be in order but i dont think flowers will work for other reasons , and as for the other two posters , im not going into details , that is not needed

 

[LindsayDunn228]

We're not trying to be nosy. It's just hard to tell you opinions that would be appropriate for your situation without details.

 

[SillyMe]

Was this before your current love came along? If it was before her time, then I don't see an apology being necessary. Your past is your past and she shouldn't make you feel guilty for anything you've done, unless it involved her.

 

[NewJersey]

Was this before your current love came along? If it was before her time, then I don't see an apology being necessary. Your past is your past and she shouldn't make you feel guilty for anything you've done, unless it involved her.

Exactly what I was going to say.

 

[daviedude]

Was this before your current love came along? If it was before her time, then I don't see an apology being necessary. Your past is your past and she shouldn't make you feel guilty for anything you've done, unless it involved her.

yes it was just before i met her and im so confused !!!!! i mean one minute you think something is ok and then the next you grow up and realize that hey thats not something im proud of !!! and now this !!!!

 

[SillyMe]

We all make mistakes and whatever you've done, you obviously regret. I can understand she may be upset, but you do not owe her an apology or even an explanation. As long as she will not suffer any consequences, I don't see a reason for it. It should be left in the past.

 

[luv2nascar]

you are teasing us with this. Just enough info to be interesting but not enough to be juicy. Suck it up the man is always wrong- apologize and make her feel you mean it. If momma ain't happy nobody is gonna be.

 

[Pugdog007]

Was this before your current love came along? If it was before her time, then I don't see an apology being necessary. Your past is your past and she shouldn't make you feel guilty for anything you've done, unless it involved her.

While he may not be obligated to apologize... past behavior certainly speaks to character and the new GF has a right to make relationship decisions based on her knowledge of his past actions.

 

[crazy4disney01]

Everybody has things in their past that they are not proud of-I bet your girlfriend does too. If it happened before you met her, it doesn't concern her. Whatever it is, you are ashamed and you've moved on.

You can never move forward if you keep looking backwards!!!

Keep looking forward and stop reviewing your mistakes(you learned a lesson). The people closest to you shouldn't hold the black cloud over your head, life is about living in the moment and looking ahead. Whatever it is, let it go!!!

Life's too short!!

 

[momrek06]

i felt she did not need to know it !!!!!!!

Davie: Tell her exactly what you said to us! You love her and you did not want to hurt her and you "felt she did not need to know it"! BE SO HONEST with everything you say to her...and while you are at it, IF there is ANY thing else at all she should know, tell her so nothing like this happens again. I am sure she will come around. How about a nice dinner at an nice restaurant to talk things over? Davie, life throws us CHALLENGES and we learn and grow from them every single day. If our world was 100% perfect it would be boring! Relationships are the biggest challenges of all and like you said THIS happened before you even were dating BUT still it seems as though it is something you SHOULD have mentioned. Talk to her, listen to her and then MOVE ON away from this topic. Keep us posted and updated! We are HERE for you!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I'll be honest with you...if someone kept busting them off on me over something I did in the past that did not involve them in any way, did not hurt them in any way and did not affect them in any way, I'd be starting to think that maybe that person was "looking" for a reason to break up with me.

So you did something stupid, or something you're not too proud of, in the past. Hello!!!! We all have, including, I would imagine, your GF.

I'd probably say "It's in the past. It didn't affect you in any way. I learned a lesson from it. Now drop it."

I don't have a lot of patience for folks who look for issues where there aren't any.

 

[miss missy]

yes everyone has stuff in their past they aren't proud of and would not do again. You have to take the lesson and move on. Failing = learning = growing= a better you!

I don't know if she deserves an apololgy or not. Hard to say without details, but you should know. If it wasn't something done to her... I dunno if you need to. You don't have to tell her EVERYTHING in your past so do not feel you should.

Honesty will always win out. At all costs keep your integrity!

 

[daviedude]

Thank you all so much !!! Dis is a great place to be , you have all given me great advice and i shall keep you posted how ever things are right now looking up so i think the talking has had a great effect and now i must kind of suck up and deal with my mistakes move on and make my new future one i wont look back and regret!!! I just hope she will see this ppost and realize that i made mistakes in my past and that it doesnt matter much any more !!!! As for her she doesnt make mistakes she is a perfectly beautiful girl that has every ounce of properness a girl should have , she is perfect in every way and thus i love her. im off as it is time for bed but thx again all !!!!

 

[momrek06]

As for her she doesnt make mistakes she is a perfectly beautiful girl that has every ounce of properness a girl should have , she is perfect in every way and thus i love her. !!!!

OH, man, does this ever sound like my 23yo in reference to his DGF! YOUNG LOVE IS AWESOME, isn't it!!!

Can I just remind you, Davie, we ALL put our pants on "one leg at a time"!!!

Are you sure your name is not Chris???

Anyway, please keep us posted!

 

[daviedude]

OH, man, does this ever sound like my 23yo in reference to his DGF! YOUNG LOVE IS AWESOME, isn't it!!!

Can I just remind you, Davie, we ALL put our pants on "one leg at a time"!!!

Are you sure your name is not Chris???

Anyway, please keep us posted!

LOL not Chris that i know of and um did i mention im 23 LOL dont believe me i can furnish proof LOL

 

[momrek06]

LOL not Chris that i know of and um did i mention im 23 LOL dont believe me i can furnish proof LOL

TOO FUNNY, DAVIE...I did not know you were 23..