I need some serious help.

[disneyworldluvr349]

If you don't tell him now, it's just going to keep going and you're going to have to keep lying and it'll end up even worse in the end.

Something like not telling him you're allowed to date is forgivable.

It's not forgivable after everything it took to get to this point.

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

but you don't even know him well enough to be honest with him and if you can be honest with him you will never know if was meant to be

I won't ever be able to know if it was meant to be. Like everything I care about I manage to screw it up.

 

[MACUSER]

Now that it is clear that I assume a ridiculous amount, where do I go from here?

Seems like assuming has got you nowhere so I would stop that. Also seems like lying has got you nowhere so I would stop that.

I didn't tell him at the beginning because I didn't realize how far it would go. I think that was a big mistake if they don't like you for who you are then there is no point to go any further

 

[MACUSER]

but you don't even know him well enough to be honest with him and if you can be honest with him you will never know if was meant to be

I won't ever be able to know if it was meant to be. Like everything I care about I manage to screw it up.

Maybe because you never ask your mothers advise and just go out on your own with no experience.

 

[::Snow_White::]

but you don't even know him well enough to be honest with him and if you can be honest with him you will never know if was meant to be

I won't ever be able to know if it was meant to be. Like everything I care about I manage to screw it up.

This is what I'm telling you: Fix it. Tell him. Be honest.
Talk about everything that has happend. Why you're parents say no, what the future can bring if he waits until you're 18, your feelings about him, why you lied.

Seriously, if he just leaves, then it's his loss. You don't want to hang around with a guy who doesn't care about you enough to wait 6 months.

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

Maybe because you never ask your mothers advise and just go out on your own with no experience.

Could that possibly be because I was never allowed to have experience? I am almost 18 years old and have been stunted in various areas of growth because of the ridiculous restrictions I have had to dance around my whole life.

Seems like assuming has got you nowhere so I would stop that. Also seems like lying has got you nowhere so I would stop that.

Well obviously the skeleton has been out of the closet so what more is there to lie about? This doesn't do much in telling me how to move on.

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

This is what I'm telling you: Fix it. Tell him. Be honest.
Talk about everything that has happend. Why you're parents say no, what the future can bring if he waits until you're 18, your feelings about him, why you lied.

Seriously, if he just leaves, then it's his loss. You don't want to hang around with a guy who doesn't care about you enough to wait 6 months.

I know need to tell him. But I don't want to he will be so hurt and I don't want to hurt him.

I am selfish and I don't want to wait, I would rather text him for the little time I am allowed to than never be able to talk to him again.

 

[MACUSER]

Could that possibly be because I was never allowed to have experience? I am almost 18 years old and have been stunted in various areas of growth because of the ridiculous restrictions I have had to dance around my whole life.

well if this is your first experience it is no wonder why your parents said you should wait. you cant love some one with out knowing them you can't lie or be somebody you not and you not someone who can date then they don't know the real you. he is not going to marry your parents so he doesn't have to like the fact you can't date but not telling him is just wrong

Well obviously the skeleton has been out of the closet so what more is there to lie about? This doesn't do much in telling me how to move on.

you still have not told him the truth so it seems you are still lying to someone

 

[::Snow_White::]

I know need to tell him. But I don't want to he will be so hurt and I don't want to hurt him.

I am selfish and I don't want to wait, I would rather text him for the little time I am allowed to than never be able to talk to him again.

Sometimes, hurting is the only way. Nobody wants to hurt people, but sometimes we have to. He will get over it. Hurt doesn't last usually. Being truthful is going to help you in the long run. I must have missed what you did that will hurt him so bad other than you lying about you not being allowed to date?

I know if a guy I liked a lot said he wasn't allowed to date but in 6 months he could, I would have no problem with it, it would just show he liked me enough that he didn't want to wait to date. (Not that I promote that, I would've rather him told me he couldn't date.) It's not that big of a deal.

And if you are truthful, and he waits, you're not going to never see him again. You're almost graduated, you can move out and go to college, your parents can't control you your whole life, you'll always see him again.

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

you still have not told him the truth so it seems you are still lying to someone

So I tell him the truth. What then?

I can't talk to him, I can't see him, I loose choir. I've lost everything.

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

Sometimes, hurting is the only way. Nobody wants to hurt people, but sometimes we have to. Being truthful is going to help you in the long run. I must have missed what you did that will hurt him so bad other than you lying about you not being allowed to date?

I know if a guy I liked a lot said he wasn't allowed to date but in 6 months he could, I would have no problem with it, it would just show he liked me enough that he didn't want to wait to date. (Not that I promote that, I would've rather him told me he couldn't date.) It's not that big of a deal.

And if you are truthful, and he waits, you're not going to never see him again. You're almost graduated, you can move out and go to college, your parents can't control you your whole life, you'll always see him again.

I haven't told him I couldn't date him. Yet I still pretended like I could. I wanted to so I never told him that I wasn't allowed.

 

[MACUSER]

I know need to tell him. But I don't want to he will be so hurt and I don't want to hurt him.

so you rather have a relationship built on lies or relationship you don't even know there because you wont be honest and see if he will wait . sounds like you don't know him very well at all are thinking with youur emotions and your mind

I am selfish and I don't want to wait, I would rather text him for the little time I am allowed to than never be able to talk to him again.

That is not a mature statement since you are only 17 and have your whole life ahead of you how do you know he would feel the same

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

well if this is your first experience it is no wonder why your parents said you should wait. you cant love some one with out knowing them you can't lie or be somebody you not and you not someone who can date then they don't know the real you. he is not going to marry your parents so he doesn't have to like the fact you can't date but not telling him is just wrong

Said I should wait for what? Until I am by myself and have no clue what to do?

I do know him very well. He tells me everything.
I don't pretend to be someone I am not. I pretended I could have a normal relationship with someone. I didn't change who I was.

Then I am a wrong or awful person for not wanting to tell him. I want to be able to date him. I want to be able to talk to him. I want to be able to have him.

 

[MACUSER]

So I tell him the truth. What then?

I can't talk to him, I can't see him, I loose choir. I've lost everything.

if he is the one he will wait for you and it sounds like you can text him with restrictions .

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

so you rather have a relationship built on lies or relationship you don't even know there because you wont be honest and see if he will wait . sounds like you don't know him very well at all are thinking with youur emotions and your mind



That is not a mature statement since you are only 17 and have your whole life ahead of you how do you know he would feel the same

I would rather be allowed to have a relationship. I would rather after 17 years have my parents give a little. I would rather them understand that I am growing up and that I want to be with him.

The advice I am getting from this is to honest with this boy. If I am honest than what? I still have lost everything.

So I am immature and irrational. Yay.

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

if he is the one he will wait for you and it sounds like you can text him with restrictions .

Restrictions like if he texts you once during the wrong time you loose texting.
Restrictions like you get thirty minutes.
Restrictions like you can't ask for anything back or you loose him.

Sounds like fair restrictions to me.

 

[MACUSER]

Said I should wait for what? Until I am by myself and have no clue what to do?

seems like you are doing it that know since you are not asking your parents for advise

I do know him very well. He tells me everything.
I don't pretend to be someone I am not. I pretended I could have a normal relationship with someone. I didn't change who I was.

you are a person not allowed to date and you pretended you could so you did change who you are.

then i guess you should have been upfront with your parents but you chose to handle it on your own so if he is half the man you seem to think he is he will wait for you

 

[::Snow_White::]

I haven't told him I couldn't date him. Yet I still pretended like I could. I wanted to so I never told him that I wasn't allowed.

Still not that big of a deal. I could think of a billion lies (exaggeration, I don't know that many lies) that are worse. It's probably the least hurtful lie I could think of. I doubt he'll even be hurt by it, I doubt he'll even care.

So I tell him the truth. What then?

I can't talk to him, I can't see him, I loose choir. I've lost everything.

If you can't reason with your parents, if you have tried everything possible to get this to work out, the only thing you can do is deal with it. Put on a grin, push through school and then move out. If he's not there waiting on the other end, there are 6 billion other people in this world. There's no use being sad, there's no use worrying if he'll be there, there's no use to have any feelings except excitement because you'll almost be done with it all.

Obviously if you've tried to talk to your parents and they're not giving in, there's no use in wanting something that you won't be able to have. You can be mad about it, and be sad about it, but if they're still saying no, there's nothing you can do until you're out of there.

This is what I would do.

 

[MACUSER]

Restrictions like if he texts you once during the wrong time you loose texting.

he should respect you enough to not text you when he is not supposed to. but then you would have to tell him the truth why you got in trouble so he understands why he can't text at certain times

Restrictions like you get thirty minutes.

better than not at all plus school and homework comes first plus texting ever minute of a math class you have a c in and then telling your parents you get help durning class is probably not the smartest thing to do .

Restrictions like you can't ask for anything back or you loose him.

Sounds like fair restrictions to me.

sounds like you not sure if he is worth giving everything up

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

seems like you are doing it that know since you are not asking your parents for advise

you are a person not allowed to date and you pretended you could so you did change who you are.


then i guess you should have been upfront with your parents but you chose to handle it on your own so if he is half the man you seem to think he is he will wait for you

I haven't changed who I am. He knows I am a New Moon, Michael Jackson, Twilighted obsessive freak. He knows I want to work at Disney World when I grow up. He know I can't leave the house without makeup. He knows everything except the fact that I am not allowed to date. I don't see how that changed me as a person.


Should have, would have, could have... really gets me nowhere. I made the wrong decision. It's understood.