I need a little help through this.

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Ok the posting info is not where I want this to go and is not the issue of this thread. I understand what everyone is saying but do I have to hear it from everyone? I got the point. now if we can kindly get back to the subject or just don;t post thank you. Not trying to be mean but I got the point, thanks. no need to keep bring it up.

I really hope that happens...it didn't with my post about the pill. I ended up trying to get banned because of that thread. Like you, I tried to keep it on topic and couldn't. Hopefully they will be nicer to you. My DD went to the dr yesterday, by herself, and got on bc. I stayed at home. I am not intending to make this all about my situation, it's just a warning. I think it was Lisa Loves Pooh who when she saw things were getting off topic and I was reacting upset, she told me to leave the thread along. I am SO sorry I didn't listen to her. She was so right. Just like your thread, the first 2 or 3 pages were nice. I got my question answered (should I tell DH about the birth control and thanks to the advice I got, I did tell him) and thanked everyone. Then it turned into a debate that had NOTHING to do with my question. It got nasty, I got nasty. It was bad. SO BAD. There were some really great people on that thread who offered support, even if they didn't agree with me. I don't know, I just want to tell you what Lisa Loves Pooh told me. Leave it alone. If you keep coming back and bumping it up, it might turn into something bigger than what you can handle without getting stressed. I wish you luck. And I won't be returning to this thread because I'm sure once people see I have posted, there will be some comments made. And I'm not going through that again. So PLEASE consider ending this thread. I kept mine going because my ego wouldn't let me abandon it. I regret it SO much.
And if Lisa reads this, thank you. I really wish I had taken your advice.

 

[cheermom1]

I really hope that happens...it didn't with my post about the pill. I ended up trying to get banned because of that thread. Like you, I tried to keep it on topic and couldn't. Hopefully they will be nicer to you. My DD went to the dr yesterday, by herself, and got on bc. I stayed at home. I am not intending to make this all about my situation, it's just a warning. I think it was Lisa Loves Pooh who when she saw things were getting off topic and I was reacting upset, she told me to leave the thread along. I am SO sorry I didn't listen to her. She was so right. Just like your thread, the first 2 or 3 pages were nice. I got my question answered (should I tell DH about the birth control and thanks to the advice I got, I did tell him) and thanked everyone. Then it turned into a debate that had NOTHING to do with my question. It got nasty, I got nasty. It was bad. SO BAD. There were some really great people on that thread who offered support, even if they didn't agree with me. I don't know, I just want to tell you what Lisa Loves Pooh told me. Leave it alone. If you keep coming back and bumping it up, it might turn into something bigger than what you can handle without getting stressed. I wish you luck. And I won't be returning to this thread because I'm sure once people see I have posted, there will be some comments made. And I'm not going through that again. So PLEASE consider ending this thread. I kept mine going because my ego wouldn't let me abandon it. I regret it SO much.
And if Lisa reads this, thank you. I really wish I had taken your advice.

You are right I remember your thread very well and I think you did what was best for you and your family. I love hearing that people do what they need to do with their family. Doesn't mean it is wrong but a different way. It saddens me to see people trying to cram their own beliefs down someone else just b/c they think their way is best for everyone. I did tell her dad but only b/c this is a non issue on our family, she didn't care that I told him but wanted me to tell him. I'm soo sorry it got that way for you, it was wrong to keep something going that had nothing to do with the issue at hand. I will leave if it gets that way. I have to go in a few anyway for an interview and then to my part time job. so I won't be back till late.

 

[MarilIncredible]

Who and what is MainStMandy?

She is (was?) a poster here on the DIS. She just had a Disney wedding back in February or March. She posted a lot of personal information, and suffered the consequences through harassment and possible Web stalking.

It is just smart to be judicious with the details you divulge on the Internet.

 

[Darsa]

Yeah, as soon as I read this post I knew there would be the woodwork-dwellers who would trot out the holier than thou attitudes and dump all over you, and I'm sorry that that's started to happen. I think you're doing a great job, and I also think that it's great that you feel comfortable about talking with your children about a subject that is "taboo" to so many people. AND! I think it's also great that you think well enough of us to be able to "vent" to us.

 

[Myothername]

OP, be proud of yourself that you have raised your daughter to trust you with these issues. I love my mother dearly but could never talk to her about these things. My son, 19, talks to me sometimes about things. Sometimes he doesn't. I take them when I get them. Even if I have to stay up with him until 1:00 in the morning.

As for the personal information thing, don't worry about it. I actually did a little search on google with your screen name and came up with nothing. I did it with mine too and nothing there.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I really hope that happens...it didn't with my post about the pill. I ended up trying to get banned because of that thread. Like you, I tried to keep it on topic and couldn't. .

I realize you said you would not be back here, so perhaps I am silly to ask (but people always seem to post that and then come back so I can hope), why would you try to get banned? If you were unhappy here wouldn't it make more sense to just not come rather than get yourself banned? What of you want to plan a trip later on and wish you could come back? And why would you want to purposely upset people enough to get banned? I am not criticizing (much anyway--I guess I am a little bit just because I can't figure it out) I am truly confused as to the reasoning. Is there some crititical element I am missing her? Or maybe I would understand if I had seen your thread you reference? Regardless I am sorry something on the DIS upset you so much

 

[cheermom1]

Yeah, as soon as I read this post I knew there would be the woodwork-dwellers who would trot out the holier than thou attitudes and dump all over you, and I'm sorry that that's started to happen. I think you're doing a great job, and I also think that it's great that you feel comfortable about talking with your children about a subject that is "taboo" to so many people. AND! I think it's also great that you think well enough of us to be able to "vent" to us.

AWWW thanks so much.

From the time I had her I knew I would do things this way b/c I wanted to make sure that what happened to me never happened to her. I had a very rough teen years b/c my parents pretend it didn't happen and I should have filed a police report but didn't understand what was going on til it was too late.

My goal was to make sure they are able to take care of themselves and be very independent and can think for themselves b/c momma isn't always going to be able to be there.

Judging from what dd has been doing with this experience tells me she is going to be just fine. I am tearing up b/c she doesn't need me anymore but I have to let her fly! I know I do it's just so dang hard!!!

 

[punkin]

She is (was?) a poster here on the DIS. She just had a Disney wedding back in February or March. She posted a lot of personal information, and suffered the consequences through harassment and possible Web stalking.

It is just smart to be judicious with the details you divulge on the Internet.

Thank you. I must have missed that drama entirely. There are a lot of sickos out there I guess.

 

[cabanafrau]

It sounds like you have pretty open communication w/ your DD, which I think most people would consider a good thing. I don't think posting this kind of info. for any and everybody to see is a great way to keep that door open.

I know if I did something like this & mine became aware of it, they wouldn't set the phasers to stun.

I try to maintain a distance about what I post online, but I wouldn't bet the farm no one could identify me, no matter how clever I think I am. Sure wouldn't post anything so private involving someone else.

 

[MerMom60_94]

AWWW thanks so much.

From the time I had her I knew I would do things this way b/c I wanted to make sure that what happened to me never happened to her. I had a very rough teen years b/c my parents pretend it didn't happen and I should have filed a police report but didn't understand what was going on til it was too late.

My goal was to make sure they are able to take care of themselves and be very independent and can think for themselves b/c momma isn't always going to be able to be there.

Judging from what dd has been doing with this experience tells me she is going to be just fine. I am tearing up b/c she doesn't need me anymore but I have to let her fly! I know I do it's just so dang hard!!!

Cheermom, I am 49 years old and I STILL need my mother at times. Your DD has many new experiences ahead of her in life. You can be sure, she'll always look to her momma to guide her along with advice and experience.

 

[cats7494]

Cheermom

I think that it's great that your daughter feels safe and comfortable about talking with you about such a difficult subject! I also think it is wonderful that you have a support system here on the DIS.

I also have a teenage daughter and do understand your concerns and fears. I truly love that your 17 year old is talking to you. My own daughter is open with me and it really is amazing and such a blessing. When I was a teenager, I was NOT open with my parents at all and eventually did get pregnant when I was 19. Luckily for me it all turned out just fine - but it was not easy at all!

Please do not worry about the people who find it in their personality to attack others. I'm sorry that that's started to happen.

 

[amyjo920]

Good for you for having such a close relationship with your daughter!! I took my oldest (15 at the time) to get on BC. We talked about it and my husband and I discussed with her the best option. We are all very close and I'm glad she feels comfortable talking to us. Sometimes it's TMI, but better than us not knowing. I also told her since she started dating that if she didn't feel comfortable telling us she needed it that it was available without parental consent. I wanted her to know the option was there.

 

[FireDancer]

I remember being a teen aged kid and think it is great you were able to have that talk with your daughter. Being male my talk was more about always having protection and took it to heart. I was Wally Wrap it Up and still am. I'd just remind your daughter that even with birth control STDs can be spread so it might still be a good idea to use protection until the BF is tested and comes out clean.

As for the privacy thing sure, there are people with the skills to figure out who you are with the information posted here. This is especially true if they have access to the back end of this site and can see your IP. Is it likely that anyone here cares enough to do this? I highly doubt it.

 

[Ember]

I would be careful about saying your are disappointed in your daughter. She did nothing wrong. In fact, she's shown remarkable maturity and honesty. This is not something to be disappointed in, it's something to be proud of. I also had a remarkably open relationship with my mum, but if I felt my mother disapproved of me you can bet I would have been a lot less forth coming in the future.

 

[cheermom1]

I would be careful about saying your are disappointed in your daughter. She did nothing wrong. In fact, she's shown remarkable maturity and honesty. This is not something to be disappointed in, it's something to be proud of. I also had a remarkably open relationship with my mum, but if I felt my mother disapproved of me you can bet I would have been a lot less forth coming in the future.

I didn't say I disappointed her in but that she didn't wait till she was married but yes I told her I was proud of her for being so responsible about it and that she came to me too. Sorry i guess I need to make myself a little more clear, and on boards like this it is so hard to do. Thanks everyone I appreciate all the kind words.

 

[cm8]

I didn't say I disappointed her in but that she didn't wait till she was married but yes I told her I was proud of her for being so responsible about it and that she came to me too. Sorry i guess I need to make myself a little more clear, and on boards like this it is so hard to do. Thanks everyone I appreciate all the kind words.

 

[pigletgirl]

AWWW thanks so much.

From the time I had her I knew I would do things this way b/c I wanted to make sure that what happened to me never happened to her. I had a very rough teen years b/c my parents pretend it didn't happen and I should have filed a police report but didn't understand what was going on til it was too late.

My goal was to make sure they are able to take care of themselves and be very independent and can think for themselves b/c momma isn't always going to be able to be there.

Judging from what dd has been doing with this experience tells me she is going to be just fine. I am tearing up b/c she doesn't need me anymore but I have to let her fly! I know I do it's just so dang hard!!!

Nope, even being mature in this situation she'll still need you!

I'm glad she was responsible and told you forthright what happened. I can tell you now, there is NO WAY I would of told my parents. That is a HUGE deal and she seems like a really great daughter.

 

[phragmipedium]

My dd is 17 and she tells me everything which I am grateful for. She told me the other day she wants to go on the pill. Ok fine but I started talking to her about her bf (19) and everything that goes with that. Well a few days later she wanted to talk (all before her apt) she wanted me to know that a couple of days before she asked about the pill she and her bf did do something. I told her I knew something was up but she needed to tell me at her own pace. I am so sad as she is officially not pure.

I did know it was about to happen as like I said she talks to me. Please no flames on how I should not be condoning her behavior as I don;t all. I have to make sure she is protected. But I don't think I have to worry too much about her as she made him get tested. But she said it wasn't planned,

I just need some good thoughts to help me through this and to help her through this. Also if there is any advise from others who have gone through this let me know please.

Sounds like you've raised a mature and responsible young lady, and it's wonderful that she felt like she could come to you. (Thanks for clarifying what you meant about unpure and disappointed). I think it's great that you approve of her boyfriend, that she's being smart, and that you're being supportive.

I was always sad when my peers and friends growing up obviously felt like they couldn't talk to their parents or would be really ashamed of obtaining protection, and then they ended up pregnant. Many of these, including my best friend, had parents who would not have responded well to being approached about having sex...it was just "wrong" and that was that. My best friend actually had one of those "promise" rings for abstinence given to her by her father, and had a ceremony for it through her church. Her parents, church, and everyone else found out about her lack of abstinence when they learned about her pregnancy, which happened in large part because she was too ashamed and scared to talk to anyone about obtaining protection. I know she felt a lot of guilt.

If you're mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to take steps to do so responsibly...you raised a daughter that knows that, knows that she can come to you if she needs or wants to, and you should be proud.

 

[cheermom1]

Sounds like you've raised a mature and responsible young lady, and it's wonderful that she felt like she could come to you. (Thanks for clarifying what you meant about unpure and disappointed). I think it's great that you approve of her boyfriend, that she's being smart, and that you're being supportive.

I was always sad when my peers and friends growing up obviously felt like they couldn't talk to their parents or would be really ashamed of obtaining protection, and then they ended up pregnant. Many of these, including my best friend, had parents who would not have responded well to being approached about having sex...it was just "wrong" and that was that. My best friend actually had one of those "promise" rings for abstinence given to her by her father, and had a ceremony for it through her church. Her parents, church, and everyone else found out about her lack of abstinence when they learned about her pregnancy, which happened in large part because she was too ashamed and scared to talk to anyone about obtaining protection. I know she felt a lot of guilt.

If you're mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to take steps to do so responsibly...you raised a daughter that knows that, knows that she can come to you if she needs or wants to, and you should be proud.

AWW thanks so much. I am very proud of her and the way she is growing into a great adult. Just wish I was like her when I was her age. I could NOT have talked to my parents, it was something that didn't exist to them. I am so glad she is being smart about it and is protecting herself.

now if I could just get my son to talk to me???

 

[Darsa]

I was Wally Wrap it Up and still am.

Ohhh, Tag Fairy, where are you???