I know I'll feel better tomorrow, but...

[yourtravelpro]

Originally posted by legs22
I noticed that you just went on a 2nd honeymoon. How was your relationship then?

You sound like you are at the point where you might benefit from talking to a marriage counselor. If you aren't able to get through to your DH, I would go talk to one. It sounds like you are ready to walk out the door and give up on this marriage.

I don't want to give up on my marriage, I love my husband. I know that everyone has problems, whatever they may be. Having the problems, I don't mind, that's life. It's the not being able to communicate and discuss things that is so hard to accept. Without resolution, how can a relationship move forward. His resolution is "I don't want to discuss this". Sometimes even acknowledging a problem is all it takes. If he said to me...something like..."I enjoy playing my online game because it's relaxing after a hard days work. I am sorry I don't mean to ignore you". That's all it would take. There, he gets to do the same thing he was doing anyway, but I am also not feeling so threatened. But, he just doesn't care if I'm sad or if I am crying. He is emotionless. (is that a word?)

 

[septbride2002]

Maybe I'm mean - but if my husband said something like that to me I would delete the game off the computer the next day. Nope, sorry - if the game means more to you then my feelings then we have major problems and until we TALK about them you cannot reinstall the game on the computer.

Would he be pissed - Oh yea - but we would talk. After all what he said to you is uncalled for. It is all your problem - no it isn't.

~Amanda

 

[orvilleair]

Find the nearest electric panel and start flipping circuit breakers. That will get him off the computer. A long power outage in my neighborhood brings everyone together. Everyone is doing there own thing these days.

I usually play those games when I'm bummed out. Maybe your husband keeps his stress hidden, and he deals with it by playing video games. It's kind of an escape.

 

[yourtravelpro]

Originally posted by orvilleair
Find the nearest electric panel and start flipping circuit breakers. That will get him off the computer. A long power outage in my neighborhood brings everyone together. Everyone is doing there own thing these days.

I usually play those games when I'm bummed out. Maybe your husband keeps his stress hidden, and he deals with it by playing video games. It's kind of an escape.

LOL!! Funny thing, is last night I was vacuuming and I blew the circuit. LOL! He comes running in to see what I was doing because his computer screen went black. It's good for him!!!!

 

[WDWLVR]

I hope I'm wrong, but it sounds like this is about much more than a video game. If you really feel that the game is getting between you and your DH then I do think you should look at getting some professional help with or without him.

 

[yourtravelpro]

Originally posted by WDWLVR
I hope I'm wrong, but it sounds like this is about much more than a video game. If you really feel that the game is getting between you and your DH then I do think you should look at getting some professional help with or without him.

You're right, it is much more than just a video game. If it's not the video game, it's something else. TV or his taxidermy projects. Problem is he can't do 2 things at once. If I talk to him when he is involved with anything else, it's like talking to a brick wall. I believe it's important that we each have our own space, but also have together time. He's content just coming home and having me serve him dinner and all, that our together time. He thinks because he comes home and is faithful, that should be enough. He has the "Tom Leykis"attitude,women are here to serve men. This really wasn't evident when we were first married, but it's becoming more of a problem now. I know to change this it's going to have to begin with me, I just don't know where to start.

 

[Serena]

My husband had that attitude too. It didn't go over very well with me, and it caused a lot of arguments. He wanted everything his way, no matter what. And I mean everything. From him doing what he wanted anytime he wanted, to the kids being silent when he was home, to having dinner on the table regardless to when he decided to come home, or if he came home to eat at all.
He didn't get what he wanted, and now our divorce is almost final.
I really feel sorry for whoever has to deal with him.

However, he rarely drank, he worked hard, he was loyal for a long time, a lot of good qualities that I was supposed to rely on and as for the rest, I was told to do what I was told and not complain. That was from my mom.
Like I said, we had a lot of arguments. I didnt' like being a second class citizen very much and it affected my whole life. I was depressed for many years before I realized it, just because I was told to suck it up and deal with it all.

Since he left, I'm learning about me and what I want. It's a new concept.

My point is, deal with things now, let him know how you feel, and if he doesn't listen, then you have got a problem. Make him listen, let him know how serious you are. It is a major issue, don't let him pooh pooh it.
good luck

 

[MinnieM21]

 

[yourtravelpro]

Hi Laurie,

I sent you a PM.

 

[Serena]

got it. sent one back.

 

[epcotfan]

I would treat him the same way he is treating you. Ignore him and see how he likes it. Stop preparing meals for him. Find something you really enjoy and leave him out of it. If you are less "available" to him he might see how it feels to be left out. Beat him at his own game. People tend to want what they can't have. Perhaps after this he will see he is taking you for granted.