I can't possibly imagine what your going through, I am so sorry for your loss. As for the comment, I think some people just don't know how to react in situations like those. Perhaps it wasn't a selfish act, maybe it just her way of avoiding a subject that scares her. If she complains about something trivial, maybe it takes away the severity of the moment for her. No one wants think about losing their child, so it seems for her the best thing she could do was not talk about the loss of a your child. Again I am so sorry for your loss.