I just saw the epitome of self-centered

[Nik's Mom]

Yesterday, after the funeral of my 6yr old son, an old friend came up to me crying. She then proceeded to tell me how awful her estranged husband was being to her. Am I being insensitive here?

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss! How heart-breaking.

Yes, people can say some really stupid things. I'm sorry that friend did not attend to your needs in a time when you must desperately need comfort. That is no friend, in my opinion. A true friend will help pick you up when you are down.

 

[HGD24]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a child is the most heartbreaking, gut-wrenching experience anyone could possibly go through.

Your friend is the insensitive one. Funerals are a time for the family to grief and for friends to listen and lend a shoulder, not the time for this "friend" to be dumping their problems on you.

My sister ended a friendship with someone who did a few insensitive things during the days following my mother's death; including walking into my sister's house just a few hours after our mother had passed away unexpectedly and complaining that her son had been sent home from school for wearing a beer logo shirt, which was against the rules. The day after the funeral, she walked onto my sister's porch and said, "Can I sit down? I need to vent?" That did it. My sister kicked her off the porch and out of her life.

 

[missypie]

I'm so so sorry for the lost of your son. Many hugs to you.

As for the woman, I think she is the type who, when uncomfortable, has to say something. So many people don't know what to say in times of illness or death...some totally stay away, others say really stupid things. Like someone else said, when we don't know what say, we should just be there for our friends. There are probably no words that anyone could come up with that would sooth your less. That's what hugs are for.

 

[missypie]

Yesterday, after the funeral of my 6yr old son, an old friend came up to me crying. She then proceeded to tell me how awful her estranged husband was being to her. Am I being insensitive here?

When you are up to it, I'd love to know what you said to her when she complained about her ex. (It probably wasn't nearly as harsh as she deserved.)

 

[DWGal210]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[starann]

HUGS, losing a child is something no parent should ever face. HUGS

 

[Vallie]

that was very self centered of her, maybe she was having issues but it was definitly not the time to be bringing it up to you.

i am so very sorry for the loss of your son, what a horrible loss

 

[luvmyboys]

Praying for you & your family. And yes, your "friend" was way out of line.

 

[ryanshana]

Didn't read all the pages...

I just wanted to say that I was truly sorry for your loss! I cannot even imagine!

But I also want to say you are not being insensitive....and what i would like to call your "friend" a few things that I can't say on Dis!

 

[Keli]

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, my heart goes out to you.

Your friend probably is one of those folks that just can't get it right during times of loss for others. I tend to think they really cannot help it, they feel such pressure to say 'something' that they do more damage than good and give no comfort at all to the one that needs it the most.

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I am so sorry about the loss of your son. Sending prayers.

 

[ead79]

I am so very sorry for your loss. May the Lord give you comfort and peace. And I'm also sorry that your friend was so insensitive.

 

[Jenvenza]

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son.

I cannot even imagine someone saying something like that at a funeral. Especially to a mother who has just lost her son. I would have been at a loss for words.

 

[ChrizJen]

First, I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.

Second, I agree that your "friend" was completely our of line and beyond insensitive. As others said, I think there is a time for discussions like that, but that was NOT the time or the place.

 

[moon]

I'm so sorry for your loss
I just can't imagine....

 

[MoniqueU]

I am sorry for the loss of your son. I lost mine at about 2 and a half. Some people say the most insensitive stuff, others don't afknowledge your loss at all and then there are the rare gems you can talk to about it.

I wouldn't be spening any time with her anytime soon. I wish you peace. That is all you can hope for at a time like this IMHO.

 

[alizesmom]

Thanks to all of you for your kind thoughts. You have helped me believe that the problem was hers, not mine. To those who asked: I stammered a few words of sympathy to her. I wasn't going to dishonor my son by causing a scene at HIS memorial. Karen

 

[Erin1700]

My prayers are with you.

 

[shortbun]

I am so sorry about the death of your sweet son!!! Perhaps your friend's own grief for you just came out the wrong way and way out of her control. She might not even know what she did. People say weird stuff sometimes when confronted by unthinkable loss. I hope you can find some peace of mind in this time of sadness. I'm sending you a hug and some calm thoughts.

 

[mamajoan]

I am so sorry that you have had to go thru this great unbearable loss.