I just had to come here and vent again!

[Buckalew]

Too hurt or maybe he didn't want to see you.
I'm sorry this has happened to you but I also see this as an inappropriate place to vent. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[A kid at heart]

Sometimes it just makes a person feel so much better to vent. I hope it helped you.
I had no idea that you guys broke up. Good luck.

 

[nativetxn]

Are you feeling any better at all now, Piglet? It's going to take a while for the hurt to go away for both of you. You have both suffered a loss that neither one of you will ever forget.

Take a deep breath now and focus on your future. Try not to dwell on the past if you can avoid it. It will only make you even more unhappy. I speak from experience.

I have some {{{HUGS}}} for you. Tomorrow is another day (sorry Scarlett O'Hara but it is). I hope you can smile tomorrow.

Katholyn

 

[Keli]

Breaking up is hard to do and everyone says and does things during that time that they wish they hadn't. It gets better as time goes on. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

 

[antkim]

I never read any of your previous posts so I can only comment on this one.
Breaking up is a terrible experience whether it a 2 month relationship or 20 years of marriage!Hurt is hurt and we all deal with it in our own way.Some heal quicker than others.
I agree that you should be able to vent on these boards but you should keep the details hidden.You said he is a board member himself so if you ever respected him you should keep it simple!Sometimes when you are hurt things are said that are later regreted.I KNOW THIS FROM EXPERIENCE!My DH and I broke up a FEW times before we got married!haha I can honestly say we are HAPPILY married with the most beautiful DS EVER!(just a little proud!)
Anyways,my point is VENT but spare the details!You can get all the support you need from the people on the boards without getting to deep.
If you need support we are always here!
Hope your wounds heal soon!
Kim

 

[honeywolf7]

I'm sure you have some special friends here you could PM the details to if you need to vent them as well. I kind of agree with Antkim on this one, too I know you need to vent, but you might feel better in the long run if you don't share all the details (and yes, I know I'm not really the one to talk.)

 

[robinb]

I think I agree with the "VENT, but spare us the details" crowd. Maybe you could edit your post to remove your ex's DIS name. It's one thing to say, "My ex broke up with me and treated me like dirt!" and another to say "So-and-so treated me like dirt!". Those folks on the DIS who know you will know who you are talking about withouy saying it "out loud" and the rest of us would be blissfully ignorant. By posting his "name" you have moved it from a VENT to a smear campaign.

That being said, I hope that things get better for both of you. It was not to be ... which is better to know now than years from now. I shutter to think being married to the first man I was engaged to! That was in my mid-20's and I am now happily married in my early 40's.

 

[Piglet203]

Thanks again for all of the support here. I realize that I was wrong in putting so much detail in the post. I was so angry and hurt (still am) that I just didn't know how to deal with it and the last thing I was thinking about was how I could write everything and be respectful. I took out his name out of respect.

I am also doing a lot better. I am keeping busy and making friends and spending a lot of time with my family, which is important. I am doing a lot of rethinking and journal writing which helps me too. I have also bought some new cds which is very helpful (therapy). It's true that everyday things seem to be better and I feel stronger.

Anyways, I just wanted to apologize if I came across as an immature little girl that just wanted to write bad things about an ex to expose him. I'm sorry if I came across like that and if some of you felt weird about it. Just know that I truly didn't think everything through as I vented on here. Writing it did make me feel better though! Thanks again for all of the support.

 

[Wonderlandmom]

Glad you are doing better !

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just offering a late {hug} here for you, Piglet.

 

[honeywolf7]

(((Hugs))) I'm glad it made you feel better

 

[nativetxn]

I'm so glad to know that you are feeling a little stronger and a little better about this situation. {{{HUGS}}} sweetie. Every day will be just a little easier.

 

[kylara]

I don't know the story here like some, but I am sorry that both of you are hurting so much. It does seem as if he left the stuff on the porch because he couldn't face seeing you. I don't think the trash bags were suppose to be disrespectful but a way of keeping the stuff together and that was waterproof in case of bad weather.

Also as for including the "other stuff." Maybe he felt that these were things you would want even if you didn't ask for them. I know that somehow during my divorce, I ended up with all the wedding stuff (video, pictures, announcement, etc). Sometimes men aren't as sentimental about that stuff. And lots of times, they just assume women are going to be sentimental about it. He probably felt on safer ground giving you the bridal magazines than throwing them out. Also, he did take what pictures he wanted...I am guessing that he probably still kept some with you. And he did include you with his family...to me it would have been worse had he taken them all out...

As for the Mickey...well maybe he should have kept it, but her probably felt that it wasn't appropriate...or that it would be too sad a reminder.

I know that you are hurt (any break up leaves hurt feelings) but please don't put your feelings on him. He might have felt he was doing a good thing, but you interpret it as a bad thing. It is a matter of perception. That could also explain his reaction to your note...he might have felt he was trying to do a good thing by adding in the extra stuff and making it available even if he wasn't, and was caught off guard by your note.

Anyway, I just thought I would try and give you a different perspective on the situation. Having been through a divorce with lots of misunderstandings at the begining, I learned not to automatically think that the other person was thinking the same way as me...when I wasn't sure, I got clarification...probably why my ex and I are able to get along when thrown together now (we still have some of the same friends).

 

[Leota]

Piglet - Sorry to hear of your recent break-up - Time heals all wounds & things will get better - I also know it takes alot to apologize & admit a mistake after venting on the Boards. I did that once, a totally different circumstance - I made a snap judgement & posted something fairly harsh - After looking at the issue from all sides, I had to post an apology. I have tried, since that mistake, to be more careful in my posts.
There is someone here with whom I have a somewhat turbulent relationship with & I am very grateful that neither of us vented about the other here, but that we chose to handle our issues in private. It is a matter of respect for each other. In the end, our handling the matters privately allowed us to remain very close. If we had handled it differently, I'm sure we wouldn't ever speak to each other again & that would have been a tragedy.