I had a feeling I wouldn't get through the holidays...

[JerseyJanice]

without some drama.

The chief drama-maker in my family was surprisingly well-behaved when we saw her on Christmas Eve. I was feeling happy about it, but part of me didn't believe it would last.

Lo and behold, last night I got a phone call from a mutual friend. The friend told me that this relative is angry with me and her because we saw each other last Saturday. The friend's sister asked us to come over to her house for a card game. It was a last minute thing, and the girl whose house we went to had some of her in-laws there as well. She invited the friend and me; I don't see how it was our place to invite another person, especially since she had a full house.

Not thinking it was any big deal when the relative asked me if I had given the mutual friend a gift she had left, I told her that we went to the friend's sister's house Saturday. We conversed about it and I didn't think a thing of it--until last night's call from the friend.

So apparently, I have to hide any and all contact I have with this friend from my relative to keep her from becoming offended that she was "left out." Meanwhile, the friend and I live 5 minutes apart, and our sons are friends. The relative lives 15 minutes up a major interstate and doesn't drive. She has no children. It boggles my mind that she would expect the two of us to check in with her whenever we decide to see each other.

It doesn't bother me that the relative is hurt or mad because I swear she lives to find things to get offended about. However, I am upset that our friend is angry with me for mentioning that we saw each other. I hate being forced into a situation where I have to lie repeatedly to spare another adult's too-sensitive feelings.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

JJ, you KNOW *I* sympathize with you.

 

[Sandy V.]

I simply would refuse to lie. You don't owe any explanations to either of them, especially since you harbored no ill intent toward anyone. Sorry that you have to deal with the drama.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Thanks, Mare. And you know which relative I'm talking about too.

Ugh! The scariest part is that she seems to be getting nuttier by the year. She used to be a fun person too.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Thanks, Mare. And you know which relative I'm talking about too.

Ugh! The scariest part is that she seems to be getting nuttier by the year. She used to be a fun person too.

Knew right away.

That IS the scariest part. You kind of figure people mellow out and mature with age. And then there are the exceptions, and unfortunately, you and I both got one.