I give up on Christmas this year

[Mommy2cody]

I am feeling the same this year! I just don't feel like doing any of it! We have had a VERY stressful and busy year. This is my FIRST Saturday home in over 6 months. I usually put all the Christmas stuff up the day after Thanksgiving, but I am just getting to it today!

I am starting to get excited though. Usually I bring out all my pretty ornaments and ribbons and get all professional with my tree, but it is a lot of work and my DH and DS just like to throw the ornaments anywhere! I get upset but feel guilty telling them they can't help with the tree! So this year I wasn't feeling like dealing with all that, I don’t even want to take the ornaments out! So my son and I are decorating the tree with candy and cookies! We have candy canes and we made a candy garland! We are going to make those cinnamon cookies to hang on the tree!! Totally different then usual but I think it is going to be great!

Hopefully once I get all the stuff out I will have more Christmas spirit!

 

[clovergirl5]

Nevermind: Merry Christmas.

 

[pearlieq]

Once I realized that every room doesn't need to be decorated, I don't need to bake six different kinds of cookies, I don't have to send fifty cards when half those people don't even acknowledge them, I don't have to host the whole family for dinner, on and on. Guess what? My stress level went way down and believe it or not no one is upset that I choose to celebrate Christmas with my little family only or that they only get one kind of cookie in their tin. If there's something I usually do that doesn't get done and it bothers my family they know they are welcome to do it. Once it dawned on me the perfect holiday isn't necessarily my vision of perfect things went so much smoother, I could breathe and actually ENJOY the holiday.

Well said!

OP, time to step back and figure out what's important to you. Is it the decorating, the parties, the special foods? Whatever it is that makes you happy, that's what you continue to do, and you do it to please no one but yourself. The rest can fall by the wayside. If it's important to someone else, they can do it.

I hope you find a way to have a peaceful, happy holiday season!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I will give you an example of one of the "scale backs" this yr.

We get together with our family at my sister's Christmas Eve. We are bringing plenty of appetizers however the meal right now is going to be "pizza". It is a long stretch noon-7pm so we have to have some type of dinner.

We agreed to tell the guys in the family if they want something else then to buy it, bring it and cook it.

I am kicking back this year. Our family needs time to reconnect and we want to spend it doing that and not worrying about "cooking".

 

[Disney Doll]

My late DMIL gave me one last great gift the years she died.

She died on December 9th, having been sick and requiring round-the-clock care in her home for the 3 months prior to her death, which we (her children and children-in-law) provided. Much of what I usually "do" for Christmas gets done between November 1st & December 15th...the bulk of it actually gets done in the few days after Thanksgiving. Based on the fact that I was responsible for some portion of every day caring for DMIL, a lot of "Christmas" didn't get done that year. And you know what???

Christmas still came....

We celebrated the birth of Christ, which is what we believe Christmas is about. The family was together. And if a few gifts didn't get bought, or a few decorations didn't go out, so be it.

As I said, it was my DMIL's final gift to me...the understanding that Christmas comes regardless of whethe e are "ready" for it or not....

 

[AlleyKat]

I refuse to make myself miserable trying to make for a joyous season for everyone else.

I'm trying to stick with this philosophy this year but I'm still stressed!

Two nights ago, I told myself "Next year you're going to Disney for Christmas". Whether I do or not remains to be seen but I'm definately doing something for, and with, just myself!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I bought an XBOX360 for myself this yr. So I am feeling pretty good. Now I need to decide on a game for it.

Normally I don't do something like this, however this yr. I did it.

 

[Buckalew11]

On top of all this, DH's aunt who lives in a retirement/nursing facility decided she wanted to host Christmas Eve there for DH's family (his parents are deceased). She very mobile (went to Bermuda and NYC in the last 6 months). I am just not looking forward to having a "party" in the dining room of a nursing facility for our Christmas. I know I should be happy since that means no cooking, but it just isn't festive and homey to me.

Off to decorate alone, and try to get the Christmas spirit.

My grandmother lived in a place like this. It was more of an assisted living place. I can reassure you that it will mean something to her if you all go, keep an open mind and try to relax and enjoy.

This is HER HOME now. She can't invite the family to her a house, she lives there and it is her home.
If the people who work there dress in tuxes etc. then it will be decorated and festive, I'm sure. It sounds like a really nice place and nice places decorate it beautifully because they also know this the residents home.

My dd and I used to go over to Nana's and serve the residents dinner on holidays. It was hard work and a huge blessing to us. People need interaction and seeing new faces will bless them immensely. They will enjoy having people in their "home". I saw it year after year.

I'm not ragging on you. I feel for you. I remember feeling resentful that my family couldn't go to nana's old house for family get togethers anymore. But the truth was, this was her new home. Different? yes. But it was nice and better than I have now she is gone.

I hope the holidays can get more cheerful for you. The expectations are high and the so is the stress. I struggle with it too as you can see most people do to some extent. Sometimes it is because we miss loved ones or divorce breaks up family/tradition, or just busyness. I think everyone really has to work at keeping it fun, nice, pleasant and in check.


I didn't think the OCD comment was any type of slam. I'd like to get a system like that myself. And I just might.

 

[Buckalew11]

I bought an XBOX360 for myself this yr. So I am feeling pretty good. Now I need to decide on a game for it.

Normally I don't do something like this, however this yr. I did it.

Santa bought me a very nice carry-on yesterday. And I'm taking it to WDW in about 4 weeks. Merry Christmas to me. From Santa Claus.

 

[dawn1620]

Looking back it sounds like I was just whining....which I was. Work is crazy and now our move has been kicked into overdrive...as in this weekend instead of the three weeks from now as initially planned. Our furnace finally died this morning so we have been packing like mad all day and will continue into tomorrow with the big move on Monday. Thankfully we have friends and family coming to help - we're only moving 10 minutes away which is a huge plus. So now my house looks like a war zone. With that and all the family parties, school plays, ect going on I just feel very scrooge-like.

Sorry everyone, just venting. I usually do enjoy the Christmas season and I am very thankful for my family. I really do bring it on myself for not making DH do more and for not making DD realize how lucky she is to even have presents and a roof over her head ect. when there are kids out there that don't have anything.

I have lost the true meaning of Christmas this year but I'm trying to get it back...

But I do wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!

 

[honugirl]

Why don't you get them out of the house doing something for others? Maybe it will break their gimme, gimme, gimme habit. I've been saddled with a piece of crap disease. Most of the time I feel pretty darn useless. I don't have the energy to work, go to school or to do much around the house, which after awhile makes you feel horrible. But, I found 2 volunteer opportunities that only take an hour or so a couple of times a month. My mood has improved significantly and it's reminded me what's important during the holidays: making someone else who's got it worse off than you feel like a million bucks.

 

[clovergirl5]

Looking back it sounds like I was just whining....which I was. Work is crazy and now our move has been kicked into overdrive...as in this weekend instead of the three weeks from now as initially planned. Our furnace finally died this morning so we have been packing like mad all day and will continue into tomorrow with the big move on Monday. Thankfully we have friends and family coming to help - we're only moving 10 minutes away which is a huge plus. So now my house looks like a war zone. With that and all the family parties, school plays, ect going on I just feel very scrooge-like.

Sorry everyone, just venting. I usually do enjoy the Christmas season and I am very thankful for my family. I really do bring it on myself for not making DH do more and for not making DD realize how lucky she is to even have presents and a roof over her head ect. when there are kids out there that don't have anything.

I have lost the true meaning of Christmas this year but I'm trying to get it back...

But I do wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!

Its an overwhelming time of the year for moms especially. Alot of us have been there. Nothing to be sorry about

 

[mickeyboat]

I had a Christmas whine fest last weekend. I was feeling very stressed about how much I had to do, and about how everyone else (especially DH) complained about the very little they had to do to contribute. This is while we were putting up and decorating the tree, and I was ready to explode.

On top of that my FIL was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. DH's 3 sisters and their families who live far away, along with my mother, will be coming the day after Christmas. Just when I thought I would have some end to the stress, even more will be arriving.

But I am feeling better with every task I cross off my list, and DH has been helping more. I am trying to count my blessings.

Happy holidays to all!

 

[clovergirl5]

I had a Christmas whine fest last weekend. I was feeling very stressed about how much I had to do, and about how everyone else (especially DH) complained about the very little they had to do to contribute. This is while we were putting up and decorating the tree, and I was ready to explode.

On top of that my FIL was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. DH's 3 sisters and their families who live far away, along with my mother, will be coming the day after Christmas. Just when I thought I would have some end to the stress, even more will be arriving.

But I am feeling better with every task I cross off my list, and DH has been helping more. I am trying to count my blessings.

Happy holidays to all!

Sorry about your fil (my parents have a good friend who was diagnosed with that last year). Best wishes and happy holidays to you too. We all need to remember to count our blessings

 

[WDWtraveler27]

At the risk of sounding like my favorite radio host, Delilah, you should slow down and relax and through all of the lights, packages, wrapping paper, and tape, don't forget the true reason for the season.

El Paso's delilah from 99.9???

 

[ZPT1022]

I cut way back on my gifts ..... most people on my gift list can buy just about whatever they need so it was hard to surprise them.

This is our situation with gift buying. Everyone has everything they need, pretty much everything they want too. It's really hard to buy for people who just run out and get whatever they want whenever they want it. I hate the feeling that we are buying something just for the sake of buying something. I wish we could stop doing the gifts and just concentrate on doing something as a family.

I will give you an example of one of the "scale backs" this yr.

We get together with our family at my sister's Christmas Eve. We are bringing plenty of appetizers however the meal right now is going to be "pizza". It is a long stretch noon-7pm so we have to have some type of dinner.

We agreed to tell the guys in the family if they want something else then to buy it, bring it and cook it.

I am kicking back this year. Our family needs time to reconnect and we want to spend it doing that and not worrying about "cooking".

That sounds like a wonderful time! I would LOVE for our families to do something like that.

Nevermind: Merry Christmas.

Hey, I saw what your post was and totally understand- DH's aunt and uncle, now just uncle, live in a place like that. It's like luxury senior housing. Not sure if you have kids, or kids in your group, but for what it's worth, when we go to visit, there are some residents who don't have little kids around who absolutely adore seeing our kids. We've never had a meal there without them coming up and talking to the kids, playing with them, rummaging through their purse for candies, sending over extra ice cream, etc.... But I still understand what you're saying, the food is bland at best (the residents like it, that's what counts I suppose) and the atmosphere does not scream "Christmas". I hope that if you go you are able to make the best of it and take heart, you are not the only one being made to go somewhere you'd rather not on the holidays

On top of that my FIL was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

I'm so sorry





Add me to the list of those who aren't really looking forward to Christmas. Luckily, DH is finding his backbone this year where his family is concerned so while things might not entirely go our way, they are headed in the right direction. I'm trying to be grateful for that, since he usually just goes along with what his family wants and I'm the one who looks like a giant "b" when they can't have everything they want (ie, they are unwilling to share OUR time with my family)

 

[Mr.MouseFan]

El Paso's delilah from 99.9???

If it's the same Delilah from Atlantic City's 96.9 then yes. Love songs, etc from 7 to midnight?

 

[Hidden_Mickey]

OP, don't stress. Pour yourself some egg nog with lots of rum and relax! We have cut back too. Not as many gifts, we don't travel, and I DO NOT decorate other than the tree. If DH wants to send out cards then he does it. If your kids ask where XYZ is, then tell them they are welcome to do it themselves. If they want it, they will do it. If they don't do it, then they didn't appreciate it so why should you kill yourself doing it?

 

[Buckalew11]

If it's the same Delilah from Atlantic City's 96.9 then yes. Love songs, etc from 7 to midnight?

We have her on here also.

 

[MIGrandma]

I don't do as much stressing out over Christmas as I used to, when the kids were little and I thought everything had to be "perfect." It doesn't have to be. It took me years to learn that though.

I do very little baking anymore, just a couple special kinds of cookies that I only do at Christmas, fudge and peanut brittle, and a couple pumpkin rolls.

I don't put out as many of the Christmas knick-knack decorations as I used to, I just put out my favorites and the rest stay in the box (should just donate them to Goodwill I suppose).

DH puts the tree (artificial) up and strings the lights, then I decorate, leaving a few ornaments for him to put at the top since I'm too short.

I used to address, sign and write notes for approximately 60 holiday cards. I've cut that down to 23, and only a special few get notes anymore.

We shop together, he's always done that with me thankfully.

He helps wrap gifts, and he's always done that as well.

I don't think husbands should get a "get out of jail free" card for Christmas. It's their family too. They should help as much as possible.