Ember
<font color=blue>I've also crazy glued myself to m
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2005
- Messages
- 3,468
Just over six months ago my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I uprooted that day and moved in with her. My husband cut short his PhD across the country and moved in as well. She was given three months...
I'm so very grateful that she's still here. She's my best friend and I love her more than anything. But the constant stress is starting to build for me. We are finally moving out of her one bedroom apartment (she had a lease and couldn't move until now, so we've been three people in a small one bedroom apartment). I think this itself will help ease the stress, as being crammed in has been difficult.
But it's more than that. As an only child, I'm the only support she has. She is dependent on me (and my husband) for everything. Because she is home alone while we work, when we get home she wants to be taken out. I understand that she's bored, but this gets hard as she needs be taken out in a wheelchair. There's no down time. I help her bathe and dress, make her juice (which has her laxative and protein supplement), organize her daily drugs, and take care of all the finances. DH is great and does most of the cooking and laundry.
She is also very needy emotionally, which is another area DH is great. She gets anxiety attacks regularly and is constantly worrying that things are getting worse. She doesn't want to speak to a councilor, she spoke to one once, but doesn't wish to see another one. But it's a daily thing for her and I can't seem to ease her in any way. She had anxiety medication, which she does take, but her panic feels constant. She keeps wanting to know what every ache and feeling means, and I have no answers...
I don't mean to complain, I really don't. I am so grateful to be with her and I wouldn't trade this time for anything. But I'm feeling very weary. I know my marriage is strong, and that we're okay, but I also miss being with my husband. And I feel guilty for that. But after two years away, he's been home six months now and I have yet to have a night alone with him. I miss my friends who I see much less often. I can't make plans for things because it depends on whether it's a good day or a bad day for my mum.
I know this will only get harder, and I'm not sure where to turn for help. I'm feeling very guilty and trapped and scared...
If you made it this far, thanks for listening.
I'm so very grateful that she's still here. She's my best friend and I love her more than anything. But the constant stress is starting to build for me. We are finally moving out of her one bedroom apartment (she had a lease and couldn't move until now, so we've been three people in a small one bedroom apartment). I think this itself will help ease the stress, as being crammed in has been difficult.
But it's more than that. As an only child, I'm the only support she has. She is dependent on me (and my husband) for everything. Because she is home alone while we work, when we get home she wants to be taken out. I understand that she's bored, but this gets hard as she needs be taken out in a wheelchair. There's no down time. I help her bathe and dress, make her juice (which has her laxative and protein supplement), organize her daily drugs, and take care of all the finances. DH is great and does most of the cooking and laundry.
She is also very needy emotionally, which is another area DH is great. She gets anxiety attacks regularly and is constantly worrying that things are getting worse. She doesn't want to speak to a councilor, she spoke to one once, but doesn't wish to see another one. But it's a daily thing for her and I can't seem to ease her in any way. She had anxiety medication, which she does take, but her panic feels constant. She keeps wanting to know what every ache and feeling means, and I have no answers...
I don't mean to complain, I really don't. I am so grateful to be with her and I wouldn't trade this time for anything. But I'm feeling very weary. I know my marriage is strong, and that we're okay, but I also miss being with my husband. And I feel guilty for that. But after two years away, he's been home six months now and I have yet to have a night alone with him. I miss my friends who I see much less often. I can't make plans for things because it depends on whether it's a good day or a bad day for my mum.
I know this will only get harder, and I'm not sure where to turn for help. I'm feeling very guilty and trapped and scared...
If you made it this far, thanks for listening.