I can't win

[Jenn Lynn]

Well, I just told my Mom that MIL is going with us to WDW. I kind of had too because she is coming here the weekend after we get back. She will want to see pictures and I'm sure MIL will be in some. Plus what if Avery mentions Grandma in Disney when she talks about it?

She had the reaction I expected. She got real quiet and I said "Mom?" She said, "I could have gone without knowing that." She gets so jealous. We do everything we can to see them. We just went on vacation with them in July, she is coming out here for 2 weeks in October, and, weather permitting, we said we would spend Thanksgiving with them and my Grandparents in Nebraska.

I just seems like I am damned if I do, damned if I don't.

 

[debster812]

I'm sorry.

It's never easy juggling between families.

 

[SnowAngel]

My Mom's like that too. It's hard

My Mom got upset because dh and I are going out for my birthday. I asked if she wouldn't mind watching the girls and she got upset because I didn't invite her to go.

 

[Kim&Chris]

What a shame...it's a terrible feeling to be torn that way.

Hope all works out for you!

 

[shelbyjosh]

My mom is the EXACT same way!! Heaven forbid if you go somewhere and don't invite her. Yet it is ok for her to go here, there, and everywhere without asking me if I'd like to go!! We went to watch my nephew's hockey game Sat. Mind you she got back from Branson Sat., too!! She was bothered that we didn't mention it to her. How the heck was I supposed to know?? She can't handle sitting in the rink to watch DD skate for 50 minutes, let alone a hockey game!! She is so afraid she will miss something that someone said. You have to understand she is the town crier and queen of gossip. She has burned all family members out of vacationing with her. They just can't stand her anymore. She has lost friends on vacations because she is so miserable!

 

[Pooh67_68]

Guess I am one of the lucky ones, my mother was never jelous of the time I spent with my mother in law.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Jenn

 

[tonyswife]

Sorry Jenn. It's a tough balancing act. My mom and my MIL are seemingly in a never ending competition to be the "best" Gramma. My mom is more the take the kids to the park and run and roll around go on rides kind of Gramma. My MIL is more of the sit and read books, color/paint and cuddle Gramma. They are both great, but MIL is nearly 20 years older than my parents. They have different "styles" but they both want to be considered the best. Jealousy sucks. The end result is that when all three grandparents are in the same place at the same time, DD prefers my Dad (I WUUUUUVVVEEEE my Papa) to either one of the Grammas.

 

[QJ411]

That's a tough situation, I'm sorry to hear Jenn, I hope everything works out! Please try not to let you damper your WDW Trip!! Have fun, and enjoy!

 

[decker96]

to you. So sorry, I know how hard it is to feel like you disappointed your family. She will get over it though and you guys will still have a great trip!

 

[tkyes]

Sorry Jenn

That's gotta be a tough situation. I don't think there is much you can do though. It sounds like you share your vacations fairly with both sets of parents.

I know it feels like it all falls on you, but this is your mom's thing to deal with. I don't know that there is anything you can do to help her get over the jealousy she is feeling.

 

[Nancy]

You could deal wioth what I do and that is everytime we mention going on a trip somewhere my MIL says "would it be ok if I came along?" UMMMM...NO! If we wanted you we would have asked already...and we have gone to WDW with both Grandmas already. My SIL will do the same thing and I get tired of explaining how we never get much family time and we need to go away with just our family. I mentioned going on a cruise (just a dream trip, nothing definate) and MIL says "oh when you go I'll come along. I can watch the girls while you 2 spend alone time." My girls are 11, 14 and 16..they don't need grandma watching them...plus we don't even really plan on going...it is just a dream trip of mine.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Thanks for the support.

I am not going to let this affect my vacation. I don't feel guilty about it because I know it is HER problem and not mine. I knew she was jealous of DSis MIL which is why I expected the reaction I got. I just hope I remember this when My kids grow up, get married and have children of their own. If I am ever jealous I will try my very hardest not to show it.

She did try to end the conversation nicely. Saying she was glad Avery was feeling better. I probably won't call her for a couple of days though just to give her space.

 

[SnowAngel]

My Mom always tells me she and older db are "family" and should be kept in the same tone as dh, my girls and I. "We deserve and are just as or more important as they are to you."

 

[EsmeraldaX]

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by Nancy
You could deal wioth what I do and that is everytime we mention going on a trip somewhere my MIL says "would it be ok if I came along?" UMMMM...NO! If we wanted you we would have asked already...and we have gone to WDW with both Grandmas already. My SIL will do the same thing and I get tired of explaining how we never get much family time and we need to go away with just our family. I mentioned going on a cruise (just a dream trip, nothing definate) and MIL says "oh when you go I'll come along. I can watch the girls while you 2 spend alone time." My girls are 11, 14 and 16..they don't need grandma watching them...plus we don't even really plan on going...it is just a dream trip of mine.

Where were you on a recent thread where I seemed to be the only person who didn't think it was okay for the grandma to ask if she could go on vacation with her daughter's family? Everyone kept advising her to do just that - I couldn't believe it! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who thinks if you're not invited it's not okay to ask to be invited.