I am picking my battles....

[HelenePA]

I have not worn a coat in YEARS! Heck i'm still wearing flip flops! We are a warm blooded family for the most part.. my oldest dd and my 4 yr old son despise wearing coats! We are a hoodie family..

 

[kristilew]

Mystery Machine - try the coats from Aeropastle. They run down to an xxs, which fits DD12 just right - she is like your DD, between the girls and adults sizes.

We have the opposite problem here - DD wants to wear her warmest coats when it is way too hot out. We have posted temperature guidelines - the faux fur doesn't leave the coat closet unless the paper says the high for the day will be below 50.

Either way, I agree, pick your battles. As for the talking back, for me it would depend on the tone that went with the remark. As long as it didn't cross a line to disrespectful, I'd probably just laugh about it "Oh, excuse me! You don't we-ar coats!" If it was ugly, though, I'd probably say, "ok, when you get home from school all your coats and jackets will have been given to someone who can appreciate them. If you change your mind, you can earn money to buy youself another one."

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I gave up the battle of coats a few years ago. My DD is 15 and only wears hoodies. I think she wore a coat 5-10 times last winter.
They're old enough to know if they want to freeze or not.

We all don't use umbrellas, can't stand them.

 

[maslex]

OH this is SOOOO going on at my house right now. LOL

Well, not so much with me having trouble with my son not wearing a coat but my MIL is having mental anguish about it. LOL She recently built on a MIL apartment to our house and this is her first winter here.

My DS14 has not worn a winter coat in forever. When it snows and he's outside playing or shoveling, THEN he'll wear one complete with gloves, hat, ear muffs and boots. But waiting out at the bus stop, he's out there in his shorts, long sleeve shirt and hoodie. Not only does he not wear a coat but he hates wearing jeans. It's shorts for him. Doesn't bother me AT ALL. I was the same way when I was that age.

But my MIL is just having a fit about it. Tells me everyday that he needs jeans and a coat and that SHE NEEDS to go out and buy him some clothes because he doesn't have any. (yeah, okay....he's going to school naked yet again) She went to the store yesterday and bought 2 $48 Carhartt hoodies and a pair of $15 jeans and THEN B!T@HED about how much money SHE HAD TO SPEND because he has NOTHING to wear. Oh dear help me. I tell her not to bother buying anything because it will never be worn and you'll just waste your money. Maybe I'll just show her this thread and let her know that it's not just my son.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Mystery Machine - try the coats from Aeropastle. They run down to an xxs, which fits DD12 just right - she is like your DD, between the girls and adults sizes.

I will give it a shot! Thanks

And you are so on target. I probably need to start hitting alot of the smaller shops.

 

[C.Ann]

Good for you. Natural consequences are she will either get cold and want to start wearing her jacket, or she won't. I think picking your battles is a very smart thing to do..

I agree.. My crew didn't start this until high school - but I figured if they got cold enough, they would wear one.. If not - natural consequences..

 

[missypie]

A couple of years ago all the girls at our church only wore flip flops...even in winter, church dress, bare legs and flip flops. That was a battle I chose not to fight...if my Ds want to freeze, so be it. (Not a problem now that Ugg boots are in.)

 

[Rora]

OP- my mom always fought with me about my coat, wearing closed toed shoes, etc when it was cold outside.

Up until probably my junior year of high school, I never listened. Then, I realized I was being RIDICULOUS and it was simply too cold for such fashion nonsense.

She'll learn!

 

[JerseyJanice]

If you happen to see my 13 year old daughter out without a coat on, please don't think I am a negligent Mom. She is insisting that she is NOT COLD and does not need a jacket to go to school.

DH this morning told her to put a jacket on before leaving for school. Her new comment is, I don't wear jackets!! Fine... I refuse to battle with her everyday over this. I told dh after she left today to leave her alone, I am done fighting with her over this. I told him if I make her wear one she will end up leaving on the bus, or it will get lost. At least right now I know it is here at home.

We will see how long this lasts, we are in NJ so it has not been horribly cold just yet.

I'm another NJ mom with a 13 year old who went to school this morning wearing only a sweatshirt. At least he put his sneakers on today! Every other day this week, he wore flip-flops and socks.

I figured if I pushed the jacket too much, it would wind up stuffed into his locker all weekend.

 

[SaraJayne]

If you happen to see my 13 year old daughter out without a coat on, please don't think I am a negligent Mom. She is insisting that she is NOT COLD and does not need a jacket to go to school.

DH this morning told her to put a jacket on before leaving for school. Her new comment is, I don't wear jackets!! Fine... I refuse to battle with her everyday over this. I told dh after she left today to leave her alone, I am done fighting with her over this. I told him if I make her wear one she will end up leaving on the bus, or it will get lost. At least right now I know it is here at home.

We will see how long this lasts, we are in NJ so it has not been horribly cold just yet.

I feel your pain. My DS is the same way. It's 18 degrees here today and he has on a sweatshirt. He doesn't "need" a jacket.

Okay, I guess he'll wear one when he gets cold enough. He'll learn.

 

[Sneezie]

My DD16 wears a coat... now. I was like you, it's fine with me if you don't want to wear a jacket as long as you understand:

1. You ARE NOT ALLOWED to hang on to my arm and try to huddle up with me to keep warm when we are out.

2. You ARE NOT ALLOWED to blast the heater in the car when we get back in it.

3. And when it gets too cold (which doesn't happen often in southern Louisiana), you ARE NOT ALLOWED to go out without a coat/jacket, because I am the one who has to take off from work to care for your sick behind!

No battles, no scars!

 

[Wall-E1]

I do the same with my son. I pick the battles that I will fight for. My son prefers a multi-front attack strategy. He comes at you from many different tactical positions. Even though he is smaller, he uses a variety of unique, battle proven strategies to wear down the much larger offense(me). He has done the "I'm a big, tough man. I don't get cold" tactic. At the same time, he has combined this with the "I don't need to study. I already know this" attack. And then from behind comes the "All the other parents let their kids..." sneak attack. Now obviously, if I were to try and battle all fronts at once, I would always be leaving an unprotected hole at some place in my troop lines. So, I always go into these multi-front battles with one thing in mind - "Just hold the line. If the line doesn't collapse, that is a victory in itself". Sometimes, to win the war, a battle or two can be lost for the greater good. My strategy is hedging on wearing down the enemy by hanging in there and not retreating.

 

[AlternateEgo]

My battle with my 7 year old is that she doesn't want to wear socks and also doesn't want to wear a heavy coat.

I refused to allow her to wear a jacket and nearly beat her to get her to wear socks.

Now that I know I am not the only person dealing with this... maybe it does seem insane for this daily battle to start off my day. I feel bad enough that I am yelling and arguing with her and it usually results in her crying, then not wanting to go to school...

It just seems to me that her teachers would have a tantrum if I sent her to school without socks and a heavy coat.

 

[C.Ann]

3. And when it gets too cold (which doesn't happen often in southern Louisiana), you ARE NOT ALLOWED to go out without a coat/jacket, because I am the one who has to take off from work to care for your sick behind!

No battles, no scars!

It seems I remember reading somewhere that aside from suffering from hypothermia, you really can't get "sick" from being cold.. Illnesses - for the most part - are caused by bacteria or viruses - and dressing warm won't ward either of those things off..
It's also said that it's healthier to sleep in a cold bedroom because germs LOVE warm air..

 

[Sneezie]

It seems I remember reading somewhere that aside from suffering from hypothermia, you really can't get "sick" from being cold.. Illnesses - for the most part - are caused by bacteria or viruses - and dressing warm won't ward either of those things off..
It's also said that it's healthier to sleep in a cold bedroom because germs LOVE warm air..

Sshhh! She doesn't have to know that!

 

[sbell111]

Good for you. Natural consequences are she will either get cold and want to start wearing her jacket, or she won't. ...

You can't catch a cold from being out in the cold without a jacket. People catch more colds during the winter because they tend to congregate together inside where it's warm (and where all the sick people are). You can still get hypothermia or frostbite, but I assume that the OP's child isn't that stubburn.

My DD16 wears a coat... now. I was like you, it's fine with me if you don't want to wear a jacket as long as you understand:

1. You ARE NOT ALLOWED to hang on to my arm and try to huddle up with me to keep warm when we are out.

2. You ARE NOT ALLOWED to blast the heater in the car when we get back in it.

3. And when it gets too cold (which doesn't happen often in southern Louisiana), you ARE NOT ALLOWED to go out without a coat/jacket, because I am the one who has to take off from work to care for your sick behind!

No battles, no scars!

This post reminds me that I always have the "Where's your coat?" conversation not with a child, but with my wife. She almost never wears hers and very typically ends up 'sharing' mine.

 

[C.Ann]

Sshhh! She doesn't have to know that!

Oops! Sorry..

LOL..

 

[lillygator]

I know what you mean....it was in teh 60's here this am and my 7 year old kept begging off a jacket....in fact most of the safety patrols were in shorts with t shirts.....

 

[carone0318]

So I couldn't help but read this thread today. I also live in NJ and my 8 (almost 9) yr old is going to send me to an early grave. As many other people from New Jersey know it was pretty warm here yesterday, but as the evening set in it started to get cooler, especially as the sun went down.

Well, my ds came home from school, peeled off his jeans and put on jean shorts. He then removed his shirt and put on a Nike tank top, one he would normally wear to basketball practice (which to me is acceptable.) He did his homework which is also a chore to get done with him. He knew he had to come out with me later to get dd from the gym. I told him he can't wear what he has on, it's too cold outside. He argued with me, continually, that it's not cold, blah, blah, blah.

Well, around 4:30, I finally said fine go outside for 30 minutes only wearing what you have on (tank top, short, socks.) After 5 minutes, I opened the backdoor and asked if he was still warm, he said yes. I said, well you are sitting in the chair right by the house (on the back patio) you need to go sit at the end of the patio in the chair where the wind is really whipping. The wind yesterday had gusts up to 40 mph. He tried to come in at one point to get a drink, so he said, and I said no, if you come in you will get warm, you can have a drink in 30 minutes when time is up - so back out he goes.

About another 5 minutes later, he decides to come in. He never outright said I won the bet, but he knew I was victorious. He changed his shirt into something a little more acceptable, and I was ok with him wearing the jean shorts. He did have on a jacket when we went out later.

After picking dd up from the gym, on the way home, ds said to dd, mommy beat me in a bet. There ya go, I was victorious and it was acknowledged.

I accomplished more in the 10 minutes he was outside freezing, then the hours I would of spent arguing inside the warm house that according to him it's warm. It's just the child that he is, sometimes he needs hands on experience...

 

[luvmy3jewels]

We have the same battles at our house. My kids are in early elementary school and with the weather constantly changing (yesterday it was in the 60's, today 50's and tomorrow will be 40's) it is sometimes hard to get accross to them that they will need a coat. If they tell me they don't want to wear a coat, I make them go stand on the porch for a few minutes to make sure they want to make that decision. Usually they come back in and grab their coat. But if they come in and still say they don't want to wear one, I don't push the issue. I do try to keep spare jackets in the car, just in case they change their mind.

Of course, my dh never takes the time to grab a coat either, but if it's really cold, I try to remind him (which he usually thanks me for later)!