I am beyond livid at the teacher

[Wishing on a star]

Thanks!!!!

Homeschooling has indeed been a challenge, especially with his learning disability.

There is the possible opportunity for us to move from this smaller town to a bigger more metropolitan area, with more options... So, one day, perhaps we can find a private school or program to help meet our son's needs.

Our son does have learning deficits, but he is still a truly wonderful and intelligent boy! (if I do say so myself....)

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

BuffettFan, I'll stand with you because my life experience has taught me the same things. I also agree that an ice cube in a pocket isn't bullying. It only seems like a bigger deal because the adults are making it a bigger deal. The whole "I'm withholding a teacher's gift because I'm mad at you. So there. Suck on that" attitude is an especially nice touch.

I'm going to have to say that I doubt the teacher's going to care that she got 26 gifts of office supplies instead of 28.

I'm also going to hazard a guess that most of the parents in this country who don't post on the DISboards probably wouldn't have snowballed this incident into a seven-day inquisition. There are more important things in life than who said what to whom and I suspect perspective on this issue went out the window several pages ago.

What people don't recognize is that when someone expresses a differing opinion (and let's face it, that's all BuffettFan's post was - a differing opinion) and the group gets together to gang up on that person, question their education, tell them they're a bad coach and a bad parent and infer that they're a worthless human being, it's called...


...wait for it....


bullying.

Fortunately for us, our life experience has taught us that in order to be a victim of bullying, you have to allow others to bully you. Something we never would have learned if our parents had fought all our battles for us. I guess it gives us the courage to stand alone and hold to our values in the face of an angry mob trying to diminish us because of those values.

Which is yet another trait most parents on this thread seem to want their kids to learn.

Ironic, yes?

Well, if that's not blaming the victim, I don't know what is.

I believe the first post calling us all a bunch of overwrought weenies was the first shot across the bow, to which several of us responded (defended ourselves?).

How it became bullying is beyond me-maybe because we were successful in defending our position?

I'm fairly sure that I'm the only one who questioned her abilities as a coach because she's allowing children to yank each other's underwear and otherwise be abusive to each other. This would make me a bully if I was in a superior intellectual or physical position to the other poster. You can call it squabbling, but you're incorrect to call it bullying.

When you throw out your educational degree as a way to give your argument more weight than it would otherwise have, then I'm absolutely going to question it.

Outside the Dis, many parents in my group feel as strongly about bullying. It's a hot topic both online and in real life.

So yes, I think it's quite ironic that you post on here calling the people who are concerned about bullying bullies, when you and buffett dismiss us as a bunch of overprotective parents, and insult us.

But that's what I would expect from a bully.

 

[Carly_Roach]

"I believe the first post calling us all a bunch of overwrought weenies was the first shot across the bow, to which several of us responded (defended ourselves?)."

I never saw an overweight weenie comment on this thread nor have I seen Buffettfan attacking anyone on this thread. Looks like I've stepped into a clique thing with dramatic undercurrents and ongoing battles that I wasn't aware of. Sorry 'bout that.

I'm just an objective observer speaking my mind and agreeing with an opinion that matched mine when it comes to this particular incident. Y'all have a nice day now. Y'hear?

 

[mjkacmom]

There have always been bullies, there will always be bullies, both children and adult. There is always going to be a certain percentage of the population who are bullies. Yes, we need to punish bullies, but they're not going away. We need to teach our children how to not be bullied. There are certain individuals who end up being targets for bullies, and certain individuals who are not. There is a reason for this. For those who are targets, they need to learn how not to be a target. I went to an amazing lecture by the author of the book Odd Girl Out, which addressed this subject, and how to deal with bullies (she also runs a summer camp for girls). I recommend this book highly.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

There have always been bullies, there will always be bullies, both children and adult. There is always going to be a certain percentage of the population who are bullies. Yes, we need to punish bullies, but they're not going away. We need to teach our children how to not be bullied. There are certain individuals who end up being targets for bullies, and certain individuals who are not. There is a reason for this. For those who are targets, they need to learn how not to be a target. I went to an amazing lecture by the author of the book Odd Girl Out, which addressed this subject, and how to deal with bullies (she also runs a summer camp for girls). I recommend this book highly.

I loved that book; I wish it had been written when I was a kid.

When I was a young teen and being severely bullied, (the girls used to save packets of sugar and salt from lunch and pour it on my head the class afterwards and yell "Joie never washes her hair, look at all that dandruff." Every day. For that whole year.) my mom's answer to it was "they're just jealous of you".

Imagine how much easier my life would have been if I'd had the tools and skills to avoid bullying in the first place, and my mother had had the skills to put a stop to it on her end.

The exquisite irony of it is, some of those same girls now want to be my "friend" on facebook.

Evidently it was just all in good fun for them and they're over it.

 

[horseshowmom]

My DD came home from school yesterday and said she *thinks* that she and the bully are the only ones to not bring the teacher a gift for the end of the year. They still go one last day on Monday. DH said we are not spending a dime on the teacher. (again it would be a different story if she accidently let my kids name slip, but we all know it was more than that).
I asked DD if she wanted to bring a gift and she said NO, just that she wondered what the teacher thought.
Would you bring something?
I should add that my DH runs a warehouse for a popular office supply store so throughout the year we have donated quite a bit of supplies.

No, under the circumstances I would not (and I've spent 24 years working as a classroom teacher/librarian/administrator).

The child confided in her teacher to try to help another student, and the teacher chose to share that information. Inappropriate and showed a total lack of regard for the child. Definitely no gift!

 

[PaulaSB12]

BuffettFan, I'll stand with you because my life experience has taught me the same things. I also agree that an ice cube in a pocket isn't bullying. It only seems like a bigger deal because the adults are making it a bigger deal. The whole "I'm withholding a teacher's gift because I'm mad at you. So there. Suck on that" attitude is an especially nice touch.

I'm going to have to say that I doubt the teacher's going to care that she got 26 gifts of office supplies instead of 28.

I'm also going to hazard a guess that most of the parents in this country who don't post on the DISboards probably wouldn't have snowballed this incident into a seven-day inquisition. There are more important things in life than who said what to whom and I suspect perspective on this issue went out the window several pages ago.

What people don't recognize is that when someone expresses a differing opinion (and let's face it, that's all BuffettFan's post was - a differing opinion) and the group gets together to gang up on that person, question their education, tell them they're a bad coach and a bad parent and infer that they're a worthless human being, it's called...


...wait for it....


bullying.

Fortunately for us, our life experience has taught us that in order to be a victim of bullying, you have to allow others to bully you. Something we never would have learned if our parents had fought all our battles for us. I guess it gives us the courage to stand alone and hold to our values in the face of an angry mob trying to diminish us because of those values.

Which is yet another trait most parents on this thread seem to want their kids to learn.

Ironic, yes?

Are you serious the victim is to blame? Whatever can cause an 8 year old to commit suicide is their own fault because they didn't have the nice clothes or where different in some way. How simple can it be CHILDREN ARE KILLING THEMSELVES IS THIS WHAT YOU CONSIDER JUST PART OF BEING A CHILD? one child was grabbed by pupils stripped half naked and pictures where taken and distributed around school but of course that is the victims fault. By making that most pathetic excuse you are not only harming the victim but encouraging the bully by saying the child deserves to be picked on. We do not expect to be harassed at work as adults so why should children be expected to put up with it.

 

[luvsJack]

BuffettFan, I'll stand with you because my life experience has taught me the same things. I also agree that an ice cube in a pocket isn't bullying. It only seems like a bigger deal because the adults are making it a bigger deal. The whole "I'm withholding a teacher's gift because I'm mad at you. So there. Suck on that" attitude is an especially nice touch.

I'm going to have to say that I doubt the teacher's going to care that she got 26 gifts of office supplies instead of 28.

I'm also going to hazard a guess that most of the parents in this country who don't post on the DISboards probably wouldn't have snowballed this incident into a seven-day inquisition. There are more important things in life than who said what to whom and I suspect perspective on this issue went out the window several pages ago.

What people don't recognize is that when someone expresses a differing opinion (and let's face it, that's all BuffettFan's post was - a differing opinion) and the group gets together to gang up on that person, question their education, tell them they're a bad coach and a bad parent and infer that they're a worthless human being, it's called...


...wait for it....


bullying.

Fortunately for us, our life experience has taught us that in order to be a victim of bullying, you have to allow others to bully you. Something we never would have learned if our parents had fought all our battles for us. I guess it gives us the courage to stand alone and hold to our values in the face of an angry mob trying to diminish us because of those values.

Which is yet another trait most parents on this thread seem to want their kids to learn.

Ironic, yes?

Regardless of who says it or why they say it; I cannot get over that anyone cannot see humiliating another human being is BULLYING!! And that is what this kid did when she made it look like that other child had wet her pants. Humiliating someone should NEVER be ok. Real jokes do not humiliate. This was not a joke.

And as for "allowing others to bully you"? That is the biggest bunch of hogwash I have ever heard. You obviously have no clue what you are talking about and have had no life experience that has taught you anything about this. No one "allows" someone to bully them, no more than a woman "allows" someone to rape her, or a person "allows" someone to assault them. THEY ARE VICTIMS.

My kids will always stand up for what they believe in and stand up for themselves. It was just a damn shame that my son had to hit the bully who tormented him in the head with a football helmet for anyone to stand up and pay attention. It should have never have come to that. Thank God the kid wasn't seriously injured. My son should have been protected by the school as should all kids.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Regardless of who says it or why they say it; I cannot get over that anyone cannot see humiliating another human being is BULLYING!! And that is what this kid did when she made it look like that other child had wet her pants. Humiliating someone should NEVER be ok. Real jokes do not humiliate. This was not a joke.

And as for "allowing others to bully you"? That is the biggest bunch of hogwash I have ever heard. You obviously have no clue what you are talking about and have had no life experience that has taught you anything about this. No one "allows" someone to bully them, no more than a woman "allows" someone to rape her, or a person "allows" someone to assault them. THEY ARE VICTIMS.

My kids will always stand up for what they believe in and stand up for themselves. It was just a damn shame that my son had to hit the bully who tormented him in the head with a football helmet for anyone to stand up and pay attention. It should have never have come to that. Thank God the kid wasn't seriously injured. My son should have been protected by the school as should all kids.

I totally agree with you, I DID try and stand up to my bulllies the result? When I got pushed into the road ( the car managed to stop in time) I was put in detection for lying. When I tried to stand up for myself the head joined in with the bullying now you may be able to stand up to children (though how you do that with a large group) but how the heck do you stand up when the head teacher starts on you?



http://www.edgesanfrancisco.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=89757

So are you going to blame this 11 year old for being driven to suicide by some horrible punks?

 

[Nicoleclaw]

I can't believe that the mom is standing by her daughter saying that is a joke!!!

 

[Carys]

I can't believe that the mom is standing by her daughter saying that is a joke!!!

Yep, it's worse than a parent who'd say Oh my child would never do that - she's not even in denial, she's endorsing her kid's bullying. Sorry OP to hear about what the teacher did, but good on your daughter for standing up for the victim.