I’m not imagining things, am I?

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

This article popped up in my newsfeed today and it made me think of this thread. It sounds like what your husband is caught up in. I highly recommend the supposed $90k he has made be withdrawn from wherever it’s being held.

https://apple.news/ACN6ZZ7BhRm2trUDlydn3xQ

OMG that sounds EXACTLY like everything he’s been telling me, for months now! And I know that the “relationship” has been going on for much longer than that.

I looked up other articles on “pig butchering” and it’s like I could’ve written them about my husband.

So I just that link to him at work. He’s claiming that he has already read that article (yeah right). I then copied parts of other articles and sent them to him, and he said that he’s read up a lot more than I realize. Then he said “Okay, I’m obviously not going to make you feel secure, but I know what I am doing”.

Thank you so much for posting that link.

 

[Miffy]

OMG that sounds EXACTLY like everything he’s been telling me, for months now! And I know that the “relationship” has been going on for much longer than that.

I looked up other articles on “pig butchering” and it’s like I could’ve written them about my husband.

So I just that link to him at work. He’s claiming that he has already read that article (yeah right). I then copied parts of other articles and sent them to him, and he said that he’s read up a lot more than I realize. Then he said “Okay, I’m obviously not going to make you feel secure, but I know what I am doing”.

Thank you so much for posting that link.

I'm stopped on the "I know what I'm doing" quote. Really, he can do whatever he wants to do, but you do not have to participate. What I mean is, you absolutely under no circumstances should participate. No signing of loans, no lending him money, no helping him out when he goes bust, because that is exactly what's going to happen.

OP, I know how hard it is when someone you've trusted for years turns out to be totally untrustworthy, but, please, do yourself a favor, get your ducks in a row, protect yourself and your disabled son, and get away from this situation. What I mean is that it's time to start divorce proceedings. You've tried very hard to convince yourself that really, it's all okay and everything will be fine. But it's not okay and it's not going to be fine.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Get a divorce, split your assets, even if it means you have to sell the house and move. But then your assets would be your assets, not his, and ditto (more than ditto) for his debts.

I imagine that why you're hanging around and putting up with this is that you feel you can save your marriage. Hey, if you want to go down the drain along with your husband, go for it. No one can stop you except yourself.

Sorry to be so harsh, but it's time you faced reality and stopped fantasizing that things will change and everything will revert to the safe, secure state it used to be. That ship has sailed. And now it's sinking. Get off before it's too late.

 

[SteveMouse]

This article popped up in my newsfeed today and it made me think of this thread. It sounds like what your husband is caught up in. I highly recommend the supposed $90k he has made be withdrawn from wherever it’s being held.

https://apple.news/ACN6ZZ7BhRm2trUDlydn3xQ

OP, see this ProPublica article, which does not have a paywall. It seems familiar. https://www.propublica.org/article/...scam-heres-how-to-avoid-falling-victim-to-one

 

[princesscinderella]

OP, see this ProPublica article, which does not have a paywall. It seems familiar. https://www.propublica.org/article/...scam-heres-how-to-avoid-falling-victim-to-one

It wasn't behind a paywall on my phone but it is on my computer.

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

So last night I logged onto the DIS boards. I had a private message waiting for me. This person was able to figure out my original DIS name. I confirmed that they were correct. So, if need be, I will ask them to post it here, because you guys are not going to believe the texts that are going on between my husband and me, right now. This is Lifetime Movie of the Week stuff. I mean, this whole thing is. I totally get why some of you thought this was a hoax.

I really need to post the exact text messages because this is too good (see….I can make light of even the worst situations. Most situations, anyway) to not let you see what he’s saying.

Give me a little while to copy/paste/however I’m going to do this.

And to my secret DIS friend, I cannot thank you enough for the help you’ve given me.

 

[tzolkin]

I understand what you're saying, but I'd be extremely uncomfortable in this set of circumstances not to be present and trust that those who attend behave ethically. I'd don my best Dr. No garb and show up prepared to make it very clear the entire exercise is going nowhere and I will not be agreeing or cooperating whatsoever in unlocking my equity in my home.

Me too. That's why I have felt strongly since the beginning that OP should have reached out to the bank directly and explicitly stated (preferably in writing) that they do not want a loan taken out against their home. At least there would be something on record indicating that you absolutely did not agree to this, so if signed papers are returned the bank will know they were forged.

 

[cabanafrau]

Me too. That's why I have felt strongly since the beginning that OP should have reached out to the bank directly and explicitly stated (preferably in writing) that they do not want a loan taken out against their home. At least there would be something on record indicating that you absolutely did not agree to this, so if signed papers are returned the bank will know they were forged.

Hence the wet blanket at the party(meeting/loan application/closing) suggestion. Inexplicable things can happen with documents. Letters can somehow never have reached a recipient. Nobody forgets or ignores Dr. No who comes to the meeting, takes names/titles/photos, is pleasant as can be -- and states very unequivocally that they oppose the loan/opening of the equity in their home.

No need to threaten anybody with legal action. The taking of names while forgetting to hand out lollipops leaves no one in doubt of the potential consequences if they don't handle everything to the letter of the law. Banking is accountancy after all.

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Text messages from this morning. Please keep in mind that my responses are not what was going through my mind at the time. I tried to keep my comments short, hoping that he’d keep talking. Which he did. He hasn’t said another word about it, but he’s still at work so I’ll see tonight.

 

[firefly_ris]

He thinks he is hot stuff.

 

[princesscinderella]

Unfortunately for your husband when gambling or in this case getting scammed the house usually wins.

 

[firefly_ris]

Unfortunately for your husband when gambling or in this case getting scammed the house usually wins.

Right. Also I love the "this isn't anything like that" after sending the articles to "well it is like that but I'm gonna beat the scammer". Also, having a HELOC to look good on your credit score? What a bunch of crap.

 

[wenrob]

Unfortunately for your husband when gambling or in this case getting scammed the house usually wins.

This. And he’s gaslighting you and buttering you up all at the same time. The arrogance is mind blowing. I don’t believe for one second he’s got this under control or that he doesn’t still want that HELOC.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Withdrawing the money and keeping it without reinvesting is not the genius idea he thinks it is and I’m fairly certain those scammers will not allow that to happen. I guarantee he’s not the first person to think of that so I’m sure the scammers have some type of safeguard against it. He really thinks he’s so smart and he’s about to be made a fool. But hey girl, keep hope alive. You might have a Disney trip in your future.

 

[Chili327]

This article popped up in my newsfeed today and it made me think of this thread. It sounds like what your husband is caught up in. I highly recommend the supposed $90k he has made be withdrawn from wherever it’s being held.

Absolutely agree 110%

Withdrawing the money and keeping it without reinvesting is not the genius idea he thinks it is and I’m fairly certain those scammers will not allow that to happen. I guarantee he’s not the first person to think of that so I’m sure the scammers have some type of safeguard against it. He really thinks he’s so smart and he’s about to be made a fool. But hey girl, keep hope alive. You might have a Disney trip in your future.

The scammers aren't usually the smartest, but they are definitely experienced, so you never know, but you HAVE TO protect yourself, regardless!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/
https://www.reddit.com/r/scambait/

 

[SC Minnie]

I don't understand how lying to you was helping him psych out the scammers??? How would they know? He's gotten caught by you and he is for sure gaslighting you. He thinks he is going to scam the scammers but it doesn't usually work out that way.

And with interest rates the way they are getting a HELOC is not the brightest idea to just have the money sit there. I wouldn't think having a loan outstanding for that amount would do anything but hurt your credit score.

 

[Allison]

I'm sorry but your husband cannot be trusted. Run.

 

[dvcgirl67]

This is bat-**** crazy talk. Legit nuts.

 

[dvcgirl67]

He thinks he is hot stuff.

He sure does....and sounds more like a teenager than an adult. Also...like he's in a cult and has figured out a way to outsmart the cult leader.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

He sure does....and sounds more like a teenager than an adult. Also...like he's in a cult and has figured out a way to outsmart the cult leader.

I'm honestly finding this storyline harder and harder to believe because I don't know how I would just hang out at home with someone like everything was normal if they were coming at me with this level of BS.

 

[dvcgirl67]

I'm honestly finding this storyline harder and harder to believe because I don't know how I would just hang out at home with someone like everything was normal if they were coming at me with this level of BS.

I don't know any rational thinking adult who speaks like that. And why are they having a conversation like this supposed conversation....via text message?

If any of this is actually true, the conversation would go like this in my house...."What in the actual **** are you doing?!" Depending on the answer, we'd be on our way to the hospital for a neurological workup, or to counseling to see if our marriage could be salvaged. I'd also change the passwords on all of our Vanguard and BofA accounts to prevent any further damage.

But again, I don't know any adult who speaks like that. It feels made up to me. Maybe it's not, but that's how this reads.