I’m just curious what other “Mama Bears” would have done?

[Fishbone†]

Just a “fun” appraisal of other people's past responses, or “would have” responses to a situation from this weekend.

My DH and I have a classic car, so we do car shows, and DS (6 months) comes with us. He really likes being outside, and actually kind of likes all the cars too. We have a pop-up canopy we bring so we can spread a blanket out under it, and DS can play on the blanket in the shade all day. At the show this weekend, the grassy area was directly across the street from where our car was parked, so we weren’t sitting right next to our car like usual, but we were right across the street, about 50-60 feet away. Anyway, it was about time that DS was getting hungry, but he wasn’t fussing yet – just pulling himself up on my pant leg, which usually means he’s hungry if it’s getting about that time, so I picked him up, handed him to DH and headed across the street for the bottled water I had in the car to make his bottle. When I walked away, he was not crying, but when I returned, less than a minute later (however long it takes to walk 60 feet, grab a bottle of water off the dashboard, and walk back 60 feet), he was in crying. I grabbed a nuk to soothe him, and quickly made a bottle. The nuk didn’t completely work, but it quieted him some. All in all, he probably cried less than two minutes, and the bottle ended all noises but some sighs. Anyway, this guy walks up to DH from about three cars down and says, “The guy down there says your baby is driving him crazy”. I didn’t hear him say it, but I saw from the look on DH’s face that whatever he said did not sit well. When DH told me what had happened, I looked down and gave this guy my best “mom stare” when he looked my way, but I REALLY wanted to go down and say something. I didn’t though. I behaved myself. The thing is, first of all, this wasn’t just a car show – it was a town festival, so it was a family event. If that guy can’t handle the noise of a child, he shouldn’t be there. That aside though, I could MAYBE sympathize if DS had been screaming for ½ hour or something, but it was probably under two minutes, and for sure under 3 minutes, and he’s 6 months old, so while he can cry loud, he certainly isn’t the volume of say a toddler tantrum, or a ear-piercing scream. It was just an “I’m hungry” cry for a short couple minutes outside (not even indoors). So, I’m just curious – has anyone else had this happen, and what did you do? Or just hypothetically, what do you think you would do? I had thoughts of walking right up behind the guy and taking DS’s bottle away just to really make him crazy. Or walking up and asking if he has a problem he wants to talk about, since he apparently doesn’t have the guts to come say something himself. Obviously I’m neither that creative nor that brave.

I forgot about it within about 5-10 minutes since after DS was done eating we went walking through the craft sale, but I just thought it would be fun to hear other people’s responses. That way if it happens again, I can be more prepared.

 

[Jennasis]

I'm not a mama...or a bear....in fact, the sound of a child screaming drives me crazy too. However, I would NEVER ever say something to someone at a festival, a store, a restaurant or anyplace else (except a movie theatre...I've said thigns MANY times there). I will just walk soemplace else or move my seat, or just deal with it.

As for what my response to the guy would be? nothing. I can't imagine any sane individual would confront someone over something like this.

 

[sunnyday123]

Honestly, since my XH has a horrible temper, it probably would have ended with him being arrested-seriously, that's happened before.


However, if it were me the guy had told, I would've told him that since his buddy was too much of a bleepy to tell me himself, he could gp bleep bleep bleep himself. Edited for the DIS!

At 6 months, your son has no chance of repeating those words!

 

[java]

I would have walked down and said "If you have a problem with me why not come down and say it yourself. Perhaps you weren't socialized enough as an infant??"

 

[suejai]

I would have handled it exactly the way you did. It's his problem not yours. And he may have just made a random comment and the guy that told you about it was just stirring the pot or being officious.

 

[RadioNate]

I can't believe any of you would have confronted the guy. Who cares. I would have went about my business and paid him no mind.

The guys buddy said something, not even the guy who was annoyed. I picture the buddy like my dad, he'd think he was being funny repeating what his friend said in private. Some how I doubt the guy asked his buddy to go down to you guys and tell your DH that your child was annoying him.

Ok, maybe if the guy made eye contact with me at a later time I might give him a WTH look but why bother starting something?

 

[NMAmy]

Just a “fun” appraisal of other people's past responses, or “would have” responses to a situation from this weekend.

My DH and I have a classic car, so we do car shows, and DS (6 months) comes with us. He really likes being outside, and actually kind of likes all the cars too. We have a pop-up canopy we bring so we can spread a blanket out under it, and DS can play on the blanket in the shade all day. At the show this weekend, the grassy area was directly across the street from where our car was parked, so we weren’t sitting right next to our car like usual, but we were right across the street, about 50-60 feet away. Anyway, it was about time that DS was getting hungry, but he wasn’t fussing yet – just pulling himself up on my pant leg, which usually means he’s hungry if it’s getting about that time, so I picked him up, handed him to DH and headed across the street for the bottled water I had in the car to make his bottle. When I walked away, he was not crying, but when I returned, less than a minute later (however long it takes to walk 60 feet, grab a bottle of water off the dashboard, and walk back 60 feet), he was in crying. I grabbed a nuk to soothe him, and quickly made a bottle. The nuk didn’t completely work, but it quieted him some. All in all, he probably cried less than two minutes, and the bottle ended all noises but some sighs. Anyway, this guy walks up to DH from about three cars down and says, “The guy down there says your baby is driving him crazy”. I didn’t hear him say it, but I saw from the look on DH’s face that whatever he said did not sit well. When DH told me what had happened, I looked down and gave this guy my best “mom stare” when he looked my way, but I REALLY wanted to go down and say something. I didn’t though. I behaved myself. The thing is, first of all, this wasn’t just a car show – it was a town festival, so it was a family event. If that guy can’t handle the noise of a child, he shouldn’t be there. That aside though, I could MAYBE sympathize if DS had been screaming for ½ hour or something, but it was probably under two minutes, and for sure under 3 minutes, and he’s 6 months old, so while he can cry loud, he certainly isn’t the volume of say a toddler tantrum, or a ear-piercing scream. It was just an “I’m hungry” cry for a short couple minutes outside (not even indoors). So, I’m just curious – has anyone else had this happen, and what did you do? Or just hypothetically, what do you think you would do? I had thoughts of walking right up behind the guy and taking DS’s bottle away just to really make him crazy. Or walking up and asking if he has a problem he wants to talk about, since he apparently doesn’t have the guts to come say something himself. Obviously I’m neither that creative nor that brave.

I forgot about it within about 5-10 minutes since after DS was done eating we went walking through the craft sale, but I just thought it would be fun to hear other people’s responses. That way if it happens again, I can be more prepared.

Taking your child's bottle away to make him cry seems like punishing your child. Confronting someone over a comment you're hearing secondhand seems silly and even dangerous if that person should take offense.

I guess I was never much of a protective mother. I can't see making a fuss over something like this. It's not harming your child so why make a non-event into a big deal?

 

[okeydokey]

I wouldn't have done anything. The guy was nervy to tell you about the friend, but he's entitled to be annoyed about your crying baby and you are entitled to think nothing of his opinion. At 6 months old you have a lot of years of parenting ahead of you. I would try not to get worked up about other people's comments.

 

[Dancemom03]

I wouldn't have done anything. The guy was nervy to tell you about the friend, but he's entitled to be annoyed about your crying baby and you are entitled to think nothing of his opinion. At 6 months old you have a lot of years of parenting ahead of you. I would try not to get worked up about other people's comments.

ITA

 

[hucifer]

I probably would have laughed and then gone on about my business.

 

[Ilike2Lurk]

Anyway, this guy walks up to DH from about three cars down and says, “The guy down there says your baby is driving him crazy”. .

I would have said "His crying drives me crazy too” and laughed it off Then I would have went about my fun day with my family

but I REALLY wanted to go down and say something.

Like what? “How dare you don’t enjoy my screaming baby?”

 

[Ilike2Lurk]

I wouldn't have done anything. The guy was nervy to tell you about the friend, but he's entitled to be annoyed about your crying baby and you are entitled to think nothing of his opinion. At 6 months old you have a lot of years of parenting ahead of you. I would try not to get worked up about other people's comments.

Well said.

 

[lil mermaid]

I wouldn't have done anything. The guy was nervy to tell you about the friend, but he's entitled to be annoyed about your crying baby and you are entitled to think nothing of his opinion. At 6 months old you have a lot of years of parenting ahead of you. I would try not to get worked up about other people's comments.

I agree. You are going to be in for a very long 18 years if you let every little thing get to you.

 

[Fishbone†]

I hear you guys - hence the thoughts remained thoughts, and not actions. I would like to clear up that DS was not screaming, he was crying, not that it really matters. I didn't let it ruin my day, nor did I even think about it for more than 10 minutes, other than being a bit self-conscious that DS would make any further sounds. I guess it was just a strange (at least to me) situation I ran into this weekend and I was wondering for fun what others thought or would do. Now I know.

I guess my point would be, that yes, he's entitled to his opinion, and yes, I understand that some people don't like the sound of crying babies. I get that - my child is not everyone's pride and joy. However, I have the right to be there with my child - I am not bringing him to some adult event, or somewhere that quiet is necessary or even the norm - and at 6 months old, he's bound to cry at some point. It's his only form of communication. So, if he cries, and if I do everything I can to curtail that crying as quickly as possible (which we did), then I don't know that the voicing of that opinion to the parents is necessary. Now I know it wasn't him that came over, but I don't believe for one second that he didn't know his friend came over. I don't even know that you could convince me that he was opposed to his friend's actions. Just my opinion from my observations. I think it's rude to voice those opinions to someone who hasn't encroached on your "space" more than was absolutely unpreventable in a situation that's busy and bustling and full of children.

Yeah, I have 18 (or more) years of this. I don't feel like this situation is a precursor to a lifetime of frustration. I didn't get all "worked up". It was just one of those things that left a little sting (maybe because it was the first time), and I would have a hard time believing anyone else wouldn't feel the same way - even for just a second.

Just because someone has an opinion doesn't make it right to express it, and if they do, I don't think it's out of line for the other person to feel hurt or self-conscious about it. Some people are bothered by overweight people..... because it bothers them, does it give them the right to come out and say something to that person? And if they do, doesn't that person have the right to be bothered by the comment?

 

[MushyMushy]

Is there really anybody who enjoys a crying baby, even if it's just for a minute?

I think the guy who came to you was just trying to be funny and embarrass his friend.

There are going to be plenty of times -- PLENTY -- when people aren't exactly enthralled with your kid. As long as you're doing your best, then that's all you can do. You just need to figure out if their irritation is justified (like your tot running rampant in a store -- see my post about that ), or if the other person is just easily annoyed.

 

[Jennasis]

I hear you guys - hence the thoughts remained thoughts, and not actions. I would like to clear up that DS was not screaming, he was crying, not that it really matters. I didn't let it ruin my day, nor did I even think about it for more than 10 minutes, other than being a bit self-conscious that DS would make any further sounds. I guess it was just a strange (at least to me) situation I ran into this weekend and I was wondering for fun what others thought or would do. Now I know.

I guess my point would be, that yes, he's entitled to his opinion, and yes, I understand that some people don't like the sound of crying babies. I get that - my child is not everyone's pride and joy. However, I have the right to be there with my child - I am not bringing him to some adult event, or somewhere that quiet is necessary or even the norm - and at 6 months old, he's bound to cry at some point. It's his only form of communication. So, if he cries, and if I do everything I can to curtail that crying as quickly as possible (which we did), then I don't know that the voicing of that opinion to the parents is necessary. Now I know it wasn't him that came over, but I don't believe for one second that he didn't know his friend came over. I don't even know that you could convince me that he was opposed to his friend's actions. Just my opinion from my observations. I think it's rude to voice those opinions to someone who hasn't encroached on your "space" more than was absolutely unpreventable in a situation that's busy and bustling and full of children.

Yeah, I have 18 (or more) years of this. I don't feel like this situation is a precursor to a lifetime of frustration. I didn't get all "worked up". It was just one of those things that left a little sting (maybe because it was the first time), and I would have a hard time believing anyone else wouldn't feel the same way - even for just a second.

Just because someone has an opinion doesn't make it right to express it, and if they do, I don't think it's out of line for the other person to feel hurt or self-conscious about it. Some people are bothered by overweight people..... because it bothers them, does it give them the right to come out and say something to that person? And if they do, doesn't that person have the right to be bothered by the comment?

You handled the situation just fine.