Husband's employee fell for an online scam - is there anything she can do?

[supersnoop]

She isn't asking for the money. I'm sure she'd take it if offered but it isn't going to happen and she and her roommate have worked for him long enough to know that. DH has a strict policy about cash advances - you have to have already earned enough that pay cycle to pay it back out of your next check.

Most of his employees he wouldn't get involved with this at all. These are long term, reliable employees that he is fond of. Between the wreck and this they are having a rough time and he feels bad for them.

What I mean is, question she's essentially asking is, how do I get $1,700 with no work or consequences? She's already spent money that she doesn't have and doesn't want the bank to come after her. She doesn't seem to want to work for the money, nor hold the scammer (or "love interest") responsible. If she's refused to file a police report and just wants the bank to leave her alone, then she wants the $1,700 to be free without any consequences. You can provide all the great advice in the world, but she's not really asking for advice. If you told her that she could ask the bank for a payment plan or pull some overtime shifts to earn the cash, would that help? It sounds like you've already told her that it's a scam, and that didn't help.

In my opinion, this isn't a "what can I do" problem. This is an "I need $1,700" problem, with an "I haven't learned my lesson" kicker.

 

[_19disnA]

So how is this person in contact with your husband if you indicated she is out of work due to a car accident injury? While your husband can offer employees advice, I don't think it is his problem to solve if she is that naive to send money to some online stranger. Seems like there are bigger issues she has to deal with that aren't your husband's issue. Your husband can't be Mr. Fixit for every problem his employees run into outside of work. Perhaps he can refer her to the HR department for advice on how to deal with this sort of scam.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

So how is this person in contact with your husband if you indicated she is out of work due to a car accident injury? While your husband can offer employees advice, I don't think it is his problem to solve if she is that naive to send money to some online stranger. Seems like there are bigger issues she has to deal with that aren't your husband's issue. Your husband can't be Mr. Fixit for every problem his employees run into outside of work. Perhaps he can refer her to the HR department for advice on how to deal with this sort of scam.

Sorry, couldn't help myself. It's a small (tiny) business. He is the hr, ceo, code enforcement, head cook, bottle washer and apparently therapist department.

 

[FCDub]

Yeah, sorry, not your problem nor your husband's.

 

[focusondisney]

Sorry, couldn't help myself. It's a small (tiny) business. He is the hr, ceo, code enforcement, head cook, bottle washer and apparently therapist department.

Still doesn’t explain how they are your husband’s employees but have no money because they can’t work. Are they former employees?

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

Still doesn’t explain how they are your husband’s employees but have no money because they can’t work. Are they former employees?

They were injured in a major car wreck a few weeks ago, they haven't been medically cleared to come back yet.

 

[_19disnA]

Particularly in a small company, employees may try to dump all of their personal problems on the boss. Your husband needs to set boundaries about what is/isn't his role. All of these people are adults so they also need to take some of their own responsibility for problems they brought on themselves.

 

[Karin1984]

Particularly in a small company, employees may try to dump all of their personal problems on the boss. Your husband needs to set boundaries about what is/isn't his role. All of these people are adults so they also need to take some of their own responsibility for problems they brought on themselves.

Yes, but what if this person is indeed politically correct called 'a little slow' and that she just can't phantom that there are people out to scam. I don't see a person like that dealing with a lawyer or a bank. She probably needs some kind of trustworthy help. Not necessarily OP's husband, but who should be the person to help?

(Not saying you gave to be a little slow to fall for a scam)

It reminds me about an incident when I was 17 or 18. In many ways an adult and living on my own, and in some respects still a child. I was on my dad's health insurance policy and due to some weird situation I had to get some medical care and I got the bill. First time in my life. I had no idea what to do, I didn't have the money and thought myself too adult to ask my dad for help. I didn't understand why it didn't went to my dad's health insurance (what is custom where I live).

I honestly thought if I ignored the bill, it would go away. The bill didn't go away. The longer I didn’t pay, the higher the amount got due to late fees. Till I had to ask my dad to solve this for me.

If this person is indeed a little slow, I can imagine her brain gets stuck in a loop, hoping it will go away somehow.

 

[_19disnA]

The employee was hired to do some sort of job and presumably has the necessary skills/intelligence/ability to do that. The boss isn't trained to be a social worker or substitute parent. The boss could suggest that person discuss their situation with their parents and/or a trusted relative. Still don't see it as the job of the boss to be in the middle of this situation.

 

[nw6675]

I don't think it is the boss's job and responsibility, but it sounds like his employees are more than just workers to him. A little kindness of making suggestions (sounds like it's been done) and a nudge in the right direction seems ok in this relationship.

I agree that boundaries must be set and he isn't obligated to fix the situation. But there is nothing wrong with a little compassion such as what @Karin1984 suggests. Hopefully we all have that person we've had in our corner at some point in our lives.

 

[Her Dotness]

The employee was hired to do some sort of job and presumably has the necessary skills/intelligence/ability to do that. The boss isn't trained to be a social worker or substitute parent. The boss could suggest that person discuss their situation with their parents and/or a trusted relative. Still don't see it as the job of the boss to be in the middle of this situation.

We don't know the nature of the woman's job, though. Sounds like possibly a server in an independent family-owned restaurant.

In which case, I can see the OP and DH acting somewhat in a parental role, particularly since this woman may be intellectually disabled to some extent. Perhaps she also hasn't family she could turn to or may have none at all. Lots of people haven't caring or responsible enough relatives to give advice or support in this situation.

It would be difficult for small business owners who think of their employees as a second family to determine how much help and support they can reasonably give. A challenge indeed for all involved in this situation.

I hope OP and DH can decide what to do as this unfolds further and, perhaps most importantly, will realize when they've reached their limit.

 

[starry_solo]

I would print out the results of research of what to do if you’ve been scammed and give it to her

 

[starry_solo]

I would print out the results of research of what to do if you’ve been scammed and give it to her

maybe one from a local police department

here is a good one

https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-do-if-you-were-scammed

 

[lanejudy]

but what if this person is indeed politically correct called 'a little slow' and that she just can't phantom that there are people out to scam.

With all due respect, "a little slow" is NOT politically correct.

If the employee does indeed have a cognitive disability, she more than likely has community resources available to her -- a social worker, a social services agency, a job coach and/or life coach, a parent or trusted adult, maybe even a guardian. And the suggestion to contact Legal Aid is exactly that -- a community resource that will help her. But she needs to be the one making that contact and following through, unless she does have a guardian in which case she needs to inform that person what is going on so they can help her. If she has truly gotten herself into legal/financial difficulties, the employer is not the person to solve it for her. Offering time off and pointing her towards legal aid is really the only viable option for an employer. But she has to want the help AND be willing to admit it's a scam; otherwise there is no help for her financial difficulties if she continues to insist the "love interest" is legit.

 

[lockets]

I'm the one who walked her through filing a claim with Cashapp and saw their response. The bank is being patient with her but will eventually take action, I'm sure. I believe she was scammed, she's a little slow and her roommate is literally terrified of technology. She isn't capable of doctoring anything to that level. She just keeps saying it has to be a mistake, he loves her, she doesn't understand what happened, etc.

DH isn't going to pay it for her, I just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything else we could tell her to try. I'm just going to stick with what we initially told her - there's nothing she can do, the bank will have to send her to collections. She has nothing for them to take or put a judgement against and most likely never will. Scammers are scum.

Ohhhhh ok got it. Wow. That's truly terrible and sounds like she was exploited becuase scammers know exactly who to exploit. Back to your role it sounds like even if there's more she can do, she might not understand or continue to be in denial/resistence and that's OK. This is her lesson to learn and hopefully she will be more discerning in the future.