Huge fallout with neighbor - NEW Update post #129!

[ChrisnSteph]

Ok, here's the update. My dh went to the school and met with the principal. He explained everything that happened, plus a bit of history about the other confrontations we and other neighbors have had with him. She took it very seriously, and said that it's illegal for him to confront my dd on or near school grounds. Though he didn't come right out and threaten my dd, any perceived threat to a child is enough for them to take action against him. She also said that she's going to get the school district's sheriff liason involved, and she would also talk to the girls' teacher, the duties and the crossing guard. They are being very responsive and proactive about everything, and that makes me feel a LOT better! When my dh came home, before he even got to the front door, Randy got in his truck and left. I was thankful for this, but all it did was cause my dh to pace around the house, geared up. So we decided to just get out of the house for the day, away from the situation, and it gave my dh time to cool off and rethink everything. He agreed that nothing good or positive would come out of confronting Randy, and he didn't want to give Randy any reason to say that we are threatening or harrassing him. However we did pick up the paperwork from the court house to file a Request for Stop Harrassment Order. It's the first step you take before you get to a restraining order, which we probably wouldn't get anyway because he hasn't actually made a threat. This is basically a legal way to make it clear to him that he is stop harrassing my dd or anyone in our family, and it also prohibits him from having access to a firearm during that time. If he breaks that order, we'll go from there. When we got home yesterday, Randy was outside, but immediately went inside when my dh went out to wash the cars. He's a coward in that he doesn't seem to have the guts to confront us when my dh is home. My dh had to go back to work today and won't be home until tomorrow, so I'm a bit nervous. It's only going to be a matter of time before something else sets Randy off. It wouldn't surprise me if he was bi-polar or had a rage issue, because he goes from one extreme to the other. Anyhow, thank you all so much for all your great advice, and I'm sure he'll be livid so I'll update when he gets the harrassment order!

 

[jajuan]

I am very impressed with the way your school system is handling the situation. Good for you for taking all of the steps to protect your daughter.

 

[HayGan]

It is probably for the best that your DH had a chance to cool off and not confront him.

I hope everything goes well for you and your family. Hopefully, your neighbor will wake up and see the error in his ways!

 

[ericamanda01]

I'm happy to hear that the school is taking this seriously. I hope it all works out.

 

[Patty3]

I am really sorry that you have such a knuckle head living across the street from you. His behavior is irrational and you are handling the situation very well.

 

[jbdreamer]

I am glad the school is being so supportive and proactive. That's reassuring!

 

[disneynutt1225]

Glad to hear your DH didn't confront Randy. It's just not worth it to do things that way - especially with someone who's as volatile as Randy seems to be. Let us know how it works out when he's served with that harassment order - it should be interesting, to say the least.

 

[monsterkitty]

I am a teacher and we had a situation similar to this one with a not-so-stable parent and other families. One family came to us and explained what was happening and we made sure the two students had no contact during the day. At the parents' request, we switched their daughter's schedule for all classes except mine (not possible because of the class itself). I just made sure the children never went near one another.

The situation grew to involve more complaints. We, the school, actually got a restraining order to keep the father away from the school so we could protect the children even more. Yes, the restraining orders the other families had were to prevent the father from any contact, any where, but we wanted to ensure the safety of all students at our school.

Unfortunately the ones who suffered were the children of this man. It got to the point that students were afraid to talk to the children because they feared the dad. It very much isolated the children. Yes, we got CPS involved in the early stages but because the father was mentally ill and was not endangering his own children there was not much they could do.

 

[Chicago526]

I'm glad that things seemed to have calmed down for you, and that the school and police are taking this seriously. Hopefull, while the order will get him worked up again, he will at the same time realize that he can't push you around without serious reprecusions for himself and he'll back off. I feel so sorry for his daughter though. If you ever see him doing anything to put her safety at risk, make sure to report it!

 

[AMcaptured]

I'm not surprised he went inside when he saw your husband, he seems like the kind of guy who beats up on women (verbally in this case) because it gives himself some sort of power trying to dominate what he preceives to be the weaker sex. Guys like that are truly cowards in all ways and usually avoid men like the plague.

Good luck with the situation and I hope the matter continues to disapate.

 

[Mimi Q]

Thanks for the update.

 

[VanniGirl]

For you and your DD. Glad to hear the school responded to your concerns. Hope all improves!

 

[scoutsmom99]

glad everything is going ok so far and that you got the school involved so they know what is going on.

 

[zalansky]

Steph,
I am so happy to see your update...the school is being wonderful. Also glad DH didn't confront Mr. Freak - that will benefit you guys in the long run if he keeps up his antics. Good luck.

 

[golfgal]

I also am impressed with the school's repsonse. My guess is that they have delt with him before and know what to expect. Like I said earlier, I can't imagine what he is like in private if he acts like this in public.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

You and your DH definitely have more restraint than what I would have, good for you!!! I am glad the school is being so helpful. Hopefully he will leave you alone while your DH is away, be careful with this wacko.

 

[phorsenuf]

How did things go yesterday? Did Mr. nutjob still hide away from you?

 

[SamIAm21]

I also am impressed with the school's repsonse. My guess is that they have delt with him before and know what to expect. Like I said earlier, I can't imagine what he is like in private if he acts like this in public.

That's exactly how I feel. I am glad things are settling down and you have some recourse against this maniac. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but can you imagine what is poor wife has to live with?

 

[ChrisnSteph]

How did things go yesterday? Did Mr. nutjob still hide away from you?

He was gone most of the day, and I never saw him outside. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he explodes again. He's a loose cannon. We found out where he used to live, and my dh and I are going to make a visit and speak to his old neighbors. We want to find out if there's anything else we need to know or be aware about. Thanks for all of your concerns!!!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Here's a new update! The school sent the district sheriff liason over to Randy's house today. According to the officer, when he went over there Randy and his wife were fighting over who was going to do the talking, and he said he almost had to file a "415" on them (domestic dispute)! Of course, like I knew he would, Randy blamed everything on us, and our daughter. He also denied ever confronting Hayley after school. The officer said if we can locate that witness who had seen everything, he'll go back and confront Randy about lying about it. He said that he spoke to our daughter and finds her very credible, and if Randy confronts her again he'll be arrested. We have an incident number, and it was filed as a domestic dispute. The great news is that Randy told the officer that they've contacted a realtor and their house will have a for sale sign on it next week. He went on to say that he and his family hate this town and "people like us" are the reason why. I really hope it's true and they're going to leave, then my daughter can feel safe again. Anyhow, just thought I'd update y'all!